Smoldering Desires

by C. E. Knipes

  “I’m not a new friend. I’m an old friend. And now the new boyfriend! Who might you be?”

  I could see Sebastian bristle at Max’s response. He stood up to face him. They were about the same height.

  “I’m Sebastian.”

  “I’ve heard of you. You’re the ex-boyfriend, correct?”

  There was a moment of silence during which you could have heard an ant fart.

  “Yes, I’m the ex-boyfriend. You all enjoy your dinner.”

  Without looking at me, Sebastian returned to his table.

  “Well, Evan, that could have been awkward.”

  “Agreed, Jess. Thankfully, everyone kept a cool head.”

  After dinner, Max offered to drive us to Buffalo. When we arrived at the theater, we chose a new Western, which was fairly watchable despite the predictable plot. When we got back to Milton, we decided to head to the Inn Between to shoot pool. I was hoping our ban had been lifted by now. When we entered, we got the green light from the bouncer at the door. We had just started our first game when Brent and Drake entered the bar. Brent saw us right away, but made a beeline for the other side of the bar. Shortly thereafter, Sebastian walked in with a guy I hadn’t seen before. He also saw us immediately. He nodded but made no move to approach our table.

  “Who’s that guy with Sebastian?”

  “I don’t know, Jess. I’ve never seen him before.”

  I felt a large pang of jealously. Which was unjustified, as we were no longer together and I was seeing Max. It was there, though. What the hell was I doing with Max? I didn’t love him the way I loved Sebastian. I couldn’t deny it any longer. I wanted to be with Sebastian. Had I ruined any chance of that happening? Seeing Sebastian with that man seemed to say so. I finished my beer and went to the bar to order another. I also got two shots of tequila. I did one at the bar and took the second one back to the table. After two hours of steady drinking, I was past pleasantly drunk.

  I headed to the bathroom, weaving slightly. The tequila was starting to affect me. When I entered the bathroom, I literally ran into Sebastian. He was coming out of one of the stalls.

  “Hi, Evan. You look like you’ve had quite a bit to drink.”

  “What do you care, Sebastian? Worry about your new boyfriend.”

  I was slurring my words terribly.

  “Okay, Evan. Take care.”

  He started to walk away, but I grabbed his arm.

  “Are you seeing that guy, Sebastian?”

  “Yes, although that’s none of your concern. Please let go of my arm.”

  This was the first time he had displayed real anger toward me. Even after all the mean things I’d said to him. He left the bathroom. I stood there, heartbroken. I pissed, washed my hands, and went back to our table.

  Jessica knew something was wrong. Thankfully, she didn’t press me for details.

  “I think I’ve had enough for tonight. Are you ready to leave, Max? What about you, Jess? Calvin?”

  Everyone answered yes. I got up and was a little unsteady on my feet as we left the bar. After that, things got a little hazy. I remember Max undressing me in my room and helping me to bed. When I woke up, I had a pounding headache. Max was snoring softly behind me. It was almost noon. I got up and took three aspirin. As I slid beneath the covers, Max stirred beside me.

  “Good morning, Evan.”

  “Hi, Max. It’s almost noon. I’m going to sleep a little bit longer.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  When I woke, he was lying beside me, propped on his elbow. He was staring at me intently.

  “That’s not creepy at all, Max.”

  “Sorry. I was trying to decide if I should wake you. It’s almost four. I’m getting hungry.”

  “I’m hungry myself. Let’s grab a shower and then get something to eat. I’ll see if Jess and Calvin want to meet us at DiMarco’s. Are you up for pizza?”

  “Sounds great.”

  I took a shower and dressed while Max was taking his. I called Jessica and asked her if she and Calvin wanted to grab pizza at DiMarco’s. She and Calvin were in and would meet us there in fifteen minutes. The four of us met at the front door and grabbed a table. Thankfully, the one Sebastian and I had laid claim to was taken. We had just ordered when Sebastian walked in. He was with the same guy from the night before.

  “Who is that guy? Is Sebastian seeing him?”

