Ambrosine

by Noreen Harrison

  She took me to the oval standing mirror. I lowered my head. I was afraid to see what kind of monster I’d become. I hesitated for a second and then I looked up slowly. I was surprised. I wasn’t a hideous creature. In fact, I was the same. Except for the heat I felt running through my body, I hadn’t changed at all. The only thing that was different, I noticed, was the symbol on my shoulder. It was now scarlet red with a more defined outline. A sadness came over me.

  This is the end of who I was.

  “What about my friends?” I looked back at Mother. “Do I have to stay hidden from them now?”

  “Alixia, I will tell you the truth. You can be with your friends for a while, but there will be a time when you will have to leave. The pure Ambrosines guard themselves to protect the cryptic beliefs. Outsiders must never know about your immortality.”

  She came over to us. I gazed into the mirror, seeing us together, thinking this will probably be what the next portrait looks like hanging in the library.

  Openness

  I stayed hidden for a couple more days in my room, listening to Mother and Madam Cecilia telling me more about my destiny and trying to make me understand why. But, all I could think about was, what was I? I didn’t look or feel dead. How could this really be happening?

  “Alixia,” Madame Cecilia interrupted my thoughts, “we should go downstairs. A few family members are still waiting to see you.”

  “I don’t know.” I said haltingly, knowing they all knew about my deception.

  “You will be fine, I promise you. You must understand the gift you received is an honor.”

  I stood up. “Do I have to make this appearance?”

  “Yes.” Mother said, with a smile. “So you may as well come with us now.”

  “Fine, let’s just get this over with.” I slipped off my nightgown and went to the closet and grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweater.

  “Are you wearing that?” Mother asked, eyeing me.

  “Yes!”

  “But—”

  “Mother, I’m going. Let’s not go into what I should be wearing.”

  “All right.”

  We stepped into the foyer. I was surprised to see so many of the families remaining after the Gathering. Then suddenly, they became aware of my presence. The room became silent for a moment. I smiled slightly, feeling their uneasiness about not knowing whether I had yet accepted being an Ambrosine. Then Madame Cecilia said, “À la vie éternelle.” Mother squeezed my hand as the families cheered and gathered around me. They all took turns kissing my cheeks and welcoming me into the families’ Realms.

  When the initial excitement died down, I stood at my mother’s side, noticing Phillip Gautier staring at me. I could sense he was trying to read my thoughts. I pushed him out of my head. He looked at me in surprise, as I smiled at him. Then suddenly, his scent hit me.

  It was him! He was my protector!

  That’s why it felt so familiar when we touched briefly. I left mother and walked toward Phillip. He stood up and whispered something to another family member. Then he came toward me.

  “Come with me.” He said as he took my arm. We went outside and went toward the pond.

  Furious, I pulled my arm away from him and hissed, “How long have you been invading my dreams?”

  He smirked a bit. “I wasn’t in your dreams. I was in your subconscious.”

  “What are you talking about? You don’t even know me, so how did you get into my head without being there?”

  “So many questions, Alixia.” He said with amusement. “Let’s just say, the first time we met or I should say I felt your presence, was at my uncle’s home.”

  I looked at him in astonishment. “That was you staring at me?”

  “Yes, and I followed you back to your library. I was surprised to see it was an Ambrosine that was intruding on our privacy. Why would you do that?”

  “It was a photo, I didn’t invade...”

  Wait a minute…

  It suddenly hit me.

  I can’t believe it! I didn’t go back in time. I was in the present. They’re all immortal. It’s all making sense now. Charles, the Council members, that’s why Mother was upset and… Madame Cecilia, she bares the symbol…

  Phillip touched my shoulder to get my attention. I felt a jolt go through my body; much like the same passion I felt whenever Marcus touched me.

  “Who’s Marcus?” He was reading my thoughts! “Stop it!” I pushed his hand away.

  He laughed at me and repeated, “Who is he?”

