Never Expected You

by Jody Holford

  Working his way up to her lips, he paused. “No one else, Stella.” He swallowed down the word that lingered in his brain and on the tip of his tongue. Ever. No one else, ever. He could feel it, but she wasn’t ready to hear it. She wanted to stay in the moment and he could give her that much. Right now, she was his and for as long as she was, he’d take whatever he could get.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Stella ducked for cover but laughed loudly as the massive sheep dog shook off the water from the bath. She wasn’t sure how much money they were raising, but Zach had been right about the fun. She loved having so many people enjoying the property, the animals, and each other.

  “Come on, Columbo, out you get,” Stella said.

  She patted the ground beside her, encouraging the dog to jump out. Dexter grinned, his glasses slightly crooked on his narrow nose. He was enjoying himself as well and getting acquainted with far more of the town than Stella had expected to show. She’d been so worried about relying on anyone, not wanting to be let down, that she’d closed herself into a little box. Zach had made her open it, and the result was an outpouring of support. If she were the kind of woman to tear up, this would have flipped the switch.

  “I’m not sure he trusts you now, Doc,” Ed Holter, who owned the nursery in town, said. He chuckled and leaned forward, patting his knees. “Come on, boy. The good doctor made you smell better without me having to wreck my back.”

  Stella grinned when the dog jumped out, raced around his owner, then gave another water-launching shake. The heat of the sun beat down on all of them, even in the shade, and made drying the animals a lot easier. This summer-like fall was a blessing. Stella’s property was busier than she’d ever seen it. Zach had invited Declan who brought a couple of BBQ’s in the back of his pick up and was grilling hot dogs. She’d offered to pay for them, but he said it was a chance for him to socialize outside of the bar and he could talk up his business while he served.

  It seemed she was one of the few who’d been too busy getting through her workload to think about what Zach termed networking. Across the yard, Zach was tossing a ball for Carrie Ableman’s retriever, while her twin toddlers laughed and looked up at him. Looking at him was no hardship. Neither was being with him.

  Trying to keep things light and casual, without attaching weight to every little thing, was proving difficult. You want to wear my class ring or letterman jacket? She grinned at the memory of him teasing but having them both acknowledge exclusivity had mattered. More than she’d let on.

  “Sigh. He’s so dreamy,” Taylor said in a sing-song voice when she appeared at Stella’s side.

  Stella smacked her friend playfully. “Shut up.”

  Stella wiped a strand of hair off her forehead with the back of her hand. A couple of kids raced across the yard, dogs chasing after them, much to their delight. A strange happiness surged through her. She saw people every single day, but she was only now realizing the difference between that and actually socializing. If Taylor and Megan weren’t already well-established friends, they probably would have written her off.

  “I’m only sort of joking,” Taylor said.

  Stella turned her head to see Taylor’s wide grin. “He’s off-limits. For now, anyway.”

  It seemed impossible for her friend’s smile to get bigger, but it did. “Look at you committing to for now. When did you learn to jump in with both feet?”

  Stella knew her friends loved her so the teasing didn’t bug her, but it made her wonder how others viewed her. Was she that standoffish? Did she give a back-off vibe even to those close to her?

  “I’m trying not to muck up all the lines between personal and professional, and since I’ve already overlapped them, I’m just trying not to let history repeat itself.”

  Taylor hooked her arm through Stella’s and squeezed. “Mistakes help us get it right the next time.”

  “You’re as bad as Megan. I’m trying to enjoy the ride,” Stella said.

  Taylor burst out laughing and Stella realized how the words had come out. “Honey, there isn’t a woman in Brockton Point that wouldn’t enjoy that ride.”

  Stella pulled her arm away, heat rushing her face. “Have I suggested you shut up yet?” She couldn’t fight the grin, though, as Taylor continued to laugh.

  When was the last time she’d stood around gossiping over a guy? Her teens? She wasn’t in high school anymore. But the butterflies zipping around inside of her suggested something more than a crush. Something dangerous and deep. Something she did not want to think about right now.

