An Insane Love

by Bianca

  I closed my eyes and squeezed the phone against my chest. I would not be able to leave this house because I was supposed to be taking Rubee out on a date tonight. Raylee was supposed be staying with Malice and Kam’s twins since they were around the same age. I hadn’t made love to her in a while because Alex and I had been fucking around every other day for the last month or so, and her good ass pussy drained the fuck out of me. I looked at the text message again and deleted it so I wouldn’t reply to it. Before I could even put the phone back in my pocket, she started calling. I couldn’t answer. I let it go to voicemail, and moments later, I had a voicemail. Against my better judgement, I listened to it.

  “Sebastian, can you please pick up! I need to spend some time with you. I need to know that all of this is not in vain. I need to spend time with you. I need to be in your arms. Please. Call me back,” she pleaded into the voicemail.

  Her voice was full of sadness, and a nigga was feeling bad as fuck. My heart was hurting because I knew that her heart was hurting. I knew that she never wanted to do this. It was my fault that we were in this shit, but we were too deep into it to stop now. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place because I wanted Alex, but I wanted Rubee too. I was never going to skip town on my responsibilities. I was not going to even lie; had we moved away in the beginning of the pregnancy, I would have bounced. Something about seeing your chick’s legs in the air giving birth to your seed made you see life a little different. I deleted the voicemail and placed her calls and messages on ‘Do Not Disturb’ so I wouldn’t get caught up.

  “My man, let me holla at you outside.” Mayhem stuck his head in the door.

  On instinct, I got up and followed him outside. He had to want to talk about business because I hadn’t been arguing with Rubee or nothing. I followed him out to his truck, and he leaned against it. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a blunt. He lit it and pulled on it a few times.

  “What’s up with you?” he asked me.

  I had to get myself together because Mayhem was one person who you didn’t want to hear you stutter when you was talking. That nigga could read people like a book. He would already know that you was lying. I was trying not to sweat.

  “What you mean?” I asked while shrugging my shoulders.

  “You know I ain’t no fool, right?” he questioned me.

  I instantly thought that I was got. I thought that he had found out what we had done. My heart was pounding so hard that I could barely hear.

  “Nah, nah. Why I would think you a fool?”

  “Nigga, you got pussy on your mouth, coming up in my cousin’s house. Your t-shirt is on backwards, and your pants unzipped. Why you playing with my cousin, dog?” he said and pushed himself off the truck.

  “Man, it ain’t nothing like that. It ain’t nothing serious. Man, come on. Don’t tell me you ain’t never stepped out on Olena…”

  Whap! Whap!

  That nigga backhanded me so hard twice that I fell to my knees. I licked at the blood I could feel coming out of my lip. I used the back of my hand to wipe at the blood some more. He leaned over and started talking.

  “Speaking on my wife is grounds for death. Don’t ever let my wife’s name come up out your throat. Don’t even say words that begin with the letter ‘O’ or I’mma think that you getting ready to say my wife’s name, and I’ll slice your throat from ear to ear,” he growled in my ear as if we were the only people out here.

  “It ain’t nothing like that, boss! I swear. I’m sorry. I just—” I tried to plead.

  “Nah… nigga. I don’t give a fuck what it’s like. Don’t speak on my wife. I ain’t never stepped out on my wife, nigga. Not ever. I don’t even have the urge to. That’s just what real niggas do. I don’t wanna know who you fucking, but you better end that shit before I have to whoop your mothafuckin’ ass. The next time my cousin calls me crying, it’ll be your last day on this earth, nigga. Tighten the fuck up. I shouldn’t have to tell a grown man to take his girl out on a date, and I shouldn’t have to tell you to fuck her. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

  I nodded my head while looking at the ground because I didn’t know if he was going to hit me again. This little skinny ass nigga packed a powerful punch. I swear to God; these niggas were made from titanium or something. Wasn’t no way Frank nor Mayhem should hit this hard.

  Whap! Whap!

  He kneed me in my eye and then in my mouth. I could already feel my eye and lips swelling. I had to swallow the fucking blood that came up in my mouth because I knew if I spit anywhere near him, he was going to whoop my ass.

