Marriage Without Love & More Than a Convenient Marriage?

by Penny Jordan

  She lay face down on a sunlounger, closing her eyes, and resolutely ignoring the rustling sound of Kieron’s shirt and jeans being dropped on the paving beside her.

  ‘Will you oil my back?’ he asked.

  She rolled over, mouth compressed. ‘If you insist, although I doubt I’ll be able to match Louise’s skill.’

  ‘Jealous?’

  ‘Certainly not!’ She poured oil into her palm and massaged it firmly into the tanned skin, trying not to react as the muscles relaxed beneath her touch.

  ‘Umm…now my legs,’ Kieron murmured lazily.

  She wanted to refuse, but instead she poured fresh oil, rubbing it in as though she would grind it into his bones. She knew that he was deliberately trying to make her aware of him, and—damn him—succeeding, but she was determined not to let it show.

  ‘You can do the rest yourself,’ she told him abruptly, straightening up and replacing the cap on the bottle.

  When he swung himself off the lounger and dropped on his haunches beside her she froze, a frisson of awareness shivering over as he laughed softly deep in his throat.

  ‘A little heavy-handed, but pleasurable none the less. And now, my lovely wife, it’s your turn.’

  Useless to object, so she didn’t even try, forcing herself to lie still while his hands roamed enticingly over her skin, stroking in the thin sunscreen. Only once, when his fingers strayed close to the provocative bows fastening the minute briefs, did she move, but Kieron ignored her, his fingers sliding under the strings and tugging gently.

  ‘Perhaps not here,’ he murmured when she glared up at him. ‘This must be a pleasure I shall reserve for later.’

  ‘There won’t be a later,’ Briony gritted up at him. ‘And will you please stop pawing me!’

  ‘Pawing you?’ His jaw jutted aggressively. ‘By heaven, you try my patience at times, Briony, but this time I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and put it down to ignorance.’

  ‘A lovers’ quarrel?’

  Neither of them had heard Louise approach. Her look for Kieron was meltingly sweet, but her eyes were cold as she glanced at Briony’s slender body.

  ‘Tonight you must take me to the casino, chéri,’ she purred to Kieron. ‘I am feeling lucky.…’

  ‘Then to the casino we shall go,’ Kieron agreed. ‘And we’ll take Marian with us.’

  Louise pouted.

  ‘Tante Marian does not care for casinos.’

  ‘And I think you’d better count me out,’ Briony said carelessly. ‘There’s Nicky.…’

  ‘Who is quite happy with Héloise,’ Kieron said smoothly.

  ‘Really, chéri,’ Louise said crisply, ‘English women are so strange! I would not neglect my husband for a small boy.’

  ‘Not even when that small boy happened to be your husband’s child?’ Briony said quietly and with cold contempt. ‘Please excuse me, both of you. Nicky will be waking up, and I don’t want him to wake up alone. It can be very frightening.’

  She thought for a moment that Kieron’s eyes darkened, but then his mouth suddenly twisted and he looked away, ignoring her.

  What was he trying to do? Show her how much more of a ‘woman’ he thought Louise? She told herself that she didn’t care, but she did, achingly so.

  * * *

  Briony dressed for the evening with scant enthusiasm, staring uncertainly at her reflection in the black dress. She was just about to take it off when Kieron walked into the bedroom.

  ‘Don’t tell me you chose that,’ he demanded grimly.

  Her fingers faltered uncertainly against the silk flowers she had just tucked in her hair.

  ‘Don’t you like it?’

  His eyebrows rose.

  ‘What red-blooded male wouldn’t?’

  The brief, lightly boned bodice cupped her breasts, the black fabric stark against their swelling creaminess, her small waist emphasised by the full skirt.

  ‘I was just going in to read to Nicky,’ she said nervously as his eyes slid slowly over her.

  ‘Lucky Nicky,’ was his only comment, although he added laconically, ‘Wait for me, I’ll get changed and we can go in to dinner together.’

  Nicky’s eyes widened when he saw her, and Briony laughed as he sniffed appreciatively at her perfume. One day Nicky was going to be as potently male as his father, but for now he was still her precious little boy.

