Seizures: A Tale of the Zombie Apocalypse

by Sparrow Black

  Usually, after a dinner like that I’d throw myself down on the couch and watch a parade until my gluttonous brain checked out for a nap, but today Maggie wanted outside first. Ginny offered to take her, but I didn’t want her outside by herself. Kids do weird things sometimes, like try to pet zombies or something, so I didn’t want her out there. Okay, maybe they don’t do that, but I do know they get strange ideas about what’s safe and what’s not so I took Maggie out for her potty-time. She’d been out several times, but I’d kept watch on her from the kitchen window. What? It’s daylight out now, she can go out there on her own for a little bit. I went with her this time though, I probably needed the walk, looking down at my overly full belly.

  Maggie had discovered most of what there was to learn about the backyard, I guess, and started to sniff her way to the front. As she wandered up towards the gate I stopped dead in my tracks. Although the gate looked like it was closed it wasn’t. It looked like someone had come through and pulled the gate to but not actually shut it. And I know I locked it last night.

  I’d specifically checked to make sure it had been locked because Ginny was here. I hadn’t really thought about what had happened in the middle of the night, I’d pretty much forgotten it in the excitement of getting dinner prepared this morning ,but now I was right back there. Someone had been here and left the gate open. That meant it was someone who could do fiddly-things with their fingers. This wasn’t a zombie, surely? Did they still have that much fine-motor control? It was probably whoever I’d seen up at the courthouse, but that didn’t tell me a lot.

  Obviously, whoever it was hadn’t come in the house, but Maggie had growled last night. She knew they were out there, but I didn’t. What did they want? Now feeling like I was being watched I looked around the street outside the gate. Closing it and locking it I was glad there were no zombies out today.

  They could have gotten in, just walked, oh alright shuffled, in and we wouldn’t have known inside. Trying to figure out how to secure the gate I walked back into the house. I had a chain and padlock somewhere, I’m sure. But I was still afraid. Would that keep the person out? Wouldn’t they just climb over the fence? Should we leave? Questions were firing through my mind, questions I couldn’t answer and that mixed with the fear was stressing me out.

  I’d grown too complacent; I thought I was safe in my house behind my fence. I also thought I was the only one left in this town so it hadn’t really occurred to me that the living might be a problem too. And then there was Ginny. I should have known better than to think I was alone, shouldn’t I? Time to, finally, batten down the hatches.

  “What do you want to do now? Should we leave? Find somewhere safer with kids and other grownups? What do you think hun?”

  I asked the questions as I threaded the chain through the fence and the gate, securing the two tightly together with an assertive click of the padlock. Turning to look at Ginny I saw her looking up the street. She’d been playing with Maggie, chasing her around the trees, through the unraked mountains of leaves, laughing, but had quieted down. I thought she’d just calmed down, but now I saw that wasn’t the case. And I’m pretty certain my jaw was hanging down to my chest.

  Coming up the road from the direction of the grocery store, was a giant sheep, walking on two legs. I blinked because I had to be hallucinating. Maybe this was a warning for a seizure? Did I feel seizury? No, but who knew what your brain can do to you. Well, I do, but that’s beside the point. Then I remembered Ginny had seen it too and as my vision refocused I realized it was a tall, male zombie dressed in a sheep-inspired onesie. Most of the costume had turned gore-colored with a few swipes of orange from the clay dirt we call ground in North Carolina, but it still had the ears and tail that proclaimed it a fluffy, wooly sheep. Oh dear. Zombie of the Lambs. Great.

  “Ginny, let’s go back inside.” I said and tried to shepherd her back into the house. Yes, I did just use the word shepherd.

  I was concerned Maggie would try to chase the zombie sheep, but oddly she just tucked her tail between her legs and followed us back inside. What was that about? Perhaps she’s figured out already that barking just drew more of them? Smart dog.

  Walking through the back door I continued until I was at the front of the house where I could watch the farce that was playing out in the street from the window there. The other zombies had all disappeared so there was just this one left. Trudging up the road, I assumed the zombie was going to keep going, and we’d be able to go back outside soon. Yes, I was avoiding doing the dishes, thank you very much, stop reminding me!

