Love Letters from Heaven

by Debbie Peterson

  She felt like a small child as tears welled up in her eyes and slid down her cheeks. At once Diane gathered her into her arms and held her tight. She choked on a sob. The hurt tumbled out alongside the words she couldn’t hold back any longer. From start to finish she gave up every detail of her relationship with William, including what happened Christmas night. “Despite it all, I still love him so much, Mom.” She sniffed as she wiped at the tears. “Although I’ve tried so very hard, I can’t make that love go away. I can’t.”

  “Of course you can’t. You know you may not agree with me right now, but he loves you too, Katie. More than you can comprehend, I’d wager. Never doubt that for a second.”

  She shook her head. “No, he couldn’t. You forget, I saw him with those—”

  “No, I don’t think you saw him with anyone else at all. You only saw a disgusting illusion and deep down you know it.”

  She paused as her mom’s certainty eased the ache in her heart. “Whether I did or didn’t doesn’t matter. Not when the vision plays over and over inside my mind.”

  “Look, regardless of what false images that awful ghost might’ve put inside your head, William loves you.”

  “How could you possibly know that?”

  “Because I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Let me tell you something, Katie. There are countless women out there who would give up everything they own and then some to have a man look at them the way he looks at you. You are everything to him and that’s a beautiful thing to see.”

  She grabbed a tissue from the tissue box and blew her nose. “Oh, I don’t know about that.”

  “Well I do know. Trust me. I wouldn’t say these things if I had even the slightest doubt they were true. The last thing I’d do is give you false hope. This Gustavus Jameson character has fed you a barrel full of lies and the biggest one is Laura.”

  “But what if she was one of the women William said he loved?”

  “So what? Come on, Katie. You dated a lot of boys too. You even married one of them. Do you really think while in mortality William wouldn’t have led the same kind of life?”

  “No, I guess not.”

  “If you let the certainty of your heart overcome those fragile emotions of yours, you’ll know I’m right.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Her mother cupped her chin, tilted it upward, and smiled. “Oh, come on, Katie. Who do you trust, William or this vile Gustavus character?”

  “Even if all you said is true, it’s too late. I sent him away, remember? I don’t think he’ll come back.”

  Diane bobbed her head from side to side. “I’m sure if you think really hard, you can find a solution for that mistake, hmm?”

  “You didn’t see the look on his face when I sent him away. I’m pretty sure he won’t forgive me.”

  “Why not give him the chance to say so himself?”

  ****

  In the hours that followed Diane’s visit, Katie thought long and hard about everything she had said. Along the way she found a touch of humor in the fact her mom didn’t care that she had fallen in love with a ghost. Not—she had said—when said ghost loved her far more deeply than any mortal ever could. Katie would give anything if she could truly believe herself worthy of that love. Even if William still loved her after what she did, how long would it be before he didn’t? Just as Gustavus said, she would age.

  Katie gazed down at the open book on her lap then closed it and put it back on the table next to her chair. A knock on her door drew her attention. Who would stop by this late? Without removing the chain, she opened it, and peeked through the crack. She gasped as Donald Martin flashed a grin. “Donnie!”

  “Hello, Katie. I thought perhaps it would scare you half to death if I appeared inside your living room without notice. So I thought I would knock on your door instead. Sorry if I startled you. Do you mind if I come in?”

  She gaped at the spirit for a moment before her presence of mind returned. At once she unchained the lock. She opened the door wide and let him pass through. Not—she supposed—that he needed it. “What are you doing here?”

  His smile broadened. “Paying you a visit of course. That is what friends do after all, right? How have you been?”

  “Uh, fine. I’m fine.” She waved a hand toward the living room. “Please sit down.”

  Once Don took a seat, she sat down in the chair nearest him. As they gazed at each other she searched for something she could say that didn’t make her sound like a total idiot.

  His grin said he guessed as much. Donnie chuckled. “I can see you’re a bit bewildered, maybe even a tad worried over my unexpected visit. You needn’t be. I’m not here because the world is coming to an end or anything else catastrophic in nature.”

  “Whew! What a relief.” She wiped a hand across her brow and smiled. “So why are you here? Wait. I didn’t mean that to sound rude, it’s just that I—”

  He held up a hand. “You needn’t explain, Katie. In all likelihood I’m the last person you expected to show up at your door this time of night. As to why I’m here? Well, there are a couple of reasons. One, Rachel is very worried about you. That makes me worried as well. Therefore, for both our sakes, I thought I’d stop by and make sure you’re all right.”

  She shook her head. “I know she’s concerned. I’ve told her many times she needn’t fret over me, though. I’ve told her how busy I am right now with school and work. You see, I’ve got some difficult tests coming up and I have to—”

  “Yeah, she doesn’t buy those excuses any more than I do.”

  Heat rose to her cheeks. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Don.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. William is right. You do have very expressive eyes. They say what you might not say aloud.”

  A small breath of laughter accompanied the slight shake of her head. “Really? What are they saying to you right now?”

  “Right now, this very minute?” He tilted his head to the side as he studied her. “That you’re dying to ask me at least one question and maybe more. Am I close?”

