Hannah

by Raymond Clarke

  ‘Just tell him he’s not wanted. That’s not too hard, is it?’

  Hannah stood upright, glaring at her husband. ‘Have you thought about the fact that we could lose our grant if we keep offending people, without good reason? What do we do then? Do we go and sleep in the bush with the blacks? That’d be nice for the children. Remember I’m still on ticket-of-leave and that privilege could be easily revoked.’

  ‘We could move out if that happens, go to a new settlement, something bigger. I’ve been thinking about that for a long time, anyway—’

  ‘And you never told me anything about it, have you? ‘Hannah waved her hands wildly. ‘Just follow me, Hannah, that’s the game, isn’t it? Don’t think, you’re only a woman. That’s the attitude, is it?’

  ‘Bejasus, Hannah, what do you want me to do? Bow down to every stranger who wanders in here to safeguard the grant?’

  ‘No but just be careful, that’s all. Don’t put us out on a limb. Okay?’ She watched his eyes, searching for a reaction. ‘Anyway, I don’t think anything will come of it,’ she said matter-of-factly. ‘After all, he’d be forty years old if he’s a day, and besides, we’re most likely looking for problems that aren’t there.’

  Daniel sighed. ‘I hope you’re right but I have a bad feeling about him.’ He patted his heart. ‘Right in here.’ He gave her a wry smile. ‘And it’s never wrong. Anyway, best keep Charlotte away from him if he comes here. At least do that, eh?’

  Hannah shrugged her shoulders, anxious to put the matter to rest. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll watch her. Let’s just wait and see what — if anything — happens. Now let’s end this subject. Agreed?’ On his nod, she moved back in to the house and sorted the ever-growing clothes for washing. As the hands moved absently, her thoughts returned to her eldest daughter. Daniel was right in one thing. She was different from the rest and why shouldn’t she be? She had a different father. Fleetingly, a vision came to her of kindly John Dixon and she wondered where and how he was. Sighing, she hefted the overflowing basket to her hip and walked outside to the boiler tub.

  On Toby’s next visit, Daniel asked him what he knew about Edsall.

  ‘Edsell? You mean the temporary tally clerk? He’s only been seconded for the job, you know. Nobody else wanted the job. He seems civil enough but there’s something funny about him, though.’ He paused to puff the corn cob. ‘He’s hard to work out, that fellow. Why do ye ask?’

  ‘Ah, just asking. Not important.’ Daniel shrugged. ‘Look, Toby, you knew old Blue died and it broke Charlotte up. I want to get another dog, a pup for her.’

  ‘Sure. I know how she loved that dog. I’ll see what I can do next week.’

  They didn’t see Richard Edsall for two weeks and then he arrived twice in the one week. ‘Just passing by,’ was his customary greeting. His eyes sought out Daniel on arrival to see if there was any thawing of their prickly relationship. He was always polite, repeatedly asking Daniel if he could help him in any way. Currying favors, Daniel told Hannah after he left. Richard Edsall had his tea on the outdoor table, surrounded by the chattering children who Hannah had to persistently shoo away. He told Hannah and Daniel the latest news of the colony, about Macquarie’s plans for expansion to Camden and further south to the Southern Highlands. ‘Wonderful country down there, Mr. Clarke, lovely and green, ideal for stock and crops and it’s not flood land, like here. They’re passing out grants now, so I believe, hoping to attract settlers.’

  Despite his reservations, Daniel found himself interested in Edsall’s talk of the Southern Highlands. ‘Sounds good, these new grants,’ he commented to Hannah.

  She wasn’t impressed. ‘I’m happy here, Daniel. We’re not moving.’

  ‘That’d be right,’ he said, and she gave him a glare.

  Edsall’s visits graduated to every second day, and Daniel decided to confront him. Even Hannah was getting sick of serving him tea and wasting valuable work time. The children, including Charlotte, home from school, got so used to seeing him that they would walk with him down to the creek where, Mary Ann told her father, he would make them paper boats to sail down the creek. ‘It was fun, Daddy,’ she exclaimed and Daniel could only wince.

