Pawn (Nightmares Trilogy #1)

by Davis, Sophie

  “I feel it too,” I told him quietly. The energy radiating from Kannon was what stopped me every time I considered touching him. It was an invisible barrier that surrounded his person like an electric fence, complete with a high voltage warning sign.

  Kannon sighed, and his expression turned pensive. “If you don’t remember making the agreement to become an Egrgoroi, then I don’t get how you can be one. You don’t even know what you’re supposed to do. But you have all the signs and you did die.” He seemed to be vocalizing his stream of consciousness rather than actually speaking to me.

  “What agreement did I not make?” I asked. “What exactly is an Egrgoroi?”

  “Egrgoroi is Greek for ‘watcher.’ It’s our job to ensure that events on earth unfold the way the gods want them to. We agree to receive messages and carry out the acts the way the visions show us in exchange for a second chance at life on earth.” Kannon hesitated; maybe he’d said too much.

  I wasn’t sure I wanted to know too much more. What he was describing sounded a lot like destiny. A presence of destiny and fate, and whatever else you wanted to call it, meant an absence of free will. It meant that some supposedly superior beings were calling all the shots, using us lowly mortals like chess pawns.

  “Endora?” Kannon whispered my name like a question. “Are you okay? Believe me I know this is a lot. When I woke up in the hospital, I thought it was all a bad dream. I prayed it wasn’t real. Part of me kept that hope alive until I turned eighteen and the visions and visits began. At first they were stupid things, like you were saying. Within a couple of weeks they turned a little more serious.”

  I needed to start collecting a dollar for every time someone asked me if I was okay. I could pay for college by the time this nonsense was sorted out.

  No, I wasn’t okay. In ten days, the sun my world revolved around had gone from lacrosse practice and studying for AP exams to setting up trysts at a biker hangout to discuss the cosmic issue of destiny and whether or not I would play a role in ensuring that mankind fulfilled theirs.

  “Can we talk about something else?” I asked. “I know this is why we met and all, but I…I,” I stuttered, not sure how to finish the statement.

  In addition to my appetite, my sense of reality, right and wrong, good and evil, were gone. The fact that there may be people, these watchers, these Egrgoroi, influencing the outcome of a given situation did not sit well with me.

  Were the Egrgoroi responsible for pivotal decisions throughout history? Did an Egrgoroi put the idea of shooting JFK in Lee Harvey Oswald’s mind? Were the gods bored one day and decided to have an Egrgoroi suggest the marriage between Marie Antoinette and the man who would become Louis XVI because they knew the French people didn’t want to eat cake and would, therefore, revolt? In a fair and just world, would Kelly Clarkson really have won the first season of American Idol? Or was her victory the result of Egrgoroi interference?

  While I wanted to make a worthwhile contribution to humanity, I had no desire to spend the rest of my life coaching team Elysian or team Tartarus, calling plays from the underworld playbook. I’d been thinking more along the lines of Teach for America or Doctors Without Borders. Hell, I’d settle for graduating from high school at this point.

  “It’s not the only reason I asked to see you. You aren’t exactly hard to look at. You’re a great athlete. Contrary to what some people think, I wouldn’t use any adjective to describe you that rhymes with witch. And Terrence tells me you’re easy.”

  “What?” I demanded incredulously, startled out of my internal musings. “Terrence said what?”

  Kannon laughed. “Just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Your eyes were sort of glazed over, and you looked like you were tuned in to a different channel.”

  “Very funny,” I scoffed, throwing a handful of the paper confetti I’d made from my napkin in his direction.

  “Why don’t you tell me about your friends? Or the classes you are taking? Where you’re going to college?” Kannon suggested.

  So I did. I told him about Elizabeth and her dysfunctional family, Devon and Rick and their soap opera relationship, and Mandy and her upcoming date with Matthew Horcowitz. Kannon said he didn’t personally know Matthew, but would do a background check for me. We were taking a number of the same AP classes, so we discussed the upcoming exams and how each of us was preparing. Or not preparing, in my case. I told him that the space next to my name on the Guidance Office wall of seniors still said undecided for the college I’d be attending. The acceptance deadlines were fast approaching, and my mother and I were still arguing over whether I could go out of state. Kannon told me he planned on attending Johns Hopkins to play lacrosse.

