The Amish Secret Wish

by Laura V. Hilton

  Discomfort worked through Kiah. What? Though it was true. He was. Just not for the reasons implied in her smile. Kiah hesitated, gawking at her, just long enough to miss the ball when it was hit in his direction. His face burned.

  Someone muttered something about a weak link.

  Someone else shouted to get his head in the game.

  The teacher laughed. “Bishop Nathan. Ant farm. And just to save time and frustration, no, I’m not the scribe. But I wish I were.” She added an eye flutter. It looked forced and awkward.

  Kiah nodded. Since the scribe was secret, he couldn’t very well say that he’d found the one he was looking for.

  “Jah, you can have the ant farm. George is the one who provided it to the school anyway. It seems fitting that he’d get it back.” The teacher now sounded more common sense, straightforward, and no-nonsense. Normal, Kiah guessed.

  It did actually seem fitting for George to get the ant farm since he bought it for the school. Hopefully, George would leave the ants in the glass farm container, whatever it was called.

  “May I pick it up tonight? The ant farm? Well, actually right now?” If he could, he’d have more time with Hallie tonight—especially if he came up with a logical reason for leaving the youth gathering early. Though Anna might not appreciate that.

  He glanced toward the other team just in time to catch Anna give some guy a flirty look. The guy winked. Hmm. It reminded him of Molly and turned his stomach.

  However, if the other guy offered to take Anna home, this might all work out.

  On the other hand, why was Anna so jealous of Hallie if she could attract male attention on her own? He thought back to the sisters’ interactions. This behavior fed Hallie’s insecurities, kept her home, and put Anna in the spotlight.

  But her secret was out. And Kiah wouldn’t hesitate to remind Anna about it if she pitched a fit about him and Hallie.

  A shrill whistle jarred his attention from Anna and her crush back to the schoolteacher, who had two fingers in her mouth and was getting everyone’s attention. At least it wasn’t fingernails dragged across a chalkboard. He cringed at the thought.

  Everyone stopped talking and stared at the teacher.

  “Kiah and I are going to walk to the school. Who wants to come with us?” The teacher didn’t even yell.

  Immediately ten hands went up.

  All female. Excluding Anna’s.

  A beat or two passed and approximately the same amount—give or take one or two—of male hands rose. Of course. Because the girls were going.

  The teacher smiled at Kiah. “I’ll go tag a chaperone to go with us,” she said, much quieter, then walked away.

  Kiah nodded and caught the volleyball when someone tossed it at him. A couple more youth rotated into the game, and Kiah moved to the back row to serve.

  They played about half a game before the teacher reappeared with a middle-aged couple. She made that shrill whistle again. “Let’s go get that ant farm,” she added.

  Almost all the volleyball players—excluding Anna—joined together in a huddle behind Kiah and the teacher and they started across the wet and muddy cornfield to the schoolhouse.

  * * *

  Soon after Anna and Kiah left, Mamm came into the living room with a small green pill bottle and a glass of water. She shook a pill out into her hand and handed it to Hallie. “I’m so sorry I forgot to give you a pain pill earlier. I hope you weren’t too uncomfortable.”

  Hallie forced a smile. “It was manageable. Joy gave me a pill about thirty minutes ago.” At least as long as she didn’t move, it didn’t hurt too much. The jostling due to the hailstorm and all the shifting and changes in position had left her cranky and emotional…even if there had been happy moments in Kiah’s arms and her ankle on his knee, at least before Anna swept through in a cloud of flowery scent for their singing date.

  That on top of the sleeplessness of most of the night before—except for the time spent sleeping in Kiah’s arms—it was amazing she wasn’t a weepy mess.

  She took the pill, set it aside for later, and gulped the cold water, then shifted—and winced as Mamm moved the quilt off her ankle and removed the mostly melted ice pack.

  “I’ll be right back with a fresh one,” Mamm promised as she hustled back into the kitchen.

  Daed said something to Mamm, his voice a low rumble Hallie couldn’t understand in her exhausted, pain-filled state, and Mamm answered.

