Shipwrecked

by Jenna Stone

  Anna squeezed Quinn’s hand sympathetically, and wiped the tears from her eyes with her other hand. She could not find words to express her sorrow for Quinn, and she now fully understood why he was “broken.”

  “They drug Malcolm and I outside sae that he could finish alone with her,” he said quietly, wiping away his own tears. “Pulled Rowan out as well, he was still breathing, but just barely clinging tae life. They tossed him on the ground next tae us and tied us all together with rope.”

  Quinn was silent for a moment, collecting his thoughts before continuing. “I’d hoped that he would finish raping her and leave her be, at least give her a chance tae make it. They drug us over towards a wagon, Malcolm and I had tae pull Rowan between us because he was still unconscious, and I saw her through the open door of our house, still lying on the table, still as a board. Right then, I felt my heart die.”

  “Oh my God, Quinn,” Anna whispered, bringing her hand up to her mouth to muffle the sound of her crying.

  “Raping her wasna enough, he had tae kill her too,” Quinn said angrily, voice ringing with rage. “I dropped Rowan and lashed out at the soldier nearest tae me, screaming for him tae kill me too. That’s the last thing that I remember before he punched me square in the jaw and knocked me out.” Quinn reflexively reached up and rubbed his right jaw as if still feeling the pain of the blow.

  “I came to in the back of the wagon later that day, and I remember looking up at Malcolm. He had Rowan laid out on one side of him, and me on the other, and he was just sitting there with this look of shock, of utter disbelief on his face.”

  “Poor Malcolm,” Anna said, the soft spot in her heart for the boy growing. She felt bad now for laughing at him when he professed his love for her in the chapel. He was right; he was definitely not a child anymore.

  “I wondered why they hadna just killed us with Mairi, and Malcolm told me that the Colonel had decided to spare our lives because we reminded him of his own three sons who were apparently similar to our ages. Being ever sae merciful and not wanting tae see further bloodshed,” Quinn seethed, remembering the words of the Colonel who had raped Mairi, “he chose tae have us transported tae the New World instead of killing us. I’ve wished a thousand times over that I could have died right there with her,” Quinn said, voice tortured, “because all I do now is wish that I was dead sae that I could see her again.”

  “Is that what she would have wanted you to do?” Anna whispered cautiously, afraid to enrage Quinn by speaking of Mairi’s memory. “I think that she would have wanted you to keep living, to live for both of you.”

  Quinn roughly pulled the horse to a stop. “Malcolm!” he shouted over his shoulder, to which the boy immediately responded by trotting up next to the large black horse. “Help Anna down, we’re takin’ a break.”

  Malcolm reached up and lifted Anna down carefully from the horse. She looked up at Quinn, sorry that her words had hurt him. He was looking into the forest blankly, lost in his memories and regret.

  ***

  “Ride with me,” Rowan said, grabbing Anna’s hand as she prepared to climb back onto Quinn’s horse.

  Anna regarded him quizzically and jerked her hand away.

  “You’re riding with me now,” Rowan said more firmly, glancing up at Quinn with eyes that challenged him not to interfere.

  “You’ve not spoken to me all day, and now you expect me to obey your orders?” Anna’s temper flared as she squared her shoulders and crossed her arms defiantly.

  “Ye have been quite rude tae her today,” Quinn chimed in, smirking at his brother.

  “Buggar off,” Rowan said dismissively at Quinn. He shifted his gaze to Anna, and exhaled slowly, collecting himself. She could be so stubborn, so frustrating at times, but damn she was beautiful, especially when she was mad.

  “Alright, I have been rude today,” he admitted reluctantly. “Will ye please ride with me, Anna?”

  Anna’s defenses softened and she let out her breath slowly. “Alright,” she said, conceding.

  Rowan did not speak as she followed him to where the mare was tethered. He helped Anna up onto the mare, and then swung himself into the saddle behind her.

  “I’m still mad at you, I wasn’t planning to give in,” Anna said coolly as she tucked her wayward hair behind her ear. “I just didn’t want to make a scene in front of your brothers, and it’s very hard to say no to you when you look at me like that, Rowan.”

