“I might have met up with you at Willow Grove. That way I could have met your parents, as well. I assume you didn’t want me to do that.”
“Not at this juncture, Spence. I felt that we should have some time alone, and Drew and Annie would have been home if I had gone there, so this seemed a good alternative.” I reached up, and smoothed the back of my hair. He smiled warmly, and put a hand out to touch a tendril which had escaped the side of my upsweep. “I adore your hair like that. It reminds me of your debut Ball. It makes you appear very chic and sophisticated.”
“Well, Spence, I think you know I’m hardly that,” I laughed, trying to sound casual.
“I know nothing of the sort, dear Sophia. But, I agree completely with your idea about engaging a room here. Good thinking. I’m pleased you did. Do you want to talk here in the room or would you rather go down to dinner?” he asked with a smile.
“I’m famished, and have been looking forward to dinner in the Thames Room. Let’s go down. We can talk over dinner.” I was postponing the inevitable. When I told him my decision, the romance would end. He would leave. I would never see him again. I was still desperately searching my mind for an alternative. Upon entering the Thames Room, a four-piece band was playing, and there were couples on the dance floor. The Maitre’d escorted us to a table by the windows. Spence ordered Dom Perignon champagne, making it evident that he intended the evening to be a celebration of our love and commitment to one another. I decided to let him speak first. Then I would cruelly break his heart.
“Well, Spence. Have you had a busy week since I last saw you?” I asked, after we had ordered the champagne, and had each been poured a glass.
He placed his hand over mine on the table. “Busy and lonely I’ve thought of you every moment. I’m rather glad I was so covered up with patients or the time would have gone more slowly. I’m so anxious to meet your parents, and get the beastly formalities out of the way so that we can begin planning our future.”
I hadn’t planned on getting into this part of the conversation so soon. I still hoped that at the last moment I would change my mind. But, there wasn’t any feasible way to work it out. I knew that. There also didn’t seem to be any way to prolong my speaking. I was just about to reply, when another couple appeared beside our table. It was an acquaintance from Ashwick Park and her beau. I wanted to die. This probably meant that we would have to invite them, at the very least, to have a glass of champagne with us. The girl’s name was Charlotte Ross, and she was a schoolmate I did not especially care for.... She’d always shown a disdainful attitude toward Edwina. However, etiquette required that I be civil to her.
“Fancy meeting you here,” Charlotte commented. “I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other more during the Season,” She smiled.
“Yes, I guess we’ve attended different functions,” I replied. “Charlotte, I’d like you to meet my good friend, Doctor Spencer Stanton.” Spence was now standing, and he reached over and shook her hand. The he turned to her companion. “Hello there, I’m Spence Stanton. And you are...?
The other gentleman extended his hand and shook Spence’s while stating that his name was William Young. In turn, Spence introduced me to Mr. Young. Then, just as I’d feared, Spence asked them if they would like to join us, and they readily accepted. It meant that my opportunity to speak privately with Spence had been postponed. I hoped I didn’t lose my courage. The four of us sat down at the same table where Spence and I had been alone before. The waiter hurried over, bringing two more glasses, while also spreading napkins in their laps. Then, more champagne was poured.
“So, Sophia. What a handsome dress you’re wearing. Is this a special celebration? I hope we’re not intruding upon anything.” Charlotte placed a beaded evening bag on the table beside her, and removed her lace gloves. She was wearing a pale pink, silk evening gown, with large shoulders, and puffed sleeves. I complimented her dress, as well. She was an attractive girl... fair skinned and red headed, with a long, willowy silhouette. If I remembered correctly, she was not of the nobility, and I could ascertain no reason for her to be looking down upon Edwina.
My voice took on a nervous edge. “No, we aren’t celebrating anything of note,” I answered. Spence just drove up from his medical practice in Twigbury, and we decided to have a nice dinner in the Thames Room.”
