Breaking Kate: The Acceptance Series

by Kelly, D.

  I need this weekend to be all about pleasure, my pleasure. Hopefully that will keep Katherine Moore out of my head once and for all. I’m looking forward to just losing myself in someone. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s pleasing women in bed, but in order to do that I need to find the right kind of girl. I don’t want a girl that’s going to want to latch on, or one that wants to exchange phone numbers. Hell, I’m perfectly fine with not even knowing her name because half the time I don’t remember it anyway. It always amazes me how gullible some women are. They are so easily excited when you call them by an endearing name. They have no clue I call them sweetie, sweetheart, baby, honey, sunshine, precious, beautiful or darling because I have forgotten their names. The goal for tonight is to find a hot girl with a nice ass and a great rack that I can bend over and fuck the living daylights out of. I prefer one I can tie to my bed so I can have complete control. It’s not like I have a fetish or anything, I just really don’t like to be caressed and touched a lot. I don’t like or want intimacy with my sex, not since Katherine. I just want to take them hard and rough. Believe it or not, girls love it. I’m great at giving multiple orgasms which is a skill I have developed over time. That’s another thing I regret about Katherine, I never tried to give her multiples. That’s something I would’ve loved to watch. Even after all this time I have never seen anyone come the way she did, it was exquisite. Just thinking about it now, years later, still makes me hard. Damn it. I need to get drunk fast so I can push her to the back of my mind; I’m so tired of thinking about her.

  When the elevator doors open, my mood lightens up. I love casinos. Even the overwhelming smell of smoke is okay because it’s all part of the atmosphere. Vegas is truly the place where no one gives a fuck what anyone does, how they dress, or how they act. If you aren’t walking around drunk, you’re not doing Vegas right. Already there are girls eyeing me up—I know they think I’m hot and tonight I play it up to my advantage. It’s not like I’m even slightly conceited, but I’ve been asked many times if I’m a long lost Hemsworth brother and I know girls think they’re hot.

  Tonight I’m wearing a very tight black t-shirt that grips all of my muscles, a comfortable pair of blue jeans, and my black Dr. Martens. The tattoos on my arms are visible and my hair is styled with just a little bit of gel in that way girls tell me is ’just so hot’. Personally, I don’t really care how my hair looks—I’m more than happy to just buzz it off—but the one time I did, I seriously lacked in hookups for two months while it grew back. Who would have thought a guy’s hair would make that much of a difference to girls?

  I take a seat at my favorite bar and throw some money in the video poker machine while waiting for the bartender to make his way down here. I love this place; by the time Dave comes down he’s already got my drink in his hand. “Hey, Mike. How’s it going, man? I got your gin and tonic, Bombay Sapphire with limes of course.”

  I take the drink and shake his hand. “Thanks, Dave. It’s been a while, how’ve you been?”

  “I’ve been good, thanks. It’s great to see you again. By the way, I’m placing my bet now. Judging by your appearance tonight, I give it forty-five minutes before you’re on your way back up with a beautiful girl, so I’m going to keep your drinks coming. I know you like a good buzz before leaving the bar.”

  I can’t help but chuckle. “Ah, the all-knowing bartender has placed his bets. You know I’d hate to disappoint you, so how about you pour me a double shot now so I can step up my game.”

  Dave gives me a knowing look and pours the shot. “Okay, man, you’re all set. You’re already getting an audience behind you. If I were you, I would hit the girl in red—she’s a regular and used to the no strings thing. You got condoms this time or do you need me to hit the bar stash again?”

  Man, he really doesn’t forget a thing. “Nah, man, I’m good. I brought some this time. Last time, the airport lost my luggage and my condoms along with it; just another reason why I would rather drive.”

  “I hear you, just nod at me if you need another. I gotta get back to the other end of the bar.”

