An Amish Courtship, COMPLETE SERIES: Amish Novella

by Samantha Jillian Bayarr

  Was he even real or had she imagined him due to her wounded stupor?

  Grace wondered how well her cousin knew Samuel, but she didn’t dare ask Leah, fearing she would discover that she had a crush on a mann who may not even exist. If he was real, Grace wasn’t up for a lecture about the closeness the two of them had shared under the large oak tree at the edge of his field.

  Grace lost herself in thought about Samuel, wondering just how much of what she remembered about their encounter had really happened, and how much she may have embellished in her mind or even dreamed. She hoped she had remembered every bit of it as it had actually occurred, but her head felt so foggy she couldn’t be certain of any of it until she spoke to him again. She would know simply by looking into Samuel’s eyes what had transpired between them, wouldn’t she? Surely she would know just from speaking to him if her feelings for him were one-sided.

  “Grace, are you listening to me?” Leah asked through narrowed, hazel eyes. Her brow furrowed at her cousin’s lack of attention to her chitter-chatter.

  “Of course I am,” Grace fibbed.

  Truth-be-told, she hadn’t heard a word that had come out of Leah’s mouth. But in her defense, the girl had a way of talking almost non-stop when there was another warm body around to listen to her.

  Honestly, Leah could talk to no one if there wasn’t anyone around to bounce her words off of. It didn’t matter where she was or who was or wasn’t around. If her cousin had something to say, it would come out of her mouth.

  Too many times Grace had witnessed Leah in the kitchen garden or at the clothesline talking to herself and doing a fine job of carrying on both sides of the conversation. It was comical, really, and despite a lot of teasing she’d suffered from most everyone in the community where they’d grown up, she didn’t cease in doing it. She just never saw fit to changing, just for the likes of someone else’s opinion of her.

  Leah was the type of person you either loved or hated, and she had her fair share on both sides. All Grace knew was that she had to be very fortunate to have found a mann who could put up with her constant chatter. Grace figured him to be either too quiet or just as chatty. Either way, she was happy for her cousin to have found someone to marry her. If it was possible, Grace was just a wee bit jealous of Leah’s good fortune.

  Chapter 6

  Samuel stood in the center of the barn that used to belong to his daed. He’d taken over the familye farm after his mamm finally passed on last year. She’d never been the same since Daed had his heart attack and had refused to go to a hospital.

  Not that it mattered.

  He’d never allowed a phone to be put in his barn, so there was no way they could have called for an ambulance in time to save him. His parents had been very stuck in the old ways of the ordnung. Samuel had tried to convince both his parents to go to the hospital, but they had each refused. His mamm had claimed right up to the end that it would dishonor her husband if she saved herself when he couldn’t.

  She’d passed away within the first year after her husband, even though the community doctor had found nothing notably wrong with her other than a broken spirit.

  Needless to say, Samuel had had a phone installed in the barn immediately after his mamm’s funeral. He momentarily thanked Gott he had, or he might have lost Grace yesterday.

  Samuel stood in the doorway and reflected on his life for a moment. He couldn’t help but think about his daed whenever the late-afternoon sun generated a hazy beam that shimmered in through the open door of the barn. Little sprays of dust floated across the ray of sun and settled onto the straw-laden floor. His bays whinnied as he led them to their stalls, kicking up even more dust.

  His bruder, Henry, had wanted to start over, making a home for his bride-to-be on the west side of the property. Samuel didn’t blame him for wanting to begin his marriage in a new home, but that had left him with the responsibility of taking care of their familye farm and remain living in the home in which they’d grown up. It hadn’t been an easy burden for Samuel to accept, but one of them had to shoulder the burden. For Samuel, it had been the logical choice since their schweschder had married just before their father’s heart attack. He’d unselfishly allowed his bruder, Henry out of the obligation after hearing how eager he was to build his own home for his future.

  With no prospects of marriage himself at the time the decision was made, Samuel had allowed the burden to fall on him. He’d accepted the responsibility out of respect for his familye, despite the fact he hadn’t wanted to.

  Unfortunate for him, he now regretted that decision.

  Samuel’s thoughts suddenly turned to Grace.

  Leah had talked his ear off over her excitement that her cousin would be visiting for the wedding. He knew from her duties as attendant that Grace was indeed unmarried, and was not betrothed. Attendants are always unattached.

  Feeling nervously content that Grace was available for pursuit, Samuel wondered if he should risk an offer to take a buggy ride with him this evening. He knew he had no right to pursue her, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he should find out if the future he’d sealed for himself was the right one before it was too late. It was nearly too late now, but he felt he owed it to himself to be sure he’d chosen correctly. He hadn’t seen Grace since yesterday, but he couldn’t go calling on her in front of Leah.

  After hearing Leah describing her cousin prior to their meeting yesterday, Samuel had imagined Grace as a young school-girl, but he supposed Leah’s description of her was due to the amount of time the two women had spent apart. When he’d first met Leah when she’d moved to the community nearly three years ago, Samuel had had the same opinion of her.

  After his encounter with Grace yesterday, he could hardly consider her a silly school-girl. She’d become a woman without her cousin’s knowledge, and the image Leah had put in his head about Grace had drifted away the moment he realized it was her that lay limp in his arms yesterday afternoon.

