Mail Order Menace (Brides of Beckham Book 21)

by Kirsten Osbourne

  Ernie quickly warmed up the lunch she’d had waiting in the ice box. She’d made chicken pies, and she suspected the pastor would like them as well as the other men did. She heard the front door close again, and she knew that Cliff was off to do something. She had no idea what, but she was glad he wasn’t going to stay there being angry with her.

  The men began trickling in right around noon, taking their places at the table. The pastor was among them, and he rubbed his hands greedily as he looked at the food she’d prepared. Cliff was the last to arrive, and he took his spot at the head of the table, still looking more than a little put out.

  The pastor prayed, and then the table was as boisterous as usual, everyone serving themselves slices of the chicken pie and exclaiming over how wonderful it was. Through it all, Ernie watched Cliff, sensing that he was still angry with her, but she didn’t know what to do about it.

  After the meal, the pastor watched her as she cleared the table. “You’re looking awfully tired, lass. Are you all right?”

  Ernie nodded. “It’s just a lot of work to have so many guests.” She carried the dishes to the sink she’d already filled with hot soapy water.

  The pastor frowned at her. “I’m a bit concerned about you. Don’t let the other women in town get you down. The last pastor who was here had a wife who led the gossipers, and now the women think it’s all right to gossip whenever they choose. I don’t allow it, but there’s a lot of animosity toward me because of it.”

  “I’m sorry, Pastor.” And she was, but she had no solutions for him. “This is only the second church I’ve belonged to, but the other was just as bad with gossip. The older women called my brothers and sisters and me a terrible name.”

  “Really?” he asked, his eyes wide. “What did they call you?”

  “The demon horde.” Ernie made sure her back was to him as she said the name, a smile crossing her lips. She knew he would be disgusted by the name, but they’d deserved it.

  “They didn’t!”

  “Oh, they did. I’ve had that name applied to me for most of my life.” She washed the dishes quickly, stacking them so she could wipe them dry. To her surprise, the pastor picked up the towel she had laying on the counter and dried them.

  “Did you deserve to be called that?” he asked.

  She grinned at him. “Oh, we deserved so much worse than that, pastor.”

  He laughed. “Somehow I had a feeling you’d admit it if you did deserve it. You’re a special young lady, Ernie Solomon.”

  “Thank you. I don’t deserve what the ladies here are saying, though. I work hard cooking and cleaning. I don’t have time to do what I’m accused of. I’m just too tired!” Why, she was often too tired to see to her own husband’s needs, let alone those of five other men. She couldn’t imagine a woman who could do that.

  “I knew when they said it they were lying. You’re too sweet to do anything like they accused you of.” He looked behind him, as if to see who else was in the room. “Are you having trouble with your marriage? Cliff seems to be very angry.”

  “He was angry that the women accused me like they did, and then he became angry with me because I asked if he believed them.” She sighed. “I should have known he would never believe foul lies like that.”

  “Yes, you should have. Your husband is a proud man, and he’s not going to take a slight like that very well.” He made a stack of the dishes he dried so she could put them away later. “Do you want me to talk to him?”

  Ernie considered it for a moment before shaking her head. “No, I think I’ll talk to him myself. I don’t want him to think that I ran to you as soon as we had a little trouble.”

  “All right. I’ll leave it alone then.” He looked around. “You don’t have any pets, do you?”

  She shook her head. “No, just Roscoe.”

  The pastor laughed. “How’d you end up with that ridiculous old goat?”

  “Cliff bought him for me so he could keep my grass trimmed. You know Roscoe?”

  “Oh, everyone in town knows Roscoe. He’s the orneriest goat in all of Montana.”

  She looked at him with surprise. “Roscoe isn’t ornery. He’s just mischievous. He really enjoys wearing my bonnet. I’ve tried to take it off him time and time again, but he runs from me when he realizes what I’m doing. I got it from him once, but the next time I put one on the line, he was wearing it again. I’ve decided to just let him wear a bonnet if he likes them so much.”