  “Don’t nod at me when I’m speaking to you, bitch ass nigga!” he spat.

  “Yes, sir! I’ll start doing right by your cousin. I promise,” I spoke.

  “Good. That’s what I like to hear. I expect you at the meeting tomorrow,” he said and patted me on my head like I was a fucking dog. “Also, my cousin wants to get married, but I told her I won’t make a man get married if he doesn’t want to,” he said.

  He jumped in his car and pulled away. I moved my hand just in time or he would have run that bitch smooth over. Mayhem wasn’t wrapped too tight, man. I knew for a fact that I didn’t want to be on his bad side, so I needed to get my shit together. I knew for a fact that I’d scale back on being with Alex. I pulled my shirt off and wiped at my face then stood up and zipped my pants up. I walked in the house, and Rubee jumped up when she saw my face.

  “Oh baby!” she groaned and tried to touch my face.

  “Don’t fucking touch me, Rubee. What the fuck you calling Mayhem for?”

  “I’m sorry, baby. I just…” She tried to hug me, but I moved her out of the way.

  “Watch out, Rubee, for real.”

  I walked in the kitchen to see Raylee sitting at the kitchen coloring. I got two Ziploc bags and filled them with ice and held them on my head. I went into the guest room and laid down with the bags of ice on my face. I wasn’t even laying down for a few moments before Rubee came in and sat on the edge of the bed. She started pulling at my zipper.

  “Move! I ain’t fucking with you right now. Why the fuck you put that nigga in our business? What the fuck I tell you about that?” I growled.

  “I needed some advice!”

  “Advice…” I paused and almost immediately an idea came to my mind. “Bitch!” I finished the sentence.

  The idea that popped into my head was that I could be mean as I possibly could to her to make her leave me. If she left me, Alex wouldn’t find out about us being together. Wait… that wouldn’t work. Or I could tell her that I had a one-night stand and had Raylee. Just as quick as that plan came in my head, that shit went away. Fuck. Niggas are so fucking stupid. I see why we always got caught up.

  “Really, Sebastian? You call the mother of your child a bitch!”

  This small ass girl jumped on me and started punching me so hard in my damn chest. I didn’t even know her little ass could hit this damn hard. I grabbed both of her wrists and flipped her ass off me. I got on top of her and stared down at her. I swear this girl reminded me so much of Alex with the exception of Alex’s gray eyes. Rubee’s real hair was long, just like Alex’s.

  “Get off me, you fucking piece of shit. I’mma tell my cousin that you called me a bitch! He’s gonna knot your fucking head up worse than that,” she growled.

  She had on one of those loose Victoria’s Secret tank tops, and it had twisted sideways, and her perky breasts had come out. While I was restraining her, I popped one of her brown gumdrop sized nipples in my mouth. I sucked on it softly while slowly letting her wrists go and intertwining my fingers with hers. She stopped fighting against me and started moaning lowly. My dick started rocking up at the sound of her moans. Her moans sounded so good. I moved over to the other nipple while she gripped my hands tighter.

  “Daddy, I’m getting ready to cum, baby. Godddd,” she moaned out. “You know I love when you suck on my nipples.”

  It was crazy how Alex’s nipples were
her spot as well.

  “Baby, take that dick out and stroke him,” I said and let her right hand go.

  She unzipped my pants and fished for my dick out of my pants. Her small hand could barely close around it.

  “This big ass dick!” she whispered.

  “Pull your shorts to the side and put your dick in that good ass pussy.”

  She pulled her small ass shorts to the side and then placed my head at her opening. I pushed slowly inside of her, and she moaned out until the base of my dick hit her fat ass pussy lips.

  “Good ass fucking pussy!” I groaned.

  “Babby, your dick is fucking biggg,” she whispered.

  I didn’t want to beat her pussy the way I normally did because I didn’t want Raylee to burst in here, so I slow stroked her. I grabbed her hand again and intertwined my fingers with hers. I didn’t want to kiss her because I knew my lips would burn because they were swollen.