  “Look at ye like what?” he asked innocently, kicking the mare into motion and trotting up the road ahead of Quinn and Malcolm.

  “I don’t know, like that! You get this lopsided smile, and when you look at me like that it make me feel…I don’t know…” she trailed off shyly, unable to find the right words to describe how Rowan could affect her rational thoughts just by looking at her in a certain way.

  Rowan smiled mischievously into her hair and didn’t respond.

  “Why did you leave me last night in the hallway?” Anna asked suddenly, her emotions still stinging from his rebuff last night.

  “Jesus, Anna. I didna leave ye. Well, I guess I did, but I didna know what else tae do!”

  “I was so confused, Rowan! I’ve never kissed someone before…and I had all of these feelings, and you made me feel…” she broke off, exasperated and hurt by his actions.

  “I didna ask for this either, Anna! I didna ask for whatever it is between us – hell, ye act like this is my fault!”

  “I just felt so alone, you left me there after you kissed me like that, and after that I thought that you had feelings for me,” Anna said, face flushed as she remembered what it had felt like when Rowan kissed her. She was glad that Rowan couldn’t see her face now, and looked blankly out at the road in front of them.

  “Christ, Anna. I do have feelings for ye…that’s why I left! Ye must be blind not tae see how much ye affected me…how much I wanted tae kiss ye, tae touch ye!”

  “I thought that you did, and then you walked away and…”

  “I had tae get away from ye!” Rowan exclaimed, imploring Anna to understand. “I’ve never felt like this about a woman before, and when I kissed ye…when I kissed ye I realized that if I didna walk away I wouldna be able tae stop.”

  “I didn’t want you to stop,” Anna whispered, fighting back tears as she admitted to herself just how much she had enjoyed kissing Rowan.

  “Yer promised to another,” Rowan reminded her softly. “And I do have feelings for ye, but with a good conscience, I canna let that happen again.”

  Anna stared straight ahead, and made an extra effort to straighten her spine so that she was not leaning back against Rowan.

  “I’m sorry, Anna. I willna let it happen again,” Rowan whispered. The wind kicked up the arousing feminine scent of her hair, stirring his senses, and he closed his eyes as his body began to respond to her.

  Stop. He chanted over and over in his mind. Ye must leave her be.

  Anna thought of Jonathan, and she knew that Rowan was right. Kissing Rowan Murray had been a very bad idea.

  Chapter Six

  Close to nightfall, they made camp at the edge of a small stream, having found a place slightly off the road to tether the horses. Rowan had made a small fire, and Malcolm passed out the remainder of the bread that he had purchased from the inn. Quinn had stalked off into the forest, giving the lame excuse that he was going to try his luck at fishing the stream. Anna knew that he wanted to be alone with his memories, now understanding why Quinn often chose to be by himself, retreating from the group.

  Anna finished her supper and warmed her hands by the fire, thankful for its protection against the chill in the night air. Rowan had not spoken to her since they made camp, but she could feel his eyes burn across her skin from time to time as he looked up from his bread, studying her when he thought that she wasn’t watching.

  Anna knew that Rowan was working hard to deny the attraction that he felt towards her in the same was the she was fighting the response that he evoked
every time he looked at her. Her pulse quickened as she thought of how he had openly admitted his feelings to her this afternoon.

  She looked over at Malcolm to see that he had curled himself into a fetal ball, and was fast asleep with his back resting against a fallen log. Anna stood, and took the blanket that was covering her lap over to Malcolm. Kneeling down, she spread the blanket carefully over him and tucked it in around his sleeping form. She bent her head to his and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before standing up and quietly backing away.

  Rowan realized that the corners of his mouth had involuntarily turned up into a slight smile as he watched Anna care for his little brother. He quickly wiped the expression from his face so that Anna wouldn’t see it. She came and sat down a few feet away from him, resuming the act of warming her hands over the fire.

  “Here,” he said, clearly startling her as he tossed her his blanket. “You’ll get cold.”

