Honorable Rancher

by Barbara White Daille

  “The flowers?” she asked.

  “Please, Mama.” He nearly bounced up and down in his eagerness. “Then I’ll have more room for my dinosaurs.”

  For a moment she looked distressed, and then she smiled at him and nodded. “Sure, that would be great.”

  “Good. But you gotta come help, too. You gotta tell us where to put the flowers.”

  “I do?”

  Her gaze moved to Ben, as if she suspected he had put her son up to the idea. Turning, she walked toward the house, P.J. beside her. “I’ll need to take care of the groceries first.”

  Obviously, the thought of helping them didn’t appeal to her. He wasn’t sure he much cared for it, either. He didn’t need the torture of working that close and not being able to touch her.

  By rights, he probably should stay away altogether. Yet he looked for any excuse he could find to see her again.

  He ground his teeth together. He’d been seeing her all his life. Why the hell would he need an excuse to do that now?

  Another concern to add to the list of those that had plagued him lately. Concern about loyalty to the best friend who had trusted him to watch over his wife and children. Concern about the compassion he felt for this woman he’d known forever and was beginning to respect more each day—this woman who had so much on her plate.

  This woman who still grieved for her husband.

  Clamping his jaw shut against the words he wanted to say, he followed the two of them through the house and into the kitchen.

  Abruptly, P.J. backed toward the door. “I forgot. I gotta get my tools.” He turned and ran from the room.

  Dana began unloading the sacks. “I know he’s upset about not having room to play with his toys. I intended to get around to those plants very soon.” Her voice shook with anger.

  “I have no doubt about that. And for the record, I had nothing to do with the idea. P.J. came up with it on his own.”

  She squared her shoulders and stared at him in disbelief.

  That did it.

  “Hold off on those groceries.” In a half-dozen strides, he crossed the room. “We need to talk about what’s going on here.”

  “As in...?”

  “As in, what is it with you? First, for all these months, you refused to let me do anything for you—I had to buy an office building and now this damn house to manage to help you at all. And now, you don’t believe me about P.J.?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  Once again, her voice shook. He could see the tears in her eyes. Maybe she felt as frustrated as he did. But there was something else in her face, something he had trouble reading.

  That had happened more and more often lately. It bothered the hell out of him.

  But right now, he didn’t need to read her expression.

  He put both hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him squarely. “Dana, what you said with your words and what you’re saying with your body language are two different things. Why are you making this situation so hard for us?”

  “Because I should be the one to give P.J. the space to play with his toys.”

  Baffled, he shook his head. “What’s the difference who hangs up those plants? Not everyone wants or has the skills to do handyman chores. Or sometimes they can’t do them alone. Look how many times I came over to give Paul a hand. How is my helping him back then any different from my coming here to help you now?”

  “I don’t—”

  Need your help.

  He could hear the words. Before she could say them, he reached up to touch his fingertip above her upper lip. It silenced her immediately—a good thing, because as the warmth of her skin jolted through him, he had to pull his hand away.

  Later, he’d worry about the reaction. Now he couldn’t let it distract him. He let the safer feeling of irritation take over again.

  He leaned forward, looking into her wide blue eyes. “You can’t turn away from more than twenty years of friendship. Or at least, I can’t. If you won’t take help from me for yourself, at least accept it for your kids.”

  “I have been, haven’t I?” As if she suddenly fought a smile, one corner of her mouth twitched. “Lord knows, Clarice and Ellamae think you’ve become a permanent boarder here.”

  P.J. ran into the kitchen. “Ready!” He shook the plastic canister Ben had given him, making the washers rattle. “C’mon, let’s go.” He grabbed Ben’s hand and tugged. “C’mon, Mama.”

  “As soon as I finish unpacking the groceries,” she told him. “You two go ahead.”

  “Okay.”

  P.J. pulled harder, and Ben let himself be towed through the kitchen and out the door. Once on the porch, the boy kept busy running back and forth to the picnic table, moving his dinosaurs out of harm’s way.

  Ben welcomed the breathing space, the chance to get his thoughts together. If he could.

  Before, he’d had a long list of questions. Those, he’d understood. What he couldn’t deal with now was the thought that had raced through his mind when he’d touched Dana. And the added wagonload of guilt that had followed.

  He didn’t want to be her boy next door any longer. He wanted a chance with her—and he aimed to get it.

  Chapter Nine

  Between the two of them, Dana and Tess had kept Jared on the run to various properties all around the state. On Friday, they met at the office to plan their weekend strategy.

  “He’s mine for the rest of the afternoon,” Dana said. “The owner of that property outside Tucumcari called, and we’re going down there to meet with him.”

  If not for being away from the kids, she wouldn’t have minded the long ride. On the other hand, it gave her something she wanted. An excuse to stay busy. In these few days since she had helped Ben and P.J. with the flowers out on the porch, she’d needed something to occupy her mind. To keep her from dwelling on that afternoon. Ben’s reminder of all the times he’d come by the house to help Paul had stirred up too many memories for her to think about.