“You have a medical practice in Twigbury? How gruesome! What on Earth do you find to do in such a hole in the wall sort of place?” She picked up her champagne flute, and took a sip. I was astounded at her rudeness. But, I knew that Spence could take care of himself.
“We don’t share the same view of Twigbury, Miss Ross. I think it’s especially quaint and really quite charming. I enjoy working there very much,” Spence smiled. He turned to face William Young. “And, what is that you do, William, he inquired in a pleasant manner?
“I’ve just finished up at Cambridge. I’m taking a year to travel, and then will undoubtedly join my father in his law practice here in London.”
In the meantime, Charlotte was studying Spence carefully. There is no question that she was intrigued with him. How could she not be? He was so extraordinarily good looking, as well as so self-assured and poised. She was obviously trying to ascertain what exactly our relationship was. She turned to me.
“Have you and Dr. Stanton known one another a long time?” she finally asked.
“Just since the beginning of the Season,” I answered. We met at my debut Ball. You must have met him? I remember you being present”.
“Yes, I was. But, I didn’t spend much time socializing with you and your group. I have never much cared for Edwina Phillips, you know. A lot of the girls at Ashwick Park felt the same way. She just isn’t the sort of girl one expects to come upon at such a fine school. She really hasn’t a great deal of class, you know.”
“As you undoubtedly know, Charlotte, Edwina is my closest friend, so I’m afraid I cannot listen to any negative comments you wish to make about her. I think she fit in splendidly at Ashwick, and we shared wonderful times together.”
I was astounded at Charlotte’s cheekiness. What she was saying didn’t totally surprise me, since she and others had never been shy about showing their disdain for Edwina. My rather brusque comment seemed to have put her in her place, as she did not make an attempt to continue the conversation. My own opinion was that Charlotte, and whomever her friends were, were green eyed with envy over Edwina. Instead, she looked over at Spence, and said, “You don’t look like a doctor. You look more like a professional polo player, or a dashing RAF pilot.” She laughed.
“I am an RAF pilot.... Not certain about the ‘dashing’ part,” he retorted
“You are an RAF pilot! I just knew it. You have the sort of rugged, but genteel look of a pilot.”
Her partner, William Young, looked a bit embarrassed and irritated. I changed the subject.
“What are your plans for after the Season, Charlotte? Are you continuing on with school?” I asked. She was acting like a complete fool.
“Yes…Yes, I am, Sophia. I shall be attending drama school. You probably remember that I was in several theatrical productions at Ashwick Park.” She spoke in breathy tones…in a very dramatic manner. There was nothing ‘real’ about her.
“Yes, I do remember that. How exciting for you. I’m sure you’ll be an enormous success,” I replied.
The waiter brought menus to the table, and we all ceased conversation. “Do you wish to join us for dinner, my ‘dashing RAF pilot’ asked?”
Both William and Charlotte spoke at the same time. “Yes, we would love to,” she said, as he announced that they had to be on their way. Charlotte looked at him rather disagreeably, but she did get up, when he pulled her chair out, and retrieved her evening bag and gloves. She seemed a bit rattled. “Well, it’s been lovely running into you like this, and certainly marvelous to have met you Dr. Stanton. I suppose I must pay a visit to Twigbury some time, if someone as obviously urbane as you are finds it charmin
g.”
I suspect she thought he would tell her to ring him if she ever came his way, but he did not. He ignored her while shaking hands with William. I told her it had been nice to see her and finally they retreated from our table. They exited the revolving doors in the black and white marbled foyer, and I was relieved that they had left. What truly odious people! Or at least she was.
Spence laughed after they had left. “That woman has some sort of problem,” he chuckled.
“She obviously has a ‘thing’ for Royal Air Force pilots,” I laughed “I think you sent her heart racing.”
“There is only one heart I am interested in,” he replied, becoming serious once again. “Now, let’s pick up where we left off. What were you doing at Willow Grove Abbey, and why did you want to speak with me alone?”
