From the Top

by Roxanne Smith

  In the tension-riddled wake of his slight pause, Seraphina’s pulse galloped, and time seemed to slow. Her breath held, her muscles froze, and her skin prickled. Foreign sensations assaulted her in that brief space of seconds.

  Grant’s gaze dropped again, as if he didn’t have the nerve to look her in the eyes. A piece of her heart went out to him, because she recognized self-doubt as surely as she felt the hum of truth and earnestness in his words. Still, they were no less of a shock to hear, spoken on a whisper, flavored by his soft laugh.

  “I love you. My head and my heart are in complete harmony over the matter, so it’s an unpleasant revelation to hear you say yours are in discord.”

  When she didn’t respond, he let go of her hand and stepped away, turning his back to her. His hands slid into his pockets. “Well. You feel how you feel, I suppose. If you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting to prepare for. But should your mind ever catch up to your heart, I’m here. Right here.”

  * * * *

  Grant heard the whisper of Sera’s shoes on the floor fall away as she left his office. Tension and misery thrummed through him. In a sudden burst of insight, he realized he hated Brendan Berkley to a degree that was almost shocking in its depth. And yet, Grant had signed on for this. And he couldn’t regret his involvement, because if he had not hired Seraphina, who’d thus unknowingly brought Brendan and his trouble in her wake, he would not have fallen inexplicably in love with her.

  He battled absentmindedness through his morning meetings. He met Roper’s concerned glance with a slight shake of his head and begged off a golf game that weekend with an old client.

  Finally, the lunch hour came, and he strode into Heritage Acres. His mind came awake, as if he’d been in some kind of trance since Seraphina had left his office that morning. Now, synapses were firing once more, and his pace quickened. Until he saw Kathleen, he hadn’t realized his intent. He greeted her with the genuine wide smile she inspired. She met it with only a slight rise of her eyebrows. Her new cell phone was grasped in her hands.

  Emma happened to be striding down the hallway and past Kathleen’s room as Grant stepped to enter it, and she paused to say hi and wave in at Kathleen. “She doesn’t go anywhere without that thing,” Emma declared, beaming her approval. “And you might not guess it, but your mom is one of the most popular ladies around. She had a line of folks visiting to get her number, and now she’s a veritable social butterfly.” She grinned indulgently at Grant, as if they were two proud parents gushing over a prodigal child, and squeezed his arm affectionately. “It was a wonderful gift.”

  “Thanks,” he replied lamely as she walked away. He only felt worse that Seraphina had thought of it before he had. “Hey, Mom.” He lowered himself into his seat at the table and nodded appreciatively at today’s spread. “The cooks have outdone themselves again.”

  Summer squash cooked down with milk and onions nestled next to a loaded baked potato generously adorned with sprinkles of bacon, cheddar, and chives, and dollops of butter and sour cream. A thick cut slice of ham covered the other half of his plate. Kathleen’s potatoes had been removed from the skin and mashed with sour cream and chives. She’d forgone the ham in favor of a small filet of flaky white fish. She nodded her agreement and used her thumbs to tap out a message.

  Grant pulled his phone from his breast pocket in anticipation. He wasn’t disappointed. A few seconds later, an incoming text buzzed. Are you okay?

  He glanced up at her over the rim of his phone, held aloft. He bit his lip and decided it wasn’t worth asking how she’d known something was off. He considered himself adept at keeping his emotions under wrap, but if anyone could see beneath the veneer, it would be his mother.

  He sighed and lowered his phone. He scratched his chin and pushed his plate away so he could rest his elbows on the table. Most days, he came for lunch. Today, he’d been driven to Kathleen’s side by a desire for someone to help him shed light on Seraphina’s decision to turn her back on the bright, tender thing growing between them. “Seraphina doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

  The disappointment in Kathleen’s gaze was a prod to the open wound. She tapped furiously, and he was impressed with her speed. So much for old people and new tricks, he thought wryly. Did she say why?

  Grant couldn’t explain everything. So he wove through the parts he could. “Well, if I eliminate the trust issue as something that can be repaired later—a story I promise to fill you in on at the first available opportunity—and boil everything she said down to the kernel at the center, I can surmise she’s scared.”

  Kathleen nodded.

  “I don’t blame her.” He shrugged. “I don’t think she’s cowardly or stupid. Hell, that’s what makes her appeal so frustrating. I get it. I understand backing out when things start to get uncomfortably real. I’ve done the same with other women. When they got too cozy.” He stopped suddenly, realizing who he was speaking to. He cleared his throat. “That’s, uh, more than I intended to share.”

  Kathleen bent over her phone. She took her time, so Grant cut a corner from his ham and chewed thoughtfully. He was halfway through his baked potato when his phone finally sounded. He wiped his fingers with a napkin and read. Seraphina makes you feel differently? Be sure, Grant. Don’t ask her for something you yourself aren’t sure you want.

  Grant caught himself smiling. “You must enjoy the autocorrect. No more shorthand.”

  She typed a quick reply with a wide smile. Love it! Then she set the phone aside and began poking at her fish with her fork.

