by Jill Cooper
“Your special flower. The final gift your mother left for you before she died from her battle wounds. An angel, much like Cathal, killed her. They took her from me—my faithful queen. And they robbed you of your mother.” Lucifer stroked a tendril of my hair.
My flower, the unique gift left to me by Mother. I remembered staring at it for hours as a child. Wondering what my mother must have been like. What kind of demon would it take for Lucifer to procreate with? What kind of demon could love him?
Or had it all been about power and prestige?
Would she have protected me from his wrath?
“Its health is failing because you haven’t taken your place in the inner court yet, Amara. We can’t let your mother’s gift die, can we? She would want you to take your place at my side.”
His words sounded like truth, but I never knew if I could trust him. I turned my eyes away from him and the rose. They swept toward the door and I thought of Cathal. Angels had hurt so many of us, yet he thought I was the villain in all this? I wanted to return to the dungeon and make him answer for his crimes.
“The gladiator games for your hand in marriage will be announced tonight at your banquet. You will accept the challenge and you will do so, dutifully.”
“I’m not ready to be married.” I swallowed hard. “Father.”
Lucifer’s fury burned hot in his eyes. His black wings exploded with ash and basked in a red glow. Larger and more powerful than my own, I was hypnotized by their strength and beauty. “You’re as ready as you’re ever going to be, Amara. Cross me on this and you will find out that my torture methods are much better than your own.” He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand.
I shivered because I remembered. My screams as a child still haunted me late at night when I couldn’t sleep. I was supposed to be strong. Lucifer shouldn’t make me quiver with fear, but he did. Even though I loved him, I feared him.
“As you wish, Father.” I held my breath to break the hold he had on me, but there was no breaking such a hold. “I will do as you say. Forever and always.”
Slow and steady, he kissed my lips to seal our promise in fire.
And it burned.
****
The banquet hall was a pristine room of luxury and riches. Golden columns stretched up toward the vaulted dome ceiling for miles. Mirrored tile floors stretched on for days and tables draped in red satin cloth were covered with the finest food a demon could craft. Pastries, blood, meat. It was everything a girl could ask for.
The room smelled of smoke and fire. Music, strummed on harps, welcomed us down the grand spiral staircase made of bone china. Lucifer held my hand up high as we took to the center of the dance floor. One hand on my waist and the other held my hand tight; we danced. Lucifer smiled and begged me to do the same with his eyes.
I was constricted by the fires of my own personal hell that had nothing to do with this place. Going topside was the only time I could be alone, be truly me, and now Lucifer wanted to take that from me? Hell was a prison sentence. Parties, responsibilities and governing wasn’t what I wanted.
But he didn’t care, just wanted me at his side. A little piece of property, that’s all I was. A sign that Lucifer was so powerful; he could sire a child even though it broke all of God’s natural rules.
I was a blight.
He was my master.
A rush of panic struck. I might never get to leave hell again. I’d end up trapped down here like him. Once you entered the inner circle, you never left. It made you too dangerous. It angered those in charge of hell’s lock and key.
When the music ended, the other regal demons clapped their hands with enthusiasm. When you clapped for Lucifer, there was no other way. His aids had been lost in the river of fire for less.
He kissed my hand before holding it up high. “If I may make a speech before we move forward with the night’s festivities. My darling daughter, the beautiful Amara has agreed to the games. She will choose a husband.”
My heart popped like a balloon as the crowd roared with thunderous applause. They might as well have sealed my death sentence, but Lucifer wasn’t done. From the glow of his cheeks, he was enjoying this too much.
“But earning my blessing in marriage will be no easy task. The demon who wins the games will join the inner circle, with Amara, at my side. So…a gladiator game will find the demon most worthy. A fight to the death seems only fitting.”
Murmurs and gossip spread through the room and a glass of the finest champagne was handed to me, but I barely felt the weight of it. It was the weight upon my shoulders that crushed me.
