Electric Light (Blair Dubh Trilogy #3)

by Heather Atkinson

  “He’s in surgery,” she replied quietly.

  “Will he make it?”

  Freya shrugged, looking the essence of misery.

  Nora sat beside her and took her hand. “And what about you?”

  “Bruises, damaged knee. I’ll be fine.”

  Nora was becoming concerned. Despite the trauma Freya had just endured and how worried she was for Craig, it still wasn’t normal. This was how she got when she was sinking into depression, when the urge for a drink was strong, an urge that would kill her if she gave into it. Too much damage had been done to her liver in the past by her alcohol abuse.

  “There’s something else, isn’t there? Tell me sweetheart,” she said gently.

  Nora was astonished by the ferocity in Freya’s green eyes, which glimmered eerily beneath the hospital lights.

  “Why didn’t you tell me Logan was my real father?”

  Shock turned Nora mute. Her mouth fell open and her jaw flapped uselessly.

  “Don’t bother telling me you don’t know because apparently the whole village does.”

  “I’m sorry, you’d been through so much. We all thought it for the best that you didn’t know.”

  “Did Logan kill my dad?”

  “We can’t know that for sure, but Pete thought he was responsible for sinking his boat. He could never prove it though so it went down as an accident.”

  “I had a right to know. Who the hell do you think you are?”

  “Freya…,” she said, attempting to take her hand.

  “Don’t touch me,” she said, throwing her hand off.

  “How did you find out?”

  “Graeme.”

  “How did he find out?”

  “Joanie. Apparently you all had one of your famous meetings in the pub and you decided to keep me in the dark. What right did you have to make that decision?”

  “We were only thinking of you, we were trying to protect you.”

  “Then why didn’t you stop Social Services taking me from my home or bring Logan to account for his crimes when he was alive? You’re a hypocrite Nora, just like the rest of them.”

  “Can we discuss this later? We’re here for Craig.”

  “Yes we are but I want nothing to do with you.”

  Exhausted physically and emotionally, Nora started to cry. She wasn’t ready for another fight. “Please, I need you. Craig’s going to need us both too.”

  “I don’t need a traitor like you. Have you any idea what you’ve done?” she yelled.

  Nora just stared back into her daughter-in-law’s angry face, not a clue what to say. She knew full well she was in the wrong but they’d all made a pact and she’d felt she couldn’t break it.

  “I can’t even look at you Nora, I’m afraid of what I’ll do. Don’t forget, my father was a serial killer,” Freya spat at her before slowing rolling herself away down the corridor, her bruised hands protesting at the pressure put on them by the wheels.

  Nora didn’t even try to go after her. Instead she sat back in the uncomfortable plastic seat for the duration, embarrassed when she realised PC Springer was standing a discreet distance away and had overheard everything.

  She watched Freya disappear through a door at the bottom of the corridor into the Relatives’ Room and desperately wanted to go to her, she felt so alone. What if her son and only child died on the operating table and Freya refused to let her see Petie again? She’d have no one. Nora buried her face in her hands and started to cry at the damage Blair Dubh had wrought on her family.

  She raised her head when she heard the rumble of something approaching and saw a trolley being rushed down the corridor by medical staff towards the doors of the surgical suites. When Nora realised it was Graeme she leapt up, ignoring her injured ankle, and proceeded to slap his bruised face.

  “Please Madam, stop it,” said one of the doctors. “You can’t assault our patients.”

  “This animal killed my friends and maybe my son and he’s destroyed my family,” she screamed, continuing to slap him. Graeme just groaned, barely conscious as his head was knocked from side to side.

  “Mrs Donaldson, you can’t do that,” said Springer, taking her by the shoulders and steering her back to the chairs, leaving the medical staff free to wheel Graeme through the double doors.

  “I suppose you’re going to arrest me for assault now, are you?” said Nora, glaring at her challengingly. “You may as well because if my son dies I’ll have nothing left on the outside anyway.”

