Candle in the Wind

by Sally Wentworth

  'Plenty of time for that. We'd better find somewhere to stay first.'

  He seemed to know his way about and led her into a side street behind the market. Sam had little time to look about her as he hurried her along the congested street, but she saw that it had a shabby appearance with old brick houses, high curbs and muddy gutters. The people who crowded the street were a mixture of races, with African and Carib being the most predominant, although there were also plenty of European faces amongst them. The crowds thinned out a little towards the end of the street and Mike led her to a seedy-looking doorway between two shops which had the word 'Hotel' in peeling letters over it.

  Sam hung back, but he took her arm and led her firmly through the doorway. The hallway was dark after the bright sunlight and it took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust, but then she saw that there was a small desk with a bell on it that Mike rang. After a few minutes a very fat native woman came waddling through a bead curtain at the end of the hall and greeted them with a beaming smile.

  Before she could speak, Mike spoke to her quickly in the native patois and the woman threw up her hands and exclaimed. Then she turned to Sam with her warm smile and said, 'Don't you worry none, child, Big Annie will take care of you and look after you as if you was one of my own kin. Now you tome along with me and I'll show you to a real nice room.'

  She led the way up two flights of stairs, puffing and blowing, but talking all the time, and unlocked a door at the back of the building. Sam found herself in a largish room with a ceiling that sloped down at one side to a long, low window. The shutters were closed now against the sun, but when Sam pushed them open she found that the room overlooked the left-hand side of the harbour where there was still a lot of bustle going on outside, but where it was relatively quiet after the docks and fishing wharves. When she turned back into the room she was pleased and surprised to find that it was neat and clean, with a white-painted wardrobe and dressing table and a big double bed with an ornate brass headrail. Sam flushed slightly at the sight of the bed and then felt a flare of sexuality at the thought of sharing it with Mike.

  He was talking to Big Annie again, their heads close together in earnest conversation and Sam turned back to the window, drawn to the scene outside like a magnet. How she looked forward to exploring the town; to becoming a part of that busy, noisy throng in the street below.

  As soon as Big Annie left them alone she turned to Mike excitedly. 'Let's go out, shall we? I'm longing to explore. Do you know the town well?’ What are the best places to see?'

  He looked at her indulgently. 'You're as excited as a kid on her first visit to town!' Then he frowned. 'But I suppose that's what it is for you since you lost your memory.' His face still serious, he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her down beside him. 'Sam, Big Annie is fixing us some food and then I have to go out— alone.' He held up a hand to stop her protest and went on, 'All the money we have is what I had in my wallet when the Venturer went down. I have to arrange for some funds to be transferred here and also for new passports for us. Then there's the insurance company to be informed so that I can buy another boat. All that's going to take time and I'll be able to manage it much better alone.' He glanced ruefully down at his ragged and torn jeans. 'And I suppose the first priority will be some decent clothes.'

  'But why can't I come with you? I can wait outside while you're seeing to all that.'

  'No!' His voice was sharp and decisive. 'I want you to promise me that you'll stay in this room until I get back. I don't want you wandering the streets alone, do you understand, Sam?'

  For a moment her lips pouted mutinously, but then Sam remembered the fright she'd got on the schooner and nodded. 'All right, I promise. But you will take me out to see the town later?'

  'Yes, but I don't know how long I'll be.' He glanced down at his wrist and gave a little sound of annoyance.

  'Hell, I keep forgetting.'

  'Forgetting what?' Sam saw a white band of skin on his wrist and exclaimed, 'Your watch! What happened to it?'

  Mike gave a shrug. 'I gave it to the captain of the schooner to pay for our passage. It was the price we agreed.'

  Sam was indignant. 'You paid him even though they came after us with a gun?'

  'If I hadn't he'd have told about finding us, and I don't want to become an object of curiosity to the whole island with our names in the newspaper and all that rubbish.'