  We discussed our families. The normalcy of his life with a mother, father, and two younger sisters made my overprotective-mother-who-accused-my-father-of-kidnapping story that much more ridiculous. Kannon was sympathetic and nonjudgmental, if not a little more interested in my parents’ fights than I thought prudent. But I guess when you come from a perfect family, maybe the drama was interesting.

  Kannon’s phone rang, from what sounded like his pocket, while he was telling me how his family had moved to Maryland from Connecticut because of his father’s job with a company that engineered jet parts.

  “Sorry. I thought I turned the ringer off,” he said, reaching to silence his phone. When he saw the name on the display, he paused. “Hmm, don’t know who that is,” he commented as he sent the caller to voice mail. “So, yeah. I started at St. Paul’s in the fall of this year –” The phone was now vibrating on the table top. Kannon picked it up, clearly annoyed. “It’s that number again,” he said, then rattled off ten digits I knew well.

  My cheeks felt like they were on fire. How embarrassing. My mother was actually calling his phone.

  “I am soooooo sorry,” I said. “It’s my mother. When I told her I was meeting you tonight, she asked for your number in case she needed to get in touch with me and I wasn’t answering my phone. I turned it on silent and – what time is it?”

  Kannon smirked. “It’s fine, Endora. Why don’t you answer, though? I don’t want her sticking the cops on my tail.”

  I couldn’t decide if I found that funny as I snatched the phone from his hand and said a very annoyed greeting to my mother.

  “Endora? I thought you said nine? It is now 9:15, and I am home and you are not,” Mom replied.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was so late. We’ll get the check, and then I will head home. Is that okay? I’ll be there by ten at the latest,” I promised.

  “Please don’t dawdle, and drive carefully,” Mom told me and hung up.

  I handed the phone back to Kannon, apologizing profusely for my mother.

  “I’ll go find the old man and pay the check,” Kannon offered. “Don’t go until I get back.”

  “You don’t have to pay. It’s not like this is a date,” I mumbled, now feeling embarrassed for a whole different reason.

  Kannon’s green eyes widened. “It’s not?” he asked. “We had dinner.” He seemed to reconsider. “Well, I had dinner and you played with your food.” He pointed to my plate of nibbled fries and untouched sandwich.

  Impossibly, I blushed deeper. I wasn’t the type of girl who ordered salads without dressing on dates, only to go home and gorge on Twinkies afterwards. Our earlier conversation had left me with little desire to eat, and the latter one hadn’t left me time to squeeze in bites.

  “We shared our innermost secrets,” Kannon continued. “I know you have an irrational fear of revolving doors, and you know that when I was six I ate the last piece of my dad’s birthday cake and blamed it on the dog.” Kannon paused for dramatic effect. “And in the parking lot, standing next to your car, I am going to at least try to kiss you.”

  I was speechless. Not that a large part of me hadn’t been secretly hoping he would kiss me. I just couldn’t believe he actually said it. Kannon left me staring, dumbstruck, as he went in search of Mr. Haverty.<
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  Ten minutes later, we were indeed standing next to the Bug saying our goodbyes. Kannon held up his palm midway between us. Tentatively, I mirrored the gesture. Electricity pulsed between our hands. The bluish white current lit up the space between our palms, audibly crackling as it traveled the short distance. The sight was mesmerizing, magnetically drawing my gaze and making it impossible to turn away.

  “Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked, my voice sounding unnaturally high-pitched.

  “No. But you only live twice, right?” Kannon teased, although it sounded a little forced.

  His hand jerked forward, fingers intertwining with mine. The jolt reverberated through my entire body, causing my toes to tingle and my knees to go weak. Energy coursed in my veins, throwing my heartbeat into an irregular rhythm. Even if I’d wanted to break the connection, I doubted it would have been possible. I had no desire to pull away, however. Gone were the conflicted sensations that I’d come to associate with Kannon. Only the craving to be closer to him, the thrill of being near him, the excitement over his touch, remained.

