Finally My Forever

by Brooke St. James

  I took another sip of my coffee and stared blankly at the chair in front of me. It was the first brisk day of fall, and I had on a tank top and a loose, grey sweatshirt with a huge open neck that hung off of my shoulder. I knew I looked like a mess, and I was thankful that Trish didn't care. She and I met a year ago when we were doing our student teaching at the same high school and had hit it off instantly. We were both in our first year of teaching now, but at different schools. I was teaching physical science at Roosevelt High, and she taught English at Reagan.

  "It might be a bad day to tell you this," she said, "but one of my roommates just told us she's moving out in a few weeks. She's going to live with her boyfriend."

  I was still living with my mom and stepdad. I was 22 now and well aware of the fact that I should probably look for a place of my own—especially now that I had a real job. Moving in with Trish wouldn't be a bad option, actually. She lived in a 4-bedroom house with three roommates. I definitely wasn't ready to live in a house by myself. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be.

  "What about Roscoe?" I asked.

  "None of us have dogs, but I don't think the landlord would care. He's potty trained, right?"

  I nodded.

  "I'm sure you'd have to pay a pet deposit or something. I'd have to look at the lease."

  "Would your other roommates mind?"

  She shook her head. "I don't think so."

  "How much is rent?"

  "Six fifty, but the bedroom you'd have has its own bathroom."

  I loved her house. It was in a great neighborhood. I loved her roommates for that matter. I knew it was Brittany who was moving out to live with her boyfriend, because her other two roommates were guys. I'd met them both several times and liked them a lot.

  I was relieved to have something else to think about besides the dream. "Do you mind if I think about it for a day?"

  "Not at all," she said. "We're not going to put an ad out or anything. If you don't want it, Ryan and Isaac both said they know someone to ask."

  "Don't let them ask just yet," I said. "I think I might want it. I just need a day to think about it."

  I relaxed onto the couch with my cup of coffee and took a few sips.

  "Just think about paramedics, and cops, and doctors," she said, obviously still concerned about my dream. "Think about all the messed up stuff they have to see every day." She paused and shook her head absentmindedly. "They must get immune to it."

  "That's why I'm a teacher," I said. "I can't imagine getting confronted with tragedy every day. I wouldn’t be able to leave the house. I don't know how they do it."

  In the four years since it happened, the trauma had decreased significantly. I went to college, got a job, and lived a somewhat normal life. It was mornings like this that were hard.

  The dream was even more disturbing than the reality had been, and it always made the memory so fresh in my mind. "I'll be fine," I said. "Who knows, maybe last night was the last time I have that dream."

  "Maybe so," she said with a smile. "Maybe your new bedroom will only allow sweet dreams."

  I started to ask what she meant by new bedroom but then realized she was talking about the one at her house. I smiled.

  "Excuse me, did you volunteer at the Happy House?" I heard a woman's voice say from my right side. Her voice was soft and tentative, and I assumed she wasn't talking to me, but somewhere in the back of my mind I registered Happy House. I knew I'd heard that somewhere before. I glanced in her direction and noticed a lady sitting at a table, swiveling in her chair to face me. She had a familiar smile. Wait. She was Claire Bennett.

  A flood of memories washed over me as I looked at her. I must have been staring blankly because she said, "Are you Mike Murphy's daughter?"

  I managed a smile and a nod. "Step daughter, yes."

  "I'm—"

  I cut her off. "Mrs. Bennett. I remember you."

  "It's so good to see you," she said. "How have you been?"

  "Great," I said, which was only a little lie.

  "Thomas is going to be thrilled to see you. He talked about you for months after you helped out that day."

  "Is he here?" I asked, looking around. "He's with his sister at the counter getting our food."

  She gave me a huge, goofy smile. "I'm the official table saver."

  I felt like I was in the twilight zone, but somehow managed to remember to introduce Trish. They were greeting each other when Thomas and his little sister Emily walked up carrying trays. I thought of her as 15 because Thomas told me that's how old his little sister was, but obviously time had passed. She was a beautiful girl who was, if my first grade math was correct, 20 now.