  Chapter 7

  Grace looked at Leah, wondering how they could be so opposite now when they’d been inseparable up until the time when Leah’s familye had left the community. Leah had been getting on Grace’s nerves all day, ordering her around like she knew what was best for her. All she’d wanted to do all day was go for a walk, and her cousin wouldn’t even let her out of bed.

  Grace sighed, thinking about how the distance between them had changed Leah so much.

  Her cousin had moved to this community nearly three years ago because her familye needed a larger home. Her mamm had become unexpectedly pregnant with twins that year, and the home they’d inherited had never been large enough. With three younger siblings, there simply had been no room in the small home to squeeze in two more kinner.

  Grace and Leah were both sad to have been separated at such a crucial age, but there was nothing the cousins could have done to prevent it. They’d been close then, but Grace now looked upon Leah, thinking she might as well be a stranger. Leah had become bossy and overbearing—more than Grace had remembered her being.

  It felt strange that in the span of less than three years they could have grown so far apart from one another. They’d both changed a great deal. They were nearing twenty, and Leah had managed to find herself someone to marry.

  There were no prospects for Grace back home. All the available menner in that community had been promised practically from birth. They had all been matched up by their parents—except for Grace’s parents, who didn’t believe in such arrangements. In some ways that was better for her, but it left her with the very real possibility of becoming a spinster.

  Her thoughts turned to Samuel.

  Dare she hope for such an arrangement with him? Meeting Samuel yesterday was, in Grace’s opinion, an act of Gott. If she hadn’t been low on money, the cab driver would have brought her all the way to her cousin’s haus instead of having to drop her off at the county road. It was even the cab driver who’d suggested cutting through the field in order to save walking time.
If not for those two things, she might not have met Samuel.

  Dare she call their meeting fate?

  Leah would probably say she was narrish for thinking such things. Meeting Samuel seemed almost fairytale-like, and she wasn’t about to face reality unless she had to. She would simply keep her thoughts and feelings to herself and not confide in her cousin. After all, they hadn’t shared anything of great interest in some years now.

  Truth-be-told, Grace felt as though she had outgrown her cousin in a lot of ways. But in some ways, her cousin had outgrown her. Leah was the one who was about to be married—the one who was about to become a woman—and that made Grace just a little bit jealous.

  Chapter 8

  Samuel paced the length of the yard wondering if he should hitch up one of his bays to the buggy and go check on Grace. But what excuse would he give to Leah about his visit or his inquiry of her cousin? No, he wouldn’t be able to explain his way out of that one, now would he?

  It was probably best if he put Grace out of his mind. His future was already set, and there was no room for Grace to be a part of it. He’d been so forward with her, and he hadn’t given any thought to how that might affect her. He’d acted selfishly, but he hadn’t been able to help himself. She was so angelic.

  If he didn’t know any better, he’d say he’d fallen in love with her the moment he’d set his gaze upon her.

  But that wasn’t even possible, was it?

  He wasn’t privy to that type of feminine knowledge. That was definitely girl-stuff, and his schweschder would tell him he was acting a little narrish.

  Perhaps he should have listened a little more to the chatter that had filled their haus before she’d gone off and gotten married. She’d tried to involve Samuel and Henry in her wedding preparations so they would be more prepared when it came time for their own courtships and weddings, but they had both found other things with which to occupy their time. Samuel figured that if he was going to be hog-tied into participating in sewing bees and quilting bees with his schweschder, he might as well hang up his suspenders and hat and put on a dress and apron instead.

  Now he was left with the most difficult of situations, and he didn’t dare share it with anyone.

  He needed to talk to Grace, but how could he? He didn’t see any way to get some time alone with her without Leah questioning him about it.

  Samuel continued to pace, feeling like he was caught between a rattlesnake and a bear. There was no way out of this if he aimed to keep Grace’s feelings intact. He felt the pressure of it like the weight of a horse on his shoulders, and he saw no way to include Grace in his future no matter how badly he wanted her in it.

  Chapter 9

  Grace didn’t want to sit still while the doctor took her blood pressure. He flashed his penlight in her eyes several times while she looked off in the distance. She didn’t see the point in all of this fuss, but Leah had insisted she stay in bed until the doctor gave her permission to be up and about.

  All she’d wanted to do all day was take a walk and see if she could remember her way back to the oak tree where she’d met Samuel. She had to know if he was real. She’d also spent the entire day peering out through the window of what promised to be the perfect October day. With a warm breeze floating in through the screen, she’d smelled the faintest hint of burning leaves most of the afternoon. It was one of her favorite smells during the season.

  Instead of doing what she’d wanted, she’d had to endure an entire afternoon of Leah’s self-centered boasting about her wedding. She didn’t begrudge her cousin happiness, but the prideful manner in which she spoke of her future with Silo was beginning to weigh on Grace’s nerves. At this moment, she couldn’t wait to get away from her cousin. She felt bad for feeling that way, her only concern had been to see Samuel.

  Perhaps I’m the one being selfish, she chided herself.