  “This all my shorty needed, huh? You needed some of this dick, huh? You wanted daddy’s dick? I’m sorry for neglecting you, shorty,” I whispered.

  Her mouth was open, but her breath was caught in her throat. She could hardly moan while I was slow stroking her. Her mind would be fucking gone when I stroked her this slow. I looked down at my dick and saw her cream slowly start to cover it.

  “Oh, so you cummin’ without my permission, huh? Did I give you permission to cum?”

  “No… no… sir. I-I-I couldn’t help it…” she stuttered.

  I pulled out of her and got up to lock the door. I walked in the closet and beckoned for her to come here. She slowly made her way out of the bed and walked toward me.

  “The longer you take, the worse it’s going to be. Don’t fuck with me,” I growled.

  She came in the closet, and I shut the door. I pulled her shorts off, backed her against the door, and stood over her. She stared up at me with the sexiest look ever. I spread her legs with my knee and dipped so I could position myself at her opening. I pushed inside of her, and she wrapped her legs around my waist. I gripped her ass cheeks, spread them apart, and started pounding her shit. I was hitting everything there was to hit.

  “So, you think… you think that you can just cum without my fucking permission, huh, bitch?” I grunted.

  “I’m… I’m… I’m sorry, daddy!” She panted. “Gossshhh.”

  “Who run this around here?” I growled.

  She was biting her lip, so I pulled all the way out and slammed into her.

  “Answer me!”

  “You… you run everything. You run me! You run me!”

  “And you my bitch?”

  “I’m your bitch! Your ride or die! Agghhh!”

  “You better not fucking cum! Hold that shit! Goddamn, you so fucking wet, Bee!

  “I can’t… hold… aggghhh… SEBASTIANNNN!”

  She screamed so loud in my damn ear as she nutted all over my dick. The minute she nutted, I pulled out of her and skeeted all over her stomach. I let her down on her feet and her legs were wobbly. She slid down to the floor, still shaking.

  “Young ass,” I said and chuckled.

  I fixed myself and walked out of the closet, leaving her ass in there on the floor. I went out to the kitchen, and Raylee was still in there coloring. My baby girl was so smart, man, and she was a good girl. Well, when she was here with us, she was good; when she got around her little cousins, she was bad as hell.

  “Daddy, can we get pizza tonight? I’ve been a good girl all week, and I think that I deserve some pizza,” she said.

  That was a good idea because there was no way that I was taking Rubee out on a date with my face lumped up like this. Fuck that! A nigga couldn’t see me off my square, so of course if my baby wanted to stay in and eat pizza, that’s what we were going to do.

  “Yes, you do. We can get pizza. I’m going to take a shower, okay? You need something before I get in?”

  “No, thank you,” she said.

  My daughter was so polite. I didn’t know where she got that shit from because those Baileys wasn’t wrapped tight at all, and my family was crazy as fuck too. If my daughter wasn’t a spitting image of me, I’d be wondering whose child she really was.

  I went to the bedroom I shared with Rubee and started the shower. I stared at myself in the mirror. I was such a trash ass nigga, man. I did not like the nigga that was staring back at me, and it was all my fault. Everything was on the up and up now, but it was only a matter of time before everything around me started crumbling down around me, and the only person I’d have to blame was me.

  Rubee Bailey

  After that hurting that my baby daddy put on my pussy, I was shook. That nigga could only make me squirt every now and then, but when he did, my body would be doing the mannequin challenge on its own. After ten minutes of being stuck on the floor, I pulled myself up and put my shorts on. I walked out the room and into the kitchen to see my baby girl sitting there coloring. That was her favorite thing in the whole wide world to do.

  I’d been on this earth twenty-five years, and that was the best thing that I had ever done was birth my daughter. She really was my miracle child because I had her prematurely. She still grew to be fine and didn’t have many health problems at all. The only thing I wish I could change was the fact that she looked like her fucking stupid ass daddy. He was stupid, but I was stupider because I was in love with him. He was my first everything. I was supposed to be saving myself for marriage, but after talking to him, I fell in love like a dumb ass.

