From This Day Forward

by Lauraine Snelling

  “I see you are miles away.” Mary Martha commented while hanging the dish towels on the rack behind the stove.

  Deborah nodded. “I’ve got a lot to think about.”

  Mary Martha leaned close and dropped her voice. “You had the Toby look again.”

  “Really, Ma, am I that obvious?”

  “Only to one who knows and loves you so dearly, like I do.”

  “I really enjoy being with Mr. Gendarme. I think we can become friends.” She turned to her mother. “But we sure grew up in different worlds.”

  “Is everyone going to the ball game?” John called from the back porch.

  “Looks like it,” Mary Martha called back.

  “Then we better get over there.” He pointed to the hamper on the table. “Is that basket going?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll take it then,” Mr. Gendarme said, picking it up with a smile.

  “Do I hafta put my shoes back on?” Mark pleaded.

  “Not if you don’t want to, but remember, cows live in that pasture the other six days of the week.”

  “Feet wash easier than shoes.”

  “It’s up to you.”

  Deborah caught the look of shock on Anton’s face. Far different, that was for sure.

  At the game, Anton made a place for himself in Blessing when he whacked the baseball over everyone’s heads and almost to the riverbank.

  Samuel held the ball up. “Good thing it didn’t go farther; we might never have found it again.”

  “Patches would have found it,” Manny yelled back from his place as catcher on the opposing team. He caught the ball Samuel threw on the first bounce, but Anton had already run across home plate, pushing one runner ahead of him.

  “Score three to two,” Solberg called. “Batter up.”

  Today, Toby was captain of one team and Joshua Landsverk the other. “You can play on my team anytime, Anton,” Toby said, slapping him on the back.

  “Thank you. What a great way to spend Sunday afternoon.”

  Halfway through the game, baskets were opened, drinks and food passed out, and the spectators visited. Small children played games started by several of the upper-grade girls, and Inga and Emmy were leading others around on Joker’s back.

  Deborah sat on a blanket with Astrid and Grace. The thought of leaving, even for a month, sat like a ghoul on her shoulders.

  “So have you started packing?” Astrid asked.

  “Yes and no. Other than my wool coat, hat, scarf, and mittens or gloves, I’m only taking one dress, skirts and waists to wear at the hospital under aprons, and—”

  “Take your woolies too,” Astrid instructed. “That wind can be so cold off the lake. You must go walking along the lakeshore, whether it’s cold or not. That horizon line seems to stretch forever.”

  “Is the hospital near the lake?”

  “No, but you can take the trolley there.”

  Dr. Johnson sat down beside her. “Ask Mrs. Korsheski; she’ll find someone to go with you. Just riding the trolleys around Chicago is an education in itself. I highly recommend it.”

  “I’ve never been away from Blessing since we came here when I was little.”

  “I was so homesick when I first went to Chicago.” Astrid wagged her head. “At least you know you’ll only be there a month. And you’ll be so busy, I hope you won’t have time to be homesick.”

  I can bear anything for a month. Deborah had been telling herself that repeatedly. She almost believed it now.

  “You’ll have lots of stories to tell when you get back. I almost wish I could go with you.” Astrid trapped a yawn. “Goodness, how can I be ready for a nap again?”

  As soon as rounds were over on Monday morning, Deborah went in to check on the schedule Miriam had posted. Who would take her shifts when she left?

  Astrid stopped beside her. “All right, what are you worrying about now?”

  “We don’t really have another charge nurse.”

  “I know. Miriam and I talked about it. Our two student nurses will take turns on the night shift, and Dr. Johnson has agreed to be on call. If there is an emergency, well, we’ll do what we always do.”

  “Whatever is necessary.”

  “That’s right. And Vera has agreed to fill in at least two shifts a week.”

  The days passed as a whirlwind. Autumn slipped in, dabbing color on the trees and chilling the night, scenting the air with fall. The first frost touched down with a heavy hand, finishing off the gardens. The harvest crew clanked back into town, and the construction crews started erecting the rafters for the deaf school roof. While the majority worked on top, David Gould worked with the other finish carpenters on the siding.