  His eyes had just closed when Kieron walked into his room. He had changed into evening clothes, the narrow black trousers making him look taller and leaner, the white shirt and jacket a pale blur in the evening dusk. He kissed Nicky, who hugged him back sleepily.

  Whatever else had not turned out right, at least Nicky had his father, and it was impossible to doubt their feelings for each other. Nicky’s every other sentence seemed to contain the words ‘Daddy said’. It would be easy to feel jealous, Briony admitted, but instead she could only feel relief that some good at least would come out of this ill-fated marriage.

  Louise raised her eyebrows a little when she saw Briony, and there was jealousy in the narrowed gaze. The brunette was wearing red—a slim satin sheath of a dress which emphasised her voluptuous curves.

  Because they were going out, Héloise had prepared a light meal. It was delicious, and Briony had consumed two glasses of wine before she realised that her glass had been refilled. They had been a mistake, she reflected a little woozily as they went out to the car.

  Marian had insisted on Louise accompanying her in her car, leaving Briony and Kieron to follow alone.

  As they drove down the Grande Corniche the city glittered beneath them, the dark blue Mediterranean bristling with expensive yachts, bedecked with coloured lights.

  Kieron parked by the harbour and they walked past the glittering array of craft before turning away from the coast, placing Briony’s arm through his as he drew her across the road. The slight contact triggered off insane desires which she fought hard to quell.

  The casino was noisy and full, and Briony watched the tables, wide-eyed and awed that anyone could lose money with such careless sangfroid.

  Louise smiled at her condescendingly. They had been waiting for them in the foyer, and no sooner had they all stepped into the main gaming room than Marian had been swept off by a party of old friends, delighted to see her and anxious for her to spend some time with them.

  ‘You will dance with me, won’t you?’ Louise pleaded with Kieron. ‘We always used to dance so well together…as we did everything.…’

  ‘But now I’m a married man and must dance only with my wife,’ Kieron said dryly.

  He bought some chips and handed some to Briony. She followed his instructions carefully, but in no time at all the small pile had disappeared.

  ‘You are no gambler,’ Louise said scornfully. ‘You should have placed the lot on one number.’

  ‘Briony’s too cautious to be an all or nothing girl.’ Kieron’s mocking smile pierced her heart. ‘But I’m trying to teach her.’

  Louise wanted a drink, and as Kieron turned to summon a waiter, they were parted by the crowd. A feeling of panic came over Briony as she searched anxiously for him, and the crowd seemed to press down upon her until she felt that she was suffocating. At last it parted and she saw Kieron standing with his back to her, Louise in his arms.

  When she reached them the brunette’s smile was smug. ‘I nearly fell over and Kieron had to rescue me. Which he did most gallantly,’ she added, kissing Kieron lingeringly on the mouth.

  Something exploded inside Briony. She had nearly been crushed to death by the crowds, but all that Kieron had been concerned about was rescuing Louise from ‘nearly falling’.

  ‘It’s stuffy in here,’ she said coldly. ‘I’m going to get some fresh air. I’ll meet you by the car when you’re ready to leave, Kieron.’

  She hurried out before either of them could speak. Let Kieron have Louise if that was what he wanted. She didn’t care. Let them dance together and make love together. Let them.…She dashed away
the angry tears with the back of her hand, stumbling out into the fresh air and heading instinctively for the sea. She had just crossed the road when Kieron’s fingers clamped on her arm.

  ‘What the hell was all that about?’ he demanded savagely. ‘You little fool, you didn’t even look when you crossed the road back there!’

  ‘Perhaps I’m tired of looking,’ Briony said fiercely. ‘Especially at you and Louise. Oh, why don’t you go back to her? I’m sure she’s far more satisfactory than I am in every way.’

  ‘Except that she doesn’t happen to have borne my son,’ Kieron said softly.

  ‘Which is the only reason that we’re married, and I wish to God you’d remember that and stop tormenting me with this fictitious “lovemaking”. If that’s what you want, get it from Louise—I’m sure she would be more than happy to oblige.’

  ‘I’m sure she would, but you see I’ve set myself this goal, and I’m not giving up until I reach it.’