  “Yes, Jess, he is. He’s free to do as he pleases. Let’s enjoy our pizza.”

  Sebastian did not come to our table nor acknowledge our presence. After we finished the pizza, we had another beer and left. Sebastian was still there. We parted company with Jessica and Calvin at my dorm. When we got back to my room, Max got his things together to leave.

  “Thanks for letting me spend the night, Evan. I had a good time.”

  “Me too.”

  “I’ll walk you to your car.”

  When we reached his car, he hugged and kissed me.

  “Take care, Evan. I’ll call you.”

  “Drive safely.”

  Part of me was sad to see him go. However, a bigger part of me was glad. I had to end this thing with him. I had to win Sebastian back. Max texted me when he got home. The next week passed as if it was a dream. I went to class, took notes, ate three meals a day. But I had no interest in any of it. I wanted Sebastian. I loved Sebastian. But I had blown it. He was now seeing someone else. Of course, I was too. I had to break it off with Max. I needed him away from me so I could sort out this situation with Sebastian. I was determined to get back together with him.

  The following Thursday, I received a text from Max. He had Saturday off and wanted to drive down to visit me again. In my heart I knew I did not want him to visit. For one thing, I would be home in less than a week. Also, finals were coming up, and I had a lot of studying to do. As this was too much to explain in a text, I called Max. He said he understood completely, and was looking forward to seeing me at Christmas. What I didn’t have the nerve to tell him yet was that our second attempt at a relationship had already run its course. I wanted to be with Sebastian, not him. I just had to screw up my courage to approach Sebastian.

  Friday night, Jessica, Calvin, and I were having a study session in my room. We had been at it for four hours, stopping only to have Chinese food delivered. It was almost midnight. We were getting ready to call it quits for the night and head to the Inn Between when there was a knock on my door.

  “Are you expecting anyone at this hour?”

  “No. Calvin, why don’t you stand in front of Jess just to be on the safe side.”

  I stepped to the door.

  “Who is it?”

  “It’s Max.”

  However, something in his voice sounded off. I could tell he was upset about something. I turned to Jessica and Calvin and mouthed the word “shit.”

  When I opened the door, I could tell he’d been drinking.

  “Hi, Max. Come in. Why are you here this late? Are you okay?”

  Obviously, he was not okay. He was visibly upset. He came into my room, and I closed the door behind me. He greeted Jessica and Calvin.

  “Not really, Evan. I got in a fight with Todd tonight. He came in the bar with some guy I didn’t know. Of course I was instantly jealous. I made a scene, and Todd left. My father was pissed and told me to take the night off. I was angry and decided to drive down here to see you. I know you’re studying, so I’ll stay out of your way.”

  “Okay, Max. We only have another hour or so and then we can go out for a drink.”

  “That sounds great.”

  He turned and headed to the door. He opened it right as a second knock sounded on it. Max continued to open the door to reveal Sebastian standing there. Sebastian was not pleased to see Max. Apparently, the feeling was mutual. Before I could stop him, Max had launched himself at Sebastian, tackling him. Sebastian got right back up and turned to face Max. I knew Max was a fighter, but I also knew Sebastian was no slouch in that department. He quickly prov
ed it by delivering several blows to Max’s face, knocking Max to the ground. Incredibly, all of this happened in a mere thirty seconds.

  I stepped between them just in time to be on the receiving end of another right hook from Sebastian. It rocked me on my feet, but I managed to remain standing. Max had gotten back up, and I grabbed his left arm and Sebastian’s right one.

  “Stop,” I shouted. Surprisingly, they both froze in place.

  “Sebastian, please leave. I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”

  “I didn’t start this, Evan.”

  “I know. Let me deal with Max, and I will give you a call as soon as I can.”

  “Don’t bother.”

  He wrested his arm out of my grip and walked out of the lounge.

  “Are you okay, Max?”

  “Yes. I can’t believe I just did that. I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about that now. Come into my room.”