  His touch had stirred up too many emotions for her to handle.

  “You’re awfully preoccupied,” Tess said.

  She’d spoken in a teasing tone. Still, the words startled Dana. She hoped the reaction hadn’t shown in her face. That wouldn’t do. She needed to be very careful with Tess. With Ben. With everyone.

  “You also seem awfully eager to escort Jared around in the afternoons.” Tess smiled. “And I heard you went out with him last night. Are you sure you’re not angling for more than dinner invitations with him? He’s a good-looking man.”

  Dana forced a laugh. “The only thing I’m angling for is to give you and Caleb more newlywed time now that he’s back from Montana. After all, you’re still pretty much on your honeymoon, aren’t you?”

  Now, it was Tess’s turn to laugh. “Yes, that’s true. So I guess I’ll head back home. You’ll be picking Jared up at the Whistlestop?”

  She nodded. “I’ll be right behind you.”

  “Okay. But you know...” Tess’s tone turned serious. “It’s not a bad thing if you’re interested in a man again.”

  “Tess, please don’t.”

  “Okay, I won’t. For now. Then, on another subject, do you and Kayla plan to present your proposal Monday night?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. I can’t wait till you get it approved. I don’t know why no one else ever thought of building a playground in town. But it’s a great idea.”

  “We think so, too,” she said, pouncing on the new topic. “I expect you and Caleb will be able to make use of it one of these days soon. And I don’t mean for Nate, either.”

  Tess grinned. “I sure hope so. But it might be a little while before we need to think about that. Anyhow, I’m sure the council will go for the idea, hands down. Speaking o
f which...” she paused, then went on “...I’m on the committee for the other proposal. For the memorial in Paul’s memory—”

  Dana tried not to cringe.

  “—and they asked me to find out if you’d like to join us.”

  “Oh.” Avoiding her friend’s eye, she reached for the pen she’d left lying on her desk. “Please,” she began, “tell them I appreciate that they asked, but...but I think it would be best for the group to make their decisions without me. Besides, Kayla and I already have our proposal.”

  Tess nodded. “I thought you might turn us down,” she said softly, “but folks wanted you to know they’d offered.”

  After Tess left the office, Dana slumped back in her chair and groaned.

  What had she set herself up for? What kind of a tangled mess had she made with her web of deceit?

  With all her efforts to hide the truth about Paul, she had never expected things to come to this. To the bizarre twist brought about by her misplaced pride. And by everyone’s misperceptions of her marriage.

  She didn’t want to be held up as the iconic war widow. She didn’t want any part of their tribute at all.

  How could she have said any of that to Tess?

  She couldn’t, and there was no use even thinking about it.

  She pushed herself upright and grabbed the phone on her desk. Then she punched the speed dial for her home number and sat biting her lip while the line engaged.

  Ben had said he would be by around this time. He might already have arrived. Fortunately, she was going far away in another direction, and he’d be long gone by the time she got home.

  The babysitter answered the phone on the second ring.

  “Yep, everything is fine here,” Anne said. “And since you’re going to be a little late tonight, I’ve challenged P.J. to a checkers marathon. That’ll keep him from bothering Lissa.”

  “That’s great, Anne, thanks. I’ll have my cell on if you need me.” Dana hung up the office phone and pulled her handbag out from the bottom drawer of her desk.

  Time to head over to the Whistlestop Inn to pick up the man who had so recently entered her life.

  Time to stop thinking about the man who had always been part of it.

  * * *

  LONG HOURS LATER, Dana dropped off their client at the Whistlestop.

  “Thanks for everything, Jared.”

  Their trip out of town had taken much longer than she’d anticipated. He and the ranch owner had hit it off, and their meeting had led to an invitation for a late, lengthy supper.

  On the return trip, still hours from Flagman’s Folly, the battery of her van had died. In the harsh, dry heat of the Southwest, batteries didn’t last that long to begin with. Neither did a few dozen other parts of a vehicle. The wear and tear of a job that took her all over the state only added to the chances of something going wrong.

  “I’m glad you weren’t alone,” he said.

  “Me, too. This could’ve happened at any time. I was lucky.”

  “We both were.” He smiled at her. “I enjoyed the trip.”

  She smiled back and watched him go up the steps of the inn. When the door closed behind him, she turned the van in the direction of home. They had been lucky, also, to find a mechanic willing to come and tow the van back to his garage, where she bought the new battery.

  Between all that and the long ride home, it was now well after 2 a.m. She wanted nothing more than to get back to the house, kiss her kids and crawl into bed.

  Again, she felt guilty about being away from the kids for so long, although since Paul’s death, they’d gotten used to being left with a sitter in the evenings once in a while. Anne had put them to bed on more than one occasion.

  She’d called home several times to check in and was relieved to hear that everything had been going well.

  But after all Anne’s reassurances, she now felt surprised—and concerned—when she pulled up in front of the house and saw Ben’s truck still beside the garage.

  Leaving her van in the driveway, she hurried across the lawn. If not for the time, the sight of the truck wouldn’t have alarmed her. Ben always wanted to wrap up a project the same day, if he could. But he’d never stayed this late before.