  Behind her, Dexter was chatting with Charlie and mentioned going down to see Chocolate Chip and the other horses. Stella hooked a thumb over her shoulder.

  “I need to get back to work.”

  “It’s nice, seeing you like this,” Taylor said.

  Tilting her head, trying not to be insulted that people kept saying things like that, she asked, “Like what?”

  Taylor smiled. “Happy. Light. Without the weight of the world on your shoulders. Shields lowered.”

  “I don’t have shields.”

  Again, Taylor laughed. “Right. You don’t have shields, Thor doesn’t have a hammer, and Iron Man isn’t hot. Glad we cleared that up.”

  Stella started to reply but came up empty. Iron Man was hot. Dexter called her name so she turned, grateful for the distraction.

  “I told Charlie and a couple of the kids I’d take them down to the stable, but Mrs. Ritter wants her poodle washed. She asked if we know how to do bows in her hair.”

  He looked terrified at the thought, making Stella laugh. She waved him off. “I can’t do bows, but I’ll take care of the wash. No riding today, okay Charlie?”

  His bottom lip came up, but he nodded. He was such a good kid. If she ever had a little boy—you did not just go there. Stella took a deep breath. But some thoughts tumbled into a person’s head without warning or the ability to stop them, and her brain wondered about a little boy with Zach’s crooked smile and gorgeous eyes. Her heart felt like Captain America was squeezing it in his fist. Stella breathed through it and pasted on a smile.

  Charlie tugged on her hand. “Meg said we could maybe come over on Saturday. Can I ride her then?”

  Saturday. Zach would be out with Cindy. It’s business. And Zach wasn’t a jerk. He was a good man. He kept his word, not secrets. She could trust him. Hadn’t he proved that time and time again? Stella could entertain friends and not worry about whether or not business was turning into pleasure if he wasn’t with her.

  “Sure.”

  “Cool.” Charlie raced to catch up with Dex and the kids.

  Stella turned back to Taylor. “He’s such a sweetie.”

  Taylor looked in the direction they’d gone. “He really is. Megan got her fairy tale there.”

  Her heart pounded, like it was doubling in size, creating an intense pressure in her chest. “She did. I’m really happy for her and Adam and Charlie.”

  Leaning in, Taylor caught her eye. “Me, too. Everyone deserves a fairy tale.”

  Stella sighed. “Life doesn’t work like that, and not everyone wants one.”

  Shaking her head, Taylor took a step back. “Not true. Not everyone wants the same one. But we all deserve to be happy. However that looks for us, Stell. I’m going to get a hot dog and flirt with Dec.”

  Stella laughed. Watching her friend walk toward the BBQ, she tried not to think about happily ever afters. She really was okay right this minute. More than okay, and happier than she’d been in a long time. She looked over at Zach who was walking toward her. Knowing he was the reason worried her, but not enough to put an end to whatever this was between them. She’d avoided it because of her previous experience, but being with Steven was absolutely nothing like being with Zach.

  “You look pretty serious, Doc,” Zach said.

  Tired of everyone discussing her shields and seriousness, she ignored the butterflies hopping around in her stomach and stepped into him. Surprise registered
in his gaze just before it was covered with heat.

  His hands went to her hips and she pressed a light kiss to his mouth. She was tired of worrying about every single, little thing.

  “What’s that for?” he whispered, his forehead touching her own.

  “No reason. Is that okay?”

  He grinned. “Completely okay.”

  People were looking. She knew it. This town loved gossip and tended to add their own details to every story. Well, let them talk. Because Taylor was right. Zach was dreamy and if it didn’t last, she’d deal. But for however long they worked, she planned to enjoy herself.

  Still, she didn’t need to overdo the public affection. She stepped back. “This is a great turn out. People are donating even if they aren’t getting their dogs bathed.”

  Looking around the property, she spotted Taylor flirting with Declan who flirted right back. Megan was up to her elbows in a tub full of pot belly pig. Norman Kent had raised pigs as long as Stella had known him. He was nearing his seventies and treated them like a cross between children and dogs.