  I was born and raised in Houston, Texas. My parents were Markell and Deedra Bailey. I was an only child, and it was so boring when I was younger, but I was happy because I got everything I ever wanted and needed. I got sent to Chicago after I got arrested for the fifth time. I was in this girl gang in Houston called Pretty Gurlz Rock (PGR). Don’t ask me about the name; I just know that I got jumped into it. Our color was pink, and our asses were really running around with pink flags. If you were a young bitch and you were wearing pink and you weren’t in PGR, we were snatching that shit up off you. Yeah, we weren’t shit to play with in Houston. I was going in and out of jail on assault charges, breaking and entering, and stealing. I was really on some other shit in Houston and wasn’t even thinking about these ugly ass niggas.

  After the last time I went to jail, my dad said that he wasn’t going to get me out. He said that he was tired of bailing me out of jail. So I ended up calling my uncle Paxton, and he came and got me out. My daddy was heated that I called him because they didn’t really get along. I didn’t even know I had an uncle until I was in junior high, and him and my aunt Angela came to my graduation with a bunch of roses. My uncle and daddy got into a big fight that day, and they both almost got arrested. That night, my dad sat me down and told me that they didn’t get along because my uncle was a dope dealer and didn’t want to change his life around. My dad changed his life around after my mom got pregnant with me, and he moved to Houston and basically started over, cutting my uncle out of our lives. That was fucked up on my dad’s part.

  So, after my uncle bailed me out of jail, he told me… not asked… not suggested… he told me that he was taking me back to Chicago with him. My dad and him fought about that too, for the simple fact that gangs were worse out there than they were in Houston. He told my dad ‘ain’t no fucking Pretty Gurlz Rock running around Chicago’. After they talked for a few more hours, they finally agreed on something. If I went to Chicago, I had to work, and blah blah blah bullshit. Within a twenty-four-hour timespan, I was out of jail and on my way to Chicago with nothing but a Nike duffle bag full of clothes.

  When I first moved here, I finally met my cousins Malice, Mayhem, and their sort of kind of brother, Frank. I wasn’t thinking about no niggas, but Frank was fine as fuck. The way he looked at me, I thought that he was going to try and talk to me, but I was sadly mistaken. That man wasn’t even thinking about me. My uncle set me up in my own apartment and bought me another car just like the one I had back in Houston. H
e told me that I could chill for a little while before I started working.

  That little while turned into forever when I met Sebastian. Bash was fine as hell, man, and when I tell you wasn’t I thinking about no niggas, I wasn’t until Bash came around and started sweet talking me. He started to pull back when I told him my age and that I was a virgin, but I assured him that I was mature as hell. Not even a month later, we fucked. I became dickmatized instantly. Our lives changed instantaneously when I found out that I was pregnant with my baby. My uncle and my dad were heated. I had never been yelled at so much in my life. They both were yelling at me. My parents flew out here to yell at me in person. They felt the phone wasn’t doing it justice. They met Bash and they hated him. They still do, and it had been almost five years. They didn’t speak to him at all. They came for holidays, and they didn’t speak one word to him. Mayhem only hired him because I got pregnant. He bought me this nice ass house as my push present. So I was twenty-five years old and had never had a job, but I promise you I was smart as fuck.

  Anyway, the reason I called Mayhem was because I needed some advice from a male’s point of view. I mean, I could have asked Kam or Olena, but I didn’t want them in my business. I had never felt insecure around two women in my life until I met them. They were both business-orientated women. They didn’t let being a Bailey define them. They were sexy as fuck and handled their business and didn’t take no shit off Malice nor Mayhem. I knew if I went to them with my concerns, they wouldn’t do shit but tell me to leave Bash, but I wasn’t ready to leave him. Not yet.

  Over the last few weeks or so, Bash had been coming in late or not coming in at all. He never came home smelling fresh or like sex. He would come in acting like it was normal to stay out all night, telling me that he was out all night, working. That just didn’t seem normal to me because Mayhem would never have him out late because he knew that we had our daughter. I knew my cousin wouldn’t purposely keep him away from me and our daughter.