  ‘Let’s walk,’ he ordered Edsall the next time that he came. ‘Down there.’ He waved at the trio of eucalyptus in the distance and Edsall followed him. ‘Look,’ he said, coming to a stop and turning. ‘I’ll make this quite plain. I’d like to know why you keep coming down here so often. I mean, we appreciate getting news from the colony but—’

  ‘Mr. Clarke,’ Edsall nervously tugged at his hat. ‘I’ll be honest with you. I ask for your approval to court your daughter.’ He blew out his cheeks and sighed. ‘There, now I’ve got that off my chest,’ he added, giving Daniel a wan smile.

  ‘What? What daughter?’ Daniel’s eyes hardened. He took a step forward and Edsall retreated, putting up an arm as if to ward off a blow.

  ‘Charlotte. I—’

  ‘She’s only a kid, our Charlotte? She’s just fourteen, for God’s sake.’ Daniel waved a hand towards the track. ‘I think you should go, mister. Now, if you please.’

  ‘But I love her, Mr. Clarke, and I know she likes me. She—’

  ‘Edsall, don’t you know you’re too old for her?’ His eyes bored into the nervous man. ‘Just how old are you anyhow? Fifty? Sixty?’

  ‘I’m forty three, Mr. Clarke. I’m a government Servant and I own a property. I would be able look after her very well—’

  ‘God, all bloody mighty,’ Daniel exploded. ‘Words fail me. I’m not happy about this I can tell you.’

  ‘Would . . . would you at least consider my request?’ Edsall asked respectfully as they walked back to the house.

  Daniel shot him a hard glance. ‘Consider it? All I’ll do is talk to my wife about this proposal of yours. That’s all I’ll do but don’t get your hopes up. If I know Hannah, she’ll want me to throw you out.’

  ‘And Charlotte?’

  ‘What about Charlotte?’

  ‘Will you talk to her, too? She’s a very mature girl—’

  ‘I’ll be the judge of that, Edsall, me and only me. Now, I’d strongly suggest you move on for today.’

  ‘Yes, I will but I’d like to return, Mr. Clarke, to see what you all think about my proposal.’ Edsall climbed aboard his sulky and didn’t even glance — as he usually did — at the golden-haired girl who stood watching his departure.

  God, he’s persistent, Daniel thought as he watched the sulky depart the property. He stormed into the house. ‘Hannah,’ he bellowed, ‘we have a problem to sort out.’ His eyes swung to Charlotte, waiting outside the door, and his finger pointed inside. ‘And you, miss, don’t you go anywhere. This is all about you.’

  Hannah allowed Daniel a few minutes to rant and rave before she stopped him. ‘Calm down, Daniel. You’ve said your piece, okay, now let’s hear from Charlie and hear what she’s got to say.’ She looked at Charlotte, nervously biting her lip. ‘Well, miss, tell me, do you like this man?’

  Charlotte looked through the mat of golden abundance and eyed her mother. ‘He’s funny and kind.’ She shrugged her shoulders.

  ‘And just what does this shrugging of the shoulders mean? Bejasus, Charlotte,’ Daniel exploded. ‘This is not a stupid childish game you play with Mary Ann. Get serious. This fellow wants to marry you. Do you know what that means?’

  ‘He wants to court you, Charlotte, and marry you when you’re fifteen,’ Hannah added. ‘He’s forty three years old so he says. Is that what you want, Charlie, this man? You have to be sure.’

  ‘Yes, I do like him. He’s kind and jolly and makes me laugh.’ Charlotte peeped at her father, weighing his response. ‘Besides, I want to have my own house.’

  Daniel leapt to his feet, face red and voice like thunder. ‘This is crazy.’ He waved his hands in the air and looked for support from Hannah. ‘Well, Hannah, what do you say to that?’

  She stood arms folded over her apron, silent, thoughtful, befo
re turning back to the oven.

  ‘Well, thanks for your support,’ he said, after an eerie silence. ‘If that’s what you want, you can have him for better or worse.’ He strode to the door, kicked it open and turned. ‘Hannah, for God’s sake try and talk some sense into your daughter.’

  ‘So it’s my daughter now, is it,’ Hannah shouted after him. She stood for some moments eyeing John Dixon’s daughter and wondered how John would have behaved in this situation. She bit her lip in indecision before putting an arm around Charlotte. ‘If you’re happy, Charlie, and it’s what you really want, so be it. Give your father time. He’ll come around.’ She patted the golden head. ‘He always does, you know,’ she added.

  ‘I guess I’m no longer his little princess.’ Charlotte gave her mother a wan smile.

