by Kailin Gow
And together they knew that he would walk in no more sunlights.
“I can't accept this,” she whispered.
“You must.” He cupped her face. “Kalina, I have already died once before. This time it will be for something worthy.”
She turned her face away.
Chapter 13
Stuart sighed as he took the road down to Greystone Wineries. It was a road he had traveled many times before, but never did the tiniest elements of things seem as clear to him as they did right now. The leaves were sharper, their definition cutting against the evening sky. Sunset had come over him – the faintest pink glimmer vanishing in the horizon as inky expanses of night clouded out even the stars. The rocks beneath him felt rough through his boots; he could hear every footstep and every crunch of every leaf deafening him as he walked. Was this to be his last night on earth? He looked up at the night and there was nothing there to comfort him, to console him.
The road took him through the outskirts of town, through the quieter parts of Rutherford. There were no lights here, no chain stores, no gatherings of students as there were in the center, in places like the Stomping Ground and the high school. It was better this way, Stuart thought. He was not sure he could bear the sight of anything that reminded him of how much life had to offer – and how quickly it would be gone.
Another crunch upon the leaves; another footstep – and every step Stuart took towards the wineries was a step towards death.
You are doing this for Kalina, he told himself. Remember the woman you love. Whatever you do, you must remember the woman you love.
He gazed out into the distance.
He remembered that when he was a young man, and afflicted with despair, he used to go into church. These were Medieval churches, then – the great and Gothic stone monoliths that dotted the English countryside in those days, with the great and intoxicating smell of incense and candles and sacred stained glass. He used to pray for the intercession of Blessed Virgin and of all the saints – his favorite was Saint Michael, who was the archangel of justice. He had felt then, seven hundred years ago, that prayer brought him closer to the divine, something at once unfamiliar and all-encompassing: paternal warmth and eternal power.
It had been nearly seven hundred years since he had allowed himself to pray. He saw the steeple of Our Blessed Lady of the Candle in the distance, and bowed his head.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
He had killed – murdered – again and again; he was a monster with a lust for blood he could not control. If Adam had rendered all mankind sinful, then Octavius had rendered Stuart as a vampire more evil still – two times the original sin.
And yet...Stuart could not help but wonder – if in his hour of need, his most sincere prayer, the Lord would not open His heart and His doors to him now. He knew he had transgressed – unwillingly, unknowingly, but transgressed all the same, become something inhuman, monstrous, trailing the sickly line between human and divine, a line only Jesus Christ was meant to straddle – he had learned all this in church. When he had been allowed to enter church.
Stuart thought of Father Botticelli, the only vampire ever to be allowed to enter a church – for he had been a priest when he was turned, and thus his soul had already been promised to God. He felt envy added to his litany of other sins.
Stuart stopped at the doors of the church. Closing his eyes tightly, he pressed at the doors. They swung open at his touch.
He stared at the empty threshold for a while, praying, willing, begging something divine to let him through.
Father, please.
As soon as he took a step he knew it was fruitless. He felt the awesome power of something beyond him rock him, shake his bones into an agonizing chaos, and then throw him backwards into the dirt, an electric current running through his dead veins.
No, even now – even with his sacrifice – he was a dead thing, an unholy thing, fit only to be banished. It would not stop him – Stuart would not let it stop him.
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been seven hundred years since my last confession.
He rushed at the door, feeling its punishment come upon him once more.
There was no use. It was too late. Seven hundred years too late.
He finished his prayer in silence and walked onwards.
If Kalina had loved him, if her Life’s Blood had allowed him to be human, he would have been able to enter a church again. He would be able to receive communion – to pray – above all things to confess and be forgiven, his soul clean and worthy of heaven. And then he realized perhaps death was the greatest gift Jaegar could give him. If he could no longer be a human, then he wished no longer to be a vampire. And if protecting Kalina – not because he loved her, as a man loves a woman, but only because he loved her as Christ had taught him to love all men, was the last thing he did, he might perhaps have ended his life with something worthwhile – something real.
