Jumbo Jokes and Riddles Book
Page 13
A maze-d!
What does Sir Galahad turn on when he gets scared at night?
A knight light.
Fun fact
inkblot Tests
To create your own inkblot guessing game or test, you will need 10 blots. To make them, all you need are 10 pieces of paper folded once and then opened. Pour a little bit of paint on one side of the paper. Then, refold the paper, pressing gently on the blot. Open the paper again and let the paint dry. Now all you need is someone to test. Start by asking, “When you look at this picture, what do you see?”
In Centerville, it normally takes 2 days to send a letter from one house to another—1 day to mail it, and 1 to have it delivered. But Mrs. Smith always receives her mail the same day it is sent. How can that be?
How could the carpenter know how tall to make his door just by using his hands?
Write your own jokes here:
Chapter 18
Let's Play Sports
What’s So Funny?
Keep Pedaling!
Lance Pedlin is a famous biker who can pedal for hours on his bike. One day, he got on and started pedaling, and he kept going and going, but when he was done, he was still where he started.
What’s so funny?
What happens when a clumsy football player plays ball?
A field trip.
Why did the racecar driver jump into the pool?
He wanted to put in a few laps.
Why did the golfer have to buy new shoes?
He had a “hole in one.”
What did the high diver wear to his wedding?
A “swim” suit.
What does Dracula take with him when he goes to a ball game?
His bat.
What do dolphins wear to the beach?
Swim fins.
Words to Know
sense:
The ability to see, smell, hear, touch, and taste all of the things that you come in contact with are made possible by your 5 senses. Your brain relies on the senses to perceive the outside world.
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It’s Not Funny to Me!
No two people have exactly the same sense of humor. If you want to see this for yourself, you can conduct a little experiment. Find yourself 5 jokes and 5 volunteers. Read each joke separately to your volunteers, then write down who laughed at which ones. When you are done, you can chart your results and compare them. What did you discover?
If there are 9 players on a baseball team and 11 players on a football team, how many swimmers are there on the swim team?
The mountain climbers had almost reached the top of the cliff when their rope began to fray. For each inch they moved, 2 strands would break. The climbers had 49 inches to go, with a 100-ply rope. Will they make it?
When is 8 not twice as much as 4?
Amanda is an excellent swimmer. She can hold her breath for 2 minutes. She can also swim 300 yards in half an hour. So, can Amanda swim 25 yards without coming up for air?
What did one twine say to the other right before he fell into a hole?
JUMP, ROPE!
Why did the tennis players get into so much trouble?
They were making a lot of “racket.”
Where do basketball players settle their arguments?
In “court.”
How do swimmers get where they are going?
In car “pools.”
What sport did Little Red Riding Hood play best?
“Basket” ball.
What sport is after “nine”?
Ten-nis.
Night Games
Start with number 1 and connect all the dots in order.
What sports item hangs upside down from its toes?
A baseball “bat.”
What sport makes a lot of people “jumpy”?
Trampolining.
What is a baseball player’s favorite part of the playground?
The slide.
What do catchers wear when it gets cold out?
Their gloves.
What did the photographer say to the badminton rackets?
Watch the birdie!
What kind of shoes do woodpeckers dance in?
Tap shoes.
Fun fact
Calling Your Conscience
Did you know that there is a part of you that is very aware of what is going on around you all the time? It is called your conscience. Your conscious mind remembers and can recall different things that have happened to you.
If the pitching machine at Sports World shoots out 1 ball every 10 seconds while you are trying to hit it, how long will it take to empty the machine of its 90 balls?
John works in sports every day, yet he never goes home sore or tired or sweaty. How can this be?
Who am I?
I am the one who helped “Little Red” solve the riddle of my identity, by showing her what big teeth I have.
Who am I?
Do you see a pattern here? Number of catchers on a baseball team, number of teams in a game, number of strikes before an out, number of bases in a diamond.
Where do bad gymnasts go?
Behind parallel bars!
How did the archer get to the contest?
He followed the arrows.
Why do athletes need so much money?
Because of the “tro-fees.”
How do monarchs swim?
They do the butterfly stroke.
What is a washing machine’s favorite pastime?
Cycling.
What did the desperate golfer eat?
His sand-wedge.