“I guess we do need to speak about that,” I replied, afraid I was going to cry. “I’ve spoken with my parents about you.”
“Sophia, my God! Don’t keep me in suspense. What did they say? What did you tell them? Do you feel it went well?” I couldn’t meet his eyes. Instead, I concentrated my gaze out of the window at the silent river, and the raindrops that had begun to fall. I remember thinking that even the sky was weeping. The band was playing a love song. The sounds of tinkling crystal glasses raised in toasts, of orders being placed, and of convivial conversations seemed surreal. There were several couples on the dance floor.
“Spence,” I began, “How could we possibly have thought that this could be worked out? It can’t be, you know.” I looked him directly in the eye, but then I had to turn away when I saw the look of shock on his face. I looked down at my plate, and twirled the stem of the champagne flute in my hand.
“What are you talking about? What can’t be worked out?” His voice sounded panicky, and his face was ashen. He lighted a cigarette. “What in heaven’s name can’t be worked out?”
“Our situation,” I replied in a choked voice.
“What about our situation? I love you. That is not a situation. That is a fact. I know that you love me, too. So, whatever obstacles we face, they can and will be worked out.” Spence was agitated, and I could tell it was difficult for him to sit there at an elegant table in the Royal Thames Room, when he wanted to be pacing, or trying to hold me in his arms.
“It isn’t that simple Spence. I’ve thought and thought about it.” I tried desperately to maintain a facade of cool poise, but it was more difficult than I’d even thought it would be.
“What do you mean ‘you’ve thought and thought’ about it’? I don’t understand. Is it the religious thing then? Sophia, you really cannot be serious. I’m dumbfounded.”
“Yes, our religious differences play a large part in my thinking. That and other things. The difference between our social classes also concerns me greatly. After I visited Willow Grove, I realized clearly that my way of life has been so profoundly different from yours. You know that, Spence. I’ve been waited on hand and foot since childhood. I have no domestic skills... have difficulty even arranging my hair without a ‘Lady’s Maid’.” I loathed myself for those words.
“Class Difference? When have you ever cared a whit about class difference? This sounds like something your parents might say. Is that what this is about? Are they upset because I’m not a landowner and titled? You aren’t making a whit of sense. I’ve known you for quite some time now, Sophia, and you are not someone I would describe as helpless. You would function quite well without a ‘Lady’s Maid’, or any other sort of servant for that matter. I know this is something your parents have put into your head.”
“They’re concerned, Spence. Their concern made me see things in a different light.” I was being so terribly dishonest, and it went against my nature. Several times the thought crossed my mind to simply stop the artifice and be honest with him. He knew very well that I was not telling the truth. I could see it in his eyes.
“Are you saying that I’m suddenly not good enough for you?” He now sounded completely astounded.
“No, no of course not. However, you have lived a very different life from mine. You have said that yourself. It doesn’t mean that my life was better, only different. It’s difficult enough for two people to make a go of marriage when they come from the same sorts of backgrounds. In our case, there are so many impediments. I seem to have temporarily forgotten that I too have things I hold dear in life. I have always dreamed of being married in the chapel at Willow Grove Abbey, for instance. Never thought of marrying in a Catholic Church that I’ve never even attended, or worse still, a Magistrates Office.”
“This is nonsense, Sophia. We could still be married in the Chapel. I’ll find a priest who will marry us there. That’s not an impossibility. It may take some searching, but I’ll question every priest in England, if necessary.” He kept re-arranging the salt and pepper shakers on the table in front of him.
“But, that’s just it, Spence. You’re assuming that I would want to be married by a priest. In addition, you’re assuming that I would want to raise children Catholic. Well, I don’t. My parents and I discussed this at length. I just could never believe as you do.” My voice sounded very firm, and I thought that I probably should have studied drama at Ashwick Park, along with Charlotte Ross. I would have made a superb actress.
“What? What couldn’t you believe? Help me to understand this change in your thinking.” Now, he lightly pounded his fist on the table.
