Secrets & Lies

by Lauren Landish

  I get off the bed and go over to her, where she's standing next to her pistol, looking down at it. “I hate this damn thing. You know, I've never fired one before, except at a practice range one time? Wasn't even one of these things, it was just a tiny little twenty-two that barely made a hole in the paper targets.”

  “I'm not surprised,” I tell her softly, putting my hands on her shoulders. “I watched you as you were trying to practice in the dooryard after we got the shutters screwed shut. You looked like a newbie with it.”

  “So how does that make me some sort of badass?” she asks, and I turn her around, looking into her beautiful azure eyes. “How am I supposed to protect 'Lissa or BA if all I want is to be protected myself?”

  “By being the same woman who pushed herself for years, who knew the risks even as she gathered information about Peter,” I tell her gently. I bring up my right hand, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, giving her a little smile. “There are a lot of ways to be strong. But it's more important to know and accept that there are times when even the strongest people need to relax. Times when it's okay to be open and vulnerable. Wanting to be protected doesn't make you any less strong.”

  “You never seem that way,” Andrea says, her left hand coming up to rest on my forearm. “You always seem strong to me.”

  “You have no idea how weak I am sometimes,” I whisper, our bodies coming closer until we're almost touching. “Andrea, for almost two weeks now, I've felt weaker and more vulnerable than I have since my childhood. I've spent twenty-three years building up walls around my true self, and then two weeks ago, all those walls were shattered. You stepped out of that van and sent a wrecking ball right through all those walls with a single look from your beautiful blue eyes, and I've spent the past twelve hours scared out of my mind, not because Melissa might get hurt, but because you might be hurt, too.”

  “Why?” she asks, her face so open and trusting. “Why me?”

  “Because every time I close my eyes, all I see is you,” I tell her, lowering my lips to hers. We kiss, and this time, instead of the fierce, combative passion of last night, her lips are soft and tender, yielding to me and joining me. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her tight as she brings her arms up around my neck, our kiss deepening until we're pressed together, the whole world forgotten other than her touch, her lips, the feeling of her tongue wrapping around mine. There's heat, but it's muted, both of us holding back as we find comfort and tenderness in each other.

  I feel so warm and comfortable. It's like a hole in me is slowly mending, and those walls I just told Andrea about, are starting to be rebuilt, but this time with space for some more people inside them.

  I step back, taking her by the hand and leading her over to the bed. I lift the blanket and sit down, sliding underneath the cover. “So do you like to sleep on the right side or the left side?”

  “That depends,” she says, smiling, a bit of her confidence back. “Do you sleep on your side?”

  “Usually my right side, but I've been able to sleep in lots of different positions,” I chuckle, thinking about some of the weird contortions I've had in comforting Melissa and still trying to catch some shuteye. I've pretty much been able to sleep in any position short of standing on my head, although I think I might be able to pull that one off as well.

  “Then I'll take your right side,” she says, sliding in next to me and making me scoot over.

  I look at the angel next to me in bed, and while I want her, there's no rush for some reason. Instead, her smile spreads as she runs her hand over my arm, feeling the muscles there and giving an appreciative murmur. “I saw it when we did archery, and whenever you're doing work, but it's not all that obvious when you're in your normal work clothes.”

  “What's that?” I ask, caressing the soft skin of her back through her t-shirt. “That I need to be in better shape?”

  “Actually, I was going to say you're in very good shape,” Andrea replies, her fingers making me shiver. “You're not bulky like Jackson is, but you're no soft artsy type either.”

  “Even when I wear the poet shirts?” I tease, and she chuckles.

  “Even then. Actually, I kinda like the slim-fit pants you wear,” she says, leaning in and kissing my jawline. “They make your butt look sexy.”

  I give her a kiss, deeper and more sensual than our first one, warm desire mixing with the need for closeness and the urge to protect her, and I bring my right hand up, cupping her breast through her t-shirt and making Andrea gasp. “Carson...”

