A Fairy's Guide to Disaster

by A W Hartoin

  “Ten.”

  “She’s too old for them. We’re lucky you’re long past the valuable age. You’d have brought a pretty price,” she said. “We must go. Soren will already be leading the search.”

  We went out the door to find most of the other dryads were gone or still walking away. They didn’t move very fast, but they looked determined with their straight backs and strong steady strides.

  “What would they do to Gerald then? He’s eight,” I said.

  “They’d sell him. They’re traders. Children are their favorite merchandise.”

  “Sell him. Like a slave?”

  “Exactly like that. Children are easier to work with. They adapt better than adults,” said Soren’s mother.

  I walked beside the dryad in silence. It was unbelievable. Slavery. I had heard of it, but didn’t know it was still practiced. My parents definitely should’ve told us about spriggans. Sometimes scared is better than ignorant. But who would buy Gerald? All he could do was annoy people. As worried as I was about Gerald, I still had a queasy pit in my stomach about Iris. I couldn’t remember a time when my little sister wasn’t dogging my heels. We were always together, whether I wanted to be or not. Now Iris was all alone with Easy. I didn’t think she’d open the door to the spriggan, but maybe he could trick her. Iris was as curious as she was sweet.

  Soren’s mother took my hand. “It’s not too late. We’ll find him.”

  I nodded. All I wanted to do was get back to the mantel and check on Iris but I couldn’t, because of Gerald. If anything happened to Iris because of that stink fairy, he’d regret it.

  CHAPTER 8

  I spent the whole afternoon searching the antique mall with Soren and the other Dryads, but sometimes I went off alone, flying up high and fast.

  No luck, not even a glimpse of Gerald. That stink fairy. Was he hiding from me? Or worse, had something happened to him?

  Soren Maple waved at me from beside a large woven basket. I took one last look from my high vantage point near the ceiling, tucked my wings, and dove straight down to the dryad. I smiled at the nervous look on Soren’s face as I pulled up at the last second to land beside him. When my feet touched the linoleum, my knees nearly went out on me. Soren caught me and held on while I caught my breath and forced my legs to support me.

  “You’re tired,” he said. “We must return home now.”

  “What? Home? No,” I said.

  “It will be dark soon. The humans will close the mall and turn off the lights.” Soren spoke slowly as if I were a very young child. If I hadn’t been so tired, it would’ve irritated me.

  “So?” I crossed my arms and frowned.

  “It’ll be dark.”

  “I don’t care. We haven’t found Gerald yet. I have to find Gerald.”

  “You have a water jug,” Soren said. “Do you need to bring water to your sister?”

  I fingered the jug. I’d gotten so used to it bouncing against my hip, I’d forgotten all about it. “Yes,” I said. “But I can’t stop now.”

  He clasped my hand. “It’s all right. We’ll get the water and take you back to your sister. My night forces will take over from here. If they find Gerald, they will bring him to me.”

  I looked up into his kind eyes, no longer surprised at the wood-graining surrounding them. All I saw was my friend, someone I could count on. Soren squeezed my hand and I squeezed it back.

  “How far is the water?” I asked.

  Soren pointed at a large grey box mounted on the wall ahead of us. “It’s right there.”

  “What is it?”

  “The humans call it a water fountain.” Soren gestured to several other dryads walking our way. “It will take several of us to operate it.”

  Soon I was walking in a forest of long thin stalks of wood. I let my mind turn off and walked without thinking. It was so pleasant to not be worried, to feel completely safe in that forest of friends. I closed my eyes and Soren swooped me up in his arms.

  “You don’t have to carry me,” I said.

  Soren’s warm breath was a gentle nuzzle on my cheek. “Rest awhile. Your weight is nothing to me.”

  I faded into sleep, and then jerked awake some time later. Soren held me with one arm and scaled the water fountain with the other.

  “You can really climb,” I said.

  “You can really sleep.” Soren smiled down at me. “We’re at the top.”

  He set me down and the metal’s cold seeped right through my shoes. The top had a lip around the edges, a flat portion, and then it dipped down into a basin with a big metal dome in the middle with holes. Off to one side was an odd, curvy metal stand with an enormous button behind it.