  A knock came at the door and he got up to open it for Big Annie who waddled in carrying a loaded tray. The most delicious smells wafted to Sam's nostrils and she realised that they hadn't eaten since the previous evening. The native woman sat with them while they ate, asking questions about the sinking of Mike's boat and exclaiming with amazement at the loss of Sam's memory, asking over and over again as if she simply couldn't believe it, 'And you don't remember a thing? Not nothing at all?'

  When they'd finished eating she produced a shirt for Mike to wear which was too small for his big frame but would have to do for the time being, and he left the two women alone.

  'You seem to know Mike well?' Sam said curiously.

  Big Annie nodded. 'I've known him for nearly two years, I reckon. My eldest boy, Abe, he got in a heap of trouble one time and Mike took him off the island in his boat until everything died down and it was safe for him to come back. I guess I'll always be grateful to him for that.' The older woman looked at her. 'He's a good friend to have, your man.'

  She talked for a little longer and then brought up some crisp white towels and showed Sam where the bathroom was. The water heater was antiquated to say the least, but it gushed out gallons of lovely hot water and Sam lay back and luxuriated in it for ages, washing her hair and soaping herself with a tablet that smelt of lily of the Valley, a long way from the Caribbean. The talcum powder had an entirely different scent, but she patted it on liberally anyway, thoroughly enjoying herself, and when she got back to their room she found that Mike had been back in her absence and left her a parcel containing a matching brush and comb. He must have also bought himself some new clothes because his jeans and the shirt he'd worn were lying over the back of a chair.

  Opening the shutters again, Sam sat with her back to the window and let the sun dry her hair, using the hairbrush to flick up the ends, and then going to check the effect in the dressing-table mirror. It looked okay, but she didn't think she'd ever get used to this wide- eyed stranger who stared back at her from the mirror. She was wearing a bath towel wrapped round her sarong-fashion, and she let this fall to look at herself properly. Walking through the streets and seeing other women had shown her that she was tall, and now, as she turned in front of the mirror and squirmed to see her back view, she began to realise just why Mike took such delight in her body with its young, firm slenderness and softly rounded curves, the only flaw she could see was a small scar on the back of her left leg. The thought of Mike touching her made her flush and she hastily wrapped the towel round herself again and went back to the window to see if she could see him coming, but after an hour or so she began to feel tired and went to lie on the bed.

  She was still fast asleep when Mike came back and he quietly slipped out of his outer clothes and lay down beside her. Sam subconsciously snuggled up to him and he gave a little grin as he smelt the soap and talc she'd used. His arm went protectively over her and then he, too, fell asleep.

  When Sam, awoke she realised with disappointment that it was nearly dark, but perhaps it still wasn't too late to go out. Sitting up, she disturbed Mike, who opened his eyes and looked at her.

  'You smell like a flower garden,' he commented.

  'Do you like it?'

  'No, I prefer your natural smell.' He put his hand on the back of her neck and drew her down to kiss her.

  'It doesn't seem to be putting you off,' Sam pointed out when she was at last able to raise her head.

  He grinned. 'Nothing could put me off you. I'm hooked on you, woman, didn't you know?' And he tried to pull her down to kiss her again.

 
; But Sam resisted. 'Mike, I'm hungry, and you said we could go out.'

  'Mm, later.' He began to unwrap her towel.

  Sam tried to keep it round her. 'No, Mike, you promised.' But his hands somehow got inside and she gave a gasp as he found her breasts. Feebly she tried to resist. 'No, not now, I…' And then, as he began to caress her, 'Oh, Mike, love me… love me…' And it was a considerable time before she thought of anything but the need to be a part of him.

  When they did finally dress and go out, Mike took her only a few yards along the street to a small restaurant where they sat in a shadowed alcove at the back of the room, which was so dimly lit that they could hardly see the faces of the other patrons, and were completely screened off when Mike let a curtain fall across the opening.

  'It's the custom,' he said casually as he saw her disappointed look. 'And besides, I want to talk to you.'

  A black waitress took their order and brought them glasses of sangaree to drink while they waited. Sam raised her eyebrows at the sight of the half-pint tumbler then sipped experimentally.