  ‘I think you always will be. He loves you, Charlie, as we all do.’ She stooped to play with a wayward lock of hair. ‘If you’re absolutely sure, it looks like we have a wedding to plan for this year. Golly, our very first wedding. You’ll be a beautiful bride, I be thinking.’

  Charlotte Dixon married Richard Edsall at St Matthews Anglican Church in Windsor in May 1825 before fifty guests including Rosie and John Williams from Campbelltown. After the excitement of the wedding festivities, the Clarkes returned home to South Creek, settling back into their customary lifestyle.

  Having lost one daughter, they gained another when in June 1826, Hannah presented Daniel with their seventh child, who they named Lucy. Mary Ann, now the eldest child, took over the big sister protective role with the newest babe, which a tired Hannah was happy to relinquish. ‘She’s like a little mother herself,’ she told Daniel as he watched her happily changing the baby’s nappy.

  ‘They grow up too fast,’ Daniel replied, thinking of Charlotte. ‘Too damn fast, I be thinking.’

  Hannah watched him stride away. I wonder how he’ll take it when Mary Ann leaves us, she thought, watching her eleven year old. It’ll happen one day and probably break his heart. She’s always been his favorite after Charlotte.

  In May 1827, the family journeyed to Windsor for the baptism of John, Elizabeth and Lucy at St. Matthews. It would be the last social outing for the family before they left South Creek. The girls, Mary Ann, Hannah, Elizabeth, and even one year old Lucy, wore pretty white dresses and the boys, Robert, John and William short pants — despite the cold weather — their long hair slicked down severely with gel. ‘Makes you look respectable,’ Hannah told them, much to their disgust.

  Inside the church, Richard Edsall and a serene Charlotte, golden halo coiled in a coiffure bun at the nape of her neck, came to sit with the family. Daniel managed to corner his daughter before she climbed into Edsall’s buggy. He hadn’t seen her for many months. ‘Are ye happy, well?’ he asked, coming straight to the point.

  ‘Yes, it’s okay,’ she replied after a pause. She gave a hint of a smile that didn’t convey to him that she was in rapture, either.

  ‘You don’t sound so sure, Charlie. Anyway, you know that if you ever need me . . .’ He lowered his head close to hers. ‘Send me a message and I’ll come wherever I may be.’ He stepped back, surprised to see they were both misty-eyed. ‘Never forget that, my girl.’

  ‘Thank you, Daddy,’ she whispered. Despite Edsall motioning her into the buggy, she stepped forward and threw her arms around her father, hugging him. ‘I do love you,’ she whispered.

  ‘And I you,’ he replied and watched with mixed feelings as she climbed into the carriage. He noted with irritation that Edsall didn’t even offer his wife a hand. He resisted the temptation of telling him about it. The horses moved off instantly, his last view of his daughter a white gloved hand leaning out and waving a matching white kerchief.

  In the spring of 1827, Hannah gave in to Daniel’s urging and they decided to leave South Creek, even though Daniel’s application for a grant had not yet been approved. ‘Are you game, love?’ he asked Hannah. ‘We’ll be on spec for a while but I’ve been promised a job as an overseer so we’ll have an income and there’s an old house of sorts so—’

  ‘I told you before, Daniel Clarke, that fate had decreed us to be together so I guess I’ll just have to follow you even if it’s to the end of the earth.’ She laughed. ‘And this place we’re going to could be just that from what Toby tells me but at least we’ll all be together.’ She grew thoughtful. ‘I’ll miss Charlotte, though, her being down near Goulburn as she is now and we rarely hear from her but . . .’ her face brightened. ‘We should see more of Rosie. She’s down that way.’

  For days, they disagreed about what they could take to the Southern Highlands, Daniel rejecting many cumbersome items much to the disgust of the children. ‘We’ve got a long way to go,’ he insisted. ‘We don’t want to bust an axle on the way, do we?’

  The farewell parties became exhausting once the locals heard that they were leaving the Hawkesbury. ‘Why would ye want to leave here, Dan’el? This is God’s country.’ Toby turned to Hannah. ‘Speak to him, Hannah, and set him straight.’

  Hannah scoffed. ‘What? Change Daniel Clarke’s mind? That’s impossible, Toby.’

  Daniel grinned at Toby. ‘We all know who the real boss is around here, don’t we?’

  After Toby left, Hannah took Daniel’s arm. ‘Come, husband, it’s our last night here. Everything’s packed and ready. Let’s go for a walk around our block.’