  The pastor grinned. “Well, since you’re so good with animals, how would you like a kitten?”

  She grinned at him. “I love cats! Where’d you get a kitten?”

  “I got a cat for the church two years ago when I first got to town, and she had a litter of kittens. They’re six weeks old now, so they’re ready to find new homes. Would you like one?”

  “I would! I can’t be sure, but I thought I heard a mouse the other day, and I can’t be having rodents if I’m going to run a boarding house.” Or if she was carrying. She had heard stories of mice climbing into cradles with babies, and she wasn’t having that with her baby.

  “I’ll bring it by this afternoon then.” He dried the last dish. “I’m going to be on my way now, Ernie. You let me know if you need to talk to me, all right?”

  Ernie nodded, immediately picking up the dishes to put them away. “I will. Thank you for coming, pastor. You’re welcome any time.”

  “I might take you up on that. How much do you charge for individual meals?”

  She shrugged. “I usually charge a penny for lunch.”

  “Only a penny?” His eyes lit up. “You can expect me for lunch every day this week then. I’ll bring my nickel when I come tomorrow.”

  “You need to get married, pastor. A good wife would make you happy.”

  He shook his head. “I was married. She died in childbirth ten years ago, and I can’t bring myself to marry again. Mary was the love of my life.”

  “I’m sorry to hear it.”

  “Thank you. I still miss her every day.” He headed for the front door, leaving Ernie staring after him.

  She wished she could ask her sister to send someone to marry the nice man, but he had to want to marry before she could do that. Elizabeth would never approve of someone requesting a bride for another person. She knew it had happened a few years back, and her sister had been angry.

  She finished putting the dishes away before she went to the parlor. She had mending that needed to be done while the house was quiet. She didn’t clean rooms on Sundays, and all the men knew it.

  Chapter Eight

  An hour later, the pastor came back with a gray kitten. When Ernie took it from his hands, she buried her face in its fur. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

  “That one’s a girl. What will you name her?”

  Ernie shrugged. “I’ll have to think about it. Thank you so much, Pastor.” She carried the kitten to the back yard to introduce her to Roscoe. If she was going to have two pets, they needed to at least know one another.

  Roscoe was standing in the middle of the yard, still wearing her bonnet. “You look so masculine with your bonnet on, Roscoe,” Ernie said, shaking her head at the cantankerous goat. “I brought you a new friend.” She held the kitten out to the goat, who poked at the small ball of fur with his nose.

  Ernie set the kitten onto the back of his neck, and Roscoe stood still while the kitten got used to him, then he slowly walked around the backyard, as if he was showing the kitten around. Ernie moved to sit down on the steps to watch them. It was a bit warmer, and the snow had melted, but she knew it was temporary.

  The door opened behind her, and Cliff dropped down onto the step beside her. She looked over at him. “I’m sorry. Please don’t stay angry with me.”

  “How could I stay angry?” He sighed. “I chopped enough wood for us to make it through the winter to get rid of my anger, but I’m better now.” He looked at what she’d been watching. “What’s that lump on Roscoe’s back?”

 
Ernie scooted toward her husband, and he slid his arm around her. “That’s our new kitten. The pastor’s cat had kittens, and he thought we might like one. I thought I heard a mouse, and I love cats, so I accepted one. It’s a little girl. What should we name her?”

  “Why is she riding around on Roscoe’s back? She reminds me of the stories I’ve heard of the Queen of Sheba, being carried around everywhere she went.”

  “I brought her out here to meet the goat, and he nudged her with his nose, so I put her on his back. I think they like each other.” She sighed happily. “What should we name her?”

  “Sheba?”

  She giggled. “I actually like that. We’ll call her Queen of Sheba.”

  “That’s the perfect name for a cat that rides around on goat’s backs. I wonder how long he’s going to put up with her.”

  “I have no idea. What do I feed a kitten?” She’d only had adult cats, or a mother cat to feed any kittens.