“The five members of my inner circle will each choose a champion tomorrow. In three days’ time, the games will begin!”
Lucifer kissed my cheek as everyone congratulated him. They chanted his name, as they always did. The music became louder, the party was in full swing. “Dance, mingle, darling daughter. Tomorrow, you begin to chart your new life.”
“Yes, father.” I swallowed hard as his hand stroked down my lower back.
“But make no mistake, you have until the end of the games to break the angel Cathal. If he’s not broken by then, he’s mine.”
****
Hours upon hours later, the party was still in full swing. Platters covered with crumbs lined the tables as demons in extravagant headdresses dance the night away. In the corners of the room behind the heavy draperies, demons retreated for privacy. Some went at it like heated banshees, except a banshee would be more discrete, but nothing in hell was.
Here there were no responsibilities and nothing else to do. Decadence was the only reason why these demons existed and I soon would become one of them.
I had to move. Get out of there. Glancing back, I saw a way through the crowd and made my move. I gathered up my dress, which restricted me, and hurried along. Candace, one of Lucifer’s oldest friends stopped me. Her hair was emerald green and she dressed to match.
“Wait until you see who I’ve chosen for the games. He’ll be perfect for you.”
“I’m sure he will be.” I peered around her toward the door and saw demon servants holding it open as others made their leave. “If you’ll excuse me, Countess…” I bowed my head because respect is everything with the inner circle.
But Candace just snarled. “Don’t you even want to know who it is? It’s someone you know.”
“Forgive me. Tomorrow. Father said to keep it a secret and I have preparations to make.” I don’t know if Candace bought my story, but I had to move. I’m was drowning in this place.
I ran for the door and managed to squeak past as it closed. If Lucifer spotted me, I’d be in trouble so I huddled in with another group of demons leaving the capitol building. When they turned right, I scooted left across the bridge and down a flight of stairs.
Gazing back at the capitol building, I could practically feel Lucifer’s eyes on me. I ran as fast as I could. I didn’t know where I was going, but the wind on my cheeks stilled the fear rising in my heart. The anxiety churning in my chest was stronger than it had been ever. I barely noticed my surroundings until I found myself down in the pit of the dungeon.
Sebastian, the demon I broke three hundred years ago, was leaning against the door. His eyes were closed in sleep. “Open the door, watchman. Now.”
When his eyes opened, fear he always held for me coursed through them. It excited me and made me feel powerful. “Yes…Amara…” His head down low, he unlocked the door and I stepped inside.
I headed straight over to Cathal’s cell. He sat cross-legged in the center, taking such deep breaths he could’ve been sleeping.
He had it too good. Now that was over.
Unlocking the cell door, my eyes caught the tray of food sitting at the foot of the cage. I picked up the stone cup of water and hurled it at his head. “Is my one merciful act too good for you?”
Cathal’s eyes startled open as the cup bounced off his forehead, but he didn’t flinch in pain. I only felt better when my prisoners f
linched. Showed pain. If he wanted to play hardball, I’d make him scream out for mercy.
“Are you too good for the pleasures of hell? Answer me!” I slammed the cell door opened, stepped inside and seized Cathal by the throat.
My wings splayed behind me with a thunderous snap. I held him high in the air and his fingers clawed at my hand. His eyes struck with fear and that made me feel better.
“Please…” he eked out. Like there was a way to plead with me? Like I hadn’t killed hundreds of times before?
I threw him into the corner of the room. His body snapped, going limp like a rag doll, as his face collided with the concrete slab. He slithered to the ground and his broken wings gave a brief flutter. Cathal groaned in pain.
Good.
I watched him struggle as I fed off his pain. My arm extended and my fire whip grew from my hand, uncoiling as I swung overhead then whipped his back.
A burn mark appeared with each assault and on that fourth hit, his skin broken open. I had hurt him.
Really hurt him. Like how Lucifer hurt me.
