Daring to Dream

by Sam Bailey

  I was due to go into the recording studio in London back in June but I got as far as Watford when I started contracting and having pain so I had to cancel it and drive all the way back home again. I went to hospital and the doctors were so worried I was going to go into early labour they kept me in for six days in total. It turned out I had dehydration and a water infection, both of which were causing me to contract.

  When I was finally let out of hospital I was given some time off to rest but I was really aware that I still had to record some songs for the Christmas reissue of my album. My management were amazing and said they didn’t want me to travel so they found a studio in Leicester and I eventually went in on 8th September. I was there all day and everyone was fussing over me and making sure I was okay. I had to stand up a lot to record the tracks and I found myself rocking from side to side a lot to try and get comfortable. I had a stool so I could sit down whenever I wanted but I was determined to get everything done and dusted that day – heavily pregnant or not.

  Craig came and picked me up at 5.45pm and I remember saying to him that I had bad back ache from all of the standing up and all I wanted to do was go home, have a hot bath and go to bed. Going to sleep that night was bliss.

  The following morning my midwife, Jo Proud, came round to do a check up. We were sat down chatting and she suddenly looked at me and said: ‘Sam, you’re contracting.’ I’d been tightening for about two hours and yet somehow I still felt fine and I was able to pick the kids up from school and do everything else I had planned that day. Some of the other mums commented that I was walking a bit funnily and it’s hard to explain but I felt kind of ‘open’ down there, like I had a cricket ball between my legs.

  I phoned the hospital and said I was a bit concerned and the nurse said to me: ‘You’re classed as 37 weeks today which means you’re full term, but you don’t have to come in unless your waters have broken or you’re having proper contractions. You’re better off staying at home and having a bath.’

  I tried my best to relax but by the evening I couldn’t get comfortable on the sofa no matter how I lay so I sat on an exercise ball. I was bouncing away on it for ages and it gave me some much-needed relief. I was watching a show called Hot Tub Britain at the time and I was thinking ‘I’d kill to get into one of those right now’.

  Before Brooke when to sleep that night I said to her: ‘If I go into labour tonight I need you to be a really good girl and help mummy and daddy out. I need you to help get Tommy ready for school and make the packed lunches.’ I just had a feeling it was going to happen really soon.

  When I went to bed I put a black big liner under my bed sheet in case my waters broke, and it was just as well because when I turned over in bed about half an hour later I felt the familiar ‘whoosh’. I was too scared to get out of the bed and call to Craig in case I made a mess on the carpet, so I phoned him from my mobile and he came running upstairs in about three seconds.

  Craig called his mum while I got dressed and as soon as she arrived we headed straight to the hospital. I was put on a monitor which confirmed I was contracting, and by that time the pain was really kicking in so I asked for an epidural. It was a very good move.

  At about 1.30am I was lying in a bed in the delivery suite and Craig was on a recliner by the side of me. We both started to drift off to sleep but then I was woken up by Craig’s snoring. I went to sit up and I felt really strange. Suddenly all these alarms went off and a doctor and some nurses came rushing in. They put loads of fluid into me because my blood pressure had slowed right down so I was in danger of passing out. Somehow Craig managed to sleep through the whole thing!

  Six hours later nothing was happening so the doctor decided to put me on a drip to speed things up. By 9am I was fully dilated but the baby wasn’t quite where they wanted her to be so they said they’d leave me to rest for a while. Finally, just after 10am the doctor said he wanted me to start pushing. I only did five sets of three pushes before she popped out. She came into the world on 10th September at 10.41am, weighing 6lbs 10oz. Even though she was still quite light she is still my biggest baby to date.

  When we saw her for the first time Craig and I both looked at each other and thought the same thing – ‘she’s got jet black hair!’ Craig was a bit shocked and I laughed and said: ‘Don’t worry, she is yours babe!’

  I stayed in hospital for two nights because I hadn’t breast fed for ages and I wanted to make sure everything was going to be okay. To start with she wouldn’t latch on at all and we later discovered that she’s got tongue-tied, so she’s got to have the underneath of her tongue snipped a little bit so that it can come out properly. When I first heard that I was horrified but the doctors assured me that it’s a very normal procedure and it’s a really common thing in babies.

  When we took the new arrival home Craig and I both took to having a newborn like ducks to water and loved every minute of it, so did Brooke and Tommy. They absolutely adore her. We soon got into a good routine where I do all of the night feeds and Craig looks after her while I take naps during the day. And, of course, the kids love helping out where they can.

  Name wise, I’d always really liked Madison, but Craig and I felt like Madison Pearson was a bit of a mouthful so we decided against it. I suggested Miley and Craig loved it straight away so that was an easy decision. We were going to have Faith as her second name but I thought Beau was really pretty, so we ended up having a bit of a stand off about it. Brooke and Craig both wanted Faith but in the end I decided that because I’d gone through the pain of giving birth to her I got to decide! So Beau it is.

  We were inundated with presents from people and we felt so spoilt. My living room was like a branch of Interflora and Simon Cowell and his team even sent me some Stella McCartney baby clothes. She’s a very lucky little girl.

  It was lovely being able to take some time out to bond with Miley but I definitely missed singing. I was almost itching to go back to work after a few weeks. I was so desperate to belt out some songs I even thought about searching out somewhere locally I could go and do karaoke! I’m so lucky because Miley can travel with me a lot when I’m working, and her and Craig and the kids will be coming on some of the tour with me which will be great fun.