  Katie’s smile faded away as she gazed at her companion.

  “Come on now, don’t be afraid. You can ask me anything you wish. There now. I’ve laid a golden opportunity in your lap. I’d take it if I were you. After all, you may never get such an offer again.”

  Her heart picked up its pace. She did have questions. A ton of them actually. She swallowed hard as she gathered her courage.

  “Even at her age, Rachel is still a very beautiful woman, don’t you think?” The words fell out of her mouth before she could put her questions in the order she wanted.

  He grinned. “Not quite the subject I expected, but yes. I think Rachel is the most beautiful woman God ever created.”

  “Will you still think so twenty, maybe even thirty years from now?”

  For a moment Don didn’t say anything. He simply gazed into her eyes. After a time, he nodded. “Is that what this is all about, Katie? Is the inevitable result time has on the mortal body the reason you sent William away?”

  “Well, not entirely—but shouldn’t that at least be a concern?” she countered.

  “Not in the least. Let me tell you something. When I look at Rachel, I see the woman I love. I see her beautiful spirit and every facet of her being which that spirit encompasses. The shell of her mortal appearance cannot in any way mask the beauty that lies beneath it. Now, if you should ask, you’d hear a similar answer from all those who are at this time in love with a mortal.”

  “You speak as if there are a host of such couples. William did too. But are there really as many as you say?”

  “There are far more of us than what you might think there are. I’ll leave it at that.” Amusement filled his eyes as he gazed into hers. “Perhaps one day we’ll all get together and have a huge party somewhere. Maybe we could even reserve Disneyland for an evening. I hear they do that. If so, the Haunted Mansion would have nothing over on us, right? We could really giv
e it a run for its money.”

  “Sounds like a lot of fun. I’ve always loved the Haunted Mansion you know. It’s my favorite ride—” She dropped her gaze. “But I think you’ll all have to go on without me.”

  Don didn’t respond. When the silence became uncomfortable she looked up at him. His gaze penetrated every portion of her being.

  “I suppose that brings us around to the second reason for my visit.” He leaned toward her and clasped his hands loosely together. “I’ve yet to thank you for the part you played in bringing Rachel and I together. I’d like to do that now. Without you, we wouldn’t be in the glorious place we are at this moment.”

  She shook her head. “You don’t have to thank me, Donnie. I found it such an amazing pleasure to help you both.”

  “Still, what you endured for us couldn’t have been easy. Of course William had a hand in it as well. Because of that, I just can’t sit back and do nothing for the two of you. So—” Don took a thick book from out of the side pocket of his uniform pants. He gazed at it for a moment before he placed it in her hands.

  The book looked like something straight out of an elaborate, spared-no-expense, top-of-the-line fantasy film. An intricate pattern of golden spirals, intertwined with beautiful silver leaves, bordered all four edges of the umber colored cover. She had never seen anything like it. The edges of each page were all trimmed in gold as well. “What is this?”

  “William’s journal.”

  Her mouth dropped. “His journal? Why? Did he ask you to bring it to me?”

  “Why? Because I know without any doubt whatsoever you should read it.” He paused as he searched her eyes. “Since he’s quite busy at the moment, he doesn’t know I borrowed it. He certainly doesn’t know I’ve brought it to you. At least for now we must keep it that way. I’ll return for it in the morning and put it back where it belongs. If I’m lucky, he won’t have missed it while you have it in your possession. As you can see, there are a fair number of pages there. So if you want to read them all, I suggest you get started now.”

  With that, Don winked and disappeared. Katie gazed at the cover for quite some time before she opened the book. She fanned through the beautiful white pages. They were filled with words written in golden ink in a definite masculine hand. Katie took in a deep breath and slowly released it as she turned the pages back to the beginning. She gazed at the opening line on the very first page. As she did so, tears filled her eyes.

  My dear beautiful Katie Simone Adelton, at long last I have found you…

  Chapter Eighteen

  The tears spilled over and trickled down her cheeks, blurring the words. At the moment, reading was impossible. She brushed the tears away then blinked until the passages shot into focus. A sweet sensation of warmth and peace engulfed her. She no longer felt she shouldn’t read William’s private journal without his consent. Rather, she suddenly felt she must.

  With the greatest of care, she cradled the open book against her breast. She inched all the way back against the headrest and settled deeper into the cushions. Katie drew her legs up on the sofa and tucked them beneath her as she gazed at the first letter in William’s journal.

  My dear beautiful Katie Simone Adelton,

  At long last I have found you! This in fulfillment of a promise I made you in another time and in another place. I cannot express the joy that filled my soul as the light within your spirit in an absolute and irrevocable way, interlocked with mine. No matter how far one might look, I’m sure a more perfect fit could not exist between two people. I didn’t know such elation existed until that moment in time.

  The thing that brings me the most joy? Isaiah said one day—and maybe in the not too distant future—the light within you would recall mine. If not in full remembrance, then at least in part. I give you my solemn vow here and now, I’ll work toward that goal with all the fervor of my being.