  “Where’s the water?” I asked.

  Soren pointed to the metal stand. “It’s in there. We almost went mad with thirst before we figured out how to use it.”

  The other dryads gathered on the top, talking to each other in their quiet, gentle voices.

  “We’re ready,” said Soren. “Matilda, go down there to the bottom of the faucet and get ready to catch the water in your jug. Be careful. It can sweep you away.”

  Soren and the rest of the dryads climbed up on the button one by one. I watched as more and more stood together on the button. I was about to ask what was supposed to happen when a small pool of water appeared at the base of the tall metal thing. I thrust the jug under the stream and looked up. The dryads were cheering. Water out of metal. It was like magic. Magic that took twenty dryads standing on a button to make happen.

  The dryads climbed down off the button and gathered around me, smiling. “Wonderful, isn’t it?” asked one.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  I looked at Soren and found him with an odd fixed expression on his face. He grasped my shoulders and turned me around. There on a shelf next to the water fountain was Gerald, tucked up between long, thin pieces of what looked like hard paper. He was curled up in a ball and one of his wings was draped over him. He was still, very still.

  I ran to the edge of the water fountain to see Gerald better. He was in one piece. I thought. The Dryads gathered behind and Soren put his hands on my shoulders. His warmth melted into me as the cold penetrated my feet from below. Caught in the middle was a burning knot in my stomach. It didn’t seem possible. We’d found Gerald. I feared that if I blinked he’d disappear.

  “Is that him?” asked Soren.

  I nodded ever so slightly.

  “Matilda, you should go to him.”

  “He’s not moving,” I said, searching for any sign of life.

  Soren lowered his head beside mine. “He’s breathing. We can hear him.”

  A whoosh of breath came out of my lungs and I wobbled a little with relief.

  Soren tilted his head closer to mine. “You can’t hear very well, can you?”

  I nodded and, for once, I wasn’t embarrassed. My hearing didn’t matter. I’d found Gerald and he wasn’t dead. I wasn’t the worst babysitter ever in the history of the world, only moderately terrible, and I could live with that.

  Then a flash of anger passed through me. “I’m going to kill that little stink fairy.”

  Soren laughed. “That didn’t take long.”

  “He made me worry so much. I’ll just… I don’t know what I’ll do.” I was so relieved, so mad, and so altogether exhausted I felt loose and limp.

  “You’re happy.” Soren wrapped his arms around me and squeezed.

  “Happy? I’m not happy. He’s a jerk. Look at all the trouble he’s caused.” I stomped my feet on the metal, making little clinking noises.

  When I said “jerk,” Gerald stirred. He raised his head as I was stomping my feet. His eyes grew large and wandered around, looking at the dryads. I stopped stomping and put my hands on my hips. What did he mean by running away and causing so much trouble? Stink fairy. Worthless know-it-all. I spread my wings to fly over, but as soon as I did, Gerald shuffled out of sight back between the paper boards.

  “Oh, no! Gerald
!” I yelled.

  I zipped over and landed between the boards myself. I looked down the narrow passageway he’d run into and could make out some movement, but, of course, couldn’t hear anything. The last thing I wanted to do was walk down that long corridor in the dark without knowing what might be at the other end. On the other hand, it was my chance to snag Gerald. That stink fairy wasn’t going to get away if I had to walk through a tunnel filled with cats.

  “Gerald. It’s me.”

  He didn’t materialize, so I crept into the tunnel. I ran my hand over the paper wall to my right. After my eyes adjusted, I could make out a picture on the wall of humans holding instruments and grinning like lunatics. At the end of the passage, Gerald appeared, or a form about his size. He was standing with his wings up. It was just like little Gerald to try to be intimidating, despite his shaking wings. When I got closer I could see that his whole body was shaking, too.

  “Gerald, it’s me. Matilda.”

  Gerald didn’t answer, but backed up a step. He looked as if he wasn’t sure whether to run to me or run away.

  “Gerald. Come here this instant.”