  Hallie closed her eyes. She’d try to pray about Anna and Kiah instead of stressing over them. If Gott saw fit to answer her prayers yesterday morning by sending a flash of predawn light and Kiah, then surely He could answer prayers about her relationship with her older sister and Anna’s unfounded jealousy of Hallie.

  She closed her eyes. Lord Gott…and there she must’ve dozed off or something, because she woke up to Kiah’s mamm easing an ice pack onto Hallie’s ankle.

  “I didn’t mean to disturb you.” Mrs. Esh sat in the chair next to her. “We haven’t had a chance to talk. I’m sorry you were injured, but I’m glad you’re here so we can get acquainted. I’m Ruth.” She shifted her chair closer and lowered her voice. “My husband tells me you’re the scribe. Tell me how you met Kiah.”

  Hallie blinked in surprise. Was the woman an ally or was she looking for more ammunition against Hallie? “Um, briefly, at the furniture shop the day of my boyfriend’s funeral. We didn’t exchange more than ten words, but we remembered each other. Then we only corresponded by mail, he as himself and me as the scribe.”

  “And how is that identity different than the real you?” Mrs. Esh asked, tilting her head.

  “I couldn’t include anything that would identify me as the scribe either in the letters or in real life. Which really confuses me because Bishop Nathan made the rules and he broke them the first time someone came looking for me.”

  Mrs. Esh’s mouth twisted as if she tasted a lemon.

  Hallie grimaced, remembering Kiah’s daed’s equally pinched expression. Maybe she shouldn’t have criticized the bishop. She inhaled deeply. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Esh. I shouldn’t have said that.” She might have just accidentally burned a bridge while “under the influence” of pain medication.

  “Call me Ruth. Bishop Nathan told my husband because Kiah made an impression on him. He wanted us to know that you’re a fine girl and Kiah would be blessed indeed if he married you.”

  Then why did Mr. Esh seem to disapprove of her? She couldn’t ask. That would be rude. But she could ask about something else…“Why did Kiah come to court me…uh, the scribe…if he’s promised to marry Molly this fall?”

  “It probably will be earlier than fall.” Mrs. Esh’s mouth twisted again. “That’s complicated.”

  “Complicated.”

  “I can’t tell you. But let’s just say that it’s, um, difficult.”

  “Can Kiah tell me?” Jah, she was pushing. But if it was a pushed-up wedding, then Molly must be pregnant. Hallie gulped.

  Mrs. Esh sighed. “I doubt that he even knows yet. He’s going to balk, but he has no choice.”

  What? How? Why?

  “But let’s talk about more pleasant things. Tell me about you. You work at a restaurant in town…as a waitress?”

  Why was Ruth acting like she was getting to know her as a future daughter-in-law?

  “Jah, but I also make their pies.” She wouldn’t brag that she’d won blue ribbons at the fair. Of course, that was secret, too, due to the pride issue.

  “And your mamm hopes that you’ll become a midwife.”

  Hallie nodded.

  “But you don’t want to because…?”

  Mamm and the bishop were telling all her secrets. Hallie swallowed. “Fear mostly. What if I make a mistake and someone dies?”

  But admitting to fear reminded her of Bishop Nathan’s advice to stop lurking in the shadows and step into the light of the campfire. That was something to ponder, especially since Gott kept bringing it to mind. What exactly did it mean? To stop hiding
from life, maybe?

  She did hide from life…Oh, Lord, help me to be brave and to embrace life the way you intended instead of hiding in the shadows, terrified of getting hurt. And if You want me to become a midwife, shove me through that wide-open door because I won’t go willingly.

  How was that for brutally honest?

  Now Gott already knew she didn’t want to be a midwife and He wouldn’t make her…

  Actually, He probably would. He was probably rolling on the floor laughing right now.

  Mrs. Esh grasped Hallie’s hand. “Are you okay, dear? You look a bit pale. Are you going to get sick?” She looked around as if there was an immediate need for a pail.

  “I’m fine. I was thinking about being a midwife. It’s not as amazing as some people”—like Anna—“think. There’s a lot of responsibility and so much potential for things to go wrong.” Mamm had told her once that a woman was never so close to death as when they were giving birth. Anna treated it as a lark, like she was just there for a frolic and not the serious, life-altering event it was.