  She nearly tripped going up the steps. It took her a couple of tries to fit her key into the lock. When she finally pushed the door open, the sight in the living room froze her in place.

  Ben lay sprawled on the couch, watching television. Seeing him so relaxed lowered her anxiety immediately. But why hadn’t he left? Frowning, she asked, “Are the kids okay?”

  “Fine. All upstairs in their beds, asleep.”

  “Good. But where’s Anne? And what are you doing here?”

  “She didn’t want to let you down, but when you called and said you’d be home so late, she finally told me she had a hot date waiting. I volunteered to stay.” He yawned widely. “To answer your question, I’m the replacement babysitter.”

  She bit her lip. Much as she wished she hadn’t come home to find him here, she couldn’t argue about his stepping in this time. Though she trusted Anne, this late at night, she appreciated having a responsible adult in the house.

  Adults couldn’t come much more responsible than Ben.

  And men couldn’t come much sexier.

  His hair tumbled on his forehead as if he’d run his fingers through it a dozen times. His eyes looked heavy-lidded from fighting off sleep.

  Slowly, quietly, she closed the door behind her and advanced into the room. “Thank you,” she said.

  “You’re welcome.” After tossing the television remote onto the coffee table, he scrubbed his face with his hands. “The van held out all the way back here?”

  “Yes, as I told Anne on the phone, it was just the battery.”

  “Guess I’d better head home,” he said. He yawned again.

  “You don’t look like you’re in any shape to drive.”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  She glanced toward the stairway, took a deep breath and looked back at him again. “Why don’t you stay the night,” she suggested. “That is, for what’s left of it.”

  He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes half-closed, an unreadable expression on his face. Or maybe it was just fatigue.

  “I’ll be fine,” he said again.

  “I’d rather not have you take the chance.” A sudden case of nerves made her babble. “You look dead on your feet—or you would if you could stand up, and I’m not completely sure you can do that. There aren’t any empty beds in the house, but you can spend the rest of the night here on the couch.”

  Her final word hung in the air. Neither of them needed the reminder. But that was over. Done with. It wouldn’t happen again. She would not think about it.

  And it was crazy to feel this anxious about inviting him to stay. Late as it was, she’d planned to insist that Anne sleep over until the morning, anyhow. Did it really matter that Paul’s best friend and not her babysitter slept in her living room?

  “Honestly, Ben. I appreciate your helping out tonight, and I wouldn’t want to feel responsible for something happening to you on the way home just because you stuck around to watch over my kids. You can have the couch—it’s no big deal. You’ve slept on it before.” She took another breath, let it out and added, “After all, we’re friends, aren’t we?”

  And after all, it wasn’t as though she was propositioning him.

  His sudden piercing look made her wonder if he’d thought exactly that.

  She dropped her bag onto the nearest chair. “You’re staying,” she said firmly.

  After yawning once more, he shrugged and reached for the hem of his T-shirt. In one swift movement he pulled the shirt over his head, exposing lots of lean, tanned skin.

  She moved toward
the stairs. “I’ll just run up and get you some linens.”

  Run described her escape from the room perfectly.

  Even while staring at Ben on that couch, she’d managed to keep all the memories of their night together out of her mind. But once he’d pulled off his T-shirt... Once she’d seen him half-naked in the dark intimacy of the living room lit only by the glow of a small lamp and the television screen... The sight had done something wild to her pulse. And the memories had flooded her mind.

  It’s only good old Ben, she told herself, hands shaking as she sorted through her linen closet. But the reminder didn’t work this time.

  To her dismay, she had a feeling it would never work again.

  * * *

  ALONE IN HER BED a little while later, Dana struggled to calm her breathing. And her racing thoughts. Awareness of her unexpected guest downstairs troubled her. But she had to confess Ben’s nearness excited her, too.

  At long last, she fell into a restless, dream-filled sleep.

  She was abruptly awakened from it, first by the sound of P.J.’s bedroom slippers slapping on the stairs and then by his exuberant greeting. He’d just discovered Ben in the living room.

  If the brightness of her room didn’t tell her she’d overslept, one look at her alarm clock did.

  She exhaled in exasperation. Seven-thirty. But after all, it was Saturday. By rights, she couldn’t actually resent that Ben had slept in, considering he’d been up so late only to help her out. On the other hand, he should have been long gone before any of the kids were up.

  Especially Lissa. Since their talk, Dana had kept a close eye on her daughter, who still seemed irritated by having Ben around. Finding him there when she first woke up wouldn’t improve her disposition any! With luck, Lissa would sleep in as usual on a Saturday, and Ben would be gone by the time she came downstairs.

  She slid her arms into her robe and tied it tightly around her. Quickly, she went to the head of the stairs and looked down into the living room.

  She could just see Ben on the couch with the sheets rumpled around him, the pale yellow fabric highlighting his dark hair and tanned skin. His hair was even more tousled this morning, making him look younger and bringing back a flood of memories.