  “He’s just a friend.” I replied. “He’s not part of this conversation. Anyway, I wasn’t invading anyone’s privacy. I just wanted to see what your Uncle Charles looked like.”

  “Uncle Charles? Why?” He looked directly at me; his velvet-blue eyes were hypnotic. I knew he was reading my thoughts. I let him a little, wanting him to understand that I had no idea they were all immortal. Then I felt him going deeper into my soul, and I could sense he was picking up on my insecurities about what I had become. Realizing what he was doing, I blocked him out.

  “You blocked me again?” He looked at me then said in a compassionate voice, “I can help you understand who you are.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Alixia, you can trust me.”

  “All right. I—”

  I sensed Madame Cecilia coming toward me. She took hold of my arm firmly and turned me around and said, “Alixia, come! You come with me now!” I looked back at Phillip and got into his mind.

  Meet me tonight.

  I will.

  Madame Cecilia let go of my arm, as we went up the steps back into the house. “Why are you conversing with a Gautier? It’s not safe being around their family. You know Charles has threats towards our family.”

  “But, Mother said she wasn’t sure.”

  “It doesn’t make any difference. Stay away from them.”

  “Okay.” I walked past her thinking this probably wouldn’t be a good time to tell her that Phillip was the protector in my dreams.

  She closed the door behind her. “Alixia, what were you and Phillip talking about?”

  “He asked a question.”

  “What question?” She snapped.

  “Oh, he wanted know why I was spying on them.”

  She scowled. “You have never spied on them!”

  “Oh yes I did, evidently through that photo I found in the library. It wasn’t in the past like I thought, either.”

  She stared at me. She sensed what I was about say.

  “You are immortal, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.” She said without any hesitation.

  “That’s it!” I put my hands into the air. “No explanation as to why you didn’t tell me?”

  “Alixia, I did tell you, remember, I said anyone born with the mark is immortal.”

  I looked at her, frustrated.

  “Well, I didn’t put it together until now, but you could have said something to me.”

  “I suppose so.” She shrugged her shoulders as if it were a matter of fact. “But you know now and we need to move on. Come, the families are preparing to leave and we need to pay our respects.”

  She started walking away, but stopped and then turned and said, “Oh by the way, I have a warning for you. Stay away from the Gautiers. I heard your thoughts.” I just shook my head and walked behind her.

  I entered the foyer; Mother was talking to Angel, whose luggage was by the door. I looked over at her thinking about the drink she had given me at the Gathering. I felt betrayed as I walked over to her. I took in deep breath to keep my anger in check.

  Angel took my hand and kissed me on both cheeks. “I will see you this summer in France.” She then leaned in closer to me and whispered, “No one in the family has a choice, Alixia. It’s all just part of our destiny. We just accept it without question.” She smiled at me and picked up her bag. As she opened the door, she turned back. “And, Alixia, we are honored to have you in the family. Au revoir.” She walk
ed out the door. I watched as she went to her car.

  Maybe she is right; I have no control over my destiny. But they shouldn’t have deceived me, and for that, I don’t know if I can ever forgive them.

  Finally, the last family member left and the Gathering was over. Mother, Madame Cecilia and I went into the den.

  “Alixia, sit down.” Madame Cecilia said. “It’s time for you to know who I really am.”

  “What do you mean who you really are? I asked a little baffled as I sat down.

  More secrets.

  Madame Cecilia walked over by the fireplace. I could sense Mother’s edginess. Madame Cecilia cleared her throat, “Hmm.”

  “Who are you?”

  “I want you to keep an open mind.”

  “Okay I will, just tell me.”

  She took a step and clasped her hands, looking at me with jumpiness. Then she said, “I am not your aunt, Alixia. I am your grandmother.”

  “What?” I stared at her in shock and disbelief. “You’re my grandmother? How? I mean…Mother, is…this true?” I stammered.

  She nodded.

  I stood up. “This is not right!” I shouted. “I need to get out of here away from you two!” I stormed toward the door.

  “Alixia, wait! Let us explain.”