  "Thomas, look who it is!" Mrs. Bennett said. I didn't want her to put him on the spot. I knew there was no way he would remember me after such a long time. I unfolded my legs and stood up with every intention of reintroducing myself.

  "Carlyyyy!" he said. He was holding a tray with a sandwich, and he raised it over his head in his usual greeting.

  "Be careful, Thomas. Watch your food," Emily said cringing up at the tray. He quickly set it on the table in front of his mom and crossed over to me with his arms held open wide.

  He hugged me with such love and relief it was as if I was a long lost friend—someone he'd been waiting desperately to see again. I was already on edge emotionally, and there was such love in his embrace that tears rose to my eyes. I tried to hold them back but I couldn't. I blinked hard, trying to clear my vision.

  Chapter 7

  When Thomas finally let me go, I bent to get my coffee so it wouldn't be so obvious that I was feeling overwhelmed. I had to swallow hard and clear my throat before I could speak. I stood up with my coffee in my hand and a huge smile on my face. Mrs. Bennett and Emily were busy getting the food situated on the table, but Thomas just stood there staring at me.

  "You don't look the same," he said. I ran a hand through my hair nervously.

  "Well, it's been a few years, hasn't it, Thomas?" Mrs. Bennett chimed in, still distracted by the food on her table. Then, her head came up to regard me. "Have you met Emily?"

  "No ma'am," I said. I looked at Emily. "I think you were away at camp the day I met the rest of your family."

  "It was when we had that work party getting the house ready," Mrs. Bennett said.

  Emily made a regretful face like she had no idea what we were talking about.

  "I think it was cheerleading camp," I said.

  Emily smiled and nodded even though I was pretty sure she still didn't remember. She stepped towards me, extending her hand. She had on a stylish sweater with leggings and boots. A scarf and several necklaces tied the whole thing together. I looked like a big couch potato compared to her. The thought made me adjust my hair again before I shook her hand.

  "Emily," she said smiling.

  "Carly," I replied.

  Claire glanced our way. "Emily's studying English at San Antonio College."

  "That's what I did," Trish said from her spot on the couch.

  "No kidding!" Emily said, smiling at her. "Are you done?"

  Trish nodded. "I'm teaching at Reagan now."

  "That was my high school," Emily said.

  Trish smiled. "I took Mrs. Henderson's place."

  "That old coot finally retired?" Emily asked laughing.

  "Emily Nicole!" Mrs. Bennett scolded, looking up from her food.

  "It's okay," Trish said, craning her neck so she could see past me to Mrs. Bennett. "She was like six hundred years old when she retired. She even called herself an old coot."

  Emily and Trish both giggled, but my attention was focused on Thomas who was staring at me intently. He almost seemed sad.

  "You didn't come to the Happy House for a long time," he said. "Where'd you go?"

  "I knowww, I need to come see you guys, don't I?"

  "Today?" he asked, in all seriousness.

  Emily took her spot at the table across from her mom, but Thomas stood next to me. I stammered, wondering wha
t to say or if he was serious.

  "We're not going to be there today, Thomas," Mrs. Bennett said. "Remember?"

  "Tomorrow?" Thomas asked. He stared at me, waiting for my answer.

  "Tomorrow's Sunday, Thomas. The house is closed," Mrs. Bennett said.

  "When are you coming?" he asked, not taking his eyes off me.

  "I didn't get to meet you yet," Trish said.

  I could tell she was trying to give me some time to figure out a way to gracefully get out of doing whatever Thomas was asking. I was thankful she was nice enough to intervene, but part of me wanted to check out the house and was glad Thomas was excited to have me back.

  "My name is Thomas Gabriel Bennett," Thomas said to her, shaking her hand. "Are you friends with Carly?"

  "I sure am," Trish said. "We were teachers at the same school last year."

  Thomas looked straight at me as Trish sat back onto the couch. "You're a teacher?" he asked.

  "Yep."

  Mrs. Bennett had a mouth full of food, but she looked up from her table. Using a napkin to cover her mouth when she spoke, she said, "Where do you teach?"