  I sounded like my mother on a bad day. I don’t know why I used that voice or why it worked, but Gerald stopped shaking and stomped his foot.

  “Don’t order me around,” he said.

  “Don’t be an idiot,” I replied.

  “I’m not an idiot. You’re the stupid one. Stupid fairy.”

  “Stink fairy.”

  With that, Gerald ran to me. He flung himself into my arms so hard we fell to the ground.

  “I wasn’t sure it was really you,” he said.

  “What convinced you?” I asked, sitting up.

  “Nobody else calls me Stink Fairy, except your fat sister.”

  I rested my head on Gerald’s. “Stop calling Iris fat.”

  “Stop calling me Stink Fairy.”

  That was a tough one, since he was a stink fairy, and I sort of enjoyed calling him that.

  “If I must,” I said, standing up and pulling him to his feet.

  “She is fat, you know,” Gerald said.

  “Why does it matter?” I took his hand and led him back down the corridor toward the dryads.

  Gerald shrugged. “It doesn’t. I’m just saying.”

  “Well, don’t.”

  Gerald shrugged again as we came out into the light to face the dryads on the water fountain. They cheered, cupping their hands around their mouths and jumping. I waved and felt a sharp tug on my other hand. Gerald had fainted again and lay toes up on the shelf. I knelt beside him.

  “Gerald,” I said. “Wake up.”

  Gerald cracked an eyelid. “Are they still there?”

  “The dryads? Of course, but they’re nothing to worry about.”

  Gerald shut his eye. “Make them go away.”

  “I will not. They’ve been nothing but helpful to me. I’ve been searching for you for hours. Come on. Get up.”

  “Hours?” Gerald opened his eyes to slits. He looked exceedingly suspicious, even for him. “Really?”

  “Yes, Gerald. Hours. Now we have to get back home to Iris and the baby.” I propped him up into a seated position.

  Gerald stared at the dryads. “What are they made of?”

  “Flesh, like you and me. They just paint themselves to look like wood.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “I guess they like wood a lot.”

  “I like wood,” said Gerald.

  “It would be strange if you didn’t. We are wood fairies, after all.” I pulled him to his feet. “We have to go. Iris is waiting.”

  We dove off the edge of the shelf and flew to the water fountain. I kept a sharp eye on Gerald, but I needn’t have bothered. He kept as close as possible without us colliding. I landed near Soren and Gerald landed behind me, grabbing my hand. I began to think he wasn’t so bad after all.

  “So you’ve found your little boy,” said Soren, towering over us.

  Gerald stepped out from behind me and dropped my hand. “Little? Who said I’m little?” He eyed me. His face was back in its usual resentful expression.

  I sighed. Truces with Gerald never lasted long. Dealing with him made me tired again.

  “Gerald, it’s just a description. I had to tell them what you look like,” I said.

  “I’m not little,” Gerald bellowed.

  A chuckle ran through the crowd of dryads. Some of them clamped shut their painted lips together in order not to laugh out loud. Soren and I exchanged a look of understanding. I would’ve laughed myself if I hadn’t been sure it would’ve chased Gerald off and I didn’t have the strength to go after him. Instead, I patted his shoulder.

  “I didn’t mean you’re little. You’re just the right size for you,” I said.

  “All right then,” said Gerald, still glaring up at Soren, who was at least three times as tall.

  “We need to get home,” I said.

  “You know where we are, if you need us.” Soren glanced at Gerald. “Come to us for anything at all.”

  Gerald crossed his arms and stuck out his chin. “We don’t need any help. I can handle anything.”

  “Of course,” said Soren. “Matilda, come and visit us if you can.”

  I crossed my arms. Not in an attitude of resentment, but one of restraint. I wanted to hug Soren and have him hug me. It’d been so easy being with him. I didn’t want to leave, but my need to get back to the mantel was greater. Soren touched my cheek and I turned, swallowing down the sadness of leaving him.

  “Come on, Gerald,” I said as I flew off the water fountain.