  Kannon felt it, too. And when I didn’t fall to the pavement convulsing, like I’d read some people do when electrocuted, Kannon leaned closer until our lips were millimeters apart. Every hair stood on end, and I decided no first kiss would live up to the one I was about to have.

  When our mouths finally met, the hum of electricity intensified, filling my ears with an insistent buzzing. The current was all around me, inside of me. I felt more alive than ever. Kannon looped our joined hands behind his back, and I wrapped my free arm around his neck. The fine hairs on the back of his neck danced against my palm, each one sending a new charge up my arm. Kannon’s free hand was on my waist, gently guiding me backwards until my back rested against the driver’s side door of the Bug.

  Somewhere in that kiss, he made me a believer. Not in soul mates or kismet or any other fantastic notion of romantic love that Elizabeth constantly spouted, but in everything that he shared with me at dinner. There was something so honest and pure about him that I knew he was telling the truth. Now I just needed to figure out what it all meant.

  “Maybe you could think about everything I said earlier, and when you’re ready, we could figure out how you came to be an Egrgoroi,” Kannon said, when we finally broke apart.

  “If I’m an Egrgoroi,” I corrected. One of my hands was still playing with his hair, absorbing the current that passed between us. The longer I sustained contact, the more pleasant the feeling became.

  “You are one of us,” Kannon said in a tone that left no room for debate. “It’s just not clear how it happened.”

  “How are we going to figure that out?” I wanted to know.

  “I will try and track down some of the others I’ve met. They’re older, been around longer. They might know more than I do,” Kannon promised.

  Before I could ask any more questions, his mouth found mine again. His lips were soft as they caressed mine. When the kiss became deeper, I was grateful to be leaning against the car because my legs were jelly. Both of Kannon’s hands rested on my hips, helping keep me upright. Nothing existed outside our two bodies and I liked it that way.

  Chapter Fourteen

  On the drive home, I learned my mother wasn’t the only one who’d tried to reach me while I’d been at the Moonlight Diner. Devon had sent no less than twenty-five texts with a variety of colorful messages that all boiled down to two words: Call me. Elizabeth also wanted me to “call with all the details, ASAP.” And despite not talking to me since her outburst in the lobby, Mandy wanted a ride to school the following morning.

  I dutifully replied to all my friends. Assuring Mandy that I would pick her up so she wouldn’t be forced to ride the bus came first. To Elizabeth I simply responded with “Typical 1st date.” A text message wouldn’t satisfy Devon, however. In truth, I did want to share my evening with her. That was what best friends were for. I just didn’t know how much I wanted to divulge. It had been Devon who’d first realized the connection between my electrical problems and the near-death experience. Taking it a step further, though, and throwing in the possibility that I’d been given a second chance at life in exchange for being some sort of afterlife minion didn’t sound like the type of nonsense she’d swallow.

  I set my cell to speaker and dialed Devon’s number. She answered on the first ring, no doubt having spent all evening watching her own cell like a pot of water about to boil.

  “Don’t leave out a single detail,” Devon demanded.

  “Hello to you, too,” I said.

  “Don’t play coy or try and be cute. I want a blow-by-blow. The popcorn is in my lap.”

  I took a deep breath and decided to go for it, tell her everything. If anyone could get to the bottom of how I came to be an Egrgoroi without meaning to, Devon could. Even if she had to travel to the underworld and demand an audience with the Panel of Three, Devon wouldn’t rest until the mysteries of the universe were mysteries no more.

  Surprisingly, she barely interrupted as I replayed my conversation with Kannon. She didn’t freak out when I told her that I’d been experiencing the dreams for the past week, or when I described the half-remembered meeting with a mythological ferryman. True to form, Devon promised to scour the ends of the internet and even the physical library to aid in the quest to find out more about the Egrgoroi and how I’d become one.

  “Do you really believe all of this?” I asked her after she’d finished rambling off a list of books she was currently ordering from the local library.