  They had reached the car, and Kieron unlocked it. Briony climbed in, ignoring him and yanking her seat belt across her body.

  The steep road climbed out of the town, the sea left far below. The road was deserted and Kieron stopped the car.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Briony demanded icily as he reached towards her, but the words were smothered against his jacket, his voice very dry as he murmured enigmatically, ‘Just putting into practice a little theory.’

  Her lips parted in anger, trembling as they felt the hard pressure of his, his tongue coaxing them apart so that he could savour the full inner sweetness. Something had happened to her self-control. That scene in the casino had left her vulnerable and unguarded, and she longed to bury her fingers in the thick darkness of his hair and beg him to take her to a place where nothing existed but themselves and no conscience could intrude with unwanted reminders that he didn’t love her.

  The kiss deepened and she sighed, suddenly pushing him away as she remembered how he had held Louise.

  He let her go and switched on the engine, his face unreadable in the heavy dusk. Was that disappointment shafting through her so fiercely? She refused to think about it. It was degrading to want the lovemaking of a man who was merely slaking a desire—and obviously not a very strong desire at that, or had Louise’s arrival already slaked it?

  She was barely aware of the grandeur of their surroundings. They were going back to the villa alone, and now, when it was too late, she regretted that they had not waited for the others. Kieron was merely playing with her, she was sure of that, but might he not make good his earlier threats anyway, merely as a form of punishment for her defiance. Last night after their lovemaking she had drifted immediately into relaxing sleep, but tonight, lying by his side, aware of him in every nerve, would she be able to do the same?

  CHAPTER NINE

  WHEN they went into the villa the telephone was ringing. Kieron picked it up and from the brief conversation Briony deduced that Louise was on the other end of the line. This was confirmed when Kieron hung up.

  ‘Louise wants me to go and pick her up,’ he said tersely. ‘I shouldn’t be long.’

  Briony shrugged, hoping he wouldn’t see the jealousy she felt. ‘Take as long as you like, I don’t care.’

  She heard the car drive away when she was in the bedroom, and only then would she admit how much she had hoped he would refuse to go, and yet if he had they would have been alone together in these impossibly romantic surroundings. She stayed by the window for a long time staring out into the velvet darkness of the night, and then Nicky murmured something in his sleep, reminding her of exactly why she was here as Kieron’s wife.

  It was late when she heard him come in. She pulled the covers up round her head, forcing herself to breathe as though she actually were asleep, drawing herself as far away from Kieron’s side of the bed as possible.

  She heard him moving about the bedroom, whistling slightly under his breath, her ears stretched for every single sound. It seemed an eternity before the shower was turned off and he re-emerged into the bedroom, and then the covers were twitched back, the bed depressing as he got in. She longed to turn her head and see what he was doing, but if she did he would know that she wasn’t asleep. Her throat ached with tension and as he turned over, brushing against her back she stiffened slightly, trying not to tremble.

  If it hadn’t been for Marian, of whom he was so fond and whom he wouldn’t want to shock or hurt, would he have been sharing Louise’s bed tonight?

  He moved again and she froze, her eyes opening wide with shock as he mocked softly, ‘Goodnight, Briony—sweet dreams.’

  He had known all along that she wasn’t asleep! Her fingers curled into two small impotent fists. Why had he let her go on pretending like that, making a fool of herself, when all the time.…Her angry thoughts chased this way and that as she dwelt on various means of exacting revenge, until she realised from the deep, even breathing at her side that Kieron had bested her yet again, and was fast asleep while she was forced to lie wide awake at his side, tormented by visions of him with Louise held tightly in his arms. No doubt if he had been sharing a bed with her they wouldn’t have been sleeping with half the width of it between them.

  She woke during the false dawn, wrapped in a delicious warmth, a sound like the sea in a shell pounding comfortingly against her ear, and as she wriggled languorously it was several seconds before she realised that the sound was Kieron’s heartbeat and that some time during the night she must have turned towards him and crept into the warmth of the arms that were closed tightly around her, one lean hand possessively cupping her breast. Kieron was fast asleep, dark stubble shadowing his jaw. Briony tried to move away, but his arms tightened at once, and terrified that he might wake up and find out what she had done, Briony forced herself to relax, unaware of the faint smile flickering across Kieron’s mouth as she drifted back to sleep.