  After her shift one day, on her way home, Deborah walked out to the site to see how the building was growing. It was a good thing she’d worn a shawl, since the wind had the bite of fall to it. She automatically looked for Toby and found him with the crew on top.

  “Welcome, Miss MacCallister,” Mr. Gould called. “Watch where you walk; nails seem to be everywhere, especially bent nails.”

  “You should know,” said one of the other men on the ground.

  She stared upward. “It’s huge, the building. I didn’t realize how big it would be.”

  “It will look even bigger when the roof is on.”

  “And so many windows.”

  Mr. Gould looked down the length of it with her. “If we think we have trouble getting teachers for the Blessing school now, this will bring another influx of people who need more housing.”

  More people. Bigger hospital. Oh my. Deborah said, “I heard that you’ve decided to stay. Are you are going to build a house?”

  “It would take him forever to get it up,” another man on the ground teased.

  Mr. Gould chuckled. “He’s right, actually. No, I’m going to have it built. But thanks to these men, I will have a hand in the building and the finishing.”

  “By the time you finish the inside of this one, you will be a master carpenter.” Deborah smiled at him. “Did you ever dream you’d be in Blessing, working on the buildings?” Not only helping to finance them? She decided not to mention the money.

  “No, I never did. Jonathan’s brothers keep expecting me to move back to New York, but I’m more like Jonathan than I ever realized.”

  “Or he is more like you?”

  Gould nodded. “Like Ingeborg says, you never know what God is going to do next.”

  She turned to see a wagon of lumber pulling in, Benny on the driver’s seat. He waved and climbed down, grabbed his crutches, and stumped over to the empty wagon waiting for a driver.

  “You want a ride back to town?” he called.

  “No, thanks.” She saw Toby walking down the ladder as if it were simply a rather steep staircase. “How can he do that?”

  Mr. Gould turned to see where she was looking. “He says it goes with the territory, but I can’t do it either.” He smiled at her. “And they go up with a load on their shoulders. You see that I am working with both feet firmly on the ground. Well, back to work.”

  They wished each other good day as Toby walked up to her. “Something to see, isn’t it?” he said.

  “Up close like this is different than even from the ball field.”

  Toby pointed to the topmost beam of the roof skeleton. “Getting that ridge beam up, now that was tricky.” He pulled off his leather gloves and hooked them over the waist of his leather carpenter’s apron. “I need to go talk with Thorliff. Can I walk you home?”

  “I . . . I guess so.” Thorliff’s house is not really on the way, though . . .

  “Shut ’er down at six,” he hollered to his foremen. “So what do you think?” he asked her as they walked back toward town.

  “It’s huge.”

  “The biggest building in Blessing. From what I’ve been hearing, when we do the new high school, that will be two stories too.” She could hear the pride in his voice. “Are you really going to be gone a month?�
��

  The question caught her by surprise. “Why?”

  “Just seems like a long time to be away.” He had slowed his steps to match hers.

  What difference does it make?

  He smiled. “You know, I don’t say thank you often enough, but had it not been for you and your ma, I’d probably never have had breakfast all summer. Or clean clothes and bedding.”

  “You’re welcome. I heard Anton moved in with you. How do you like having someone sharing your house?”

  “It’s good, especially now that it’s getting dark so early. We take turns—well, Anton fixes more meals than I do, but he’s good at it. Sometimes I bring supper home from the boardinghouse. And Rebecca either sends over food or invites us for supper.” As they neared her gate, he slowed down. “If I don’t see you before you leave . . .”

  She waited for more. What, Toby?

  “Well, I hope you have a good trip, learn a lot, and don’t decide to stay in Chicago.” He grinned down at her. “I, uh . . . the hospital would be lost without you.” He touched the brim of his hat and headed for Thorliff’s.