  "I teach science at Roosevelt."

  "You teach science experience?" Thomas asked.

  "It's ex-peri-ments," Emily corrected.

  "I teach experience too," I said, winking at Thomas. "They're very similar."

  "Can you show me something?" he asked, a look of excitement washing over his face.

  "Oh, that's an excellent idea," Mrs. Bennett said. "If you ever wanted to volunteer, I'm sure everyone at the house would love to watch a science experiment."

  Thomas began clapping his hands. He was so excited at the thought that there was absolutely no way I could deny him.

  "Of course," I said. "I'd love to come by and talk science sometime."

  "Today?" Thomas asked. He looked at his mom who was leveling him with a look that said he knew better. "Oh, yeah, not today," he said, smiling.

  Mrs. Bennett reached onto the back of her chair and began digging in her purse. She pulled out a business card with the contact information for the Happy House written on it. She handed it to me before quickly changing her mind and asking for it back. She pulled out a pen and wrote something on the back of it. "This is my cell," she said. "Maybe we can set up a time for next week or the one after."

  Thomas sighed as if that seemed like an eternity. I couldn't help myself. I reached out to hug him again. It made me feel so good that he was excited to see me, especially after what a long night I had.

  Mrs. Bennett gave a little smile at the sight of us hugging, but continued, "We have arts and crafts Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 4pm. We always have a good turnout for that. Maybe you could do something right afterwards at around 5. I'm sure a lot of people would stay for a science experience." She winked at Thomas who still had his arm around my shoulder.

  "When are you coming?" Thomas asked pulling back to look at me.

  "I'm not sure yet, but it'll be soon. I'll call your mom and set up a time."

  "You look different," he repeated, staring at me.

  I smiled. "You look different too. You got a haircut."

  Thomas touched the side of his head. "Yeah, I got a haircut."

  "You need to come eat your lunch, Thomas," Mrs. Bennett said. "Emily and I are going to be done before you even start.

  "We saw Carly here!" he said, squeezing my shoulder again.

  "I'm glad I saw you too, Thomas," I said, leaning over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "You made my day."

  He looked at me like he wasn't quite sure what the phrase meant.

  "Come eat and let Carly get back to her coffee," Mrs. Bennett reminded him.

  He nodded and hugged me again. He held onto me as I pulled back, seeming reluctant to break contact.

  "I'll see you soon, I promise," I assured him.

  He nodded and went to the table to join his mom and sister. Trish and I settled in on the couch and had a whispered conversation about work and the possibility of me moving in with her until the Bennetts left. I stood up to hug them all again when they said goodbye and promised Thomas that I'd be seeing him soon.

  "How'd you know them?" Trish said when they left. They had been sitting close enough that she hadn't dared ask that question earlier.

  "I got in trouble the summer before my senior year of high school and my parents made me do a day of community service at this house the Bennetts built. It's a gathering place for people with disabilities—somewhere for them to go to just have fun and hang out. Anyway, they were finishing it up, and they had a volunteer workday. I painted a bedroom and a bathroom. It's called the Happy House. Thomas named it."

  "Where is it?" she asked.

  "Over in Stone Oak—not too far from Reagan."

  "That's cool," she said. "They seem like a nice family."

  "They are," I said. I sighed and stared straight ahead, lost in thought my few seconds.

  "What?" she asked.

  A smile touched my lips. "I had a huge crush on their other son for all of one day."

  "A one day crush? That's not very long."

  "Yeah, it was just until I found out that he was already taken by a perfect little blonde sorority girl."

  "What's his name?" she asked.

  I got lost in thought again, remembering how it happened. "Micah," I said wistfully. "The day I had a crush on him was the same day I met Zeke."

  "Zeke from the dream?"

  I smiled and rolled my eyes at her knowing she knew there was no other Zeke in my life.

  "I knew Zeke a little from high school since we both went to Warren, but I didn't really talk to him until the night I went to a bar to watch Micah's band play. I figured out he had a girlfriend, and I started talking to Zeke."