  Weight-wise, I didn’t put on that much during my third pregnancy and once I’d had Miley I was more inclined to get back into shape than I had before, and I still am. I guess I’ve got an agenda because I’ve got a tour to do.

  When I look back now on everything that happened during and since The X Factor, it seems mad to think that I entered it on a whim, but I think people need to make more decisions in that way. We all worry and think about things too much and it holds us back. It’s easy to talk yourself out of things. Sometimes you have to ignore the doubts and the negative reasons for not doing something and just go for it.

  I’ve learnt so much about myself over the past year. I’ve definitely learnt to appreciate my kids more; I have so much more patience with the children and Craig and I talk more than we ever have. We had so many heart-to-hearts during my time on The X Factor and we’re not scared of upsetting the structure of what keeps us together any more. We endured an incredibly testing time and we came out the other side happier and stronger for it.

  My family are what got me through everything and the support I had was unbelievable. If it wasn’t for them I would never have been able to achieve the things I have. I feel so lucky to have such amazing people around me.

  I’ve made some brilliant new friends since I was on The X Factor. I have to be a bit careful when I’m meeting new people now because I worry that people will want to befriend me for the wrong reasons, but I am pretty good at spotting people who may have an agenda. Obviously it’s no secret that I’m massive Leicester City fan and Craig and I have become really pally with some of the players. Conrad Logan and his misses Vicky are going to be godparents to Miley, and we also spend a lot of time with Jamie Vardy and his girlfriend Becky and Gary Taylor-Fletcher and his wife
Viv. They’re our mates now and I don’t think about them being footballers any more because we’re all so close. I’ve also got amazing fans from all over the country and beyond that have fought my corner every step of the way and I’m so grateful to them. I know people always say they wouldn’t be anything without their fans but it’s true.

  I’ve been asked if I would I go back and do everything the same, all over again. My honest answer? Probably not, simply because of how hard it was being away from my family. If I could go back and do it all again knowing what I know now, then yes, I would, because I would be more prepared for it. I would know what to expect. But I wouldn’t want to go blindly into something that massive again. Anyone who wants to do something that’s life changing has to accept that it’s going to be difficult in some ways. No one ever said changing your life is easy.

  The best advice I could give to anyone who was going to enter for The X Factor is to make sure you have people around you who will support you, and that you’re doing it for the right reasons. Also, grow another layer of skin, because you’re going to need it. But most importantly, remember that if you don’t try, you’ll never know – and you have nothing to lose. If you want something that badly you have to go for it. Like I did, you have to dare to dream.

  My dear little Miley beau, you were made with such love, you were carried with such care and you entered the world to such proud parents! Mummy, Daddy, Brooke and Tommy love you to the moon and back xx

  My mum and dad looking very smart in their younger years.

  My favourite picture in the world: me and my dad sitting on the bonnet of his old car.

  Me with my brother Danny looking studious and well behaved for once!

  Me aged three playfully trying to help out around the house.

  Me and my mum. She loved putting me in smart dresses.

  Me with my brothers Danny and Charlie. Not too sure about the outfits, guys!

  Another stylish look. Well, it was the 80s…

  Me and my nan and grandad, Rita and John

  They loved coming to watch me sing. Here I am performing at the Frog & Nightgown pub on Old Kent Road in London.

  This is me singing at a fundraising event for Cancer Research.

  My mum and I when I was a Bluecoat in 1998. I was known as ‘Sammy’ back then.

  All aboard the Thompson Sapphire, c. 1998. I’m third from the back with an excited smile on my face.

  Here I am getting ‘Employee of the Month’ on board the Sapphire ship. It was a really proud moment.

  We had a great time performing on the Sapphire and wore some, erm, interesting outfits. I’m in the middle of the second row.

  Here I am dressed up for a ‘Pop Goes the 80s’ show. It was all about the big hair back then. I got through a lot of hairspray.

  I met Craig in 2002. Here we are looking happy and relaxed on holiday in Turkey.

  My mum holding Brooke, looking very happy! I can’t believe what a tiny little thing she was.

  Brooke with her daddy. He was in love from the second he saw her.

  Brooke and Tommy have always been close. Brooke loves looking after her little brother, and now Miley too.

  Brooke and Tommy having lots of fun in the park.

  Brooke and Tommy meet Father Christmas. Tommy looks full of Christmas cheer!

  Craig and I when I auditioned for The X Factor in 2007. I was terrified.

  My second audition for the 2013 edition of The X Factor…

  …and just a few months later I’m duetting with Nicole Scherzinger!

  The moment of truth. I was genuinely shocked to win.

  Celebrating with my mentor Sharon Osbourne. I was as happy for her as I was for me.

  My lovely Miley was born at 10:41am on the 10th September 2014.

  Brooke and Tommy are absolutely thrilled about having a new baby sister.

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  Copyright © Samantha Pearson, t/a Sam Bailey, 2014

  Text written by Jordan Paramor, 2014

  Text copyright © Blink Publishing, 2014

  All images courtesy of Samantha Pearson t/a Sam Bailey, except section two, pages 6-7 © FremantleMedia Ltd/Simco Ltd

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