  Sure enough, about fifteen minutes later three girls walk up and sit next to me at the bar. One of them is stunning in a green low-cut dress. Unfortunately, she looks a little like Katherine and is immediately not an option. There’s a cute girl in jeans, Chucks, and a nice button-down shirt. I would love to take her upstairs, but she’s shy, and shy girls equals needy girls. I don’t do needy girls; they’re too emotional and make me feel bad when I have to tell them I only want sex. I’m always honest, and it doesn’t always go over well, but I figure they should know the deal up front. The only exception to that was Misty and that’s a mistake that still weighs heavily on my mind. Another one to add to the ‘someday make amends’ pile. That pile seems to be getting excessively large, but there’s no time to think about that right now.

  The girl in red is the first one to speak to me. She’s got a throaty, sexy voice and she oozes sex appeal. She definitely isn’t the most attractive of the three, but she’s in no way ugly. Giving her the onceover, I can tell immediately she’s confident, probably well off—judging by the designer ‘come fuck me’ shoes she has on—and she definitely looks up for a good time. This is exactly the kind of girl I can tie up. Her rack is okay but her ass is to die for. Her strawberry-blonde hair is from a bottle for sure and she has big expressive brown eyes. She’s just the kind of distraction I need tonight.

  “Hi, I’m Sara. Mind if I sit here next to you or is your girlfriend in the restroom?” Smooth—getting the girlfriend question out of the way in the introduction. Yeah, this girl definitely gets around.

  “Sure, Sara, have a seat. There’s no girlfriend, just me. Can I buy you and your friends a drink?” The girls giggle, and I flag Dave over to take their orders. “Bill them all to my room, okay, Dave? Whatever these three lovely ladies want is on me tonight.”

  “Gotcha, Mike.”

  “So, Mike, are you visiting or do you live around here?”

  I flash her a smile, showing off my dimples which tends to reel girls in. “I’m here for work but just for the weekend. I decided to come down to the bar and see what kind of trouble I can get myself into tonight.”

  Sara’s friends are blushing and giggling, but Sara’s eyes are locked on mine—she’s definitely interested. “Well, I’m sure I can get you into all kinds of trouble if you’re interested.”

  Nice. She doesn’t beat around the bush. Leaning in real close, I whisper to her, “I don’t play games, Sara. I’m not the kind of guy that will give you my number, and no matter how good you fuck me, that won’t change. What I will do is give you multiple orgasms and pay for your cab home if you want to come up to my room and let me fuck you senseless.”

  I see a flush creep up her cheeks. She immediately pounds her drink, and turns to her friends, telling them they can leave and she’ll meet up with them later. The girls thank me for the drinks and head off to the slots. When Sara turns my way I can see desire flaming in her eyes.

  Dave comes back up and brings me another double shot. “Damn, thirty minutes, where does the time go?” Sara shoots him an odd look, but I just laugh as he walks away. Guess I have fifteen minutes left on the clock.

  “Mike, I like that you’re honest, so I’ll be honest as well. Here are the ground rules: I don’t need your number, I don’t even need you to remember my name. In fact, I might call you someone else’s name and you’re just going to have to be okay with that because old habits die hard. I don’t do anal, I won’t swallow unless it’s a relationship, and I won’t fuck without condoms. Deal?”

  Hell yeah, that’s a deal and a huge turn on. I’ve never been with a girl who’s this up front. “Deal, let’s go.” I throw a fifty dollar bill down for Dave and nod my head as he looks at me with admiration in his eyes as I walk off with Sara.

  Walking to the elevators, I can feel the gin kicking in—definitely not drunk, but hella buzzed and feeling no pain. Sara is a class a
ct, which is a welcome change. She isn’t groping me in the elevator, she’s not trying to hold my hand, and she isn’t trying to make out yet, all of which is fine with me. My room is all the way at the end of the hall. I open the door for her and give her a minute to look around.

  “Nice room, Mike. Not every guy splurges on a spa suite.”

  Walking up to her from behind, I move her hair out of the way and kiss her neck. “Well, I like to have a nice room to bring the ladies back to. Sometimes they like to clean up after I get them dirty.”