  “Andrea,” I reply, kissing along her throat, tracing her pulse with my lips and tongue. She's so sensitive, her body alive and warm and responsive, and I pull her closer, pushing her shirt up to feel her naked, perfect skin. She moans and her fingers dig into my shoulders as I roll her on top of me, my cock hardening as she shifts her legs to straddle me. “Mmm, so perfect.”

  “Carson,” Andrea says, pulling back. I release her, worried that I've gone too far, but she smiles and reaches for the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. She's perfect, and as I marvel at the vision in front of my eyes, she takes my hand and puts it on top of her walnut-colored nipple, sighing in pleasure. “I need more than just a kiss.”

  Chapter 15

  Andrea

  I moan gently when Carson's hand moves, tightening around my breast and his thumb brushing over my nipple. I can feel him growing bigger underneath me, his cock pressing through his pants and against the cotton of my shorts and panties, and I want it. All of it.

  “Mmm, that feels nice,” I whisper as he pinches my nipple, a hot spark shooting through my body as he pulls until my breast stretches a little bit, and then lets go. “You're being rough,” I say, but I'm not complaining.

  “I can be,” Carson admits, his voice low and intense. “I hold back a lot, but I'm normally a very demanding man who likes to take control.”

  I moan and climb off of him, reaching for the waistband of my shorts and pushing them off, stripping naked. I take my shirt and clothes and fold them carefully, setting them on the edge of the big bed, and kneel next to Carson, who's turned over on his side and is watching me, his silver-gray eyes burning with interest. His words unlock a part of me that I've wanted someone to unlock for so long, and maybe that's the reason that I've wanted Carson so badly. I could sense that he was the man to finally free this side of me.

  I've never shown this side of me to anyone before. I don't think even Jackson knows, and no lover I've ever had has ever caused this sort of reaction in me. I'm always the one in charge, the one who runs things in the few relationships I’ve had. Inside though, I've always wanted the opposite, and for Carson, as I fold my hands behind my back and lower my eyes, it just feels right and natural. I want to be vulnerable. “How can I please you, Sir?”

  Carson hums in appreciation and sits up, reaching around, grasping my wrists in one hand to pin them behind my back. He's so much stronger than I am, but I know he doesn't feel the need to display his strength through some silly macho bullshit. Instead, I can feel it in the way he holds my wrists firmly without tugging, and without forcing. He knows he can take control, but he doesn't need to. “You know what you're asking for, right?”

  I nod, and look up into his eyes. “I do.”

  Carson shivers and smiles at my words, then leans in, whispering in my ear. “Good, my little dove. But before we continue, we need some rules, don't we?”

  His dove. Just hearing that fills my body with heat, and I nod, breathless.

  “Good. First, we won’t show this to the rest of our family. At least for now. Second rule, you serve me of your own free will, nothing more. Even though it won’t be tonight… we won’t go that far, your word is 'azure'.”

  “Azure,” I whisper, then again. Still soft, but louder. “Azure.”

  “Very good. Do you accept these rules?” Carson asks, and I nod. “Say it, Andrea.”

  “I promise to follow the rules, and any others you give me,” I say
softly, my heart freeing and becoming lighter with every sound that comes out of my mouth. “How may I serve you?”

  Carson smiles and shifts in front of me, kneeling until we're facing each other. “Take off my clothes. But you can’t touch until I'm totally naked.”

  It's difficult, but I nod, and reach for a loose fold of his sleep shirt, making sure not to touch any of his skin as I lift his shirt up. Even though he works outside a lot, his skin is still naturally pale compared to mine, and when I pull the t-shirt over his head, I fold it and set it aside next to mine before coming back to him. I'm momentarily stumped, and finally speak up. “I need a little help. You're sitting on your pants.”

  Carson chuckles and gets off the bed, standing next to it with his arms raised. His large cock is tenting his light cotton pants and I'm so hungry for it that I almost break his rules, but I steel myself and remain kneeling on the floor. I reach for the knot in his waist ties and undo the bow carefully, tugging from side to side until the waistband is loose enough for me to work my fingers inside without touching him. I slide his pants off, but I'm confronted with a problem that I don't know how to solve. He's wearing skin-tight boxer briefs, his cock making the stretching fabric bulge out, but there isn't a single scrap of loose fabric for me to use.