  “We should make it an annual thing,” Zach suggested, following her gaze.

  Her heart rate doubled, and she didn’t even know why. “Hmm. Maybe.”

  She felt Zach’s eyes on her and couldn’t avoid meeting them. “What?”

  “Too long term for you, Doc?”

  Surprisingly, it wasn’t. She could picture them doing this again next year. There was something about Zach that made her believe he wasn’t going anywhere. Or maybe she just wanted to believe it. But in this moment, it felt true.

  “I didn’t say that. I just think we should see what kind of money we bring in before we offer to bathe the town’s animals every year from here on out.”

  Zach reached out and played with a lock of her hair. He frowned and reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone, which must have vibrated. Stella glanced down and saw the screen said Andrew.

  “You need to take that?”

  He shook his head, slipped the phone back into his pocket, and returned his hand to her hair. There were people everywhere, but the action isolated them, pushed them into an intimate bubble where all she could see was him.

  His head lowered, but before he could kiss her, someone behind him said his name. Zach turned with a small groan, the smile still hovering on his lips. Then his face paled, his eyes widening.

  “Mrs. Mackleby.”

  Stella didn’t recognize the woman, reminding her that Brockton Point was no longer as small as it had once been.

  “It’s good to see you, dear. Your mother told me you were back, and when she mentioned you were doing a fund-raiser today, I thought I’d come say hello.”

  Zach stared at the woman like he didn’t know how to respond. Gone was the charismatic, flirtatious, but genuine charmer he’d been from the beginning. He was so still and quiet, the moment felt suspended.

  Stella put her hand on his arm. “Zach?”

  The woman turned to face Stella. “Oh, forgive me. I’m Kimberly Mackleby. I knew your father. He was a wonderful man. I’ve never been a pet owner myself, but many of my friends have sung his praises and yours.”

  Hearing about her dad was a double-edged sword that made her both happy and a little melancholy. Stella extended her hand. “Thank you. I appreciate that.” Zach continued to stand there as if he’d lost the ability to speak. “How do you know Zach?”

  Eyes darting between Zach and Stella, she replied in a shaky voice. “Oh, Zachary and my Travis were the best of friends.”

  Zach snapped out of whatever trance he was in and gave a tight smile. “That we were. You look great, Mrs. Mackleby.” He leaned in and kissed the woman’s cheek. Though he’d recovered himself, Stella could still see he was shaken.

  “Travis would be so proud of you,” she said.

  With his smile in place, Stella would have thought he was fine except she felt him stiffen beside her.

  “You’re doing alright? I really meant to come and visit. I’ve been buried in work since I got back and…that’s just an excuse. I should have made time. I’m sorry,” he said.

  Mrs. Mackleby patted his arm. “No need to be sorry. You come visit any time you like. It’s good to see you. I should go. I’ve left a donation.” She turned to face Stella. “The people of Brockton Point are very lucky to have you, Doctor Lane.”

  When she turned to go, Zach breathed in deeply and slowly let it out. Stella stared at him. For someone who’d worried about her dealing with her father’s death, it didn’t seem he’d dealt with all his own demons.

  “Zach,” she said softly, putting her hand to his arm.

  Unlike his usual response, he stayed stiff. Closed off. “We should get back to it.”

  “Stella, we need more towels,” Jaz said, coming to her side. “Sorry to interrupt, but there are none left. I thought maybe I’d throw a load on, but then we’re short a pair of hands.”

  Zach gave her a tight, phony smile and nodded. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

  Watching him go, unease clawed its way into her belly. They’d slept together. They hadn’t promised to love, honor, and cherish. Maybe she could handle this newfound living in the moment thing, but she could not, no matter how much she’d matured, handle secrets. Not if they could affect her. And seeing Zach shut down in a way he never had—even when he’d run into the jerk from his past—affected her more than she wanted to admit.

  *

  The rest of the afternoon faded into evening, and by the time the stars danced in the sky and she finally had a glass of wine in her hand, Stella was exhausted. Zach had kept himself busy for the rest of the day, like she had. He’d been in the shower when she came into the house, so she grabbed some wine and cozied up in one of her porch chairs.