  'It tastes good. What is it?'

  'Sangaree? It's basically a wine glass of sherry or madeira topped up with soda-water with a little syrup and a teaspoonful of Cacao added.'

  Although he'd said he wanted to talk to her, Mike seemed in no hurry to do so and it wasn't until they'd finished the meal of steamed flying fish followed by guava cheese and he was toying with the last of the drink in his glass that he began to tell her of his afternoon's activities.

  'It will take a few days to transfer some money here, I'm afraid, and until then we'll have to go easy. Big Annie won't push us for payment of course, but we'll have to save what cash we have for food and essentials.'

  'Do essentials include some new clothes for me?' Sam asked hopefully.

  'I think we can run to that,' he smiled. 'As long as you stick to something from the market.'

  'Is that where you got yours?' she asked, looking at the lightweight tan jacket and trousers he was wearing.

  'Yes. The cut isn't exactly Savile Row, but they'll do for the time being.' He hesitated and then went on, 'It will take some time for the insurance claim for the Venturer to come through, so I've decided not to wait for it but to go ahead and buy another boat here.'

  'Can you afford to do that?'

  He nodded. 'It won't be custom-built, of course, and I shall probably only keep it until I can replace it with something I like better, but at least it will get us off this island.'

  Sam looked at him in puzzlement. 'But! don't understand. Why do you want to leave here so soon? This looks like a lovely place. Couldn't we stay here for a while, Mike, please?'

  He shook his head decisively. 'No, no longer than we have to.' Then more gently, 'I suppose I'm like all seamen, not happy unless they've got a deck under their feet. And I want to take you to England so that you can consult a specialist about your amnesia. Which brings me to the next thing I have to tell you. I went to enquire about replacing our passports, but although I was able to prove my identity from the things I had in my wallet, there was nothing, of course, to say who you we're. I don't know where you were born, so we can't send for a copy of your birth certificate, and the certificate of our marriage went down with the Venturer, so rather than go to all the trouble and delay of sending to Barbados for a copy, I'm told it will be much simpler if we go through another marriage ceremony here. Then we can use that document to prove you exist and have you put on my passport.'

  'Get married again?' Sam looked at him in astonishment.

  'That's about it. I've arranged for the ceremony to take place in three days' time—that's the earliest you can do it, evidently.' He gave a mock frown. 'But it will be purely a formality, so don't get any ideas about having a white dress and flowers again.'

  'Is that what we had last time? I wish I could remember it.'

  His hand covered hers, warm and reassuring, and then he raised it to his lips and gently kissed her fingers. His eyes looked into hers and he said softly, 'I think it's time we went home to bed.'

  Sam looked at him innocently. 'But I'm not tired.'

  He grinned as he pushed back his chair and helped her to her feet. 'Nor am I.'

  Any hopes Sam had of exploring St Vincent seemed always to be dashed; either Mike had heard of a boat he wanted to look at or he had a business appointment, and when he did take her to the market he made her put on a headscarf and a pair of sunglasses that he bought for her, telling her that all the women covered their heads. That the native women did seemed to be true, for they all wore straw hats or turbans under the huge baskets they carried on their heads, but Sam saw several European women, tourists mostly, without any head covering. But when she pointed this out to Mike he merely made a terse retort and told her to hurry up and choose what she wanted. He seemed in a great rush and hardly waited for her to choose an ethnic- print dress and a pair of sandals before hurrying her out of the market and back towards the hotel.

  'But I need new underclothes,' Sam protested, and he reluctantly turned aside to find the right shop and waited impatiently while she picked out what she wanted.

  Once back in their hotel room, Sam turned on him angrily. 'Mike, what is it? You make me feel like a criminal, hurrying me through the streets like that. And don't tell me it's because you're afraid I might be kidnapped or something, because I don't believe it. I saw several white women out by themselves today.'

