Collected Poems

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Collected Poems Page 20

by Adrienne Rich


  Send out your signals, hoist

  your dark scribbled flags

  but take

  my hand

  All wars are useless to the dead

  My hands are knotted in the rope

  and I cannot sound the bell

  My hands are frozen to the switch

  and I cannot throw it

  The foot is in the wheel

  When it’s finished and we’re lying

  in a stubble of blistered flowers

  eyes gaping, mouths staring

  dusted with crushed arterial blues

  I’ll have done nothing

  even for you?

  1968

  TO FRANTZ FANON

  Born Martinique, 1925; dead Washington D.C., 1961.

  I don’t see your head

  sunk, listeningto the throats

  of the torturers and the tortured

  I don’t see your eyes

  deep in the blacknessof your skull

  they look off from meinto the eyes

  of rats and haunted policemen.

  What I see best is the length

  of your fingers

  pressing the pencil

  into the barred page

  of the French child’s copybook

  with its Cartesian squaresits grilled

  trap of holy geometry

  where your night-sweats streamed out

  in language

  and your death

  a black streak on a white bed

  in L’Enfant’s city where

  the fever-bush sweats off

  its thick

  petalsyear after year

  on the mass grave

  of revolt

  1968

  CONTINUUM

  Waking thickheaded by crow’s light

  I see the suitcase packed

  for your early plane; nothing to do

  but follow the wristwatch hands

  round to the hour. Life is like money

  —you said, finishing the brandy from the cracked

  plastic bathroom cup last night—

  no use except for what you can get with it.

  Yet something wants us delivered up

  alive, whatever it is,

  that causes me to edge the slatted blind

  soundlessly up, leaving you

  ten minutes’ more sleep, while I look

  shivering, lucidifying, down

  at that street where the poor are already getting started

  and that poster streaking the opposite wall

  with the blurred face of a singer whose songs

  money can’t buy nor air contain

  someone yet unloved, whose voice

  I may never hear, but go on hoping

  to hear, tonight, tomorrow, someday,

  as I go on hoping to feel

  tears of mercy in the of course impersonal rain.

  1968

  ON EDGES

  When the ice starts to shiver

  all across the reflecting basin

  or water-lily leaves

  dissect a simple surface

  the word ‘drowning’ flows through me.

  You built a glassy floor

  that held me

  as I leaned to fish for old

  hooks and toothed tin cans,

  stems lashing out like ties of

  silk dressing-gowns

  archangels of lake-light

  gripped in mud.

  Now you hand me a torn letter.

  On my knees, in the ashes, I could never

  fit these ripped-up flakes together.

  In the taxi I am still piecing

  what syllables I can

  translating at top speed like a thinking machine

  that types out ‘useless’ as ‘monster’

  and ‘history’ as ‘lampshade’.

  Crossing the bridge I need all my nerve

  to trust to the man-made cables.

  The blades on that machine

  could cut you to ribbons

  but its function is humane.

  Is this all I can say of these

  delicate hooks, scythe-curved intentions

  you and I handle? I’d rather

  taste blood, yours or mine, flowing

  from a sudden slash, than cut all day

  with blunt scissors on dotted lines

  like the teacher told.

  1968

  VIOLENCE

  No one knows yet

  what he is capable of. Thus: if you

  (still drawing me, mouth to mouth

  toward the door) had pushed

  a gun into my hand

  would my fingers have burned, or not,

  to dry ice on that metal?

  if you’d said, leaving

  in a pre-dawn thunderstorm

  use this when the time comes

  would I have blurted my first no that night

  or, back without you, bundled

  the cold bulk into a drawer

  in a cocoon of nightgowns

  printed with knots of honeysuckle …

  Still following you as if your body

  were a lantern, an angel of radar,

  along the untrustworthy park

  or down that block where the cops shoot to kill—

  could I have dreamed a violence

  like that of finding

  your burnt-out cigarettes

  planted at random, charred

  fuses in a blown-up field?

  1968

  THE OBSERVER

  Completely protected on all sides

  by volcanoes

  a woman, darkhaired, in stained jeans

  sleeps in central Africa.