  Springer sat beside her and sighed. “I didn’t see anything, okay?”

  “You’re not going to arrest me?” said Nora, surprised to realise she was disappointed. More drama would have taken her mind off her fears for the future, given her something else to focus on.

  “I don’t think that’s necessary,” she said kindly. “My name’s Melanie by the way. Can I get you anything? How about a nice hot cup of tea?”

  “Sounds lovely, thank you dear,” replied Nora, only half-listening.

  “She’ll get over it, once she’s calmed down,” said Springer, nodding in the direction Freya had gone.

  “You don’t know Freya. She really is one to hold a grudge.” She looked down the corridor and saw Freya poking her head out of the Relatives’ Room, drawn there by all the shouting. When Nora hauled herself to her feet on her crutches Freya ducked back inside, the slam of the door following.

  “She’s just upset about her husband,” said Springer. “She’ll come round, you’ll see.”

  Nora sank back into her seat and started to cry again, the events of the longest night of her life finally catching up with her and the only person she had to comfort her was a complete stranger. Melanie’s well-intentioned soothing words only made her feel worse.

  “While we wait why don’t I take your statement, then it’s one less thing for you to worry about?” said Melanie in her kind way once Nora’s tears had dried up.

  “If you must,” she sighed.

  Talking it through with someone who hadn’t been there actually helped and Nora felt herself growing calmer. By the end of her tale she was exhausted and they sat in silence while they waited for news of Craig. They both looked up and frowned when a large man with a huge beer gut, a big bushy beard and tattoos walked by, clearly looking for someone.

  “He looks trouble,” commented Melanie.

  “He used to be but he’s a teddy bear now,” replied Nora.

  Melanie was shocked. “You know him?”

  “He’s my daughter-in-law’s boss. He must be looking for her.”

  As they watched, Davey hesitated at the door to the Relatives’ Room, knocked then went inside. Nora hoped he’d talk some sense into Freya.

  “Oh hen,” said Davey when Freya looked up at him from her wheelchair, her lower lip wobbling.

  “He’s been shot Davey.”

  He sat beside her and enveloped her in his big, hairy arms. “I heard. How is he?”

  “He’s in surgery, they haven’t told me anything yet so I assume it’s going well. Do you know what happened?”

  “I’ve heard enough.” He indicated her leg. “Did you get shot too?”

  “No, Graeme hit me in the knee with the butt of the rifle.”

  “Fucking bastard. Is he deid?”

  “Unfortunately no even though I shot him.”

  Davey’s bushy eyebrows shot up. “I bet that felt good.”

  “It did but I didn’t kill him. I wish I had.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “I bloody do.”

  “You’re not a killer.”

  For a heartbeat she considered telling him what Graeme had told her about Logan being her real father, that murder was in her DNA, but she couldn’t bring herself to talk about it right then. The situation was just too prickly. Every time she thought about it she hurt all over, not just inside but outside too. Her entire body felt like one raw, open wound.

  “I nearly was,” she whispered.

  “
But you didn’t do it.”

  “It wasn’t for lack of trying. I wanted to Davey. I’m a monster.”

  He kissed the top of her head and hugged her and she sank into his warmth. “Now that’s enough silly talk. You’re just exhausted and upset. When you’ve had time to think you’ll realise the skinny little prick deserved everything he got. Craig’s going to be fine and soon you’ll be back at home with your wean, end of story, chapter closed on that bloody village.”

  Freya didn’t believe his words for a second, but she allowed herself to get some comfort from them.

  CHAPTER 27

  After hours of interminable waiting Nora was finally forced to concede that if she waited to use the bathroom any longer she was going to wet herself. She didn’t want to go, she was scared she’d miss out on an update on Craig’s progress, but needs must. Melanie had to help her shuffle down the corridor to the visitor toilets on her crutches then waited outside to help her shuffle back again. Nora hadn’t always been independent, when her husband had been alive she’d relied on him for everything, but she’d had no choice but to fend for herself after Pete had died. Now she prided herself on it and she found having to be helped everywhere demeaning.