  “The question is, do you? History is full of people that could see the future or heal the sick with one touch. Wars have been won because of some twist of fate. Disasters have been averted and lives have been saved because one person changed her routine. How do you explain that if you don’t believe in people chosen to help maintain balance on earth?”

  “Luck?” I suggested, playing devil’s advocate.

  “No,” Devon said flatly. “The occurrences are too frequent to be random.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. Again, the absence of free will bothered me. It meant that my life wasn’t my own. No decision I made really mattered. Whatever was meant to be would be. Why study and get good grades and go to a good college and get a good job if none of it mattered? Why carry out a to-do list for your life that someone else had written?

  In addition to not believing in birthdays, my mother also never encouraged a belief in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or organized religion. So I’d never had my sense of the world shaken quite like it had been after Kannon dropped his bombshell. Retelling the details to Devon only deepened my despondency.

  “One more question,” Devon was saying. “Is he a good kisser?”

  “The best,” I said absently, then realized Devon had purposely slipped in the question when she knew I was distracted. “You didn’t have to trick me,” I told her. “I would have told you.”

  “So, your non-date was actually a date?” Devon pressed.

  “Sort of,” I admitted.

  Devon laughed. “It’s okay that you went on a date. You deserve to have some fun. Life doesn’t have to be all about school and sports.”

  Maybe not. But life was much simpler when it had been.

  Mom was sitting at the kitchen table when I opened the front door at five minutes past ten o’clock. She called my name and beckoned for me to join her. I set my backpack and gym bag by the door and reluctantly complied. To my surprise, Mom wore a smile instead of the scowl I’d grown accustomed to.

  “How was dinner?” she asked, setting her pen down and giving me her full attention.

  “Good. Sorry I’m late. We were talking and I lost track of time,” I replied.

  “I’ll say. It must have been some first date. It was a first date, right?” Mom watched me carefully, studying my face for a tell.

  “Yes, Mom. And if we go out again, you can meet him,” I told her, surprised to realize I meant it this time.

&
nbsp; “I look forward to it.” And Mom looked like she meant it.

  “I have a lot of homework,” I said awkwardly. I loved that Mom was asking about my night and not in the interrogative way that she normally used, but discussing my dating life with her made me uncomfortable. “I’m gonna head up to my room.”

  “Go ahead,” Mom said, still smiling.

  It occurred to me that maybe Devon and Elizabeth weren’t the only ones who thought I needed to get some real-life dating experience. If my mother only knew what had drawn Kannon and me together…

  Once in my pajamas, I settled onto the bed, but didn’t start my homework. Instead, I opened the folder Mr. Haverty had given me, again. My father’s research suddenly seemed relevant. The myths and legends he’d been looking into may talk about the Egrgoroi.

  I couldn’t find any references to the Egrgoroi specifically. But there were several highlighted passages that interested me.

  Only the Chosen shall know the way, for with one’s life they must pay. The in-between is neither here nor there, but to it one may voyage from everywhere. Journey beyond the gate before it is thy turn, succumb to fortune’s fate, no way back from this sojourn.

  In a land where blood and fire reign supreme, only the Chosen shall hope to escape the inferno. A contract signed with pen mightier than any found on mortal plane binds the Chosen to a Decree yet unbroken. The balance of power is best left to the omnipresent.

  Across the smoothest seas they wait, poised to decide all mankind’s fate. One goes up and one goes down, by the brothers’ whim they will be bound. Lesser will fall and Blessed shall rise, only the Chosen shall know reprise. Blindly, man enters and asks for reprieve; with knowledge the Chosen are granted their leave. Only a fool aims to escape destiny, all-knowing, all-seeing, these are the Three.

  Besides the mention to the “Three,” I had no idea what any of it meant. The repeated mention of the Chosen seemed important, and I wondered if the Egrgoroi were the Chosen. In Advanced Lit Mrs. Macemore had us interpret poems all the time, in preparation for the AP exam. It was not an area in which I excelled. Devon, however, would likely take one look at the passages and instantly conjure a translation.