  In her dreams, her notebooks, still

  private as maiden diaries,

  the mountain gorillas move through their life term;

  their gentleness survives

  observation. Six bands of them

  inhabit, with her, the wooded highland.

  When I lay me down to sleep

  unsheltered by any natural guardians

  from the panicky life-cycle of my tribe

  I wake in the old cellblock

  observing the daily executions,

  rehearsing the laws

  I cannot subscribe to,

  envying the pale gorilla-scented dawn

  she wakes into, the stream where she washes her hair,

  the camera-flash of her quiet

  eye.

  1968

  NIGHTBREAK

  Something brokenSomething

  I needBy someone

  I loveNext year

  will I remember what

  This angerunreal

  yet

  has to be gone through

  The sun to set

  on this anger

  I go on

  head downinto it

  The mountain pulsing

  Into the oildrumdrops

  the ball of fire.

  Time is quietdoesn’t break things

  or even woundThings are in danger

  from peopleThe frail clay lamps

  of Mesopotamia

  row on row under glass

  in the ethnological section

  little hollows for dried-

  up oilThe refugees

  with their identical

  tales of escapeI don’t

  collect what I can’t useI need

  what can be broken.

  In the bed the pieces fly together

  and the rifts fillor else

  my body is a listof wounds

  symmetrically placed

  a village

  blown openby planes

  that did notfinish the job

  The enemy haswithdrawn

  between raidsbecome invisible

  there are

  no agencies

  of relief

  the darkness becomes utter

  Sleepcracked and flaking

  sif
ts over the shakentarget.

  What breaksis night

  not dayThe white

  scarsplitting

  over the east

  The crack weeping

  Time for the pieces

  to move

  dumbly back

  toward each other.

  1968

  GABRIEL

  There are no angelsyet

  here comes an angelone

  with a man’s faceyoung

  shut-offthe dark

  side of the moonturning to me

  and saying:I am the plumed

  serpentthe beast

  with fangs of fireand a gentle

  heart

  But he doesn’t say thatHis message

  drenches his body

  he’d want to kill me

  for using words to name him

  I sit in the bare apartment

  reading

  words stream past mepoetry

  twentieth-century rivers

  disturbed surfacesreflecting clouds

  reflecting wrinkled neon

  but cloggedand mostly

  nothing alive left

  in their depths

  The angel is barely

  Speakingto me

  Once in a horn of light

  he stoodor someone like him

  salutations in gold-leaf

  ribboning from his lips

  Today againthe hair streams

  to his shoulders

  the eyes reflectsomething

  like a lost countryor so I think

  but the ribbon has reeled itself

  up

  he isn’t giving

  or taking any shit

  We glance miserably

  across the roomat each other

  It’s truethere are moments

  closer and closer together

  when words stickin my throat

  ‘the art of love’

  ‘the art of words’

  I get your message Gabriel

  justwill you stay looking

  straight at me

  awhile longer

  1968

  LEAFLETS

  1.

  The big star, and that other

  lonely on black glass

  overgrown with frozen

  lesions, endless night

  the Coal Sack gaping

  black veins of ice on the pane

  spelling a word:

  Insomnia

  not manic but ordinary

  to start out of sleep

  turning off and on

  this seasick neon

  vision, this

  division

  the head clears of sweet smoke

  and poison gas

  life without caution

  the only worth living

  love for a man

  love for a woman

  love for the facts

  protectless

  that self-defense be not

  the arm’s first motion

  memory not only

  cards of identity

  that I can live half a year

  as I have never lived up to this time—

  Chekhov coughing up blood almost daily

  the steamer edging in toward the penal colony

  chained men dozing on deck

  five forest fires lighting the island

  lifelong that glare, waiting.

  2.

  Your face

  stretched like a mask

  begins to tear

  as you speak of Che Guevara

  Bolivia, Nanterre

  I’m too young to be your mother

  you’re too young to be my brother

  your tears are not political

  they are real water, burning

  as the tears of Telemachus

  burned

  Over Spanish Harlem the moon

  swells up, a fire balloon

  fire gnawing the edge

  of this crushed-up newspaper

  now

  the bodies come whirling

  coal-black, ash-white

  out of torn windows

  and the death columns blacken

  whispering

  Who’d choose this life?