  By the time they returned Craig was out of surgery and had been taken to Intensive Care. When they stopped by the Relative’s Room on the way, Freya had gone.

  “Are you okay if I leave you? I’m afraid I must get back to work,” said Melanie.

  Nora was reluctant to let her new friend go but it was unfair to keep her there any longer. “Of course. You must have so much to do.”

  “I’m afraid so.” She placed her card in her hand. “Give me a call when you’re ready to leave. We’re arranging emergency accommodation for everyone in the village, the whole place is a crime scene so you won’t be allowed back in just yet.”

  “To be honest, I’m glad. I never want to go back to that bloody village ever again.”

  Melanie gave her hand a gentle squeeze before walking away. Nora took a deep breath then opened the door into Intensive Care. She stood in the middle of the corridor, looking about blankly, not sure where she should go or who she should ask. A passing nurse took pity on her and, after explaining who she was, she was shown into Craig’s room.

  Freya was already there, sitting by Craig’s side in her wheelchair, gripping onto his hand. Her look was fierce when she saw Nora, who hovered in the doorway, the waves of dislike radiating off Freya almost causing her to turn and leave. But the sight of her son unconscious on the bed, a huge bandage covering his stomach, all the ugly, strange machines linked up to him propelled her into the room. She sat on the opposite side of the bed and took his other hand.

  “What did the doctor say?” Nora asked, her gaze riveted on Craig’s face. He looked so peaceful. When her reply was silence she forced herself to look Freya in the eye. “What did they say Freya?” she said, voice determined.

  “He made it through the surgery.”

  “Yes, I can see that. What’s the prognosis?” she snapped. Faced by what had been done to her boy her fight was returning.

  For a moment it seemed as though Freya wasn’t going to tell her, then she sighed and said, “he’s been really lucky. The bullet entered the side of his abdomen and passed through the muscles, missing the abdominal cavity altogether. Graeme was quite side-on to him when he fired, so I guess that explains it. But he’s lost a lot of blood. That’s the most dangerous thing.”

  “He’s going to be alright then?”

  “Yes.”

  Nora looked up sharply. It seemed Freya was trying to convince herself more than her.

  “So, we just wait for him to wake up?”

  Freya nodded, refusing to look at Nora, gently sliding her fingers through Craig’s own.

  “Will he?”

  “I don’t know Nora,” she said bad-temperedly.

  “Don’t speak to me like that.”

  “You expect me to be nice after what you’ve done?”

  “I made a promise years ago that I wouldn’t say a word about your real father and I decided it would be best to stick to it.”

  “Best for who?”

  “Weren’t you happier thinking John Macalister was your real father?”

  Freya’s eyes flickered.

  “What good would it have done?” pressed Nora. “You hated Logan.”

  “I had a right to know. This was none of your business or anyone else’s in that village. It’s my life, not yours,” she said, eyes filling with tears, although those same eyes still burned with rage. “People have always tried to take control of my life and it’s still happening.”

  “I’m not trying to control you, none of us are. We were only trying to protect you.”

  “Protect me?” she said cynically. “So I get to hear about it from a mass murderer instead. Yeah, nice job.”

  “I mean it. I love you Freya, I only want the best for you.”

  “Rubbish. I’m just a disappointment to you.”

  “What?” said Nora, surprised.

  “I know you didn’t want me for your son, a woman so damaged and with so many issues. Then I only give you one grandchild. You imagined some fertile woman spitting kids out like a baby factory who would stay at home and run round after your son like he was another child. Well life’s full of disappointment, I’ve learnt that the hard way so you just have to deal with the fact that I’m not the perfect daughter-in-law.”

  Nora was stunned, she’d no idea Freya felt like that. “Oh I see, so that’s what this is really about.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Yes you’re angry at me for keeping the truth about Logan from you, but in your heart I think you understand why I did it and you’re even relieved about it. You’re using it as an excuse to get back at me because you think I think badly of you.”