  "So Zeke was a rebound?" she asked.

  I chuckled. "I don't know if you can call it a rebound since nothing ever existed between me and Micah."

  "So let me get this straight. You met Micah when you were punished and had to do community service. You fell in love and went to go see his band play at a bar. That's where the sorority girl showed up, so you forgot about Micah and started dating Zeke."

  "That's about right, except for the me falling in love part. Infatuation was more like it. But it was impossible not to be infatuated with him. He was the singer in a band, and his face looked like the definition of perfect."

  "So, what's he doing now?" she asked.

  I glanced at her like she had lost her mind. "How am I supposed to know that? I never saw him again after that night at the bar. He's probably married with kids by now."

  Her brows furrowed. "How old is he?"

  I shrugged. "Probably a couple of years older than me," I said, as if details about him weren't etched into my memory.

  "I'm sure he's not married," she said.

  "It doesn't really matter."

  "Sure it does. What if you run into him when you go to teach that class next week?"

  "I won't," I said. I knew that wouldn't happen. I had written him off years ago. "Micah Bennett was the furthest thing in my mind when I agreed to volunteer."

  Okay, so if I'm being entirely honest, maybe he wasn't the furthest thing from my mind. But I knew in my heart it would never amount to anything, so whatever thoughts I had about him didn't really count.

  "I like Thomas," I said, honestly. "The only reason I agreed to do the class was for him."

  "Yeah, but it might be a bonus if you got to hang out with his big brother a little bit," Trish said, raising her eyebrows.

  "Micah's the little brother," I said. "Thomas is older than him."

  "Really?" she asked.

  I nodded.

  "He's definitely not married with kids," she said, narrowing her eyes at me.

  I laughed. "Stop."

  "Stop what?"

  "Stop acting like something could happen. You're just gonna make me get my hopes up and he's an untouchable."

  "What's that mean?"

  "I
t means, he's untouchable, just like it sounds. He's like Liam Hemsworth, Channing Tatum, Ryan Gossling, Chris Evans… you get the picture."

  "Do they need someone to volunteer to teach an English class at this house?" she asked with wide eyes.

  I giggled and slapped her leg.

  "I think you should get dressed for the occasion just in case he's there," she said. "You haven't gone out with anyone since I've known you. It's about time you start dating."

  I let out a defeated sigh and shook my head. I thought about all the baggage I was stuck carrying around with me thanks to Zeke.

  "Don’t start with the poor me crap," she said, seeing me looking hopeless.

  "What? Nobody should have to see what I saw."

  "You're absolutely right, Carly. Nobody should have to see that. It sucks. What he did was selfish, and now you're stuck with the repercussions of it. But you know what? Get over it. Everybody has seen some crappy stuff in their life. Imagine cops who have to see that stuff all the time."

  "Yeah, but it's not their boyfriend."

  "Maybe sometimes it is. You think you're the only one who's ever found someone they loved who committed suicide? There's probably a whole support group online for people like you."

  "I'm not trying to be dramatic or complain," I said feeling somewhat ashamed. "It's just fresh in my mind since I had the dream and everything."

  "I'm not saying it doesn't suck. I'm sure it does. I hate it for you that you had to see that, and it's terrible that it sticks with you for so long. I just don't want to see you pass up the opportunity to meet someone new."

  "I'll just start with teaching the class," I said. "If Thomas' ultra hot, untouchable baby brother happens to be there, then great. If not, then that's great too."

  "That's right," she said. "But it won't hurt to put on a little lip-gloss just in case."

  Chapter 8

  I made arrangements with Mrs. Bennett to go to the Happy House the following Wednesday afternoon at 5. She made sure to tell me not to stress about bringing complicated materials. She said they'd enjoy just about anything, even something on an elementary level.

  I asked her if Thomas had ever seen the Mentos and Coke experiment, and she said he hadn't, so that's what I decided to bring. She asked if she could bring anything to help me out and I told her a couple of sawhorses and a long piece of wood might come in handy, but it wasn't necessary. She said she would see what Jesse could dig up in the garage.