  “Just give her a saucer of milk. When she needs more than that, she’ll hunt for it herself.” Cliff stroked his hand over the back of hers. “I’m sorry the old ladies in town are jealous of you and making up stories.”

  She frowned. “You know, as long as you and the pastor and Katie know the stories are made up, they can say whatever they want. You three are the only ones who matter to me at all.”

  He smiled at that, kissing her cheek. “Well, I certainly know it’s a bunch of lies. I think Katie does, too.”

  Ernie nodded. “She does. We talked about how the women of town make up stories if there aren’t any good truths to gossip about.”

  He grinned. “Well, then I guess you’re set. We know the pastor believes you. I was there when Mrs. Jenkins came over to tell him the lie. His eyes narrowed, and he told her she’d better not be making up lies like she had the last time.”

  “I like that he defends me so readily. He barely knows me.”

  “He doesn’t have to know you to know that she’s a troublemaker. You’re working too hard for it to be possible that you even have time to cause the kind of problems she’s talking about.” Cliff, stroked her arm, trying to keep her warm in the chill afternoon air.

  “The pastor’s going to start coming over for lunch every day. I told him it’s a penny per meal, but I think I should charge him half, since he’s the pastor.”

  Cliff shrugged. “Whatever you want. Do you really need another man to feed around here?”

  “I guess I do. At least I’ll know he’s fed properly. And don’t forget, Katie is going to start working here tomorrow. Only five hours per day, and I think she’ll eat lunch with us. It will help though, because I won’t have to do everything myself.”

  “I’m glad she’s going to be helping. I worry about all the work you do. You still look very tired to me.”

  She nodded. “I am tired. I think I’m going to make a pork roast for supper. I’m going to go put it in the oven, and then take a nap if you don’t mind.”

  He frowned at her. “A nap? You never take naps.”

  “I do when I’m tired! We’ve only been married for a month. That’s hardly enough time for you to think you know everything about me.”

  “So when we’ve been married for fifty years, then I can tell you I know everything about you?”

  She grinned. “Do you think we’ll be married for fifty years?”

  “I sure hope so. I can’t imagine life without you in it.” He watched her as she blushed and disappeared into the house. He was still a little angry at the women who were gossiping about her, but she’d obviously decided to let it go. If she could, then he could too. He had half a mind to go and talk to their husbands about keeping their wives in hand, though. Obviously, they had a lot more free time than his wife did, because they had time to make up ridiculous lies about others. Ernie kept too busy for that kind of nonsense.

  *****

  The pastor showed up for breakfast the next morning, bringing a whole dime. “I want to be here for breakfast and lunch, I decided. I usually have someone bring me supper, but I need two good meals a day.”

  “I talked to Cliff, and we’re charging you half for your meals. You’re the pastor after all. I’m going to go and get you your change.” Ernie hurried from the room before he could protest. She wanted him to be there, and she was going to see to it that he knew he was welcome.

  After breakfast, she started a pot of soup on the stove for lunch while she mixed the dough for bread. She couldn’t believe how many loaves of bread the men could go through in just one day, and with the pastor added into the mix, she was going to have to do even more baking.

  By the time Katie arrived, Ernie had the bread in the oven and the kitchen cleaned from breakfast. The house was filled with the smell of bread baking. Katie followed her nose to the kitchen. “How are you feeling this morning?”

  Ernie shrugged. “I’m still tired, but other than that I’m doing fine. I’ve done the baking for the day, and I have soup on for lunch. Are you eating with us?”

  Katie nodded. “If that’s all right. You can take the cost of my lunch out of my pay.”

  “Of course not! You’re helping me.” Ernie sighed. “Would you mind cleaning the men’s rooms this morning? I need to mop the kitchen floor, and dust the parlor.”

  “I’d be happy to. Why don’t you keep Abigail with you?”

  Ernie nodded, reaching her hands out for the baby. An hour later, Katie met her downstairs, her share of the chores finished. “Now what?”