Something human.
No, Jaegar could not turn Kalina into a true vampire - Stuart could not allow him. He prayed again that these twenty-four hours would be enough time.
The first thing that struck Stuart as he entered the Winery was the silence. Everything was quiet – an enormous, overhanging quiet that stifled the air out of the room. For a moment, Stuart stopped in panic. Had it been a trick – to take Stuart away from Kalina, leaving her exposed so that Jaegar could go after her on his own? Stuart shuddered. No, he thought – Jaegar could easily best Stuart – in front of Kalina , if need be. There was no reason to go through all this trouble. And besides, Jaegar would have relished the planned execution of his brother.
He heard a whistling whirl shudder throughout the room. Stuart rounded to find Jaegar sitting calmly in Gerard's old armchair. He looked content, peaceful, businesslike, as their father had, as if he ought to be smoking a cigar or chewing on a pipe.
“Jaegar...” Stuart growled.
“Hello, dear brother.”
It was the first time Stuart had seen Jaegar since he had been turned by Mal. Stuart could see the differences, subtle though they were. Jaegar's eyes were colder and harsher, now, glinting with evil. He had the same beauty, of course – the same marble loveliness that had drawn all the attention away from Stuart and towards his more seductive brother – but now evil was more palpable than ever.
“I always knew,” said Stuart softly. “That this is what you really were.”
“Tut tut, Stuart!” Jaegar pretended to be offended. “Aren't Christians supposed to forgive? Oh, wait – I forgot – you're not really a Christian, are you? I rather say you've been...excommunicated!” He laughed a great and hollow laugh; Stuart shivered.
“I have come, said Stuart.
“Sit, brother.” Jaegar motioned to another chair; Stuart felt his knees buckle under him as a chair sped like lightning under his legs, prompted by Jaegar's telepathy.
“See what I can do!” Jaegar smiled. “Exciting, isn't it? Remember when you and I used to try out new powers, Stuart? When we were first vampires? Those were good days.”
Those were days without the pain, without the guilt – the newborn days of vampires. Stuart remembered them as both the blackest and the happiest days of his life. He had never been crueler; he had never been less encumbered by guilt.
“It seems like only yesterday that Father sat there,” said Stuart. He could not look at his brother “And now what has happened to us?”
“Our father kept us in check, I suppose,” said Jaegar, looking out the window. “Ah, well – we were rowdy boys, weren't we?” His face darkened. “I always loved you, you know,” he said. “You were always my brother. Despite your folly – your naiveté. You were my brother.”
Stuart sighed. “You were my brother,” he admitted.
“Perhaps I cannot blame you, after all,” said Jaegar. “After all, we had only the same misfortune – to fall in love with the same beautiful woman.”
“Kalina...”
“Delicious – intoxicating Kalina.”
“Perhaps you are not to blame at all.”
For the first time since Jaegar's visit the night before, Stuart began to feel a twinge of relief. Had Kalina been right – had Jaegar's initial humanity shown through; had her love been able to conquer the effects of her blood?
“Then again, perhaps you are.”
In a flash Jaegar was on top of Stuart, lashing out like a snake snapping at its prey. Stuart gave a loud cry as he rolled to one side, parrying the attack.
“Well done, my boy,” said Jaegar. “Not such a fool after all.”
Stuart responded with a blow upon the face.
He always knew how it would end. Even with his punches, his blows, his attempts to wield the chains of silver he had bought, he knew there was no hope for him. Jaegar was better, faster, stronger; he was high on Life’s Blood, and its evil coursed through him – a heart pumping for the first time in centuries.
Stuart was no match for him.
And then he was disarmed, pinned upon the ground, with his neck exposed and Jaegar's fangs – bared and enormous, coming ever closer to the scratches on his neck...