  I turned. “No. I don’t want to hear any more. This is all too insane! Leave me alone!” I ran out the door.

  I could hear them calling me as I went out into the night toward the gardens, saying aloud with agitation, “First, they take my soul. Now, instead of an aunt, I have a grandmother. What else is there?”

  I sensed Madame Cecilia coming up behind me. I turned to confront her. “How could you be my grandmother? How old are you, anyway? You look like you are in your late twenties.”

  “Alixia, that doesn’t matter right now. You need to return. Your mother is very distraught.”

  “She’s distraught?! I’m the one that’s been deceived!” I started walking away from her. She grabbed my arm firmly and turned me toward her. “Enough!” She said fiercely. “Would you have believed me if I had told you I was grandmother when we first let you know about your lineage?”

  “I don’t know. I still can’t believe most of it now!”

  “That’s my point. You can’t blame us.” Her voice softened a bit. “We tried to give you information gradually as you learned about being Ambrosine.”

  “Are you kidding? I don’t think any of this was gradual. Let go of me.”

  “I’m not letting you go. Listen, I wish I could have made this easier for you, but the truth is we are who we are. Running away from the truth won’t change anything.”

  “I’m not running from the truth, I’m just sick and tired all these lies and secrets!”

  “Just come back. There will be no more secrets.”

  “Can I believe you?”

  “Yes, no more. So come back into the mansion.” I looked around.

  Where would I go? I don’t even know what I am yet!

  “Fine.” I said, pulling my arm away from her. “But I don’t feel like talking anymore tonight.”

  She smiled. “Come on.”

  Mother had a worried look as she met us on the veranda. “Alixia, are you okay?”

  “No, not really. I just need some time alone. Is that okay with both of you?”

  “Yes of course, take all the time you need.”

  I eyed both of them and left.

  Going into the library, I closed the door and leaned up against it. I slowly slid to the floor, overwhelmed. Bringing my knees up to my chest, I sat there, thinking.

  Why is this happening to me? How could I be immortal? I don’t feel dead. All this is so unbelievable.

  “Geez!” I pulled on my sweater. “Why am I so unbearably hot?” I asked aloud.

  I looked over at the bookshelf.

  There has to be answers.

  I got up to find the dictionary that translated names. My finger moved down the page to the name Ambrosine. I stared at the page.

  Immortal, that’s what it means!

  The secret they had kept from me was here all along. That’s what Mother meant by saying it was part of me. I started looking through photograph albums for more answers.

  The time seemed to get away from me. Millie came in looking for me. “There you are, Alixia. It’s late. What are you doing?”

  “I am just trying to understand what I am now. I‘ve been looking through these family journals, trying to decipher them to get some kind of answers.”

  “Silly, you’re an Ambrosine, that’s who you are. You will be “Une guérisseuse” like your mother, and a guardian to all of us. You will live on to protect us from the darkness and I will stay by your side helping you throughout the years.”

  “Millie?” I closed the journal. “What are you saying? You won’t be with me forever. I am immortal, not you. Don’t you understand?” I heard my voice catch and felt tears spring into my eyes. “Everyone…I love will be gone, and I’ll be left alone.” She sat down by me and put her arm around me.

  “Alixia, don’t you understand? A part of me will always be with you through the child I carry and his children after that, and so on. My lineage will always protect your identity and our beliefs. That is my destiny.”

  “Your destiny is to protect me?” I was thrown by what she said. “I don’t understand.” She folded her hands on her belly and smiled. “Remember our first meeting? That’s when our destinies were linked together. For that I am glad because the friendship and love we have for each other will never die, even when I am gone. All you will have to do is look into my child’s eyes and the eyes of his descendants and you will always see me, looking back at you with love.”

  I was overwhelmed with emotion. I felt the baby kick. I looked at her with surprise. Millie laughed and said, “I guess he’s letting you know he will be there for you, too.”

  We laughed as I patted her stomach with care and said, “I will be there for him, too.” I hugged her and helped her up. We left the library and went to find Mother and Madame Cecilia.