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Overcoming Any Obstacle
Have you ever made a silly object obstacle course? You and your friends will have fun trying to see who can complete the course the fastest. Your course can include writing the first letter of your name in a plate of whipped cream, walking 20 steps with a tennis ball between your knees, and popping a balloon by sitting on it, as well as any other silly things you can think of. And the winner of the silly course gets a silly prize!
When Eve ran in track she was covered in sweat, yet by the time she was ready to go home, her skin was dry. Why?
When the school rowing team left the dock, they paddled for 15 minutes, then turned around. Ten minutes later they returned. How come it took them 5 minutes less to come back?
Hoops!
Fill in the answers to the clues, putting one letter in each numbered space. Then transfer the letters to the boxes that have the same numbers. When all the boxes are filled in correctly, you will have the answer to the riddle!
When Tina the tennis pro returned all of the balls that came to her, none came back to her. Why?
When Skip brought his new track shoes home, he realized the store clerk had put the wrong laces in the box. These laces were only half as long as they needed to be. What did Skip do?
Which one of these does not belong? Helmet, goalie, touchdown, quarterback.
Who am I?
Most people know me for my experiments with a dog and a bell. I trained my dog to be hungry each time I rang the bell. I liked to study the brain and people’s reflexes.
Who am I?
Fun fact
Underneath the Concsious
Your conscious mind is composed of all that you remember and have knowledge of. But there is another part of your mind, called your subconscious. The subconscious may store information without your remembering it.
When Kyle fell out of the boat, everyone waited for his return. After 20 minutes, he still did not come up for air. Why?
“I dive but use no water, I fly but have no wings, I land but have no wheels.” Who is it?
Balls of fun
There are many sports that have their own special ball to use. Can you unscramble the names of ten of these sports? When you’re finished, find your way through the maze of balls!
EXTRA FUN: Can you think of 10 more sports that use balls?
What do these words have in common? Hole, hazard, slice
, wood.
What do these things have in common? Diamond, slide, innings, umpire.
In what sport are you doing better as your score is getting lower?
Words to Know
IQ:
IQ or Intelligence Quotient is a measure of one’s ability to think. An IQ test allows people to measure genius as well as normal thinking ability.
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Test Your Reading Skills
You know how to read, but can you read upside down? Don’t worry, you don’t have to be hanging upside down. Just flip the book upside down and see if you can keep reading. Is it easy or difficult? As you may discover, it’s not easy! But, who knows, you may actually be able to read faster upside down than right side up!
What did the mountain climber tell her stinky boots to do?
Take a hike!
Where do all the sports shirts come from?
Jersey.
What did the hockey player ask the puck right before the game?
Want to “stick” around for a while?
Why don’t rockets play football? They prefer liftoffs to touchdowns.
What is a dish’s favorite pastime? “Bowl-ing.”
What did one sports shoe say to the other?
Nothing, they were tongue-tied.
What comes after a ball?
B ball.
What do baby basketballs do?
Dribble.
What sport hurts the most?
Paddleball.
What was Jack and Jill’s best sporting event?
Downhill racing.
Where do 4 woods hang out?
At a golf “club.”
What is a fly swatter’s favorite sport?
Squash.
First base ball game day. What should come next?
“I have a tongue, but cannot speak. I have a toe, but have no feet.” What is it?
Who am I?
When Belle tried to solve the mystery of her missing father, she found a new mystery in me. She was a beauty, and she transformed me into a beautiful person as well.
Who am I?
Chapter 19
All in the Family
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A Matter of Symmetry
Being symmetrical means that your right side and left side are mirror images of each other. The human body is symmetrical because we have 2 eyes, 2 arms, and 2 legs, and they are very much alike. But do they act the same? For example, most people have one hand that they prefer writing with. But what if you tried writing with a hand you don’t normally use? If you can do most things with both hands, you are what they call “ambidextrous.”
What type of father has no sole?
The barefoot type.
What did Samuel Wilson become when he married an aunt?
Uncle Sam.
If you can’t tell your Grandpa something, what do you do?
Telegram (tell a Gram)!
Which one of Mother Earth’s children warms her heart the most?
Her “sun”!
What did the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe need more than anything else?
A break!
What does your mother’s sister become when she’s nervous?
Aunt-sy.