  Her body relaxes into mine, and I know I’ve got her right where I want her, so why do I suddenly feel nauseous? I’m sure it will pass. I turn her around and kiss her. Immediately, she thrusts her tongue into my mouth—which isn’t the biggest turn on—but whatever, different strokes for different folks. I back away a little bit and slow the kiss down. Trailing a line of kisses from her jaw line to her ear, nibbling on it just a little bit, I notice that smell. Not a bad smell at all. On the contrary, an all too familiar smell—one that I’ve missed so much, and now the nausea is coming in waves and I can’t hold it back anymore. I run to the bathroom and throw up over and over again.

  Sara is standing in the doorway. “Um, Sara, I’m really sorry but I think you better go.”

  Looking down at me, she seems pissed. I can’t say I blame her. “Yeah, I think that’s a great idea. You didn’t seem drunk, but I hope you are because I don’t need to get the flu. Have a nice night, Mike.”

  I hear the door close as I vomit again. Once I’m done emptying the contents of my stomach, I take my clothes off and lie down in bed.

  I’m not sick and I’m not drunk, not even close, but the smell of gardenias was too much. How did I not smell it until now? The one weekend I need to have Katherine completely out of my head and away from my heart and she comes slamming back into my life like a hurricane in the form of some damn perfume. What the fuck? It all comes rolling back to me and I curl up like a little kid and cry, finally letting it all out again after almost four years. I can feel all the emotions—how much I loved her, how what happened between us broke my heart, and how much I kick myself in the ass daily for ever letting my mom’s doubts consume my mind. I should’ve cooled down and apologized to her. I know I shattered her heart and soul. I was so cruel to her with the ring—taunting her, teasing her. Instead of throwing it in her face, I should’ve dropped to my knees and begged her to marry me. I should’ve told her life was too short, especially in light of what happened. I should’ve done a lot of things and I didn’t. I’m such a fucking dumb ass.

  I deserve this pain. I deserve to ache for the one girl who ever loved me, the one I loved with all my heart and soul. I miss her so much. I just want her back. I want us back. I’ve spent three years in denial, three long years missing her and acting like a fool. I don’t know if it’s too late, but when I get home I’m going to make some serious changes. I’m going to finally call my mom back, but not until I talk to Katherine, not until I make this right. I have only ever wanted one girl. From the first day I met her in second grade I knew I would marry her someday.

  When I get home I’ll talk to Daniel; he’ll help me figure this all out. If there’s anyone that won’t judge me it will be him. Daniel already knows how I am with women, he just doesn’t know the reason why. He doesn’t know I just use them to try and forget just for a little while. I don’t let them in—any of them—because my heart isn’t there, not anymore. I gave my heart away in second grade and I’ve never gotten it back. It always has, and always will, be hers to keep.

  Chapter 2 - Kate 3 years later

  “Oh, no you don’t, Kate. You are not doing this to me again!” yells Jess, my roommate and my best friend since…well…forever. Jess can be a bit of a drama queen at times, a trait she definitely gets from her mother.

  I look up from my notebook and roll my eyes at her to let her know that her dramatics are not going to work on me. “Jess, I have to study if I’m going to stay on top of things and graduate on time. You know I hate the social scene here and I never want to fall behind again like I did freshman year.”

  Jess looks at me with the biggest pouty face ever and begs, “Please, Kate? Please come with me to Connor’s party. I really want to go, and since I haven’t really known him that long I don’t want to go alone. Besides, you’re like his sister and he has someone he wants to introduce you to…”

  Seriously? How dare Connor just assume he can fix me up on some sort of blind sympathy date. He knows better. We only talked a few days ago about the possibility of me putting myself out there again and he’s presumptuous enough to think he can fix me up on my first date in ages? Of course he is; he’s Connor fucking Houston. As pissed off as I am, I have to admit a bit of morbid curiosity as to who it might be.

  Over the past year, I have heard all about his best friends Daniel, Jake, Mike, and April. I have yet to meet any of them in person, although I sort of feel like I already know them from Connor’s stories. Connor Houston is HOT! Scott Eastwood hot. Melt in your mouth hot. ‘Yes, you can fuck me right here, right now, in this room full of people just because you looked at me with come fuck me eyes and I don’t even know your name’ kind of hot. I can only begin to imagine what his friends look like. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t attracted to him at first. I met Connor last Spring when we shared a few classes together. I consider him one of my best friends, and even more so, I think of him like a brother. I am highly protective of him just as he is of me.