  “Your mamm says you are a natural. And that she won’t let Anna into the birthing room yet.”

  Really?

  “She says she uses her for errands, housekeeping, and crowd-control,” Mrs. Esh continued.

  Then what did Anna take notes on? One hundred and one ways to amuse small children and calm a stressed husband while the wife was giving birth?

  Okay, that was a bit snarky.

  “What do you want to do with your life, Hallie?” And the tone of her voice suggested strongly that Mamm had told her that Hallie didn’t want to marry. That she wouldn’t go to frolics so she could be courted. That she was a virtual hermit…

  Oh, Lord…she was.

  And then Kiah stepped into her life and she threw herself into his arms like a desperate woman. Though, admittedly, he responded to her the same way.

  A heated rush. Time was of the essence. They must act now or forever hold their peace.

  “I do want to marry and have children. I do. I’m done grieving and I want…I want Kiah.” Then her face flamed and she dipped her head so she didn’t have to see his mamm.

  So his mamm couldn’t see her.

  And he was engaged…

  Hallie’s stomach roiled.

  She tugged at a loose thread on the quilt. “Mrs. Esh—”

  “Ruth, please.” There was something Hallie couldn’t identify in her voice.

  “I shouldn’t have said that. He’s engaged and I don’t want to come between them…”

  “Jah, you do.”

  Hallie glanced up.

  “And I want you to.” Ruth gave her a sad sort of smile. “But you can’t. It’s complicated. And if you do, my husband will be ruined—” She sucked in a breath, stood, and stumbled from the room, shutting the bedroom door firmly behind her.

  “What?”

  * * *

  The ant farm was much larger than Kiah expected, but as crazy as the elderly man was over ants, he supposed it would make sense for George to order the deluxe model instead of the standard size. If Kiah had known it was so big, he would’ve driven the buggy over to get it. Another man had to help him carry the large glass case across the field to the borrowed buggy.

  “I’m so happy to be rid of that,” the teacher said as Kiah slid the ant farm into the back seat and wrapped the ragged old buggy quilt around it. After all, he didn’t want Ted’s buggy infested with ants.

  “I imagine George will be glad to have it back.” As fond as the man was of ants and cats, he would be over-the-moon excited.

  However, Anna wouldn’t be as happy when she discovered that Kiah was ready to go. The singing hadn’t even started yet. Youth were still arriving, mingling, and playing either volleyball or basketball. He hadn’t seen either Aaron or Joy yet.

  But Hallie waited, and he had some serious courting to do.

  Time was of the essence, unless by some miracle Daed let Kiah stay for an undetermined amount of time. And he doubted that would happen since Daed was in a mood unlike any Kiah had seen. It was as if the stress had exploded the moment he met Hallie.

  But Kiah didn’t understand why, nor did he know what Molly had to do with it. And where did Daed get the idea he would be marrying Molly when he hadn’t courted her—or anyone—for a year and a half? He most definitely would not marry Molly.

  He needed to discuss that with Daed, but it’d be in bad form to talk about it now. That would have to wait until they got home.

  And hopefully, Hallie would wait until he got this mess fixed and could return for her.

  The other youth rejoined the volleyball game as Kiah finished securing the ant farm; then he plodded across the muddy pasture to try to find Anna. Hopefully she would be understanding and cooperate fully with him.

  In fact, he probably should pray about it.

  He stopped in his tracks and bowed his head. Lord, please help things to go smoothly and work this out according to Your will. I’d really like to spend time courting Hallie, if at all possible.

  That probably made the prayer a bit selfish, but surely Gott understood.

  He opened his eyes and looked up to see Anna and another girl approaching.

  Kiah sucked in air. “Anna, what’s your favorite pizza topping—other than cheese?”

  Anna’s brow hitched. “Pepperoni, of course. Why?”

  The scribe—Hallie—liked pineapple and Canadian bacon.

  Kiah smiled. And opened his mouth to tell her what she and he already knew. She wasn’t the scribe.

  Anna held up a hand. “David asked if he could give me a ride home tonight. I’ve been wanting him to notice me forever. I think he got jealous when he saw me with you. If you don’t mind, I’m going to ride with him. You and I can go out for pizza tomorrow.”