  Mike looked at her angry face and then put his hands on her shoulders. 'Okay, simmer down. It's just that I'm not exactly popular with the authorities here. I took Big Annie's son out from under their noses when they wanted to put him in prison, and although it was eventually proved that he hadn't committed the crime he'd been accused of, they weren't any too pleased with me and I was told in no uncertain terms never to show my face here again. That's why I didn't want to come here.'

  'But why do I have to stay hidden away?'

  'Because if you were spotted as a stranger and asked for your papers you wouldn't be able to produce any, and if I came forward to claim you they'd kick me off the island straight away—send me back to England probably, as I'm a British subject—and you they'd either put in custody until they could prove your identity or else send you back to Barbados.'

  Sam stared at him in growing apprehension. 'They'd separate us?'

  'I'm afraid so. Men in authority usually have long memories, you see, and they don't like people taking the law into their own hands. They'd hurt me if they could.'

  'But what if you're recognised when you're in the town?' Sam's voice was sharp with fear.

  'There's not much chance of that with this beard. And I know the town well, there's always somewhere to slip into if I think there's any danger.'

  'But our passports? Surely the authorities must know you've applied to replace them?'

  Shaking his head, Mike said, 'No, I've done everything through the British Consulate and they're discretion itself. And once we've been through the marriage ceremony and got a certificate we'll be quite safe, they can't possibly separate us then.'

  But his explanation so frightened Sam that she lived in fear every time he went out and was reluctant to leave the hotel even to go to the nearby restaurant to eat. Even though no one paid them too much attention she was always, immensely relieved when they got safely back to their room and she could only long for the three days to pass quickly so that at least half of their worries would disappear. She found that she was looking forward to the wedding ceremony; even though it was only a formality as Mike said, and there would be no bridal gown and flowers, she would at least have it to remember. She had a dress rehearsal when Mike was out looking at a boat, to try and take her mind off her anxiety for him, and felt far more feminine in the full-skirted dress. The sandals she had already tried on, but then she realised that she had forgotten to buy a handbag. She would have to ask Mike to get her one the next time he went out.

  She waited, her fears increasing, until at last he came
back and then she ran to hold him tight, overwhelmingly glad that he was still free.

  'I've agreed to a deal on a boat,' he told her. 'It's an oldish vessel, but she's seaworthy enough. I. have to arrange for an expert to go over the engines, but once that's done and our money and passports come through we can leave here.'

  They celebrated with a bottle of wine with their evening meal and afterwards, when they lay together in the big bed, their passion for the moment satiated, Sam said softly, 'Mike, tell me about our real wedding. Where was it?'

  He was silent for a long moment, then he said, 'It was in an old stone church in the north of Barbados that was built by Jacobite prisoners who were transported there after the battle of Culloden. It's a lonely place, but it has a heartcatching view of the shore and the sea, and it's very small, only big enough for fifty people at the most. The day we were married the sun shone through the leaded windows and made patterns on the old, worn stones of the floor. It shone on the flowers I'd filled the place with, and it shone on you as you walked down the aisle alone when you came to me.' His voice grew husky. 'You looked lovely, so very lovely, in a simple white dress with flowers in your hair. You were afraid, and yet there was a certainty and radiance about you that shone out of your face, and put the feeble rays of the sun to shame.'

  They both lay silently for a moment and then he picked up her left hand and began to play with her ringless fingers. 'I shall have to buy you another ring. I had to guess the size of the first one and it was too big for you; it must have come off when the boat went down.'

  'Oh, Mike!' She moved into his arms and he held her tightly, his face buried in her hair. 'Oh, Mike, if only the boat hadn't sunk. If only I could remember!' And she stayed locked in the circle of his strength and love, until she fell asleep.

  The next morning Mike hurriedly did some shopping and brought the things back to the hotel and then went out again to oversee the inspection of the engines on the boat he'd chosen. Sam went down to join Big Annie in her spotless kitchen and have a lesson in preparing a West Indian dish called pudding and souse which was made from sweet potatoes and pumpkin seasoned with herbs. It helped to take her mind off her fear that Mike might be recognised, but at least she had the comfort of knowing that in little more than twenty-four hours now they would have the all- important marriage certificate.