  And then my heart froze as the zombie stopped directly in front of the house, in front of the window I was peering through, turned, and let out a piercing wail of anger.

  “Holy cow! Ginny, hide baby, hide!” I’m not sure why I was panicking but I knew this couldn’t be good. Following the sounds of Ginny’s footsteps I met her at the stairwell and we both ran up to my bedroom. I shoved her in a closet and went to the window. The zombie was just standing there, staring at the house. Not making another sound, not doing anything. Just standing there staring. Oh man, what’s coming now?

  We’re in serious trouble here. It’s been two hours since Ginny first spotted the sheep zombie and there were at least 100 zombies out there now. All just standing and staring at the house. It was as if they were waiting for something, but I have no clue what. As the numbers increased Ginny and I had prepared to leave. I was going to have to take one of the cars, whether I wanted to or not. They were parked at the back of the house and luckily the gate for the cars was electronic. I was worried it wouldn’t spring open in time for us to get out before the zombies came through, but we’d have to take that chance. We couldn’t stay here. No sireee Bob-George, not staying here. I wasn’t sure where to go, but I guess that depended on how the roads were further out.

  Ginny and I trudged back and forth between the house, taking bags of blankets, clothes, the little food we had left, water, a small portable grill, hey warm food is good food, and matches with us. We even took an extra blanket for Maggie and her food out with us. Finally, I took my laptop, cellphone, and the chargers with me. I could charge them through the car’s power outlets. Ginny could play games on them if nothing else.

  Looking around my house I wondered what else we might need, picking up tooth brushes, hair brushes, all of my medicines, and other things as I saw them. Is this the last time I’d see the house? Would things ever be safe enough again? What else was going to happen? So many questions, so few answers! Picking up a picture of my family on our last family vacation I put it in the bag I was collecting things in, and walked out of the house.

  “You ready Ginny? Let’s get Maggie in the car and get out of Dodge.” I said.

  “But we aren’t in Dodge, Madeline, we’re in Lincolnton.” Ginny said with a confused look.

  “It’s just an expression baby; it means let’s get out of this place!” I said with a smile.

  I buckled up and turned the key in the ignition. Let’s cross our fingers I can do this.

  Looking up my jaw dropped again. Standing on the top of the gate was the zombie sheep. And he was looking at Ginny and I. Then he spoke. Seriously, he spoke!

  “Dinner time boys and girls!”

  <><>

  I guess you’re wondering how we got out of that one aren’t you? Well, we haven’t yet so if you have any suggestions speak up? NO? Nothing? Nobody has any ideas, at all? Then we’ll go with my one and only.

  “Ginny, hold on baby, Maggie, well, you just sit there in the floor dearie.”

  I shifted the automatic transmission into what I assumed was “go”, reached across Ginny to make sure her door was locked and to hold her against the seat, floored the gas pedal of the 1977 Chevy Nova, shut my eyes, and drove my foot down on the gas pedal. The car tires squealed, the engine roared, and finally, finally (!!) we were off! I can only imagine what a fun-ride picture of me we would look like right now, eyes sealed shut, mouth wide open in a s
cream, arms locked tight. Are we through yet?

  Fighting the urge to hit the brake I kept the pedal down to the floor as we crashed through the gate, which somehow swung open rather than flying forward or going under the car, and as we passed the gate posts I opened my eyes to see the Zombie of the Lambs flying backwards, out of our way, and the other zombies behind the gate started to either move out of the way or, oh god I’m going to be sick, I’ve just run someone over!

  Well, is it actually a person anymore? Ack, no time for philosophical debates, where are we going? Turn left, turn left, let’s see what’s out there now! This is actually the first time I’ve ever driven a car, forgive me for not using the turn signal, running the redlight that wasn’t working, and driving in the middle of the road! Oh no, how do I get out of this weird roundabout going around the court house? Ya know what, I’m thinking on my second round around the roundabout, there’s nobody coming, nobody behind me, I’m just gonna zoom off to the right there and hope I don’t run down any fire hydrants, parking meters, or buildings.