  They were in the dining room. Millie greeted them as we walked in. “Bonjour, Madame Ambrosine and Lucida.” They acknowledged her greeting as we sat down. I noticed Mother looked fatigued.

  “Mother, are you all right?” I asked.

  “I am fine, Alixia, I just need a little rest, that’s all. It’s been a busy week for all of us.”

  I laughed to myself that she would think changing someone’s life and replacing it with immortality was an everyday occurrence during the week.

  “Mother, come. I’ll take you upstairs.” She stretched and yawned. “Thank you.” She said, surprised at my change in attitude. “So I’m forgiven?”

  “Maybe a little.” I looked over at Millie. “Millie helped me understand a bit more.”

  “She did.” Mother eyed her mouthing, “Thank you.” Millie nodded. I rolled my eyes at them, knowing they were in cahoots with each other.

  “Come on, Mother. Let’s get you to bed.”

  “Yes, let’s go. I think after a good night’s rest I should be back to myself again.”

  Madame Cecilia eyed me curiously as I stood up, taking mother hand. “Are sure you don’t have any more questions we can answer, Alixia?” She asked.

  “No, I think all my questions can wait until morning. Hopefully, there’s nothing urgent I need to know before bed. Is there?” She smiled, shaking her head.

  We said our goodnights and Mother and I went upstairs. We were halfway up the staircase when I felt a presence.

  It was Phillip. He was here!

  “What’s the matter? You tensed up, Alixia. Is there something wrong?”

  “No, I am okay, I just haven’t gotten used to all these new sensations. I’m fine.” She frowned at me. I sensed she was suspicious. “Really, I am.” I gave her a kiss on the cheek and said, “Let’s go to your room.”

  After tucking her in for the night, I opened my bedroom door sensing Phillip, b
ut I couldn’t see him. I called his name softly and waited for a response. Nothing, He must have left. I flopped down on the bed and wondered if he would show up. I probably wouldn’t see him anyway if he is traveling.

  Lying there, I started to drift off. It felt weird. I wasn’t really sleeping. It was more like a hypnotic sleep where I could sense everything around me.

  I stirred from my sleep as I heard my name. It was the same soft voice that I had heard in my dreams every night. I opened my eyes and there he was, in the flesh, standing at the foot of my bed.

  “Phillip!” I sat up. “How did you get in here?” He moved toward me and said with a seriousness, “Through the secret passage you have that goes from your library to here.”

  “I don’t have a secret passage.”

  “Yes, you do. You didn’t know?”

  I shook my head.

  “That must be another secret they kept from you.” He stretched his hand out toward me. “Here, I will show you.” I took his hand and got out of bed. I looked around. “Okay, where is it?”

  He smiled and pointed at the closet. I walked over and opened the door. He followed behind me. I turned. “Well?” I said, face-to-face with him, looking into his eyes. I felt his sweet breath close to my lips. I lost my concentration for a second. He put his arms around me and said with a sheepish smile, “First lesson, Alixia, never turn your back on a Gautier. You know we’re dangerous, as Madame Cecilia said.”

  I pushed him away. “Funny. So how did you get in here without anybody noticing you?”

  “Follow me.” We crossed the room to the balcony doors. He opened them and said, “After you.” I shook my head and slightly smiled. “No, after you.”

  He grinned and walked out onto the balcony as I followed. I went over and leaned against the rail, looking out. The night sky was bright with the stars and the moon was full. “So how did you do it?” I asked, tuning my head to him.

  He jumped.

  “Phillip!” I looked over the rail and saw him standing on the ground. “Are you crazy?”

  “You wanted to know. Well, this is the way I came in. Come on down and join me.” He teased.

  “I can’t do that.”

  “Yes you can, just jump!”

  “Oh, I don’t think so.” I turned to go back into my room. The next thing I knew he was behind me. He took me into his arms and jumped over the railing. Suddenly we were on the ground. I caught my breath and said, “I can’t believe you just did that!”