by Jill Cooper
“Of course.” Lucifer’s coy smile was forced as he finally looked at me. “The angel will be permitted to roam a party in the inner circle of hell. Funny, I didn’t think it had frozen over here, did you?”
I allowed myself a polite smile. “No, Father.”
“But he’ll have to be careful.” Lucifer shrugged and returned his eyes back to the stadium as the crowd continued to disperse. “My guards can’t be everywhere and not every demon is as sympathetic as I am.”
I turned my back to him with a shiver and hurried down the stairs. Magenta was waiting for me and I sighed with relief. She could help me dress fast and get me to the party so maybe I could meet with Cathal before Lucifer even arrived.
My emotions might betray me, that much I feared.
Magenta took me by the arm. “Our gamble seems to have paid off, so far. And you still have your head.” She looked up and down my body as if surprised.
She wasn’t the only one who was surprised I made it this far. “Let’s get to the palace before he changes his mind.”
Her footsteps rushed to keep up with mine. “I have the dress in mind for you, child. Just wait until you see it.”
****
All my dresses were custom made, but this one was different. Elegant and regal beyond anything I had ever seen, it was yards of lavender with scroll work in gold. Every stitch had been done by hand. Tightly, it cinched my waist but it caressed instead of suffocating me. My head dress kept a veil partially over my eyes, but my nose and glossy red lips were exposed.
In my hand, I held a black lace fan and I snapped it open like a peacock as I entered the ballroom. Polite applause erupted. I bowed to the dignitaries and smiled when necessary. A few demons kissed my hand and I greeted them as expected of me, but my eyes, they swept through the crowd looking for the gladiators—looking for Cathal. Finally, I saw them enter the room from the rear wall.
Each of them had been given a red robe to wear. Markus held himself with such confidence—his head held high and his shoulders straight back. Already, he felt like he had won, but Cathal held back and his eyes unsure. Behind the black veil, it wasn’t possible for him to lock eyes with me, but I felt as though he had.
A small smile crept on his face and his eyes flashed with a brilliant happiness. My heart skipped as I smiled. I wanted to rush over to him. I needed to talk to him in person and tell him how well he fought. The bravery? The courage? I had seen a lot of ruthless and bloodthirsty moves in the arena before, but I had never seen an angel work with a demon.
He was so different than any angel I had ever met. I wanted to understand why. What made him so special? So kind and accepting of me and our kind—like Vasper? Angels waged war on demons so why was he so kind in the here and now?
All of that I wanted to do, but instead, Lucifer stood behind the grand banquet table and carefully clinked his wine glass with a fork. “Attention, attention, please.” He didn’t raise his voice to garner attention. His low growl was enough to send blood plummeting into a person’s toes or make their veins run with ice. Even the music hushed when he spoke and all the servants stopped their duties and turned to look at him.
But not directly, never directly unless he begged you for it.
Lucifer smiled and raised his glass. “To my darling daughter on the eve of her birthday. Drink in her beauty and good luck to each of the standing gladiators. May the best demon win.” He sipped from his cup with a coy smile. You didn’t have to be a genius to figure out what he meant.
The music cacophony simmered down as Lucifer took his seat at the lead table. He bowed his head and I turned, looking for a way to escape—looking for Cathal. Instead, I found Markus. Slamming into him, I stuttered as he took my hand. “Pardon you, princess.”
I hated when anyone called me that, but he was a victor and that meant I couldn’t shun him. He held my hand firm and took my waist. This was how he supposed to court me tonight? In a simple waltz while Lucifer and all the demons watched, meanwhile I couldn’t flee or disrespect him on the floor.
It would only drive Lucifer mad and fuel Markus’s anger in the arena.
“You fought well in the arena.” I did my best to keep my tone light.
Markus though mocked us. “Your angel puts up a better fight than I’d expected, but tomorrow it ends. Tomorrow evening, you’ll be pledged as my wife.”
I hoped that wasn’t true. I doubted I could live an eternity as Markus’s wife. To be pledged to him was to be a slave to Lucifer, but I’d always had been. Maybe I was only just figuring out now the truth of my life.
Time to fly away and break the bonds, but I wouldn’t do it without Cathal. It made me strong or maybe stupid.
When the music ended, I bowed at Markus and tipped my hand to him. He held it firm and brought it to his lips. He pulled so hard, I stumbled and caught myself on his chest. Not the most graceful of moves. “You’re mine, Amara.” He sneered through his smile. “One way or another, you’ve been promised to me.”
“If you think I’ll go quietly,” I swallowed back my anger as if it were hot lava coursing down my throat, “you’re the one who will find a blade shoved through his back.”
“Oh?” Markus raised his eyebrows. “You think you can take me?”
“I know I could. If I was allowed in that arena, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.” I bowed my head and yanked myself from him. Even as I walked away, I knew talking to him that way was a mistake. A big one, but I couldn’t let him control me like that, could I?
No one treated me as window dressing.
Taking a deep breath to slow my heart, I looked up, Cathal stood just before a hallway that rounded along through the servant’s entrance. Glancing around, I hurried toward him without trying to look like I was flying toward him. He slipped backward to hide in the shadows and I licked my lips in anticipation.