Chapter 14
Stuart closed his eyes, waiting for Jaegar's teeth to sink down into his neck, waiting for death, waiting for oblivion. For a moment that hung into eternity, this death did not come. And then he heard Jaegar's voice, high-pitched and cruel, break through the silence. “It doesn't have to end like this,” said Jaegar. “You are my brother, after all. There is another way...”
“What are you talking about,” Stuart spat out through gritted teeth.
“You could taste her too...” Jaegar laughed. “You could taste that sweet nectar you want so badly. You could have everything you ever wanted. You can be strong like me.”
“I will not side with you, brother!”
“You must...” Jaegar grinned. “You will. After all, you'll have to make the choice very – very soon...”
As he lowered his fangs, the room was disturbed by a loud crash.
“Kalina?” Stuart leaped up as Jaegar looked away, distracted. Kalina had overturned one of the tables to cause a distraction. She stood firmly before them, a stake clenched in her hand, staring straight ahead.
“Go on, then,” she said to Jaegar. “Come and get me – like a real vampire.”
“Well,” said Jaegar. His face had drained; she had surprised him. “This is getting interesting.”
Stuart closed his eyes and concentrated.
Kalina – what are you doing? I tried to give you a day to live – one day – I tried so hard to save you – why didn't you let me save you?
I'm sorry. Her telepathic voice was full of pain. I couldn't let anyone else die because of me – for me. I told Justin – Maeve – told them to get out of there, convinced them to leave...but I stay, tonight. And if I die...
His heart swelled at her bravery. With her lips pursed together and the look of fixed concentration on her face as she held up the stake, she reminded Stuart of one of the famous paintings that he had seen of Joan of Arc at battle – courageous, humble, strong.
********
Saying goodbye to Octavius had been the hardest thing Kalina had ever done. She had done her best to forget him since his instruction to her to do so – the realization of the impossibility of her love. And yet when she sent him her telepathic message, she found tears streaming down her cheeks, as she had imagined – just for a second but a second so glorious that her imagination seeped over into reality – that they could be together, that the situation could be otherwise.
She had seen Jaegar and Stuart fight so often, work out their sibling rivalry in a series of brawls and duels. But this time it was different. She had seen the murderous glint in Jaegar's eye – the fear mingled with resignation in Stuart's gaze. She knew Jaegar had struck to kill – and that he would not let up until one or the both of them are dead.
“Good,” said Jaegar. His voice was light and strange. “Perfect timing – she's here! Now we can begin the test.”
Stuart and Kalina started in unison. “What test?” they asked together.
“To see,” said Jaegar. “You seem to love this vampire – such a changeable woman, aren't you Kalina? Yet you seem to love me, too. Has that changed? Or has last night with Stuart made you forget all about me?” He grinned. “Tell me, which one of us Greystone Brothers make the better lover?”
In a flash he was on top of Kalina, her stake strewn across the room and her wrists throbbing under his tight grip. She might have been able to fight him off before, but now that he had been turned her own blood overpowered her.
“No...” Kalina whispered.
“Let's see if you really love Stuart as you say you do...”
Suddenly Kalina found herself thrown back against Gerard's old arm-chair.
“Don't move,” said Jaegar, and instantly Kalina felt compulsion bind her limbs together to the chair; she could not even scream. Her vocal cords too had seized up.
Then in another flash Jaegar had grabbed Stuart, and knocked him to his knees at Kalina's feet.
“What are you doing?” Stuart rounded on Jaegar, staring at him with brotherly hatred.
“I'm giving you a gift, brother,” said Stuart. “I'm offering you that which you have fantasized about for years and years – that delicious, savory drop...seize the day, vampire! Seize the night. Stop being so noble.”
“What are you talking about?” Stuart growled.
“Drink!” Jaegar laughed. “I want you to drink, little brother. An experiment! How fun! Let's see what happens. Maybe you'll become human – as you always wanted. Or maybe =- probably – you won't. You'll become like me.”