  Effectively, she left Grant alone with his thoughts. He rubbed his hands together, then made slow work of ferrying squash from the plate to his mouth. Very slow. His mind churned over the past few weeks.

  The tense moments, the companionable silences, and the little details shared; it didn’t seem to matter how much he learned about Seraphina, he craved more. They’d danced together in a crowded bar, snuggled deep into thick covers on a Sunday morning, gave and demanded intimate touches, and told secrets and jokes. They’d shared coffee and quick, wry exchanges on a Monday morning at the office, and weary strides to the elevator at the end of a long week. In every capacity, she made him curious and thoughtful, made his very soul hum with her presence.

  His phone went off. He realized he’d been staring into space and murmured an apology to Kathleen. The message received wasn’t from her, though, but from an unknown local number, but he made a pretty clean guess at the sender.

  Word is Saturday is going to be lovely. You and Seraphina should take a long ride out to Lake Pickthorne and see the sights. -O

  Grant had no idea if the summons boded well or not. But his heart skipped a beat at the chance to talk to Oliver and Seraphina together. It might finally be time for him to get his chance to come clean, and not a moment too soon. He was convinced if Seraphina knew he was trustworthy, the rest of her concerns about their relationship could easily be put to rest.

  A message from Kathleen popped up. Good news or bad? Your face can’t seem to decide.

  He glanced up with a wry smile. “Maybe a little of both.” He put new verve into finishing his meal. “Thanks, Mom. I’m glad you had me ask myself that question. About Seraphina. I realize now I haven’t asked her for what I want at all.”

  * * * *

  Kay and Neve bent their heads together and stared at Seraphina with matching smirks. Seraphina rolled her eyes. “Please, stop. Slap-stick comedy is not a tool of persuasion.”

  Neve picked up her Budweiser. “It’s never been properly employed.”

  “Don’t ever tell Neve she can’t use something as a weapon,” Kay warned.

  Seraphina wanted to leave. The bar was nice. Quiet. The drinks were well-made, sweet and not too strong. But she wasn’t in the mood for Kay’s well-meaning interference. And she definitely wasn’t prepared to deal with Neve. She wondered how she’d ever thought the woman was
anything like Grant. The two of them couldn’t be more different. She almost said as much, but decided it wasn’t worth extending the conversation to explain.

  The quickest way out was through. She took a fortifying sip of her cranberry vodka and gave Kay a humorless smile. “I appreciate you. I do. You’re one of the most important people in my life. But you have to understand that in order to work out my feelings for Grant, I have to go through the fire myself. You can’t convince me he’s my one true love, and you can’t undermine the concerns I’ve dredged in questioning the relationship. Things with Grant will work out, or they won’t, Kay. I know you care about me, you want me to find love and to be happy. But there’s only so much a pep talk can do, babe.”

  She sipped gingerly at her drink while she awaited Neve’s soliloquy that inevitably followed anyone’s opinion. Even Kay’s gaze had shifted to Neve, to see what her response would be. It was as irritating as it was fascinating to witness the pull and magnetism Neve effortlessly wielded.

  She shocked Seraphina into dropping her jaw when she shrugged and told Kay, “She’s not lying.”

  Kay blinked slowly a few times. “But…but what if it’s love? And she won’t even give the guy a chance because of daddy issues?”

  “Hey,” Seraphina cut in firmly. “I can use that term. When you say it, it’s just rude.”

  “Sorry.” Kay lowered her gaze, but only for a fraction of a second. Then her hazel eyes were drilling into Seraphina’s. “But—”

  “Come on, Kay.” Neve patted her hand comfortingly. “It’s the reality of relationships. For me and Duke, it was really obvious that I was afraid of the vulnerability that sort of closeness demands. I needed time. Did I really want Duke, or was I just settling for the first man who could stand me, only to get stomped on later when he’d had his fun and wanted to move on? I’m awful. We all know it. I feared he’d eventually want the things he would never find in me. And,” she added more kindly, with a knowing look at Seraphina, “When you’re not in your early twenties anymore, you lose a bit of that blind, youthful, arrogant belief that you’ll always be attractive and alluring. It fades, without warning. One day you wake up and realize you can’t count on your fresh face and perky tits to get attention. Naturally, you begin to wonder if what else you’ve got is enough.”

  “Exactly.” Seraphina’s quiet reply seemed to cast them all into somber moods. “I never considered it that way, but I recall the moments I realized I wasn’t ‘young’ anymore. Men’s gazes don’t linger the way they used to. If something clever doesn’t come out of your mouth in the boardroom, they’re moving on without a second glance.”

  “You guys. You’re not ancient. Is your age really the problem?”

  Kay was incredulous and Seraphina didn’t blame her. “No. Not really. But it might have something to do with my waning confidence.”

  Neve waved her away and took a deep pull from her beer bottle. “It’s temporary. There’s power in age. A different kind of power than the kind a woman finds in youth.” She grinned devilishly. “More potent.”

  Seraphina believed her and answered with a slight smile. “I’m only a couple years behind you. Good to know it gets better. I just want to be sure I’m going in with my eyes wide open. Not only to be certain that Grant really wants to get involved, because in some respects I think he’s surer of this than I am. But we need to go in with the right expectations and for the right reasons.”

