No Going Back (Siren Publishing Allure)

by Redrae Gunn

  “Your grammar has become completely deplorable since I’ve been away, Ms. Lone Wolf,” David scolded. “Brush your hair out. Leave it down.”

  “Scarf”—David tossed Tayen a black, silk scarf and then a black silk wrap for her skirt—“and wraparound. Until we get downstairs in The Cave.”

  “The Cave?” Tayen asked looking at David. “Really? It’s a sex place, and we aren’t sexual.”

  “You are voyeuristic, as am I,” David said. “After a week on your own I thought you could use a little spice, and be honest, Tayen, would you rather wander through there with Caleb watching your every move? Or your best friend, who is going to comment with you, not just judge your reactions, which I will do out of habit.”

  “Don’t leave me for one second, David,” Tayen said, steeling herself for her impending tour of the rest of The Cave. “Not one, please.”

  “I’ll wipe you in the restroom,” David solemnly swore.

  “Um…” Tayen’s smile returned. “You can be away for that second.”

  “I can answer some questions for you, so that if and when you go there with Caleb, you are more comfortable,” David said, leading his best girl downstairs. Tayen nodded her head. “I know you don’t like unfamiliar places.”

  “More drinks?” Tayen asked.

  “Absolutely,” David scoffed. “I wouldn’t take you there without a couple more drinks beforehand. Honestly, what is with you and alcohol that makes your processor run faster?”

  “It’s liquid courage,” Tayen admitted. David threw some other clothes of Tayen’s in a bag and headed downstairs.

  At the kitchen island David handed Tayen a black, velvet bag. Tayen looked at David and then opened it by dumping the contents onto the marble countertop. A padded, black, leather collar, complete with matching handcuffs, fell out of the bag. Tayen lashed out at the collar the instant she saw it, flipping it off the counter and onto the floor. She grabbed the leather bands off the counter.

  David calmly picked the collar off the floor and placed it back on the counter. He waited while Tayen looked at the leather bands. She had them opened and was already trying them on. She eyed the collar, glaring at it, but let it remain on the counter and went back to buckling her other cuff.

  “Come, Tayen,” David said as he grabbed the collar off the counter with one hand and pulled her hand with the other. David pulled Tayen into the bathroom on the main floor and had her stand in front of the full-length mirror.

  Tayen’s eyes lit up when she saw the bands on her wrists. “They’re pretty,” she admitted, showing them off in the mirror. They matched her outfit perfectly.

  “Then a collar shouldn’t be problem either,” David said softly.

  “I’m not wearing a fucking collar, David,” Tayen said fiercely, glaring at David’s reflection in the mirror.

  “Tayen.” David’s voice held a little edge. Tayen stuck her tongue out at him. David straightened his posture and watched as Tayen’s gaze dropped.

  “That was very rude of me, David,” Tayen said looking down at the leather bands. “I am really sorry. I appreciate the gift, but I can’t wear the collar. I just can’t.”

  “Apology accepted,” David whispered. When Tayen lifted her head again, David smiled. “Show me in the mirror how you usually stand without a drink in your hand.”

  Tayen laughed and went to place her hands in her pockets. Since she had no pockets she clasped her hands behind her back and looked for David’s approval in the mirror.

  “You look available, warrior,” David said. “Look in the mirror.” Tayen did what David asked. “If I was a Dominant, which I am, and I saw you standing like this, I would assume that you were not with anyone. You have no collar, no visible signs that you belong to anyone. It’s a huge mistake not to give yourself some sort of neck ornament.”

  “I’ll wear a necklace then?” Tayen asked.

  David sighed and shook his head. He smiled at Tayen.

  “You’ll break a necklace, and then where would we be?” David asked.

  “I don’t like anything having to do with breath control,” Tayen finally admitted.

  “Trust me?” David asked. Tayen nodded. “Tayen, grab the collar and hold it as I put it on.”

  Tayen shook her head but reached one hand out.

  “Both hands, warrior,” David said.