  Kiah smiled. “Perfect. Except not for tomorrow night. I found the scribe and I’d like to spend time talking with her.”

  “It’s Mammi,” Anna stated confidently.

  And Kiah’s smile widened. If Hallie couldn’t tell, then he wouldn’t, either. “Maybe David might like to go out for pizza tomorrow night. Invite a few other friends so it appears less likely that you’re chasing him.” Because if David was a good Amish boy, it might make him a bit uncomfortable to be openly pursued.

  Kind of like how Kiah felt about Daed’s declaration that Kiah would marry Molly in the fall. He wanted to run the opposite direction as fast and as far as he could.

  Anna’s friend nodded. “We can get a group together. Super fun. You can invite Anna’s mammi, since you want to talk to her.” She looked at Kiah.

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” Kiah said, but he wanted to be alone with Hallie—not on a group date with her mammi. “But since you found another ride home, if it’s okay, I’m going to leave. I have George’s ants, and I’d like to get them delivered tonight.” Maybe that’d save even more time tomorrow. Especially if he could show George that he didn’t need—or want—reading and writing lessons.

  “Have fun talking with Mammi.” Anna smirked. “You might want to make sure Daadi is close by.” She and her friend turned and walked away. Snickering.

  Whatever. Kiah knew the truth. He swung around and headed back toward the buggy. He’d make a stop at George’s, deliver the ant farm, and read a short chapter of the Bible out loud, then be on his way to court Hallie. Even if it was a game of checkers where he’d have to keep an eye on her to make sure she didn’t cheat.

  “Kiah.” A female’s voice called to him.

  He turned.

  A not-so-joyful Joy ran toward him, tears streaming down her face.

  Chapter 23

  Hallie reached for her crutches to follow Mrs. Esh—Ruth—to the bedroom just so she could get to the bottom of such a strange comment. How could Kiah’s refusal to marry an ex-girlfriend—one he hadn’t courted for over a year, if he’d been truthful—possibly ruin his father? And if Kiah hadn’t been with her, why would they have a rushed wedding? That did
n’t make a lick of sense. Yet apparently, whatever claims Molly had made had quite the hold on the parents. Kiah didn’t seem to be too bothered, because he didn’t know about it, or he didn’t care, or he was playing Hallie for a fool. No. Kiah, with his full-disclosure mindset, didn’t seem the type to play dishonest games. Nor did he seem the type to not care about his responsibilities.

  And if he didn’t know about it…

  Well, how could that be?

  But soon he would…and then what would he do? If it was possible to truly ruin his daed…? Her stomach churned.

  How would—could—it ruin his daed?

  His mamm was right. Kiah loved his daed—his parents—and would make sure he—they—were not ruined, if he could do anything about it.

  He was a good son. A good man.

  Hallie’s eyes burned. And she’d admitted to Mrs. Esh—Ruth—that she wanted Kiah. Like a loose woman. Although she didn’t mean it that way. Ruth had inferred her approval of Hallie except that Hallie’s joy would be Ruth’s pain once her husband was ruined. Someone was going to have a broken heart, and Hallie had a sinking, nauseating feeling it would be her.

  Hallie let the crutch drop and buried her face in her hands mostly to hide her emotions from anyone who might walk into the room. But Mamm was in the kitchen doing something, maybe making herbal tea since water was running. Mamm had a theory that any sort of caffeine in the afternoon was bad for people. She couldn’t prove it, though. Hallie wasn’t sure she agreed, but that was why it was called a theory. It was unproven.

  And that was a lovely rabbit trail. And now she needed caffeine.

  She rubbed her fingers across her eyes to wipe away any tears that might be trying to escape, and looked up…at Preacher Esh.

  Something that might be sympathy glittered in his green eyes so much like Kiah’s. For a moment, he actually looked as if he cared. As if he might have overheard her conversation with Ruth. As if he was sorry. As if he loved with a love that the Bible said that Gott has for His children.

  As if he wasn’t the grumpy, judgmental ogre he’d appeared to be thus far, but instead the loving, caring man of Gott that Kiah claimed he was.