  He reaches down and strokes my hair. I take a deep breath, my body screaming in want, and try to think clearly. Every bit of me is yelling for me to just grab his briefs and strip them off, swallowing his cock as soon as it pops out. But that's not what... what he wants, and I breathe deeply, counting backward from ten before I open my eyes. I'm focused on his cock though, and how delicious and huge it looks, how much I want to suck it, to feel it pound my aching, long-neglected and dripping pussy...

  Wait. There. The fabric, it's skin-tight, but not hugging every curve. Next to his cock where he's bulging out, there's just a little bit of fabric that isn't touching his skin. It's not much, maybe a fraction of an inch on each side of his thick shaft, but I can do it. With trembling fingers I reach up and pinch the fabric. It's barely enough to have a decent grip, but I haven't broken the rule about touching any of his body, and I pull, easing his cock out of his briefs.

  It pops free, and I'm shocked at how big he is. Long, thick and heavy, he droops with the weight of it under his shaved crotch, and I look up, licking my lips.

  “Perfect. Now, ease those shorts down, and you can have a taste.”

  I can go faster now, and pull Carson's shorts the rest of the way down, letting him step out before I gather it and his pants and with the last of my control, fold them and set them next to the other clothes. I kneel down in front of Carson, looking up at him and smiling. “How did I do?” I ask hopefully.

  “Perfect, dove,” Carson says, smiling as well. “Now, one taste. Understand?”

  “Yes, sir,” I whisper, reaching up and trying to wrap my hand around his cock. He's so big though that I can't even get my fingers closed around his shaft, but seeing him shiver and his cock twitch at my touch, I'm hungry for more. I reach out with my tongue, tasting the tangy saltiness of his cock, running my tongue around the big head. Licking down, I taste him all the way to the base of his cock before kissing my way up, and licking the shaft again. “May I suck just one time?”

  “Making requests already?” Carson teases, amused. “I may have to train you a bit more forcefully than I thought. You have a choice. You can, but if you do... I spank you later.”

  I nod, knowing that while he's not saying it, the worse I tease him, the less I'm going to get spanked. I open my mouth, letting my tongue hang out and resting the head of his cock on my tongue while I look him in the eye, and slowly ease his cock in between my lips. He's even bigger in my mouth than in my hand, and my jaw aches almost immediately as I slide more and more of him into my mouth, until he's buried in the back of my throat, but I'm barely halfway down his cock. My tongue bathes his cock with my spit as I suck, relishing the taste in my mouth, and draw him out slowly, rewarded at the end as just before he comes out, a drop of his precious precum coats my lips, and I lick, moaning thickly at the taste.

  “My little dove,” Carson says, his voice tender but demanding as he pulls me up. Lifting me in his deceptively strong arms, he lays me down on the bed, spreading my legs. “Are you naturally this sparse down here?”

  “Yes, sir,” I say, feeling his searing gaze on my pussy.

  “It's the most beautiful I've ever seen,” he says softly, looking up at me. “You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

  His words cause my pussy to ache in need. I'm so wet, I need him inside me, but I know I'm giving myself to Carson, and he's in control fully right now. Giving in to him just increases my pleasure.

  “You deserve a reward,” Carson says, getting between my legs and taking his cock in hand, dragging the head between my lips. I gasp softly when his cock touches my clit, electricity jolting through me like a thunderclap. He's powerful but restrained, and I know from the look on his face combined with the feeling in my body, I'll never be the same after this. Carson hisses as well and slides his cock between my lips again, pausing with the head of his cock stretching me open. “How long has it been for you?”

  “Over a year,” I answer, my throat working. I want to feel his cock filling me, making me his. I know whatever else, it will change me forever. “You can take me however you want.”