I wanted to be with him—occupy the same space and stare into his eyes, but even more than that, I needed to talk to him. Hear of his plans. I could nearly taste the anticipation and I slipped behind the wall into the hallway and there he was.
Waiting for me.
I found I didn’t know what to say to him after our last encounter, so stretched my hand out. My fingers traced the hem of his robe. “You’re okay.” Our eyes locked together and something about them pulled me so deep inside, that I shivered.
Cathal nodded and I detected a slight tremor in his hands as he touched the fabric gathering around my hips. “It’s amazing what one can do when you have an ally on the inside.”
There was only one I could think of. “Vasper?”
“Yes, he’s a good man—for a demon. Exceptional in every way.” Cathal swallowed hard. “Things are more confusing here than I expected. Markus, well he’s as I expect all demons to be, but Vasper—he makes me rethink everything.”
His words haunted him even as they brought me gladness. “What about me? Do I make you rethink anything?”
“You?” Cathal gave me a playful smile and it was delicious. “You’ve turned everything on its head, Amara.”
I laughed and my insides filled with a joy I’d never experienced before. It only happened when I was with him. His body, well it was quite pleasing to the eye, but that wasn’t all there was. Something about him, who he truly was deep inside, was changing me.
“Watching you fight and struggle.” I shook my head. “I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so helpless. From my perch in the balcony…” I struggled with my emotions and tears filled my eyes. When was the last time something like that had ever happened? When was the last time Lucifer’s daughter cried?
Not since I’d been a child.
Cathal caressed my cheek when I tried to turn away. “It’s all right, Amara,” his whisper comforted me. “It’s all right to feel. To have emotion—good and bad.”
“I’m afraid.” I could never admit that to anyone, but to him I could. “Afraid you’ll win and my life will change forever. Afraid you’ll lose and I’ll ne
ver get to tell you…”
“How you feel?” Cathal asked.
I nodded. “Afraid these moments will pass us by and I’ll never have one again. Not in the eternity that I’ll roam hell. I’ll be here, shackled to a boar of a husband. A father I cannot stand and I’ll only have a memory of what I once could’ve had.”
Gazing down, I felt Cathal’s strong hands on my hips glide up to my waist. “Oh Amara, your honesty and your strength, it endears me to you every day. Even when I can’t talk to you, I know the lengths you’ve gone to protect me. At first, it was a mere barter so I could live a bit longer. But now…”
His face was besieged with conflict and hurt. My fingers trembled as I touched his chin. “Now?” I could barely even breathe as I waited for him to say what I knew was coming.
He shrugged as if he’d given up fighting his feelings. “Now the game is over, Amara. My heart…it belongs to you, no matter the outcome of the game. And I fight for you. Your right to be free. Your right to choose me.”
It couldn’t happen. An angel and a demon—together? I couldn’t stand the idea of saying that—of admitting that, at least not tonight. “I know what is in your heart, Cathal. But show me,” I begged, “before we’re ripped apart again, please show me.”
Cathal didn’t waste his time on words. His lips brushed against mine gently. I almost couldn’t feel them. His hands gripped my waist close and he kissed me with more passion then I’d known an angel could ever possess. My arms went around him as everything I thought I knew about angels and the fight for heaven, were forced from my mind.
He wasn’t just an angel, he was Cathal. Someone who’d fought for me, stood up for me, when none of my kind had. Most shuddered at the sight of Lucifer, but not him. Instead, he held me in his strong arms and his long drawn out kisses were like a promise. My heart, it surged full with love.
I knew it was love, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt it before. Not like this. Not selfless with no manipulation. It was kind and it was fulfilling. It made me feel…good.
“You’re soaring.” Cathal’s eyes were happy as he held me close and inspected every facet of my face. “There is so much good in you, Amara. Lucifer’s tried to hide it, tried to drive it from you, but your heart is pure.”
It wasn’t possible. I was a demon. What he said didn’t make sense. “Maybe your love for me…” I cringed as I realized what I had said. How presumptuous of me. “I’m sorry. I…”
Cathal shook his head and his hands caressed my back. We stood so close to each other, we were nearly one. “Don’t be. It’s the truth. There’s much in you to love, Amara.”
“We’re from different worlds, Cathal. Literally.” I sighed. “What are we going to do?”
“There’s beauty in us. I know there is. Don’t despair.”
I didn’t want to. I wanted to bask in his arms forever, but it wasn’t possible. If he won and I was exiled from hell, we’d never be safe. Demons would want us dead and I didn’t even know if I’d blame them. I fought for hell. It was my one purpose in life and I’d fallen in love with an angel?
How could Cathal love me? I believed his words, but I didn’t understand them.
“Tomorrow before your birthday celebration, can we meet? There’s something I need to tell you,” Cathal said.
I frowned. “Why not just tell me now?”
“It’ll take a while and I fear soon enough we’re going to be caught. I don’t want us to be interrupted. Can you sneak away and meet me in private? It’s important.”
“If it’s important to you, then yes. It might be hard, but I’ll leave the palace before Lucifer rises. Magenta can help me, if you think you can get away.”