I shifted positions in my chair. My head was beginning to ache violently. “It’s not so much a change in my thinking, as it is a dawning of reality. I’m not saying I don’t love you, Spence. I do. I could never deny that. Nevertheless, I had a life before I met you. I have family tradition, and my own heritage. Your religion would force me to do things I don’t believe in.”
“Such as?” He asked, raising one eyebrow.
“Well, such as having more children than I might want.”
“Darling, I’m a doctor. There are ways to prevent unwanted children. I’ve already told you how I feel on that subject. Why are you suddenly making it an issue now?”
“Because if you truly believe in what your church preaches, you would not disagree with one of their fundamental teachings.” It was hard for me to continue to come up with arguments for him. Especially when I didn’t even feel that his beliefs were an obstacle to our being wed.
“I’ve told you before that I truly believe in most of the tenets of my religion But, I also have my own beliefs, and there is no way I would force any belief on you, if we didn’t agree on it.” He was being so terribly nice... so accommodating. Of course, that was one of the reasons I had fallen in love with him, but his reasonableness made it extremely challenging for me to make any realistic case to him.
“No, but then we would argue. Moreover, the children we did have would have to be raised in your religion. Unless I went to church with you, we would not worship as a family. That would be important to me, Spence.”
“You told me in Twigbury that you’d never been strong in any faith and that one denomination was the same as another. Now, you say that you couldn’t worship with me?”
“Yes, I know. And, perhaps I could. However, Mummy and Papa told me of some other beliefs, which seem ridiculous to me.” I was beginning to stumble and falter. Spence had an excellent memory, and it made it hard for me to continue my deception.
“Such as?”...
“Such as having to eat fish every Friday, confessing sins, and Purgatory, which sounds ghastly... I had reached a point where I knew that I was beginning to sound foolish.
“Sophia, if I have ever known anyone in my life who will have a straight arrow entrance into Heaven, it is you. That belief helps Catholics to understand why they should follow the Ten Commandments. As far as Confession goes, it is just a way for a person to know that their sins have been forgiven. It brings a feeling of peace, and for Goodness Sake, if you don’t want to eat fish, you needn’t eat fish!”
“I hate fish,” I replied. I real
ized that my answers had deteriorated to those of a child.
“We can dine out every Friday, and you can choose whatever suits you. These are all rather trivial objections in my opinion. Sophia. For God’s sake. Please think about what you’re saying. We love each other. I’m older than you are, and I know how rare our love is. Please, please don’t throw this away. I’m begging you. You are going to regret this for the rest of your life. Neither of us will ever love anyone else like this again. I’m certain of that.”
I was certain of it too, but I could not tell him the truth. Mummy’s words came back to me so clearly. It was as though she was sitting at the table with us. “Spencer Stanton will rue the day he turned you against your family.” I had to get away. I had run out of inane excuses. I stood and stumbled from the table, feeling that I needed to escape.
“Sophia! Where are you going? Wait.” Spence abandoned his chair, and rushed after me.
I scurried outside, through the front-entrance doors, desperately trying to clear my mind, and to hold fast to my determination. Of course, Spence followed.
“Sophia, give me your hand,” he said rather forcefully, taking hold of my left hand.
“What are you doing?” My heart was hammering. He reached into the pocket of his trousers, and in one swift movement slipped a magnificent ring on the third finger of my left hand. It was a square cut emerald, bordered with diamonds, in a platinum setting. I was stunned. He clearly believed that any obstacles we might face would be dealt with. Obviously, Spence was blind to any possibility that the happy future he envisioned could not become reality. “I love you, Sophia. I know that this ring can only be symbolic of my intentions. If I could, I would marry you tomorrow. I want to give you this ring tonight, so that we both know that we‘re committed in our hearts. Please accept it, and stop these foolish arguments.”
Willow Grove Abbey: A Historical World War II Romance Novel (The Somerville Trilogy) Page 9