  “Thanks,” she said, still looking into the fire. “Should we go look for Quinn? It’s getting really dark.”

  “No, he’ll be fine.” Rowan said sternly, as if urging her not to worry for his brother. He reclined onto his back next to the fire, eyes still open, looking up at the stars through the bows of the trees.

  With a look of determination on her face, Anna silently stood up and took the blanket over to Rowan. She lay down next to him and spread the blanket over them both as she curled up next to him, resting her hand on his chest and her head on his arm. She didn’t care if he was speaking to her or not, and at the moment, she didn’t care that she was betrothed to Jonathan Arbor. All that she needed right now was to touch Rowan, to feel the comfort that being close to his body provided, damn the consequences.

  The bleakness of her impending marriage was setting in. What if she was not attracted to Jonathan in the way that she was to Rowan? What if she never again was to feel as though lightning coursed through her veins with just a touch of Rowan’s fingers to her skin? Knowing that she must carry through with her marriage to Jonathon, Anna wanted to feel the responses that Rowan evoked so easily just one more time.

  She was playing with fire, and she knew it.

  Rowan exhaled slowly, fighting for his composure as she settled down next to him.

  “Anna, stop. I’m not as strong as ye think that I am. Please doona do this tae me,” he gritted through clenched teeth.

  She felt his muscles tense under her touch as he fought to steady himself against her close proximity.

  Anna fitted herself against his body, moving her head on his chest and closing her eyes as his warmth flooded her body. His skin radiated heat, and his masculine smell calmed her as she rested her cheek on his chest. She did not respond to his protests, and focused on his breathing, his chest rising and falling slowly beneath her cheek.

  Anna felt the resistance leave Rowan as his muscles relaxed and he relented, fitting his arms around her to pull her up against his chest. They lay quietly for awhile, eyes open, lost in thought.

  Anna enjoyed the safety that Rowan’s arms brought her, and reveled in the warmth and the arousing smell that was distinctly Rowan, as she snuggled against him. She was relieved that he had not pushed her away, and was still confused by the fact that he had barely spoken to her today which was such a stark contrast to the way that he had kissed her last night. Anna knew that she should distance herself from Rowan, should guard her heart, but she could not force herself to stay away from him.

  “You ken that we canna continue down this path, Anna,” Rowan whispered against her silky hair as he closed his eyes, still fighting to have the strength to push Anna away. Fighting to do what he knew was right even though holding Anna felt so good.

  “I know,” Anna admitted, but still did not move away from Rowan. “Its just that when I’m near you, I feel something that I’ve never felt before, and I know that it is wrong for me to touch you…to kiss you, to lead you on, but I just….”

  “Yer no leading me on, Anna,” Rowan said sternly, refusing to allow her to compare herself to a common trollop. “I’ve tried tae deny ye in every way that I ken, but I canna fight it either. I feel it too, lass. I ken that I shouldna hold ye close, that I should never have allowed myself tae be sae weak as tae kiss ye. I ken that yer betrothed tae another man, and I hate him for that,” Rowan confessed, still holding Anna against himself as the words spilled forth.

  Rowan’s admission struck Anna to the core, and caused the fear that had been growing within her heart to explode. “What if this is my only chance to feel this way, this fluttering in my stomach when you look at me, the tremors that spread across my skin when you touch me. What if he can’t do that for me Rowan?”

  “You need tae forget about me, Anna and give him the chance tae do those things for ye. With time, it will happen. He can give ye all of the things that ye deserve, he can give ye security. He will be able tae give ye all of the things that I canna,” Rowan said against her hair as he looked regretfully into the dark night sky.

  “And what if I don’t want those things, Rowan?” Anna said softly as she caressed his arm, relishing the goose bumps that spread over his skin at her lightest touch. Try as he might, Rowan could not deny the response that his body had to her, and Anna knew it.

  Rowan knew that fighting his overwhelming attraction to Anna was futile. He was simply not strong enough to push her away.