“I won't do it.” Stuart forced out each word as Jaegar's fingers encircled his neck. “I won't let it happen.”
“Then how will you know?” Jaegar feigned sincerity. “If she really loves you? If she is worth giving up your life?”
“It's a biased test,” said Stuart. “It won't work. She's not giving her blood freely. Like with you – that wasn't a test either.”
“It was a test!” snapped Jaegar. “A test I am glad to say I failed.”
“No!” Kalina at last regained the strength to speak. “You were forced to drink my blood. And the blood from the vials was taken against my will – it wasn't the same thing at all! That blood was tainted – with anger and fear, Jaegar, with pain! If you had drunk from me directly first....maybe you would have become human again.”
She caught Stuart's eye and knew this was the only hope – distracting Jaegar, convincing him, wheedling him away from the evil that had so caught his brain.
Jaegar had stopped short. For a moment something like regret appeared on his face. “Never mind,” he said. “Why would I want to become human – when I now have all the human qualities I desire – daywalking for instance – but I can still remain a vampire if I wish it?”
“Because it means you can be with Kalina,” Stuart said quietly. “Jaegar, please – I know you loved her! I know you once loved her so much that you were willing to become human, to grow old with her, to have a life with her. It is what we all wanted, Jaegar. It is what I wanted...”
Jaegar turned his face away. Kalina's heart jumped within her – was there hope in Jaegar after all?
But before Kalina could finish her thought, Jaegar was upon her again. He had an iron grip on the back of Stuart's neck with one hand and his other hand wrapped in Kalina's hair, pulling it backwards, exposing her neck. He pushed Stuart closer and closer, using his nails to make a tiny cut in Kalina's neck.
Kalina could see Stuart inhale sharply the intoxicating element of the blood.
“Look at that beautiful neck, little brother,” said Jaegar, pushing Stuart's head ever closer. “And that magnificent pulse. I daresay I always thought – and still think, even with my heightened senses – that Kalina has one of the most lovely necks I have ever seen.” He trailed it slowly with his gaze.
Kalina could sense the hunger in Stuart's eyes; he squeezed them shut and she could still hear his desire.
No no I won't I won't do it smells so good no like violets no no I won't I want want it. Want. Want it want her – no! - want...
“No!” shouted Kalina, forcing herself and her limbs free of her compulsion. But Jaegar's grip was too strong. “I won't give you my blood like this, Stuart. It isn't a true test. You're not giving Life’s Blood a chance. You're forcing us into this – you're forcing him to become like you, like Mal! Jaegar, please!”
But Jaegar remained cool and implacable. “But I've always wanted him to turn into me, my darling,” said Jaegar. “I've always wanted that – since we were little. That's what caused such strife between us two brothers. He was nothing like me. But now we can be as twins.”
“I will never be like you!” Stuart shouted. “Seven hundred years – and I have done everything in my power to be nothing like you.”
“At least I'm giving you a chance,” said Jaegar. “A chance to be human with your love. Just to see – although I'll kill you anytime. And that will drive you mad, my dear brother. Knowing that you had a chance with her – and you still failed. That I'll get her in the end anyway.”
“Stop it!” Kalina cried. “I loved you, Jaegar. I loved you so much I would have given you my blood – you would have been made human. I thought I loved Octavius, but every time I’m near you, I can’t help wanting you, needing you. You said yourself our chemistry is explosive. You’re the one my blood cries out for. I just didn’t realize it.”
Jaegar froze. A look of longing – fleeting and ephemeral – passed over his face.
“But you've destroyed that love, Jaegar. Destroyed it with your cruelty. I care for you still. I care for your brother. Enough with the torturing – the killing – the death the pain. It stops here, Jaegar. It stops with me. End it – for all our sakes.”
For a moment, Jaegar's eyes had misted over with pain, but then the pain was gone, and Kalina could see only cruelty there.