  Tayen grabbed the collar with both hands as David guided it to her throat. It was opened and he let her hold it to her throat for a few seconds before he reached around her neck. He pulled his hands away, and she looked in the mirror. The collar was around her throat. A sick suffocating feeling enveloped her. Tayen yanked at the collar, and it came apart falling on the bathroom floor.

  “You didn’t trust me very much,” David said, knocking a knuckle against Tayen’s head.

  “I was scared I was going to choke.” Tayen breathed, rubbing her throat.

  “You thought I was going to choke you?” David asked, looking wounded.

  “No, I thought…I felt like I couldn’t breathe,” Tayen said, her heart still pounding.

  “Oh, you don’t trust me to make sure you are able to breathe.” David shook his head sadly and looked at the collar on the floor.

  Tayen looked at the collar as well and finally bent over and picked it up. She looked at the lock on the back of it. It looked very complex. As she studied the lock, a single leather patch clicked softly against the back of the lock.

  “Oh,” Tayen said, her eyes lighting up in realization as she pulled the magnetic strip from the back of the collar.

  She breathed once, and the magnets came together.

  Tayen pulled it off quickly but didn’t throw it on the floor this time. She brought it to her neck again and repeated the process over. Then she did it again, and again, and again. Tayen was finally convinced that the mean looking lock wasn’t going to come to life and strangle her. She pulled the collar off and handed it to David.

  “I’ll wear it when we get to The Cave,” Tayen promised.

  David smiled and hugged Tayen, lifting her off her feet as they left the bathroom.

  “See how brave you are, Tayen?”

  “Thank you for the gifts and for thinking of me, David,” Tayen replied, smiling at David’s compliment. “I’m sorry about being rude earlier.”

  “You’ve been forgiven,” David replied, tapping her nose. “So you shouldn’t bring it up again.”

  Tayen nodded her head.

  * * * *

  Caleb was on his fourth beer. He thanked the sub that brought the beer up to Steve’s office. He was unwinding after a long, hard week and was grateful his best friend hadn’t been too busy for some guy time. When he came back in the glass room Steve held up his finger for Caleb to be quiet.

  “No,” Steve said into the phone, “that’s fine. I see that now. Thank you.” He grinned when he looked at Caleb. “Your sub is here.”

  “What?” Caleb asked. His temper started from his toes, and his heart started to pound.

  “Look what that pretty, little thing wrote on the registry.” Steve was smiling as Caleb approached the desk Steve was seated behind. Steve pointed to the monitor that overlooked the registry where every club member must sign in before entering. “Her honesty is, um…well, very honest.”

  Tayen had penned her name in all capital letters, her signature was nearly unreadable, but in the reason for coming she hadn’t copied off of David’s a little voyeurism. She had written, once again, in all capital letters, TRIAL RUN SO I DON’T FREAK WHEN MY SEXUAL DOM BRINGS ME HERE / VOYEURISM WITH MY BFF.

  Caleb’s heart settled down, and he exhaled. Steve gave him a wary look and said, “You really have to start trusting your subs, no matter what happened in your past.” Then he turned back to the monitors and cranked up the volume on the sound system so that the low hum of the room vibrated through the speakers.

  David turned to the person in the room. “Can you give us a moment please?” The man stepped outside of the room, and D
avid turned to Tayen. “Warrior,” he said as he handed her the bag with the collar and cuffs.

  “I don’t think I can do this, David,” Tayen admitted, not taking the bag.

  “Scarf and wraparound please,” David replied, ignoring her protest. He smiled warmly when she handed over the extra clothes. David stuffed them in the backpack and nodded to the bag in his hand. Tayen was shaking. David hugged her and whispered something in her ear that made Tayen laugh, and then she held up two fingers on each hand. “I thought you would’ve flipped me off with each hand.”

  Tayen shook her head while looking at the bag, but she took it from David’s hands and emptied the contents onto the shelf that held purses on the opposite side of the room. The instant the collar fell out of the bag Tayen recoiled. She grabbed the cuffs from the shelf and stepped back, shaking her head again.

  “Christ, Caleb, sit down,” Steve barked. “David’s doing this first so that you don’t have to go through this.” Steve turned back to the monitor. “The man’s got the patience of a saint.”