  Connor came into my life when I had decided to move forward, in baby steps of course, because I had been withdrawn for so long. Once we started talking and really getting to know each other, we realized just how well our friendship worked for both of us. I wasn’t in a place where I wanted anything romantic with anyone and he was looking for a friendship with a girl who wasn’t after him for his money and status. Connor is really sweet and absolutely hilarious and our friendship happened almost overnight. At least, it did once we got past the initial sexual tension; we’re both naturally open people, so of course we talked about sex. With Connor’s sex life we talked about sex a lot. I honestly think that most of the tension we experienced came from the fact that Connor thought I should be alleviated from my dry spell. Although, I feel like he is trying to help end my sexual drought by setting me up with his friend. Even though this is a self-imposed drought, he still insists that it needs to end.

  Connor, Jess, and I all have a sociology class together this semester. Jess has decided that Connor is meant to be her future boyfriend. She probably isn’t wrong, either. There’s so much sexual tension flowing between the two of them it’s a wonder they haven’t managed to be alone together yet or even go out on a real date. Connor has dated casually before, but never anything really serious. I’m pretty sure he likes Jess, I mean really likes her, and feels a little out of his element. It doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. Jess is drop dead gorgeous. Her mom is an International model and is on husband number five. Jess is tall—five feet eleven inches—with legs for days and curves in all the right places. She has jet black hair and cerulean blue eyes which, depending on her mood, can either freeze you in your place or have you melting in a million pieces, giving into her every want and desire. Tonight is not going to be one of those nights where she gets her way.

  I look up at her and shake my head no. I seriously need to study; I can’t let her distract me this semester. It’s our last year of college, and if I don’t keep my grades up I’ll never make it in grad school. I’m pursuing a double major, not exactly my preference—it’s just to keep my dad off my back. My father is an overbearing, narcissistic ass who runs a very successful computer software company. There is nothing Joseph Moore wants more than for me to take over the family business. Actually, he doesn’t want it as much as demand it, which is part of the problem. I’m going to be a Child Psychologist, but to keep the peace and to keep him paying my tuition, I’m taking twice the course load as a double major and pretty much
blowing off my entire college experience.

  Honestly, it really isn’t that big of a deal, though. I hate parties. All through high school, Jess dragged me to one, if not two, every weekend. It was different then—the homework wasn’t as bad and going out with Jess meant getting out of the house and away from my father. It also meant spending more time with Michael. I’m deep in thought when I hear Jess’s cell phone ring and listen in on her side of the conversation.

  “Hi, Connor. Of course I’ll be there, I wouldn’t miss it. I should be there in just about an hour or so. Hmmm, well that is a problem. Kate decided she doesn’t want to come. Oh, well of course I can understand that. I’ve been trying to talk her into this for about two hours now!”

  Oh my god, can you say drama queen? It’s been all of thirty minutes at the most! She sprung this whole thing on me at the last minute and I’m sure it was on purpose. Jess is looking at me and I know that look. She’s about to do something that I’m not going to like, I can totally tell.

  “Of course, she’s right here. You can talk to her yourself. See you soon, Connor.” She hands the phone to me and shrugs her shoulders as she walks away. I am seriously going to kill her! I take a deep breath and answer the phone.

  “Hi, Connor, what’s up?”

  “Kate, this is a little awkward. Jess told me you were for sure coming to my party, and I have this friend that I think you would really hit it off with, so I asked him to come down. It’s my friend Daniel; I’ve mentioned him to you before. He really doesn’t like to be set up, but I told him that you’re smart, funny, and super cute. I pretty much begged him to come to well, uh, score some points with Jess. Can you please come to the party for me? I’ll help you with your homework so you don’t get behind and I promise you don’t have to worry about Daniel. He’s coming off a break-up, and although I think the girl was a total bitch and it’s been over six months, he’s still nursing his wounds, so I don’t think he’ll try and make a move on you.”