“I can.” Cathal smiled and kissed my hand. “Stay safe and think about everything I said, Amara. I promise you, we’ll find a way.”
He couldn’t know that, but I didn’t want to voice my fear. I placed a lingering kiss on his cheek and took in the sweet scent of his skin. There was so much about him to take in, I forced myself to step away.
“If I could kiss you,” Cathal said with his voice, but his eyes said even more about what he wanted to do with me. My skin shivered at just the thought. How would it be to lay with him? Have him explore parts of me with his mouth that had never been touched by an angel before?
I had to go, there were no other options, but already my body felt like it was his.
But I stole one final glance at his handsome face, to give me the strength for what was to come.
18: Cathal
Life had thrown me a curveball. Was there any way to really describe it?
The attraction I had for Amara shouldn’t have grown into what it had. She was beautiful, yes, that much couldn’t be denied, but the kindness growing inside of her had almost reached its peak. In the darkness, her light shined, so what would happen once she was removed from hell?
If Amara could get away from Lucifer’s influence, how would she bloom? How would she grow? I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with her. If there was anyone who was destined to war with each other, it was us, but my heart held only affection for her. And admiration for everything she’d fought against, even if she didn’t understand it yet.
But she would—tomorrow. She was ready to hear the truth. Ready to find out who her mother really was.
Ready to hear the words that she wasn’t just a demon, but also part angel.
And that truth might change her mind about me, but I held hope it wouldn’t. I had faith it would only bring us closer together. At first, she might be hurt, bewildered and confused but I could get her through it. I had faith she believed in me, like I believed in her.
From the shadows, I watched her gracefully make her way across the floor. She moved different than the other demons. With such simple elegance, as if Amara glided across the golden tile. Never before, had I witnessed her step like that—like an angel.
She didn’t know it. Didn’t do it on purpose, but her true nature was awakening. Lucifer couldn’t stop it anymore. That light and innate goodness were about to break free from the bounds of slavery and I was the one who was going to unleash it.
Lucifer had to know. He had to see what I saw and that meant her life was in danger.
Amara might direct her hate at me once she discovered the truth about herself, but as I watched her rejoin Lucifer, my determination grew. He took her by the arm, and held her close to his side like Amara was nothing more than a prop. His property.
No matter how it ended for me, Amara learning the truth of her origins was what mattered the most. Even if it meant the end.
****
After the party was through, I wasn’t taken back to my private room or even the arena. The guards marched me up to the palace. Had Amara asked to see me again so soon? Would she risk Lucifer catching us together?
Unfortunately, it wasn’t anything so benign. It was Lucifer who waited for me as I was ushered into his private sitting quarters. He stood with his back to me and stared into the burning fireplace. Behind me, the guards left and I thought, for a split second, about ending Lucifer.
But no one really could, could they? He was in it until the end and nothing I could do would stop that. Besides, his death would mean confusion for Amara. She needed to face him, once she learned the truth of his betrayal.
“This was the room where Amara first asked me to allow you to be her champion in the games.” Lucifer didn’t turn around when he spoke, not yet. I imagined he was trying to make me his captive audience. “I thought it was just a trick, something she was doing to get a rise out of me. My Amara always loves to get my attention, even the dangerous type.”
“She’s not yours.” I took a deep breath and stood tall. “She’s her own.”
Lucifer turned around finally, and his wrists were clasped in front of him. “I never expected you to get this far. I never expected her to…love you.” He walked around the room until he was behind me.
I held my breath and waited for him to do something
. There was a giant boom and flap, as his wings opened up and he stroked my own. I was terrified he might kill me or cut my wings off. There was nothing I could do, I was powerless. At his mercy and I’m sure Lucifer loved that. “You should’ve died that first night of your injuries. You want to tell me why you didn’t?”
My tongue ran along my teeth, but I bit my tongue. I wouldn’t give him the answer he already suspected. “I healed myself.”
“Hardly.” Lucifer’s eyes had narrowed as he stepped in front of me again. “If you had more time, perhaps, but hell mutes your powers as it does my own. I was once you. I was once a knight of heaven.”
“And you threw it all away.” I couldn’t keep the anger out of my voice. He was everything I stood against. Everything I despised.
“No matter your answer, there’s only one in hell who could have helped you heal. I know it. You know it.”
“No matter what you do, you can’t stop what’s happening. What’s awakening in Amara can’t be stopped. She will take up the legacy of the once great Alabeth.”
Lucifer snickered. For a brief moment, the hint of sharp dangerous teeth filled his mouth. So, the name angered him?
“Once Amara realizes you’ve played her, she’ll kill you faster than I can. Her ruthlessness knows no equal. She is my daughter in every way.”
I shook my head with sadness. “I haven’t played her. My feelings for her are true. It’s you that have manipulated her for the last thousand years.”
“So you do love her?” Lucifer searched my face for the truth and laughed. “Well, this might be the best entertainment hell has ever had!” He pushed his finger into my chest. “I will rejoice in watching her rip the skin from your body. And when she’s covered in your blood, she will beg for my forgiveness and marry Markus. Everything will be as it was supposed to be.”