  “Because you do.”

  “No I don’t. I admit I was upset about not getting to see Petie as often as I would have liked but I meant it when I said I love you. You’re my family. This isn’t about me or even Logan. It’s about you.”

  Freya’s eyes gleamed bright green with warning. “What?”

  “Craig was right. You don’t believe you’re good enough for anyone so you’re using this an excuse to distance yourself from me.”

  “Wrong Nora. I’m mad at you for keeping the truth from me.”

  “You were perfectly happy before thinking John was your dad.”

  “He is my dad and he always will be.”

  “Even though you can’t even remember him? You were only wee when he died.”

  “So? He still exists in my head, I’ve built up a picture of him and if he didn’t live up to that then I don’t care. He gave me his name and he loved my mum. He’s my dad,” she said, voice breaking.

  “That’s a wonderful way of looking at it. But don’t you see, by letting this get in the way of our relationship you’re letting Logan win. He wanted to destroy you and your hate and anger will do that for him.” She decided to press on when Freya started to look unsure of herself. “You’ve come so far and you’ve finally got the family you’ve always wanted. Don’t let him spoil it.”

  “So you’re saying I should just forget all about it?” she frowned.

  “No, that would be impossible. I’m just saying don’t hate me for it. I was only trying to protect you.”

  Freya snorted derisively and turned her attention back to Craig, holding his hand to her face and kissing his fingers.

  Nora could see how much Freya loved her son, she’d always been able to see it. Right from being little children they’d always been close and their ending up together hadn’t really surprised her. But Freya didn’t realise how much she loved her too. “You remember just after your mother died and we took you in, before Social Services forced you to live with your aunt and uncle in Glasgow?”

  Freya nodded, refusing to take her eyes off Craig.

  “You were so scared and lost. I loved you like a
daughter then, just like I do now.”

  Freya recalled a younger Nora cradling her as she sobbed into her chest while reliving her mother’s horrific death, Nora hurrying to her in the middle of the night when she woke screaming from another nightmare and soothing her with gentle words. Freya swallowed the lump in her throat and looked down at the floor.

  Nora decided to leave it at that, for now. Let her think on that for a while. The silence they sat in together wasn’t exactly friendly but it wasn’t full of anger like it had been earlier. Nevertheless, it was still a relief when Steve entered the room. Freya gently laid Craig’s hand down on the bed then shot up out of the wheelchair to hug him, balancing on her good leg.

  “How are you?” he said, holding her tightly.

  “I’m fine. He’s not woken up yet,” she whispered.

  “He will. Sit back down,” he said softly. “That leg must be sore.”

  He helped her slump back into the wheelchair and stood staring down at Craig.

  “How’s Gary?” said Nora.

  “He’s still in surgery but they’re optimistic. He was lucky the bullet stayed in, it looks like it saved his life and stopped him bleeding out.”

  “That’s really good news,” said Nora. “And how are you feeling?”

  “Oh I’ll be alright,” he replied, looking like he’d never enjoy a decent night’s sleep again.

  “Have you spoken to your fiancée?”

  “Yeah, she was waiting for me at the police cordon. I don’t think I’ve ever been so pleased to see someone.”

  “Why don’t you go home and get some sleep? You’re dead on your feet,” said Nora.

  “I can’t rest, not until I know Gary and the Sarge are going to be okay.”

  “We can call you if there’s any news,” offered Freya.

  “Thanks but it wouldn’t be right me at home sleeping when they’re here, like this,” he said quietly, gesturing to Craig.

  “He’s going to be alright,” said Freya with that same determination.

  “Oh, before I forget, some DS from the Sarge’s station, Eric something, wanted me to let you know he’d be by tomorrow to visit,” he yawned, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. “He’s been roped into the investigation by DCI Armstrong but he asked me to give you his love.”