I didn’t see Cathal anymore. No, I saw the stupid parties. Lucifer’s smiling face and how he kept me in line with threats. Worst of all, I saw a husband who would keep me tethered to Lucifer and his inner circle. No more grass beneath my feet. No more room to breathe.
Suffocation. That was my future.
“Please…” Cathal cried out and his voice pulled me back into the present.
I hadn’t meant to do it. Losing control of my anger and wailing on him because of Lucifer. I was a demon. It’s what we do, but somehow this felt different. I never lost control before.
My eyes fell on his twisted face as it lay on the dirt. There were tears on his cheeks and the agony was apparent, so why did I feel so horrible inside? Like a piece of me had died? I’d done what I always had.
I didn’t want to hurt Cathal. Why? I’d never felt this way about an angel before. Was it the way his face twisted in agony? Or how his breath trembled, desperate for the pain to stop?
The rope coiled back in my hand before it disappeared. Bending over, I stroked his cheek with my gloved hand. Having never stroked an angel before, even though my glove, I could feel how soft he truly was.
Cathal’s eyes opened and they locked with mine. My heart skipped a beat and a rush something I didn’t understand filled me. He was so handsome that it must’ve been angel trickery at work.
“We’ll finish this tomorrow.” I couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge what I’d done. Instead, I pivoted on my heel and stormed out of the dungeon.
Whatever had happened there, whatever I’d done or felt, would never happen again. But how he had begged and his voice had pleaded, I doubted that sound would ever be scrubbed from my mind again.
And how he made my heart soar, which I thought was only black and dead, I would never forget. In fact, I relished in a feeling of rejoicing that I hadn’t thought possible. Tomorrow, things would be different.
I was demon. He was angel.
But still, I looked forward to seeing him again.
4: Cathal
I’d felt it. What heaven said about Amara was true.
A spark of goodness flashed inside of her as she whipped me. Not much bigger than a speck of dust, but if I could kindle that spark, fan the flame until it roared into fire, maybe all wouldn’t be lost. Maybe I could find a way to save her before the day when she would inherit the blaze of hell.
Heaven would think me crazy, but the struggle inside her was real. Something tangible was strangling Amara from the inside out. I just had to figure out what it was.
My back raged in pain and bled upon the ground. Such an injury should be easy to heal, but down in hell, I wasn’t any more useful than a human.
Instead, it’d take time, and that wasn’t something I had.
I needed to be careful and quick. If I could find a way to reach Amara, I could avert a painful death and save us both. Maybe I was crazy to think so, but a moment later the door snapped open. A waft of dust entered as Sebastian traded one tray for another.
More stale bread and another cup of murky water.
“Two trays,” Sebastian muttered. “I’ve never seen that before.” He left before I could speak and latched the dungeon’s door shut.
My hand stretched for the cup. I strained with a yelp as pain tore through my back. The cup firmly in hand, I drizzled some of the water down my throat. It burned bad and I wondered what was in it. Why was Amara so intent on me drinking it?
But if I was going to break through to her, tell her the truth about everything, I had to show a willingness to compromise. Make a move she wouldn’t expect, something to throw her off her game.
Hopefully, before my usefulness wore out.
****
Time passed, but how much was impossible to calculate. When Amara visited me again, she was refreshed. Her hair coiled in purple waves, her dress was gone in favor of her black leather jacket. Hand perched on hip, her boot kicked the cup away from the cell door.
“Your drink it or spill it?” Amara pulled the door open and sauntered in.
“Drank it.” My eyes closed as I did my best to enter a reflective state. Amara’s aura revealed itself in fragments. Mostly black and red, as was to be expected, but there was a golden glow desperately trying to break free. Pushed beneath, it struggled against a chokehold of evil. A demon in such a struggle with herself, to feel so much pain, was unheard of.
Demons reveled in their destruction and pain. They didn’t suffer because of it.