  Deborah pushed open the gate. Now, what was that all about?

  Time passed way too quickly. Suddenly it was the end of September, and Deborah’s bag was all packed. She had said good-bye to her family that morning. Now she picked up the clipboard one last time before leaving her last shift before her departure. The clipboard was instantly snatched from her hand.

  “Enough!” Miriam was laughing, which spoiled the stern tone of her voice. “Go. We’ll take good care of your hospital until your return.”

  “My hospital!”

  Astrid appeared beside her. “Miriam will hold down the fort here. I will escort you to the train.”

  Miriam hugged her. “Safe travel.”

  Deborah felt embarrassingly close to tears.

  Near the door, Mrs. Ohnstetter called, “Deborah, you are leaving now, ja?”

  “Yes.” She crossed to the lady and leaned down for a hug. “Be good until I return.”

  Mrs. Ohnstetter cackled. She reached into the basket beside her and pulled out a thick double-knit wool scarf and hat. “Astrid says you will need this there, even in October.”

  “Oh, Mrs. Ohnstetter! These are wonderful! Thank you.”

  Gnarled fingers wrapped around her hand. “You are a blessing, child. Go and learn how to bless us even more.”

  Now Deborah was really close to tears. She took a deep, shuddering breath and walked outside with Astrid.

  The sky was gray today, but the overcast was still too thin to give rain. They walked in silence to the station. The silence continued as they waited for the train.

  Deborah pointed. “One thing about flat land, Astrid. You know in plenty of time that a train is coming.” The trail of white smoke and steam just barely showed above the trees.

  Big and black and ominous, the train rattled toward them, slowing, and puffed to a halt.

  “I made it!” Anton ran across the platform and stopped beside them.

  “But . . . the school . . .” Deborah almost stammered. “Shouldn’t you be in class?”

  “John and I agreed that this is a perfect opportunity to give my algebra class a test to see how much they know about quadratic equations. While they’re doing that, I am standing here to see you off and asking God’s blessing on your endeavors.”

  “Th-thank you.”

  Astrid hugged her. “Safe travel, Deborah. Say hello to my friends, please.”

  “I shall.”

  “All aboard!”

  Deborah turned away from Astrid, from Anton, and from Blessing, picked up her valise, and stepped aboard the train.

  There were not many passengers in the car. Deborah tossed her bag into the overhead bin and pressed against a window for one last look. She waved, her hand brushing the glass. Out on the platform, Astrid waved and dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. Anton waved, grinning brightly.

  Toby had not come.

  Chapter 29

  I cannot believe this!”

  Gerald looked up from the boot he was trying to patch. “Toby, you have to be more clear. Believe what?”

  “Deborah has been gone scarcely a week and I finally figured out what’s bothering me.”

  “That’s good. So—what did you learn? Uff da!” He popped his finger into his mouth.

  “I miss her. This makes no sense. But all these past months that we’ve been working so hard, I realized I knew where she was and that if I wanted to see her, I could do that.”

  “So did you go see her?”

  “Well, no. In case you forgot, I was working from dawn to dark, seven days a week. I’d stagger home, and there was always food and a note, and they even started doing my laundry. I had clean clothes and a clean bed and somehow I have to pay them back or do something nice for Mrs. Solberg. I mean, I know . . .”

  “You know what?”

  Toby heaved a sigh. “Many of those days Deborah was either at the hospital or sleeping. Twelve hours on duty and many times more.” Toby leaned over in his chair and brushed the dust off his own boots. While he’d gone home and changed, he’d looked forward to supper with his brother and family. After their last discussion, he’d tried to remember more about their life before coming to Blessing. “Did our father beat you?”

  Gerald started to say something but then stopped. “Yes, and our mother, until she disappeared one day. I never knew if he’d killed her in one of his rages or she’d just run away.”

  “I don’t remember him or anyone hitting me.”

  “That’s because when it seemed he might start on you, I took you and hid you in a special place I’d found. But when I couldn’t find enough food and I heard he was looking for us, I got us on that train, heading west.”