  “I’ll make ye a deal,” Rowan said boldly, exhaling slowly in an effort to cast aside the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Tonight let’s figure out whatever this is between us, and then mayhap we will be able tae move beyond it. Tonight, I’ll be yours tae do with as ye wish, tae hold, tae kiss…” he trailed off and swallowed audibly before mustering the strength to continue, “And then in the morning, we must force ourselves apart, we must begin the process of letting go.”

  “Don’t you think that’s a bit reckless?” Anna whispered solemnly relishing the idea of holding Rowan and giving into the desires that she had been repressing, even if it would only be for one night. One night might have to last her a lifetime.

  “Aye,” Rowan whispered, trailing a finger languidly up her arm in invitation. “I think that reckless is what we need tae get this out of our systems.”

  Silence fell between them as they contemplated the vastness of the act that they were about to embark upon.

  “Quinn told me about Mairi,” she whispered against Rowan’s chest, breaking the silence and changing the subject.

  “He did, did he?” Rowan said, stroking her back gently. “So now ye understand why he acts as he does?”

  “It breaks my heart to think of how he must feel,” Anna confessed, feeling fresh tears well up in her eyes as she thought of Quinn’s suffering. “He told me about how you fought to save her,” she whispered, tears now streaming down her cheeks and onto Rowans shirt. “You were very brave.”

  “I loved her too,” Rowan said softly, brushing Anna’s hair back from her face.

  They held each other in silence, gathering strength from each other in the darkness. Rowan stroked Anna’s hair in the firelight and held her tight against his chest, wishing to protect her as he had been unable to do for Mairi. Anna toyed with the fabric of Rowan’s shirt; the gentle touch of her fingers on the fabric over his skin was soothing to him.

  “So this is a new start for you and your brothers,” Anna whispered, reaching up to dry the last tears from her eyes.

  “I guess ye could say that,” Rowan said, threading Anna’s hair through his fingers and watching how the lighter flecks seemed to sparkle in the firelight.

  “Do you hate me because I’m English?” she asked, voice concerned. “Because of what they did to you?”

  “I could never hate you, Anna,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “In fact, it’s quite the opposite, and I’m not sure what tae do about it,” he confessed, eyes starting up into the night sky.

  “Kiss me again,” she whispered, pulling her head up off of his chest and loo
king into his eyes. Her hair fell loosely by her side, and the firelight danced off her skin as she looked up at Rowan, eyes beckoning him.

  He reached up and caressed her cheek, savoring the feel of her warm skin against his fingers.

  “Kiss me, Rowan,” she said again.

  “I …ye ken that I want tae… but I’m afraid I won’t be able tae stop this time,” he said, forcing his hand to withdraw from her face, eyes looking longingly at her beautiful face in the firelight, her full luscious lips taunting him.

  “If we do this tonight, Anna, if ye agree tae be mine tonight, be gentle with my heart,” he begged for her mercy, emotions playing across his face. “I think that it will be verra difficult for me tae let ye go, and I’ll need some space from ye tae do that.”

  “I’ll give you space,” Anna said, knowing that it would be difficult to distance herself from Rowan. She would grant him this request, however painful it might be.

  Anna took his hand and placed it over her heart. Her pulse raced and her heart thundered in anticipation of the reckless contract that she was striking with Rowan.

  “Do you feel that?” she whispered, holding his hand to her chest in the darkness.

  “Aye,” he whispered in return, closing his eyes and listening to her heart thunder for him.

  “Tonight I want you to be mine, Rowan Murray because you do this to me. You make my heart beat like this,” she said as she continued to hold his hand over her heart. “And I know that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t kiss you again.”

  Anna leaned forward and twisted her hands into the lose fabric of Rowan’s shirt pulling herself down towards him. Closing her eyes, she brought her lips on top of his, kissing him softly, questioning. “Tonight, you’re mine,” she whispered against his lips.

  Rowan groaned softly deep in his throat and relented to his desire, folding Anna up in his arms and drawing her down on top of him. He slid a hand back behind her neck and claimed her mouth in a passionate kiss, tongue thrusting against hers, demanding that she open for him.