  The doctor put his things in his leather bag after telling her she was able to be up for a few minutes at a time.

  “I was hoping to get a little fresh air,” Grace inquired of him.

  “I don’t see that as a problem,” he said. “But be sure that you don’t wander off on your own. Be certain someone knows where you are at all times. I wouldn’t want you taking another spill and ending up in the hospital.”

  “I was hoping to take a short walk,” she argued.

  “Perhaps tomorrow, if the dizziness goes away,” he said without looking up.

  There went her plans.

  She would have to endure Leah’s constant chatter, and she certainly didn’t want her cousin tagging along when she went to look for Samuel.

  Leah smoothed back Graces’ hair as the doctor let himself out of the room.

  “You’ll have to stay in for the rest of the evening, unless you can talk mei mamm into sitting on the porch with you for a few minutes. I must get ready to go. Silo will be here soon to fetch me for a buggy ride.”

  Perhaps she could sneak out after Leah left. Surely her aenti wouldn’t notice if she slipped out the front door. She’d spent most of the day in the kitchen making applesauce. Leah had used her as an excuse to get out of the chore for the better part of the day. Grace had wished several times that she would just leave her alone and help her mamm.

  The sound of buggy wheels drifted in through the open window.

  Leah kissed Grace on the top of the head and grabbed her shawl.

  “That will be Silo. Don’t wait up!”

  She winked at Grace before leaving her room, bounding down the steps faster than a lady ought to.

  Grace crossed to the window and peered down at the buggy that pulled into the yard. The large bay came to a halt as the leather straps tugged at the bit in his mouth. Silo jumped out of the buggy as Leah ran out to meet him.

  Silo’s hair was the same sandy color as Samuel’s, and from what Grace could see from this distance, he looked just like she’d remembered before she’d slammed into his bay—the same horse that now pulled the buggy that sat below the window. She recognized the unusual black markings on its flank.

  With one quick gesture, Silo slipped both his hands over one of Leah’s and placed a kiss upon it.

  Grace’s heart slammed against her ribcage as she struggled to focus on Silo.

  Hadn’t Samuel cupped Grace’s hand in both of his yesterday and placed a kiss at the top just the way Silo just had to Leah?

  It assailed Grace’s memory like a swarm of angry bees trying to protect their honey tree.

  She remembered opening her eyes briefly at the feel of his hands engulfing hers. She’d watched him dip his head and kiss her hand while he soothed her with his deep, baritone voice. “The doctor is on his way,” he’d said to her just before her lashes collapsed again.

  Grace could feel bile making its way up her throat.

  Surely this was a coincidence.

  Or had she fallen in love with Leah’s betrothed?

  *VOLUME TWO*

  Chapter 10

  Grace pulled in a deep breath.

  She couldn’t get enough air.

  She was having a panic attack, and couldn’t calm down.

  Pacing the floor of Leah’s room, Grace stopped at the window and looked out several times, waiting for Leah and Silo to get into his buggy.

  She was angry.

  But who was she angry with?

  Herself, or Samuel?

  Perhaps she’d read something into his kindness, and she’d imagined the rest of it. Still, why would he not tell her who he was? Why had he given her his real name instead of his nickname?

  Was it possible she’d mixed the two of them up, and had only remembered what Silo looked like? Or perhaps, there was no Samuel!

  Grace peered down at the couple talking and laughing in the front yard. The sound of his deep, baritone drifted upward.

  That was definitely Samuel’s voice.

  Grace crossed to the bed and sat down, bending her head low.

  She was hyperventilating by this time.


  Surely Leah’s betrothed would not make improper advances toward her. She had to have dreamed the entire thing. But why would she have done such a thing? Perhaps her jealousy over her cousin’s wedding announcement had driven her to imagine herself in Leah’s situation. Or was it possible that he had mislead her and had taken advantage of her?

  He had not come across to her as being that type of mann.

  Not in the least.

  If she had to describe him in one word, that word would be gentleman.

  Without a doubt.

  Grace tried to block out the memory of the sweet and tender way in which Samuel had treated her yesterday. She’d listened to his heart beating, and it had lulled her to sleep. She’d taken in his manly scent, and felt the strength of his arms enfolding her as he’d lifted her gently from the ground. He’d carried her effortlessly to his barn where he’d set her down just as gently and stroked her loose hair that had fallen over her forehead. All the while, he’d talked to her in the most alluring baritone—the same one she could hear now!

  Grace sighed.

  She was indeed hopelessly in love with Leah’s betrothed.

  Chapter 11

  Grace threw herself onto the bed, dramatic sobs shaking her. She’d never felt so humiliated and disgusted in all her life. How could she have been such a dumkoff to believe Samuel was interested in her? She was so plain compared to Leah, who had always been so sure of herself that her natural beauty illuminated all around her.

  Her daed would surely scold her for having such prideful thoughts, but she just couldn’t help but feel jealousy toward Leah.

  Some time later, Grace stirred at the sound of the doorknob turning. She sat up quickly, her heart racing. She must have cried herself to sleep.

  “Go back to sleep, Grace,” Leah whispered through the dark. She tumbled into the room and collapsed onto the twin bed across from her cousin.