  Caleb tried to relax as he looked at the monitor.

  David had leaned against the wall, folded his hands across his chest, and was just waiting.

  Tayen stared at David and then looked at the collar.

  “It burns us,” she said while grabbing her throat as she imitated Gollum in The Lord of the Rings. “Take it off of us.”

  David burst into laughter. He finally cleared his throat and looked at the collar. “It’s for my precious.”

  “We can’t eat hobbit food,” Tayen replied, giggling. She bowed her head, and a fierce look came over her face and she snatched the collar off the shelf. David walked over and held up Tayen’s hair as she brought the leather to her throat.

  When the door behind her opened, she hesitated. The man who guarded the room peeked in and then went to shut the door again.

  “Sir?” Tayen called. When the man peeked back in, she continued, “You can stay. An audience isn’t going to help, but it won’t hurt either.” She shrugged her shoulders. The man glanced at David, and David nodded his head, then he turned his attention back to Tayen.

  “Look in the mirror again with your hands behind your back,” David said softly and pointed to a full-length mirror next to the door opposite the one they had entered through. “What does it look like?”

  “Available,” Tayen sighed as she looked at herself. “I’m trying, David, I swear.” Tayen’s voice pleaded with David to understand.

  “I know, warrior.” David kissed her temple and smoothed her hair. “You’re doing great.”

  Tayen grinned at David’s reflection after the compliment. The fierce look returned to her face, but when the lock latched behind her neck she again felt the sick choking sensation.

  “Give me five seconds,” David said sternly, his voice firm, expecting her complete compliance. “For me. Count.”

  Tayen had finished counting to five, and she brought her hands to her neck.

  “It looks beautiful,” David said softly. Tayen hesitated on ripping the thing off her neck.

  “Mr. Durten,” David addressed the gentleman at the desk who had been politely ignoring them, “does this collar look nice on Tayen? Does it match her outfit and all the things that girls worry about?”

  Tayen lowered her hands and turned to face the man at the desk.

  In the surveillance room Steve and Caleb cheered. David had just gotten Tayen to wear the collar for longer than intended. A clever diversion as she was far past her required five seconds and was now focused on pleasing the man at the desk instead of worrying about the collar on her neck.

  Mr. Durten looked up from the registry and looked at Tayen inspecting her entire outfit. “What does the lock look like on the collar?”

  Tayen walked closer to the man, turned, and pulled her hair away from her neck. Mr. Durten looked at it and pulled. The collar came off in his hands, and Tayen reached to keep the collar around her neck.

  “It matches perfectly,” Mr. Durten said and turned back to his paperwork.

  Tayen fastened the collar behind her neck and stood in front of the mirror again. “It does match.” She fingered the clasp in the front. “What’s this for?” she asked David, looking at the reflection in the mirror.

  “This,” David said, pulling a small, black, leather leash from a large plastic bag.

  “Black is mine for the bike,” Tayen said, backing away. “You know that, David.” Tears started to form in her eyes, and she furiously blinked them back.

  “That’s why I have these as well,” David replied calmly as he laid several thin leashes on the desk in front of Mr. Durten. “White with silver studs, gold, silver, dark brown, red, and finally a dark green with glittery stars fastened throughout.”

  Tayen’s hand shook as she reached for the green one. “Mr. Durten, the green one, right?”

  Mr. Durten looked up and glanced at Tayen’s outfit. “I think the green would be appropriate,” he said nonchalantly. “It matches, and, Tayen, a leash is always good. Even with cuffs and a collar, a dangling leash means that your Dom is coming back soon or watching from a distance.”

  “I’m not a fucking dog,” Tayen said as she pointed her finger at David. Then she turned to the man behind the desk.

  “It’s for your protection,” Mr. Durten replied, locking eyes with Tayen. “Like any loved pet at the park, free to roam, run, but with ownership.”

  “Oh,” Tayen said pulling her finger from Mr. Durten’s face. “Sorry.”

  “No offense taken,” he replied.