  The next time she awoke, it was to the piercing sound of Nicky calling her name. She opened her eyes drowsily and saw that the little boy was sitting on the bed next to her, his eyes reproachful.

  ‘I thought you was never going to wake up. My daddy’s going to teach me to swim, and I want my breakfast.’

  Briony opened both eyes in response to this wholly male demand, tempted to tell Nicky that breakfast would have to wait.

  ‘Mummy won’t wake up,’ she heard Nicky saying solemnly, and then before she could protest, the covers were twitched back by a tanned male hand and Kieron was standing in front of her dressed in jeans and a thin cotton shirt unbuttoned to the waist, his eyes laughing as he surveyed her sleepy, tousled indignation.

  ‘Come on, lazybones,’ he grinned. ‘Nicky and I have been up for ages, haven’t we, old son?’

  Nicky nodded. ‘Daddy had to dress me,’ he told Briony accusingly.

  Briony glanced at her watch. Half past seven. ‘Poor Daddy,’ she said tartly.

  Kieron leaned over the bed, his eyes wicked as he whispered, ‘He’ll dress you as well, if you ask him nicely.’

  She shot off the bed, furious as his laughter followed her about the room as she hurriedly found clean underwear, a brief top and shorts.

  ‘Don’t be long, Mummy, ‘cos we’ve got a surprise for you,’ Nicky instructed as she disappeared in the bathroom. ‘Can I bounce on this bed?’ she heard him asking Kieron as she stepped into the shower. It gave her a faint pang to think of Kieron washing and dressing his son while she slept unaware.

  The bedroom was empty when she emerged from the shower. She made the bed quickly, going into Nicky’s room to tidy up his things. Héloise had told her that she was not to worry about such things and that she was at the villa for a holiday, but sheer force of habit had her doing the small tasks without really thinking. Already her skin had taken on faint colour—more a soft apricot glow than a tan, but her skin seemed to have a bloom it had lacked for too long, and as she sat down to brush her hair and apply a faint touch of make-up she was disturbed to see how her eyes glowed so softly. She had all the
unmistakable signs of a woman deeply in love, and if she wasn’t careful Kieron was going to see them and put two and two together.

  When she walked out on to the patio, the others were already there, Nicky’s face bursting with excitement and impatience.

  ‘Can I do it now?’ he asked Kieron.

  Kieron nodded his head, and just as Briony started to frown uncomprehendingly, Nicky burst out, ‘Happy birthday, Mummy, come and see what I gotted you!’

  Her birthday! She realised with a start that with their marriage and then this holiday, she had completely forgotten the date. Nicky was beaming with excitement, and for the first time she noticed the small pile of presents by her plate. A huge lump rose in her throat. It had been so long since anyone remembered the occasion. Kieron had got up and was walking towards her, and she swallowed the betraying tears. Marian was smiling at her understandingly, and for once she felt no inclination to shrink away as Kieron took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. As she looked up at him she knew he had been responsible for the surprise, a legacy of those long, long, hot summer days they had shared, when her birthday had been something they had celebrated with champagne and he had bought her pink roses and perfume. Even so she was surprised that he had remembered.

  ‘Open mine first, Mummy,’ Nicky demanded ‘It’s that one.’ He pointed to a small flat package wrapped in pretty pink paper and tied with silver bows.

  It was a silk scarf printed in shades of green, so beautiful and sophisticated that Briony knew Nicky alone had not been responsible for its purchase.

  ‘Daddy and I went and boughted it,’ Nicky said importantly. ‘Do you like it?’

  ‘I love it,’ Briony assured him, dropping a kiss on his head.

  There were cards from Héloise and François and a huge bottle of her favourite perfume from Marian, as well as a silver-framed photograph of Nicky.

  ‘Oh, you shouldn’t have,’ she protested impusively, kissing the older woman warmly. ‘But thank you very much. Where’s Louise, by the way?’ she asked lightly, determined not to betray any awareness of the fact that there was no gift from Kieron. Of course there was no reason why Kieron should buy her anything, just the opposite!