  Katie closed her eyes. For a few minutes she relived the precious memory William shared with her underneath the mistletoe. All of the feelings she experienced Christmas night returned again and with an intensity that caught her off guard. Everything inside cried out for her soldier in the hope he would hear and respond. After what she said and did to him that same evening, could she even expect it? Probably not, but she could hope, couldn’t she? She waited for several agonizing minutes.

  He didn’t hear her, nor did he come.

  “Oh, William, what have I done to you—to us?” The question gnawed at her heart as she returned to the journal.

  Page after page, William expressed his deep love for her in one way or another. His letters made her laugh. Some of them touched her heart so deeply she cried. At times they called up memories long forgotten. With not even half the pages read, the journal promised so much more. She glanced up at the clock. The hands moved toward the dawn. To finish before Donnie returned, she silenced her thoughts and turned over the page.

  Dearest Katie,

  The raging storm cancelled your trick-or-treat plans this Halloween. When your mom broke this news, you knitted your little fingers together. You dropped your gaze to the floor and bravely fought back the tears. Without a word of protest, you nodded. Nonetheless, you looked so devastated. That look must’ve tugged at your daddy’s heart just as it tugged on mine. In a single instant Andrew turned the tide and saved Halloween for you. Without a word of explanation, he grabbed his keys and left the house. He returned a short while later with what he deemed “scary movies ill-suited for the faint of heart.” Therefore, he said, perhaps you might want to leave the room? You bristled over the suggestion and gave him “the look.” I laughed outright when you told him that he rather than you might want to leave the room when you played them.

  While you sorted through the movies, he filled the largest bowl he could find with everyone’s favorite candy. He also insisted you wear your costume because, said he, it wouldn’t be Halloween without costumes. Everyone in the household joined in the fun as did the friends and neighbors he invited over. You were by far the most adorable little witch I have ever seen.

  You know what though? Those movies worked their intended magic in a most unexpected way. By the time you toddled off to bed, you were scared half to death. You thought any number of monsters had hidden underneath your bed, inside your closet, or outside your window. Although you couldn’t hear or see me, I promised you I would keep you safe. You gave me such a sweet smile when I said I would banish all evil monsters from your room. I vowed I would send them so far away, they’d never find their way back. That brief connection between us took me by surprise. I took hold of your little hand and held it until you fell into a deep, peaceful sleep. The interesting thing? You curled your fingers around mine in return. Dare I believe I am finally making progress?

  Katie remembered the Halloween he spoke of. Because of those movies, every shadow in her bedroom had become something sinister. So did the windblown branches that terrified her beyond reason. All throughout the night they scratched at her window. That night she knew her dear friend—William—truly existed. If he hadn’t, then without a doubt in her mind, the zombies, vampires, mummies, and werewolves would’ve torn her limb from limb. The memory as well as the conviction brought a smile to her face.

  Dearest Katie,

  At last you heard the song I so desperately wanted you to hear. That song spoke the words of my heart far better than any other I have heard to date. As I wished, the lyrics found their way deep inside you, just as they had within me. I believe it no less than a miracle the song had been included in a ghostly movie your mom loved. She bought the film and invited you to watch it with her during the lazy afternoon hours. With time on your hands, you accepted the invitation. I’m so glad you did.

  As I sat next to you there on the sofa, “Unchained Melody” began to play in the background. At that delightful moment, I asked you to listen to the words—really listen—for they were mine. To my utmost delight, you did. You must’ve mulled them over because at the end of the movie, you a
sked Diane if she knew the name of the song. She did and gave you the name as well as the artist. You hurried off to the store and bought it. At the risk of driving your mama crazy, you played it countless times. So much so that before I left you that evening, you could sing every word. Did you hear me sing it with and to you? Could you feel even the smallest portion of the love I have for you as I did so?

  She looked up from the letter. Is that why she loved the song so much? The thought sounded as reasonable as any other. Besides, that particular reason made her feel better. As she dropped her gaze on the right hand page, a familiar name caught her eye.

  I suppose I knew deep down inside that one day some lucky guy would take you in his arms. That he, and not me, would give you your first real kiss. Though I knew it, I guess I didn’t prepare myself well enough to see it happen. I think if I could’ve somehow stopped Paul Adamson without an obvious intrusion on my part, I would have. Someone may as well have kicked me in the gut for the way I felt as he pressed his lips against yours. My own fault though, because I could’ve spared myself the heartache if only I’d left you sooner. After all, I should’ve known he’d end your evening that way. What man in his right mind wouldn’t have? How I wished I could have been that man.

  Ah, Katie, now that he’s awakened the woman inside the girl, will you ever remember me now? If you do, will it even matter? Will you choose someone who can hold you with warm tangible hands over someone who cannot? At some future date will the desire for a husband and children become more important than the love we have ever had for each other?

  The letter tore at her heart. In a vague sort of way, William mentioned the men in her life the night he had kissed her for the first time. Yet she didn’t understand—until this very moment—his deep distress and utter devastation because of them. She could only imagine what he must’ve felt as he witnessed the parade of boyfriends she’d had throughout her life. What about her marriage to Chad? William suffered the same pain she did when Gustavus showed her the images of those women. She knew that now. The only difference? For the need of revenge a hateful, twisted entity created brutal lies so he could tear them apart.