  As I steered the car to the right I looked over to check on Ginny. She was curled up in a ball in her seat with her hands over her head, silently crying. I hadn’t even thought to check on the poor kid! I’m new at this okay, and I’ve just had several traumatic events, I’m not perfect!

  “Ginny, Ginny-baby, are you alright darlin’?” I asked as I pulled her hands away from her head.

  Her head popped up and, rather than crying, I saw Ginny was laughing. Laughing I tell you!

  “Do you always talk to yourself so much Madeline?” Ginny asked through her giggles.

  “I don’t talk to myself, I never talk to myself!” I spared her a reproachful glance before looking back at the road, knowing I had to make a turn soon.

  “Yes, yes you do. And no I won’t sue you, and I forgive you for running through the redlight!”

  Oh dear, maybe I do talk to myself out loud, but that doesn’t mean I’m talking to myself. Does it? Is that what I’m doing? Oh well, it probably comes from being alone so much lately.

  “Well, that’s a good thing then, if you forgive me that is. And you’re welcome for the laugh. Anywhere you want to go in particular?” I’d love to go to Taco Bell myself, but I knew that was likely futile.

  Ginny just shook her head no so I kept driving through several dead lights and then turned to the right again, thinking maybe I should go check on Lena. Passing a now dead nursing home I pushed Ginny’s head away from the view and slowed down as I passed between a church and the nursing home. Nailed to a sign was a now very dead woman. Painted over her head, in what I could only assume was her own blood, were the words “you cheated us, you stole from us, you abused us, you mistreated your staff, and were more concerned with profits than taking care of us. You aren’t even worth eating!”

  I was horrified, but wondered if perhaps she deserved her fate, reading the words that had been painted on the sign. I suppose it couldn’t all be giggles and weird zombies in lamb outfits. Reality had to set in eventually and this was about as set in as a bucket of cold energy drink over the head. Had actual people written that or the zombies? Because if it was the zombies this sign meant they were capable of higher thought, even more than Zombie of the Lambs speaking did. I think we’re in the poo…

  Turning down the road to the golf course I wondered what I’d find at Lena’s. I haven’t heard a peep from her in a week so I was kind of terrified of what was waiting ahead. Pulling into her gravel driveway and driving the half-mile distance to her house was kind of encouraging, I didn’t see any dead bodies, no signs of violence, and no zombies. But perhaps that meant the people were still trapped in their houses? Or maybe all of the zombies had gathered elsewhere? The car slowed down as I thought, putting less pressure on the pedal the deeper my thoughts went.

  “Madeline, we don’t know what we’re going to find, but if you slow down much more we’ll never get there to find out.”

  I turned to Ginny and thought again of how smart she was. Running my finger along her sun dappled chin I smiled at her.

  “I was doing it again huh? Well, let’s get there then and see what our future holds, shall we?” And with that I sped up the ancient car my father had bought while in college and left to me, even though I couldn’t drive. Even then he hoped that there’d be a cure or some medicine that would allow me to live a normal life. He had hope his baby girl would one day be able to drive without worry or danger of having a seizure. I really missed him. Oh dear, was I talking out loud again? I looked around, but Ginny was staring ahead as we drove along, lifeless autumn leaves blowing behind us like cheering fans, pushing us to win the race to get to Lena’s.

  Pulling up into the garage I noticed her car was present, her doors were shut, and nothing seemed out of place. With the fingers on my left hand crossed I pushed the lever until the car was in “P” with my right hand, turned the car off, and opened the door. Knowing we’d likely lost any element of surprise with the noise from the muffler on the car, one of those glass-pack things I think I’d heard my dad say one time, I thought we might still be able to sneak around if Lena had turned into a zombie or if anything else had gone wrong. Should I knock on the door or sneak in? Now that we’d got here I was unsure of what to do. I did know one thing, however.

  “Ginny, you stay here for now sweetie; let me check out what’s going on. If it’s okay I’ll come and get you, alright?”

  “Okay Madeline, but hurry please, I don’t want to be out here on my own!”