  “I'll go slow,” he says, sliding just a fraction of an inch inside me before pulling back. His eyes never leave mine as he opens me up with small, slow strokes that send warm tingles up my body, never causing me any pain at all. Suddenly my pussy opens, and he sinks deep, both of us groaning at the sensation. “Oh shit…”

  “Carson,” I gasp, my legs wrapping around him and pulling him deeper into me. There's a hint of pain as I feel my walls stretch, but I'm so hungry, I need him all the way inside me. As he bottoms out I feel filled for the first time in my life, complete in both body and soul.

  His eyes burn a hole into my soul, a hole where he's going to pour himself, making me his for all time. He pulls back an inch before thrusting in again, his cock stretching me the rest of the way and ripping away the pain, leaving behind the molten pleasure of his cock inside me. Leaning down we kiss, his tongue caressing mine as his hips lift, driving again into me, harder this time. I gasp, he's so big and I feel so alive, my body crying out for more. “Sir...”

  “You can touch me,” Carson whispers in my ear, lifting his hips again and thrusting, his chest rubbing over mine and sending sparks from my nipples even as his cock turns my pussy into a sheet of pleasuring flame.

  I wrap my arms around him, holding on as he starts thrusting, our bodies moving together in passion and desire. Each thrust of his cock shatters me, tunneling into my heart and soul as his lips taste my skin, my skin on fire where his lips and fingers touch me. I can't help it, I let loose the words that have burned inside me even more than wanting to submit to him. “Carson... fuck me, please fuck me...”

  He speeds up, his cock thrusting faster and harder as we move past the games and to a place where it's just our two souls, our bodies coming together. His eyes find mine and in his glowing silver-gray gaze, I see my future as his. His hips slap into mine with low, sharp slaps that have me digging my fingers into his back, and Carson smiles. “You can scratch me if you want, it's okay. You don't have to hold back.”

  Carson reaches back and lifts my legs, opening myself to him even more, and he begins pounding me. His cock is hammering into me as we build higher and higher together, my body jolted and shocked with pleasure every time our bodies crash against one another. I'm breathless, barely able to think it feels so good, and I do dig in, my fingers hooking into claws to hold on to his back and shoulders, and I feel his skin tear under my fingernails. Carson is growling in reply, his hips moving harder and faster, claiming me as his, tonight, tomorrow, and forever if he'll have me.

  “Carson, oh God,” I pant as he hammers his amazing cock into my body. I'm trapped,
caught on the edge of coming by a man who was made for me, body and mind perfect to me, and I want him, I need to feel his come inside me. “Please Carson, let me come.”

  “Together,” he promises, and he speeds up, harder and faster, plunging himself over and over into my stretched pussy, fire sweeping through me over and over, so fast I can't tell when one wave stops and another begins. All I know is that my body is being burned up from the inside out, a fire of pleasure that is destroying me, eating me up, and I want more of it.

  Carson's cock swells, and I can feel him so close. “Andrea... I'm...”

  “Yes!” I cry out, not caring if the whole fucking world hears me right now. My body wants to finish what we've started. I fall, my orgasm sending me tumbling, crying out my joy as I feel Carson swell bigger and pulse within me. Suddenly warmth, complete and perfect warmth fills my body.

  Afterward, Carson kisses me tenderly and strokes my hair out of my face. “That was... that was perfect.”

  I can see in his face what he’s thinking. He thinks this was a one-time thing, a comfort I would take from him because of my stress and momentary insecurity, and that I would leave it behind once the sun rises. Or maybe even once Nathan's shift on watch is over. “Let's get cleaned up. I don't think Nathan needs to walk in on the two of us naked. I don't play three ways,” Carson says smiling.

  I chuckle, and pull him close. “I don't either. I don't want to share you with anyone.”

  “Except 'Lissa,” Carson says. “We can have this. But I will always love 'Lissa and take care of her. Are you cool with that? If not... we should stop this before it goes any further. It'd only be more painful later, if we can't deal with this now.”

  I nod, rolling to the side and getting out of bed. I go over to the bathroom and run a washcloth under the warm water in the sink, squeezing it out before wiping my body down. “I know. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. There's many different kinds of love, isn’t there?”