  I glanced back to make sure Gerald was right behind me. He was, keeping close as before. Then I pivoted in the air and hovered. All the dryads were climbing down the side of the water fountain, except Soren. He stood in the same spot, waving at me.

  “Thank your mother for me,” I yelled.

  Soren yelled something back. I couldn’t make it out. Gerald flew past me and stuck out his tongue. I sped up and passed him easily. We soared over rows of furniture and past glass cases. I led the way back to our mantel and I didn’t need good ears to do it.

  The antique mall began to feel cozy and quiet with fewer humans milling around. I forgot that I couldn’t hear them and just enjoyed the wind rushing past me. Everything was going to be fine. Soren had said so and he’d been right about everything else. We’d found Gerald and he wasn’t dead. If I could find my way through the antique mall, I could get us back with our parents and somehow life would go back to normal.

  CHAPTER 9

  WE rounded the last corner and saw the mantel leaning against a wall. The wood gleamed warm and wonderful under the bright lighting tubes and I couldn’t wait to get inside to smell familiar smells and hug Iris. Coming home when home was no longer a sure thing was a wonderful feeling. Gerald’s wing brushed mine and I’m sure I saw a warmth in his eye, although his expression was as resentful as ever.

  I reached for his small hand, but before I grasped it, there was a clunk and the lights went out. A red glow bathed the area and distorted everything. I stopped short and heard Gerald cry out beside me. I pivoted toward Gerald, but he was too close and I ran into him. We tumbled downward, entangled.

  “Tuck!” I yelled.

  Gerald obeyed instantly, tucking his wings and wrapping himself in a ball. I grabbed him and righted us just before we hit a table.

  “What was that?” Gerald asked, still in his tuck.

  “Soren said it would be dark soon. I guess that was it. I just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.” I tossed Gerald away from me like a ball. He spread his wings and hovered.

  “Everything’s red.”

  “Yeah, it’s weird. Let’s go home,” I said.

  Gerald glanced at the mantel. “Home.”

  We flew to our front door, hovered and knocked. I hoped that Iris would hear and come quickly. Before I could knock a second time the door flew open. Iris stood in the opening, grinning so w
ide it looked painful.

  “You’re back,” Iris said, shooting out of the doorway into my arms.

  I hugged Iris and flew her back through the doorway. Gerald landed on the threshold behind us and made discontented sounds at our reunion. He scowled at us and said, “Something smells weird.”

  Iris put her hands on her hips. “Our house doesn’t smell weird.”

  “If you think this smells normal, there’s something wrong with your nose.”

  I turned to look around the dark hall. Something did smell a little off, but all the feelings fit in the right places in my heart. Suddenly, I never wanted to leave the mantel again. It was my tree, like Soren’s mother said. I never wanted to be separated from it.

  “I found Barbara and picked up the rest of the mushrooms, but they’re still not putting off any light. Should we use the torches?” asked Iris, gesturing to a bracket on the wall that held a bundled bunch of sticks dipped in sap.

  “I guess we’ll have to. Since the mushrooms are damaged,” I said.

  “Do you think Mom and Dad will be mad? Torches are only for extreme emergencies and you know how they feel about fire.”

  “I think today counts as an extreme emergency, but I don’t know where Dad keeps his flint.”

  “I found it,” said Iris, holding up pieces of flint and metal.

  The metal had some fresh scratches on it and I raised my eyebrow at Iris. She ducked her head and handed them to me.

  “It’s dark in here without the mushrooms,” she said.

  Gerald squeezed past me and pushed up his sleeves.

  “I’ll do it,” he said. “I’m the best at making fire.”

  “Go ahead, Gerald. Give it a try,” I said.

  “Try? I don’t need to try,” said Gerald. “I’ll do it.”

  Gerald went to get one of the brackets, but tripped on a wad of blankets on the floor.

  “What’s this?” he asked.

  “I was taking a nap, if you must know,” said Iris. “I wanted to be right here when you came back. I sleep so soundly, I knew I’d never hear you knock unless I was right by the door.”

  “Where’s Easy?” I asked.

  “Ezekiel? Are we calling him Easy now?”