  I squeezed her hand, stepped out of the car, and stepped into a quiet winter day. On the breeze I could smell cold air and the scent of the multitude of trees around the house. There was no stench of decay, only the smell of the land. That’s a good sign, right? This might be worse than trying to force myself to go outside. What if she’s dead?

  Lena has been my friend since kindergarten. She’d always been a part of my life and was there for me when my parents died. She held my hand at their funeral and stayed with me for weeks as I learned to cope with my new world. Even more than my family and the adults sent around to ensure I was alright Lena got me through the worst of it with her beaming smile, glittering blue eyes, and her button nose. She didn’t let me wallow, but she let me grieve. And she helped take care of me by taking me wherever I needed to go, never complaining, never asking for payment, just turning each appointment and outing into an adventure of fun. We did “Road Trip!” just going to the grocery store. Lena was awesomeness and I don’t know what I’ll do if she’s in there dead, or worse.

  Peeking into the windows didn’t reveal much, the one story farmhouse was neat and tidy, as was usual for Lena, and everything looked fine. I even peeked into her bedroom, feeling like a peeping Tom. But there was nothing there. Maybe she wasn’t in there. Then where was she?

  Not feeling so anxious now I walked to the front door and tentatively opened it. No smells greeted me, nothing noxious or gross, just the smell of the plug in air fresheners Lena loved. The power was still on here too. Nothing in the all-white living room seemed out of place, no tell-tale signs of blood, nothing. The kitchen looked like she’d just cleaned it. There were no notes on the counter, nothing to reveal her whereabouts. Her car keys were where they were supposed to be. No signs of her, at all.

  Walking through the bedroom I noticed a pile of clothes on the bed, as though she’d stripped off and left her clothes where she threw them. Okay, that in itself wasn’t revealing, but it was a clue to something. I just wasn’t sure what. The door to her private bathroom was closed and I wondered if she was in there. It’s the only room that has no window to peek through so maybe she was.

  Resting my head against the door I listened intently, straining my ears to pick up any sound through the obstruction. I thought I could hear water sluicing around but wasn’t sure. Maybe she’d fallen ill and decided to take a bath? Was there a zombie Lena, naked, cold and dripping, and rotting beyond the door? Would she jump out of the bath and chew
my face off the moment I opened the door? Oh no, I can’t open the door, I don’t want to know! I’ll just check the closet first!

  And surprising even myself, I opened the door. I jumped back as I did, waiting for an attack, but found nothing. The bath tub was full of steaming water, but Lena wasn’t in it. Okay, this is weird. The fact that the water is steaming means she’s in here somewhere. But where?

  Oh right, the closet! I hadn’t called out when I opened the door; I’d snuck in fearing she might have turned. I bet she heard me and hid, fearing I was a zombie or some other foul intruder!

  Throwing open the closet door I heard a scream from behind me and turned around, only to fly back into the closet as a body launched at me.

  “You won’t eat my face, you won’t eat my face!” Lena screamed as she pelted me with her little fists. Using a move I’d learned in a self-defense class I flipped her over onto her back and screamed her name.

  “Lena, chill out dude, it’s me! It’s Madeline, stop hitting me you cow!” I grinned down at the tiny little storm trying to defend herself from me. Neither of us was much over five feet tall, but Lena was also petite, with fine slim bones and delicate features.

  I held her arms until she calmed down and I saw realization dawning on her face. Brushing her dark hair out of her light blue eyes, I smiled down at her.

  “It’s okay Lena, it’s only me honey!” I said as she squealed and hugged me close.

  “Oh my god, Madeline, you’re okay! Oh thank goodness, you’re okay!” I smiled and breathed in the smell of clean hair, still damp from the washing she’d given it. Mmmm, Pantene. Always a good choice.

  “But Madeline, how’d you get here? Is somebody with you?” She looked behind my shoulder and back at me when she didn’t see anyone.

  Ginny and Maggie! I have to get Ginny and Maggie!

  “I’ll be right back sweetie, get dressed, I have a surprise for you!” And after a kiss on her cheek, I jumped up and bolted out of the front door to retrieve my foundling and her ever so brilliant doggie.