  ‘Yes, let’s do that, just you and I for once.’ He dropped his arm to grip her hand. Hand in hand, fingers entwined, they strolled in the gathering dusk down to the south boundary, conversing very little, happy and comfortable in the echo of their footsteps. ‘Do you remember our first day here and the black snake?’ Daniel gave her a wry smile.

  ‘How could I ever forget?’ She gave a quiet chuckle then grew thoughtful. ‘There are many happy memories here, Daniel.’ She sighed. ‘This was our home and our children’s for thirteen years. We carved a good living out of the bush. It seems so hard to leave when we’ve made it . . .’ She swept a hand around in a half circle, ‘as good as this.’

  ‘I know.’ He pressed her arm tenderly, drew her to him, and nuzzled her head with his. ‘I’ve never been as happy as I’ve been here with you and our family.’

  ‘More than when you were at sea?’ she asked mischievously.

  Daniel laughed. ‘That’s one battle I never could win with you, Hannah Clarke, could I?’

  ‘Sometimes you ran close,’ she laughed. ‘Let’s go down to the creek before we go in. I want one last look so I can remember—’

  ‘The night the black’s came?’

  ‘Yes and afterwards the terrible killing up north.’ She gave him a covert look.

  He stopped surprised. ‘How did you know about all that killing? Who told you?’

  ‘Henrietta did. Olly told her apparently.’

  ‘I never wanted you to know about that. I didn’t want you to worry.’

  ‘I know that but I’m a big girl now or haven’t you noticed?’ She took his arm again. As they approached the creek bank, Hannah stopped. ‘No, on second thoughts, let’s not go down there. Leave it in the past. Come, let’s go in. It’s getting chilly.’ Hannah shivered and he put his arm around her, holding her close, and they hurried back to the house.

  At daybreak, the following morning, the Clarkes left the property at South Creek, never to return. Daniel drove the dray, the three boys sitting in and on top of their stacked household goods and Hannah with her four daughters — including one year old Lucy under the close supervision of Mary Ann — crammed into the sulky. They passed the pile of rocks for the last time and Hannah rejected the temptation to look back. Ahead lay the Southern Highlands and another turning point in their lives. They could only hope it would be for the better.

  Chapter 15

  ‘FOSTER GROVE’

  PROPERTY OF MR JOHN WILLIAMS

  CAMPBELLTOWN

  1827

  ‘Master, a carriage is coming.’

  The owner of Foster Grove
raised his eyes from the latest issue of the Sydney Gazette to focus on the smiling face of Maggie, the Aboriginal house girl. ‘Ah, is that so, Maggie? Thank you.’ He turned his head and directed his voice to the verandah. ‘Rosie, there’s a carriage coming. Are you expecting anybody?’

  ‘No, John.’ His wife entered the lounge room through the verandah doors. ‘I don’t know of anybody.’

  ‘Then let’s go and see.’ John rose and together, they walked out to the front entrance and stood on the porch. The carriage could be seen in the distance, about to turn from the roadway onto the one mile-long track to the property. They watched its progress by the dust plumes as the two-horse vehicle cleared the last curve and came directly towards the house.

  ‘I can see a military uniform,’ John said. ‘It’s probably someone on government business.’

  ‘Hmm.’ Rosie, disappointed, lost interest and turned to enter the house.

  ‘Wait,’ her husband exclaimed. ‘It’s a naval officer, judging by the tunic and hat.’

  Rosie looked again as the carriage came to a stop and the driver prepared to alight. She narrowed her eyes, a frown on her forehead, scrutinizing the sturdy figure of the man as he jumped down from the step. There was something familiar about him, something that tore at her heartstrings and created a breathtaking vision from the past. Her heart pounded as she searched the face under the bicorn. Could it be . . .?

  The smiling visitor removed his hat with a flourish. ‘Good morning,’ he said, eyes flicking from one to the other.

  Rosie swayed back against the door frame, giddiness sweeping over her. ‘Oh, my God,’ she gasped and clutched her husband’s arm.

  ‘What is it, dear?’ John asked, supporting her. He looked at the pallor of her cheeks. ‘What’s wrong, Rosie?’

  ‘I’m terribly sorry,’ the officer said softly and stepped forward. ‘Please forgive me for intruding so abruptly. I trust Mrs. Williams is not—’