  Taking a sip of the sweet liquid, she thought about how the simple changes had made everything so much easier. Perhaps there was something to everyone’s conclusion that she was stubborn. But her father hadn’t asked for help. When his wife had died, he’d raised Stella on his own. He’d helped her pay for school, run his practice, made home visits, participated in every community event imaginable, and still wore a smile at the end of every day. I miss you, Dad.

  “You want company, or feel like being alone?” Zach leaned against the open door off the kitchen. He wore loose-fit sleep pants and a dark T-shirt, his feet bare and his hair still damp. He looked tired and a little rumpled, and her insides went all warm and fuzzy at the sight of him. You’re so screwed. Stella never ran from her problems, even when they scared her, so she shifted over, making room for him.

  He sat down and put his arm around her, pulling her into an embrace that felt more like comfort than a sexual advance. It was then she realized he was comforting himself. Her heart rate whipped itself into a frenzy. But a piece of her liked the fact that, even if he had shut her out a bit today, he found solace with her near.

  “I think you hurt Travis’s mom today,” she said quietly, her head on his chest.

  He took the glass of wine from her hand and took a long swallow. “I know. It wasn’t my intention. I saw her, and I felt like no time had passed, yet everything has changed.”

  Stella took a deep breath. “That’s what happens when time passes—things change.”

  He looked down at her as he gave her back her glass. “Thanks Confucius.”

  Laughing, she leaned farther into him. “It’s okay to miss him still.”

  Zach didn’t respond. Instead, he stared out at the inky sky and Stella stared at his profile. She realized she wanted him to open up to her. Whether it was because she’d done the same with him, when she hadn’t meant to, or simply because she could see he was hurting, she didn’t know.

  “I guess it doesn’t matter how long someone has been gone. I keep thinking the pain will disappear. Then someone says something about my dad and it brings it all back. Which is weird because it makes me so happy to hear about him. People tell me stories I don’t know and it’s like getting an
other piece of him. But it makes me sad. It makes me miss him all over again.”

  Zach nodded, and Stella gripped the stem of her wineglass, digging for patience. She wouldn’t push.

  “I thought Travis and I would grow old in this town. We were friends from kindergarten. He shared his lunch with me almost every day because I never had one. He didn’t care that my clothes were torn or old.”

  When he paused, Stella breathed a sigh of relief that he was talking. She set her wine down on the little table beside her and tilted her head onto his shoulder.

  “As we got older, I used to wish his family was mine. I used to wish my mom would leave him. Now I get that she was scared, but when you’re a kid, you don’t get it.”

  Letting her hand settle on his thigh, she wished she could carry the sadness she heard in his tone.

  “When my dad died, I thought there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t even sad. That sounds terrible, but with him gone, we weren’t always wondering if he’d come home drunk or come home at all. He had a small life insurance policy and that’s how my mom got her house,” he said.

  Stella looked up. “That’s a lot of baggage for a kid.”

  Zach gave a humorless laugh. “When we moved into town, rather than living on the outskirts, some kids were a little more receptive to me. But by then, I didn’t care. I had Travis and my mom. I didn’t need anyone else. But Trav…he needed more, I guess. And after he gave me everything he had, I should have been there for him.”

  Stella turned her body so she could see him. With a hand to his jaw, she turned his face toward hers so she could press a kiss to his lips. “If you were even one-tenth as loyal back then as you are now, I’m sure you were there for him whenever he needed you.”

  Zach covered her hand with his and leaned into her touch. “Not the night he died. I wasn’t there. Maybe if I had been…”

  Stella waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. Instead of pushing him, wanting to be what Zach needed in this moment, she drew her knees up and curled closer, nuzzling her face in his neck to breathe him in.

  If he didn’t want to tell her, that was fine. But the small part of her that hated secrets and not knowing wondered why he felt like he could have stopped his friend’s death. She was about to suggest they head inside when he spoke again.