  Steve looked at Caleb as they watched the aggressive side of Tayen turn full blast.

  “She’s confused a little bit,” Caleb said to Steven. “Her inability to process all of her emotions is slowing her down a bit. She’ll be fine in a second or two.”

  Tayen grabbed the green leash off of the desk and handed it to David with both hands, palms up. David recognized that she was once again submitting against her worst fears of being tied to another human being. He grinned and pointed to the floor.

  Tayen instantly dropped to her knees, assuming David’s preferred kneel with her fingers displayed on her thighs. She displayed five fingers. David clasped the leash to the collar.

  Tayen gagged and pulled on the leash, ripping the collar off her neck. She looked at the collar in her lap, unclasped the leash, and placed the collar back on her neck.

  “No way, David,” Tayen whispered. “Can’t do it. I’m so sorry. Collar is fine compared to the leash.”

  Caleb watched the screen as David continued talking to Tayen in a soothing voice. Steve was right. David had the patience of a saint.

  “Was something on her hard limit list?” Steve asked Caleb. “Bondage, restraints, or something else?”

  “Breath control,” Caleb recalled. “Anything having to do with it was an absolute no. But watching her escape from the condo was impressive. I believe that she really has superb breathing control.”

  Steve looked at Caleb.

  “I was watching what was mine,” Caleb defended himself. “She escaped Theresa. Can you believe it?”

  Steve balked. “No way. Theresa works for Damien as a PI on his really slippery cases. How do you know she actually escaped?”

  “Have the video right here.” Caleb pulled his laptop out of his briefcase. “Trust me, you won’t believe it.”

  Steve laughed as he watched the video. “Caleb, you are either going to trust her or have a heart attack. She’s got to be driving you crazy as obviously you were driving her crazy.”

  Caleb snorted, ran his hands through his hair, and looked at the surveillance video where Tayen and David were still working through her issues.

  Tayen was near tears, and David could tell that her emotions were starting to overwhelm her. They’d gotten this far, and David was ready to give up on the leash when Tayen’s eyes lit up.

  “What?” David asked recognizing the tiny light in her eyes.

  “I’m okay i
f I hold the leash,” Tayen said softly. “So what if you hold the hand that holds the leash?”

  “Let’s see how it looks in the mirror,” David said.

  Tayen was instantly on her feet and looking at David, hoping that this compromise was acceptable.

  “Look at that look,” Caleb said to Steve. “Waiting for approval, wanting approval, striving to be everything that David needs.”

  “Something tells me that she’d give you that look, too, if you’d trust her,” Steve said, bringing it up again.

  “I’m trying,” Caleb said, and he turned his attention back to the monitor.

  “She likes being trusted,” Steve commented as he looked at the monitor. “She needs to be believed. I think that David gets that about her personality. Something in her past perhaps. I wonder if she had told the truth once about something really serious and she hadn’t been believed.”

  “She has said something about that,” Caleb admitted.

  “Then it would be wise to trust her,” Steve offered his advice. “Her entry on the registry shows her honesty…and humor.” Steve chuckled. “Smart, funny, beautiful, submissive, honest, and so willing to please. What more could you possibly want?”

  “Nothing,” Caleb sighed as he watched David lead Tayen through the door that led into the club. “I really need to thank David.”

  * * * *

  Tayen hesitated, and David felt her tense. He stopped and let her eyes adjust to the dim and seductive lighting. Couches, love seats, and overstuffed Papasan chairs filled the large room. Large pots held trees and shrubs sectioning off the variety of furniture giving each space the illusion of being secluded.

  “It smells,” Tayen said when David looked at her with his eyebrows raised.

  “Like what?”

  “Leather, um…eucalyptus, maybe some of the trees, lemon polish, and something else,” Tayen said.

  “Sex and sweat, Tayen,” David said, his eyes softening as the realization dawned in Tayen’s eyes.

  “That’s it,” Tayen said almost hearing the audible click in her brain as she started processing information again. “I already feel a little naughty, and I haven’t seen anything.” Tayen grinned at David. David smoothed Tayen’s hair and headed to the bar.