“It was refreshing. Thank you.”
“Thank you?” Amara edged me with her boot. “What’s your game, angel?”
“I have a name, you know it. I would ask that you use it.” I opened my eyes and peered into hers. The beauty and torment in them was hypnotic. Without meaning to, I swayed side to side falling further under her spell with each passing moment. She was a forbidden fruit and oh, how I wanted a bite. “Please, call me Cathal. And no games, Amara. Hasn’t everyone been playing games with you enough?”
She held her tongue, but her jaw shifted side to side. Amara didn’t know what to make of me and I didn’t know what to make of her. But she was beautiful and in pain. An angel wanted to help those in need, no matter who they were. What they were.
“You were pretty upset when you were last in here. I could feel your rage and your pain—when I wasn’t feeling my own.”
“I wasn’t upset.” But the anger in her voice told a different tale. Her cheeks flushed brightly.
It was easy to get a rise out of her. Her anger sat just below the surface. All it took was a little poking, and I was the stick. She, the mighty bear. “You want to tell me about it?”
Amara stared. “And why would I do that?”
I shrugged. “I thought perhaps you didn’t have anyone else to tell.” I closed my eyes again and could feel how conflicted she was. “But if you rather go back to torturing me for fun, go right ahead. I won’t fight you on it.”
“You really want me to tell you? Why, so you can mock me?”
“I’d never mock someone in pain.”
Amara snorted and turned her face away. Her profile was as perfect as any I had ever seen before. “Pain—.”
“I can feel it as if it were my own. Tell me what it is. An angel has to know. I have to know.” I connected with her eyes so she could feel my sincerity. I needed her to feel it as sure as I did.
Her eyes were dark and still, she was uncertain. “All right.” Her tongue ran over her teeth. “I’m to be wed. Join my father in his inner court. I’ll never…” Amara sighed and turned away. The demon in front of me was a far cry from the warrior I’d fought on the battlefield. Here, I saw a softness and a vulnerability.
“You’ll be locked in hell forever.” The words haunted me as I said them. “No longer allowed passage to the top.”
Was I already too late? Could Amara not be saved in time? Panic rushed me. If only I had gotten to her sooner.<
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“You know your hell lore well. It’s true. All of it.” She crossed her arms and leaned against the bars of my prison. “What can I say? The devil is an overbearing parent.”
I can’t imagine what horrors he would’ve subjected her to. “Do you love him? The demon you’re to marry?”
Amara paused and she shook his head. “I can’t say I even know who it is. Champions will be chosen and they’ll fight to the death for Lucifer’s enjoyment, and the one left standing…”
What a horrible method to find a mate. To think Lucifer wanted that for his own child… Everything he did was twisted. Everything about him was for perverse pleasure, so I shouldn’t be surprised.
“I see that look on your face. How we must seem to you.” Amara shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “Demons don’t do anything for love. We’re incapable of caring. Kindness. Don’t put us in the same box as man.”
“Maybe it’s you who shouldn’t put yourself in a box, Amara. You’re not like other demons I’ve fought. There’s something more to you.”
Amara gave a brief eye roll and moved out of my cell. I’d lost her. I had pushed too far, too fast. She wasn’t ready to hear what I had to say. She slammed the prison door shut, but her hand lingered on the bars while she stared at the ground. “If we’re engaged in a battle of the wills, why’d you drink the water?”
I shrugged as I struggled to my feet. Limping forward, I gripped the bars of the prison door. “You provided. I was thirsty. Simple as that.”
“Nothing is ever simple.” Amara’s face turned down. There was no hope or joy. Like a prisoner beaten, as I had been by her own hand. I might have been locked up, but it was she who was truly the prisoner.
Somehow, I had to set her free. Somehow. If I was doing it for myself or heaven, I wasn’t sure. “Just because you have never experienced it…” My hand stroked the top of Amara’s and for a split second, her mouth fell open.