  Jessica and Calvin were still standing in my room, both with looks of shocked disbelief on their faces. Thankfully, Calvin had not jumped into the fray.

  “I can’t believe that just happened, Evan. Maybe we should go and leave you two alone.”

  “That’s probably a good idea, Jess. I’ll give you a call in the morning.”

  “Good night, Calvin.”

  “Good night, Evan. Good luck.”

  I managed to get Max undressed and into bed. Within minutes, he was asleep. I cleaned up the leftovers and sat in my recliner. What should I do? Should I call or text Sebastian? Maybe it was best just to let him cool down. I got undressed and crawled in beside Max. I lay awake for several hours before sleep finally claimed me.

  When I woke up the next morning, I had a pounding headache. I rolled over to find Max staring at me. There was a large purple bruise on his right cheek. His bottom lip was also split. I was sure I looked just as bad.

  “How bad do I look, Evan?”

  “You’ve got a nice shiner that will be with you for a while. Your cheek is also swollen.”

  “What about me?”

  “You’re going to have one as well.”

  “I’ll grab us some aspirin and water.”

  I retrieved the bottle of aspirin from the nightstand drawer. I also grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge. I handed Max three aspirin and a bottle of water. I then took three for myself.

  “Let me get you some ice for your cheek.”

  “That would be great.”

  I grabbed two washcloths and retrieved the ice tray from the fridge. I filled each cloth with ice and handed one to Max. The second one I held to my right eye. My phone rang. It was Jessica.

  “Good morning, Evan. How are my two sluggers doing today?”

  “I’m okay. Max is a little worse for wear. We’re going to sleep in a bit more. I’ll give you an update later.”

  I lay down beside Max and waited for the aspirin to kick in. I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew Max was stirring beside me. I watched as he got out of bed and got dressed. He was trying to be quiet so as not to wake me.

  “Are you sneaking out like a one-night stand, Mr. Spenser?”

  “I didn’t want to wake you. I thought it best I leave after all the trouble I caused last night. I’ll see you when you get home for Christmas.”

  “Okay, Max. Till then.”

  I watched him leave and close the door behind him. After Max left, I called Jessica and gave her an update.

  “It’s over for me and Max. I’ll tell him when I’m home at Christmas.”

  “I’m certain that’s for the best, Evan. Have you heard from Sebastian since Saturday night?”

  “No. He hasn’t answered any of my texts or calls. I don’t want to go to his room because I’m afraid I’ll run into that guy. I’ll see him at our final tomorrow.”

  “Keep me posted, Evan.”

  “Will do.”

  I spent the rest of that day and most of that night cramming for my two finals on Monday. Monday came and went and two finals were down. I was positive I’d done well on both. Sebastian did not sit by me in our Leadership and Organizational Behavior final. He was done before me and left the room without looking back. When I finished, I went back to my room. I had two finals tomorrow, one on Wednesday, and then I was done. I texted Jessica I would be studying by myself all night.

  Tuesday came and I aced those two finals, leaving one for Wednesday morning at eleven. I just wanted finals over so I could leave on Wednesday afternoon and spend some time with my family. Sebastian did not sit next to me in our Business Consulting final. He again finished first and exited the room. It appeared he was completely done with me. I stayed in my room the entire night. I packed, smoked several joints, studied, and listened to back-to-back Pink Floyd CDs.

  It was the Wednesday before Christmas, which was on a Friday this year. I had just taken my last final of the semester. I was headed back to my room to finish packing for the Christmas break. Jessica and I were leaving at two. When I returned to my room, I found a Christmas present on the floor in front of my door. When I read the tag, my heart soared. It was from Sebastian. I picked up the present and unlocked the door. I closed and locked the door behind me and set the present on the bed. I grabbed a joint from my top desk drawer. I opened the window and stuck a towel against the bottom of the door.

  I smoked and stared at the package. It was beautifully wrapped, green paper embossed with white Christmas trees. As always, Sebastian’s taste was exceptional. Should I open it? Or get rid of it? I could take it home with me and open it Christmas morning. Yeah, if I was five. Plus, that would just make my family question why I was receiving gifts from Sebastian.