If two twins were both to marry and they both had twins, and then their twins had twins, how many twins would there be?
Every year Dillon gets older, he gets a dollar more for his birthday. How much money will he have when he is 10?
Words to Know
humor::
Something that is designed to be comical or amusing. Jokes and comedy are said to be humorous, because they can make us laugh.
Who am I?
It was my job to solve the riddle of the missing girl who lost her glass slipper. The only way to solve the problem was to try the shoe on every foot in the kingdom.
Who am I?
What was the piano’s father’s father?
His “grand” pa.
What do you call it when your sister demands to enter?
In-Sis-ting.
Who takes care of baby moths?
Their moth-er.
Where do apples search for their roots?
In their family tree.
What does a little doe call her mother?
Mommy deer.
What do you call a ladder’s kid?
Its step child.
Let’s say that in the Wilkins family, X = red hair, and Y = brown hair, and Z = blonde hair. If there are 2 times more X’s than Y’s or Z’s, what are the odds of the fifth child having blonde hair?
Fun fact
Just What the Doctor Ordered
Some say laughter is the best medicine, and that may very well be true. Without laughter or happiness you may become sad or depressed. To snap out of it, it’s possible that all you need is a good laugh.
Words to Know
sarcasm:
Humorous comments made with an ironic tone. People may use sarcasm to make a negative point.
Identical twins Cindy and Wendy took a long walk in the forest. After a while they decided to play hide and seek. Cindy quickly found Wendy . . . or so she thought. Soon, it turned out that Cindy had actually found herself.
How could this be?
When David called a family of ducks over to feed them, his voiced echoed throughout the hills. But when the ducks called back, David only heard one reply. Why?
What is a family of kittens after they are 13 days old?
2 weeks old.
Why was Old Mother Hubbard so scared of her cupboards?
They were “bear.”
What did Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater’s wife sell?
Shells by the seashore.
What did King Tut call his mother?
Mummy.
Who had the angriest child in history?
Dolly Madison (“mad is son”).
What is small, buzzes, and lives by the water?
Bay bees (babies).
What’s So Funny?
One day, Wendy told her mother that she wasn’t sure why, but it seemed like suddenly her whole world had turned upside down. Everyone was frowning and nothing was as it was supposed to be. Not even gravity.
What’s so funny?
Who were the Wrong Sisters’ siblings?
The Wright Brothers.
How many kids did Daniel’s uncle have?
None, his aunt had all of them.
How did the baby cabbage know he was winning?
He was a “head” of the game.
What kind of family reunions do puzzles have?
They gave “get (it) togethers.”
What did the fishing poles always wish for?
A “reel” family.
What do track stars call their family members?
Relay-tions.
Who am I?
As a cartoonist and movie producer, I wanted to share my “world” with you. I hope that you could see it wasn’t such a small world, after all. Someday you may “land” at one of my amusement parks.
Who am I?
Big Brothers
Mr. and Mrs. Wood have a large family. They have always been married to each other, and neither one has any children with anyone else. How is it possible, then, that one child in the Wood family has four brothers, while another child in the Wood family has five brothers?
The answer to this brain teaser is hidden in the letter grid. Use these clues to help figure it out:
• The answer starts in one of the four corners.
• You read the answer in logical order, one word after the other.
• You must add the punctuation.
The Family Name Game
Some brides combine their old last name with their new husband’s last name. See if you can make some familiar compound words by matching up the pictures that represent the last names of each bride and groom. Write each bride’s new last name in the numbered boxes.
EXTRA FUN: The first seven names will criss-cross with name number eight!<
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What were the Three Little Kittens who lost their mittens?
Cold.
What do suits have that no one else can have?
Family ties.
Why wouldn’t Jack in the Beanstalk’s mother let him watch football?
Because of the Giants.
Whom did the bug’s uncle marry?
His “ant.”
Why did they take Tina’s cousin away 2 times?
Because he was twice removed.
What was the shredder’s distant grandmother called?
Grate, grate, grate grandmother.
If 3 sisters have 3 daughters each, and each of their daughters has 3 daughters, how many females are in their family?
While Cassie and her mother were shopping, her mother asked if Cassie would bring her a pair. “A pair of what?” asked Cassie. “Just one pair,” answered her mom. What did she mean?
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