  “You never told me this before.”

  “You never asked. And I’ve tried to forget.”

  “And here the Valders adopted us. Knowing Hildegunn and Anner, I—Why do you suppose they took us in?”

  “Because they felt it their Christian duty to feed the hungry and care for the homeless. Two boys needed a home, they had a house with rooms to spare, and so we became Toby and Gerald Valders, no longer White.” Gerald had a slight smile with a far-off look.

  “What?”

  “I remember the first time we sat at their table,” Gerald said. “There was meat and canned beans and biscuits, and we even had dessert. An apple spice cake. I’ll never forget that meal. Pa filled up our plates and we wolfed that food down. He asked if we wanted more, and I said yes. We both got sick that night. I was mortified.”

  “I don’t remember any of that.”

  “We both stuck food in our pockets to eat later. We did that until Ma took our clothes to wash and found bread in our pockets. You know how stern she could be. She sat us down and ordered us to never do that again. I was so sure she was going to kick us out. That was a fear of mine for a long time. And then you, you got more spankings because you just couldn’t seem to behave. But you’d never been made to behave.” Gerald shook his head. “I think we were almost like animals.”

  “I remember chopping a lot of wood. Andrew and I. At school. Whenever we got in a fight, Reverend Solberg would send us out to chop wood. Hard to stay angry that way.”

  “Would you two like another cup of coffee?” Rebecca paused in the doorway. “You need to go up to say good-night.”

  “Thank you, I will.”

  Toby knew Gerald read to their children during the long winter evenings and always helped put them to bed. Where did he learn to be a father like that?

  When Gerald came back down the stairs, Toby watched him. His brother used to be more frail. Rebecca brought in coffee and leftover pieces of the cake she’d served at supper.

  “Can I get you anything else?” she asked.

  “No, thanks,” Toby answered. “I didn’t expect this.”

  “Why don’t you join us?” Gerald asked his wife.

  Toby had realized lo
ng ago that these two had the same kind of bond he had seen with Ingeborg and Haakan. How did that happen? Something over a long time?

  “I have a really personal question,” he said.

  “You’re my brother. Ask away.”

  “How did you learn to be a pa, like you are?” And husband, but he didn’t ask that—yet.

  “Rebecca taught me. Like she has taught me to be a good husband too. Or rather, continues to teach me.” Gerald looked at Toby over the rim of his cup. “I am so blessed. Who knew back when I fell in love with her what life would be like.”

  “Deborah could be that kind of wife, but I don’t think I can be that kind of man.”

  “Why not?”

  Toby stared at him. “I . . . I . . .”

  “You’re afraid.”

  “No! I’m not afraid. Afraid of what?” Toby felt like leaping to his feet and charging out that door.

  “You’ve never thought you were afraid, but I have known you all your life, and you were so terrified when you were little. Of everything.” Gerald sighed. “And then you got tough. On the outside, at least. All those fights? A boy who couldn’t let anyone see he was afraid.”

  “How do you know all this?” Wipe that glare off your face; this is not a place to fight.

  “John Solberg. Ingeborg Bjorklund. Reading that Bible.” Gerald pointed to the book on the small table by his chair. “There is great wisdom therein. And it says if you want wisdom, to ask for it and God will give it liberally. I know that’s a bit of a paraphrase, but where do you think they get their wisdom?”

  Toby stared at him. “I guess I never thought about it. I mean, I know we all depend on them praying.”

  “And look at all the ways God has taken care of us, many times in spite of us. What if—and I’m not saying this is so—you are afraid of commitment? You spend time with Deborah, and then you run the other way.”

  “No I don’t. I’ve been working so many hours, there’s just no time.”

  Gerald just looked at him. Toby caught himself squirming in his chair.

  And then Gerald asked the question Toby absolutely hated. “Do you love—not just as a friend you like spending time with—but are you in love with Deborah MacCallister?”