  Ernie looked around. “Would you mind cleaning the bathrooms? I want to bake a cake for dessert this evening.”

  “Happy to do it. How’s my little princess?”

  “She’s content to just watch me from her basket. She’s such a good baby. My younger siblings would all scream uproariously if they were expected to lie still for more than fifteen minutes at a time.”

  “She is a good baby. Her teeth are doing much better too.”

  “Have you been using my mother’s whisky trick?”

  Katie looked embarrassed for a moment, and she nodded reluctantly. “I told Ethan you’d suggested it, and he went out and got some whisky from the saloon. He said he was tired of me dancing attendance on her all night long.”

  “I’m glad she’s doing better, even if you did it against your better judgment.”

  “Me too.” Katie smiled at the baby, who was drooling happily. “I’ll be back when the bathrooms are cleaned.”

  After lunch, Katie helped to do the dishes and to peel the mountain of potatoes needed for supper at the boarding house before she left. “Thank you so much!” Ernie told her as she was leaving.

  “I’m happy to be here with my friend,” Katie responded. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

  When Cliff came in, he looked around the house. “It looks like you and Katie worked hard today.”

  “We did. I’m glad she agreed to do it.”

  “So am I. I know you need it.” He studied her face. “You still look very tired to me. I think you need to start going to bed earlier.”

  Ernie wasn’t about to argue with him. Another hour or two of sleep sounded downright glorious. “I’ll take you up on that.”

  *****

  When another week had passed without her courses coming, Ernie knew it was time to go see Mrs. Sims. Leaving Katie in charge of cooking for her army of men, Ernie followed the simple instructions she was given on how to get to Mrs. Sims’s house. She knocked on the door and waited, hoping to find the older woman in a better mood than she’d been in the times Ernie had seen her at church.

  When the door opened, she knew luck was not with her that day. The woman looked angrier than she’d seen her before. “What can I do for you?”

  Ernie bit her lip, not sure how to approach her. “I think I might be expecting.”

  “I figured as much when Katie went out of her way to introduce you to me.” Mrs. Sims opened the door wide. “Well, come in and tell me what your symptoms are.”

  They ta
lked for a few minutes, and Mrs. Sims had her lie back so she could examine her. “I’d say you’re going to have your baby around the end of June,” Mrs. Sims finally told her. “Have you been around pregnant women much?”

  Ernie nodded. “I have eight younger siblings, and four of my sisters are popping out babies like there’s no tomorrow. I’m not experiencing the morning sickness like they did, though. It’s odd, but I feel fine except for the exhaustion.”

  Mrs. Sims shrugged. “Some women vomit, and some don’t. From what I’ve seen, you have a better chance of losing the baby if you’re not sick all the time, so be careful. Don’t lift anything very heavy, and you’ll need to calm down your nighttime activities.”

  “You mean I shouldn’t make love with my husband?” Ernie asked, blushing a bit at speaking so frankly. Of course, the older woman knew where babies came from, and since she was pregnant, it was obvious that she had made love at least once.

  “You can keep taking care of your husband’s needs, but I think you should stay away from those other men staying with you.”

  Ernie blinked at her a couple of times. “I wish you wouldn’t believe rumors.” She turned and walked away, wondering if there was another midwife around she could see. She had no desire to keep seeing Mrs. Sims, who immediately believed the worst of her and didn’t have a smile for anyone, from what she could see.

  She walked to the house, wondering how long she should wait before telling Cliff about the baby. She knew that he wouldn’t let her work if she was pregnant, but she also knew they needed her income for the time being. With Katie’s help, she was sure she could manage for several months yet.

  When she got back to the house, she asked Katie about the possibility of another midwife in town.

  Katie shook her head. “I don’t know of anyone else. I think you’d have to go to the next town over, and that would be a long ride in a wagon, or you’d have to take the train. You’re better off sticking with Mrs. Sims.”