  “And that’s wise,” Neve said. “I finally realized it wasn’t some whim on Duke’s part. He’d seen the worst of me and still loved me. Only then could I convince myself to take the leap. Once I decided I wanted in, I couldn’t get hitched fast enough. Now the fucker is trapped and going nowhere.”

  Seraphina sniffed. “As if he wants to.” Inexplicably, sweet, earnest Duke Kennicot was hopelessly enthralled by Neve.

  “I’m still pretty raw about your eloping.” Kay swung her glance between Seraphina and Neve. “This is so weird, but I think you guys are totally clicking right now. Should I leave and let you bond, or do you still need me?”

  Neve groaned and Seraphina laughed softly. Her cell phone pinged, the special little noise that she’d chosen to be Grant’s notification sound putting a skip in her pulse as she rooted for her phone inside her clutch. She was able to ditch the big bag since she no longer had cause to haul a camera around with her. Her nerves sang as she opened the message.

  Mandatory meeting tomorrow. Dress for a picnic.

  Short, to the point. Concise. Proper. Everything that was Grant, and yet nothing of the man she’d come to know. If it weren’t for their conversation this morning, she could have expected something extra. He might’ve asked if she’d like to bring a white wine along to make a real date out of the trip. Another message came through. How does one dress for a picnic?

  She laughed softly. A wash of fondness swept over her. She missed him. Not because they’d been long parted, more a simple longing for his presence. If she could trade him in for the two women gossiping to each other on the other side of the table, she would. The silliest thought occurred to her then. She could, actually. She was moments away from being at his side, if she wanted it. And she did. Despite every last objection she’d come up with, and even she had to admit some of them were dubious concerns at best.

  She bit her lip, argued with herself for what seemed an eternity, and finally replied. Depends. This is a business outing?

  His reply seemed long in coming. It is. But not an office matter.

  She was confused. So…not tricking me into a date?

  No. Related to Tanbee House. I can tell you more when I pick you up.

  She was only more confused. Why did they need to leave the city to discuss Tanbee House? But as Grant’s messages were short and thin on details, she decided not to push. And if he really wanted her opinion… Those Levi’s that fit snug on your hips would be very suitable for a picnic.

  Oh God, was she being a tease? She was dismayed and amused by the idea. She’d never considered herself much of a flirt. Or even someone who inspired flirtatiousness in another. Grant made her feel like the sort of woman who was both. His reply was quicker than hers had been. Then might I suggest the blue sundress? Seems picnick-y to me.

  A smile stretched her lips. She knew the one. It was almost promiscuously short, with a full, flouncy ruffled skirt and fitted T-shirt style bodice with a scoop-neck. Not exactly a sundress, but she’d ruin the fun by being pedantic.

  “Well, now that’s a smile.”

  Seraphina glanced up sharply at Neve’s almost predatory grin. She’d almost forgotten where she was. Kay shrugged and nudged Neve. They both looked at Seraphina with mockingly innocent expressions, but spoke as if she weren’t there at all. “Do you think she knows?”

  Neve nodded. “Classic denial.”

  Seraphina rolled her eyes. More than ever, she’d like to kick them both to the curb and have Grant in their stead. “Ha-ha, you’re hilarious. Two minutes ago, you agreed with me, Neve.”

  She held up a slender finger. “No. I offered you my understanding. I get it. In no way does that mean I agree with your scaredy-cat tactics. I was a scaredy-cat once. Huge waste of everyone’s time.”

  “I thought we were finally going to get through one drink without you being completely insufferable.”

  She shrugged, and her brilliant amber gaze didn’t waver even a little at Seraphina’s thin insult couched in a joke. “I’m a Scorpio. I was born this way.”

  Seraphina snorted. “I could’ve guessed if you hadn’t told me. Pisces. No wonder we don’t jive.”

  “Right?” Kay concurred. “I’m a Libra. I have no business hanging out with either of you.”

  “Well, then, allow me to take some small measure to correct the issue.” Seraphina slid a pile of bills onto the table. “Drinks on me, ladies. Thanks for coming out and commiserating with me, but I shoul
d go. Turns out I have plans tomorrow, and I’d like to get my film developed so they’re available when Oliver gets around to asking for them.” She frowned. “Or rather, prints off my SD card. You know, I appreciate advances in technology, but there’s no elegance in the language.”

  Kay’s pleading gaze turned somber. “I was about to beg you to stay, but that’s a good reason to scuttle away, I guess. Not that I’d blame you for bolting because we’re overbearing, annoying know-it-alls, desperate to tell you how to live your life.” She off-set the remark with a brilliant smile Seraphina couldn’t help but return.

  “I’ll appreciate your meddling eventually. Maybe not tonight, but one of these days.”

  Neve’s grin was as malicious as it was playful. “And I’ll accept your apologies and praise of my greater, insufferable wisdom.”

  “No doubt,” Seraphina agreed dryly. God, she hated when that woman was right, but then had to admit Neve filled a niche in her life. Sometimes, it was nice to be around someone who seemed to have all the answers.