  We’re fighting for a slash of recognition,

  a piercing to the pierced heart.

  Tell me what you are going through—

  but the attention flickers

  and will flicker

  a matchflame in poison air

  a thread, a hair of light

  sum of all answer

  to the Know that I exist! of all existing things.

  3.

  If, says the Dahomeyan devil,

  someone has courage to enter the fire

  the young man will be restored to life.

  If, the girl whispers,

  I do not go into the fire

  I will not be able to live with my soul.

  (Her face calm and dark as amber

  under the dyed butterfly turban

  her back scarified in ostrich-skin patterns.)

  4.

  Crusaders’ wind glinting

  off linked scales of sea

  ripping the ghostflags

  galloping at the fortress

  Acre, bloodcaked, lionhearted

  raw vomit curdling in the sun

  gray walkers walking

  straying with a curbed intentness

  in and out the inclosures

  the gallows, the photographs

  of dead Jewish terrorists, aged 15

  their fading faces wide-eyed

  and out in the crusading sunlight

  gray strayers still straying

  dusty paths

  the mad who live in the dried-up moat

  of the War Museum

  what are we coming to

  what wants these things of us

  who wants them

  5.

  The strain of being born

  over and over has torn your smile into pieces

  often I have seen it broken

  and then re-membered

  and wondered how a beauty

  so anarch, so ungelded

  will be cared for in this world.

  I want to hand you this

  leaflet streaming with rain or tears

  but the words coming clear

  something you might find crushed into your hand

  after passing a barricade

  and stuff in your raincoat pocket.

  I want this to reach you

  who told me once that poetry is nothing sacred

  no more sacred that is

  than other things in your life—

  to answer yes, if life is uncorrupted

  no better poetry is wanted.

  I want this to be yours

  in the sense that if you find and read it

  it will be there in you already

  and the leaflet then merely something

  to leave behind, a little leaf

  in the drawer of a sublet room.

  What else does it come down to

  but handing on scraps of paper

  little figurines or phials

  no stronger than the dry clay they are baked in

  yet more than dry clay or paper

  because the imagination crouches in them.

  If we needed fire to remind us

  that all true images

  were scooped out of the mud

  where our bodies curse and flounder

  then perhaps that fire is coming

  to sponge away the scribes and time-servers

  and much that you would have loved will be lost as well

  before you could handle it and know it

  just as we almost miss each other

  in the ill cloud of mistrust, who might have touched

  hands quickly, shared food or given blood

  for each other. I am thinking how we can use what we have

  to i
nvent what we need.

  Winter–Spring 1968

  THE RAFTS

  For David, Michael and David

  Down the river, on rafts you came

  floating. The three of you

  and others I can’t remember.

  Stuck to your sleeves, twists of

  blurred red rag, old bandages, ribbons

  of honor.Your hands dragged me

  aboard.

  Then I sprawled

  full length on the lashed poles

  laughing, drenched, in rags.

  The river’s rising!

  they yelled on shore

  thru megaphones.

  Can’t you see

  that water’s mad, those rafts

  are children’s toys, that crowd

  is heading nowhere?

  My lips

  tasted your lips and foreheads

  salty with sweat,

  then we were laughing, holding off

  the scourge of dead branches

  overhanging from shore as your

  homemade inventions

  danced

  along

  1968

  III

  Ghazals (Homage

  To Ghalib)

  7/12/68

  For Sheila Rotner

  The clouds are electric in this university.

  The lovers astride the tractor burn fissures through the hay.

  When I look at that wall I shall think of you

  and of what you did not paint there.

  Only the truth makes the pain of lifting a hand worthwhile:

  the prism staggering under the blows of the raga.

  The vanishing-point is the point where he appears.

  Two parallel tracks converge, yet there has been no wreck.

  To mutilate privacy with a single foolish syllable

  is to throw away the search for the one necessary word.

  When you read these lines, think of me

  and of what I have not written here.

 

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