  I finally broke down and opened the gift. It was a Hallmark Christmas ornament. A dog lying by a fireplace. In the box I found a note.

  Dearest Evan,

  Although I won’t be seeing you this holiday season, I wish you the very best. I am so sorry things happened as they did. Again, I did not, nor have I ever slept with Brent since I’ve met you. I can’t explain what happened other than to say Brent somehow got me back to my room and staged that scene. I’m convinced he drugged me at the bar. Also, I’m sorry about the other night in your lounge. I didn’t hit you on purpose. I hope you know that. I also hope someday I will get the chance to prove how much I love you. I’m driving home to Lockport today. Have a merry Christmas, Evan. And a happy New Year.

  Love always,

  Sebastian

  I held the note in one hand and the ornament in the other.

  I had to call him. Now was my chance to start the healing process that would bring us back together. I called his number. My hand was shaking and my heart was pounding. His voice mail picked up.

  “Hi, Sebastian. This is Evan. I wanted to thank you for the beautiful ornament. It was very thoughtful of you. Jessica and I are driving home today. In about a half hour. I hope you have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. Take care.”

  Jessica knocked and came into my room just as I finished leaving the message. I showed her the ornament.

  “Very cute. See, he does still love you. When are you going to start listening to me? I’m glad you called him. That’s a great first step to reconciliation.”

  “I know. We’ll have to wait and see if he returns my call.”

  By the time we left at a little after two, a light snow was falling. We fell into our usual routine, stopping at Denny’s for a late lunch. Jessica was somber as well, knowing she wouldn’t be seeing Calvin for at least two weeks. He was with his family in Aspen for the holidays. I dropped Jessica off at her house and drove the remaining few blocks to my parents’ house. I parked in front of the house and sat with the engine running. White and green lights were strung along the eaves of the porch as well as down all its posts. In the bay window was the Christmas tree, full of multi-colored lights, with the angel on top. The same place the tree had been since I could remember.

  In another day, the house would be full once more with my e
ntire family. Christmas at the McGarritys was an even bigger deal than Thanksgiving.

  My phone buzzed. My first hope was that it was Sebastian. It was a text from Max.

  “R u home yet?”

  I didn’t want to see Max tonight. Of course I knew what the reason was. I wanted to be with Sebastian.

  “Not yet. Got a late start. Snow’s piling up. Will b in late. I’ll text u when I’m home. Let’s get 2gether tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Drive safe.”

  I turned my car off and sat watching the falling snow highlighted in the streetlights. A car turned onto my street. It was driving slowly in the deep snow. The plows hadn’t been on this side of town yet. As the vehicle approached, my heart began to beat a little faster. It was a Jeep. It stopped a few feet from my car. Suddenly, it pulled across the street and parked opposite me. Its headlights went dark and the engine turned off. My heart was beating faster in my chest.

  It was Sebastian.

  Chapter Eleven

  Sure enough, Sebastian got out of the Jeep and began walking toward the front steps. He had not seen me in my car. For a moment, I was frozen in place. Like a scene from a bad eighties movie. I wondered briefly if I would lose my voice.

  I opened the driver’s door and stepped out into the snowy night. I closed it softly behind me. Sebastian had stopped on the sidewalk. He was looking at the house.

  “Sebastian,” I softly called to him.

  He didn’t hear me.

  “Sebastian,” I called again.

  He turned and saw me.

  “Evan. I guess this is the right house.”

  “What are you doing here, Sebastian? I thought you were driving to Lockport today?”

  “That’s still the plan. I got a very late start. I couldn’t get motivated to pack and leave. I’m not sure if I’m going to make it in this storm. I think it’s best I get a hotel for the night. I can leave for Lockport first thing in the morning. I had to see you before I went home, Evan. I couldn’t wait another month. Plus, you were on the way.”

  I laughed at his explanation.

  “You’re fifty miles from the interstate, Sebastian.”

  His laugh echoed mine.