Lacey Luzzi: S'mored: A humorous, cozy mystery! (Lacey Luzzi Mafia Mysteries Book 5)

by Gina LaManna

  “Sounds lovely. Well, I’m going to head back to the kitchen now—”

  “I did have one small thing, Lacey dear.” Nora cleared her throat, finally getting to the thing she’d been dancing around this entire call. “I heard from Marco this morning, and he said you’re planning on kicking him and his two friends out today.”

  “Yes, I mentioned that last night to you and to him,” I said. “We have a full house here, and I think it’s best—”

  “Just consider letting him stay another night.” Though Nora’s words gave me a choice, her not-so-subtle undertones didn’t. Her tone told me that the cabin was hers, and I should let the guests stay.

  “But—”

  “Just consider it, darling. Have they bothered you?”

  I thought of Marco’s arm around my shoulders. “A little.”

  “Well, I do want you to be happy, and I won’t sacrifice that for anything. But just think about it. I’d really appreciate it if you could bear to keep them around for another day.”

  “I’ll consider it. But it might be helpful if you can tell me why it’s so important that he’s here.”

  “I can’t tell you that, dear. I’ve got to go now.” With an abrupt click, Nora left me on the line without a goodbye.

  What on earth was she going on about? If hosting Marco and friends was about smoothing over Family ties, then why hadn’t Carlos asked for my help instead of Nora? Maybe Carlos didn’t know about Nora’s request. That would make sense if Nora was trying to set me up with a husband. But even so…if she wanted me to be happy, why on earth was she pushing me so hard towards someone with whom I shared zero chemistry?

  Chapter 15

  “Get a load of this.” Meg shook her head admiringly at the scene before her. “It’s the Italian inquisition.”

  “What’s happening?” I asked, rejoining the party in the kitchen after Nora’s cryptic phone call. I stood by Meg’s side, next to the center island. Sitting across from one another, Anthony and Marco sat in complete silence. Neither man spoke, they merely watched one another warily.

  “Anthony told Marco that if he wants to stay, he has to let Anthony interview him!” Meg hissed. “Girl, I think Anthony’s jealous.”

  “What does he have to be jealous of?” I glanced at Meg, keeping my voice quiet enough so that I didn’t interrupt the interview. “I stated very bluntly that I wasn’t interested in Marco and that Anthony was my boyfriend.”

  “Men,” Meg grunted.

  “What brings you here?” Anthony began with the questions.

  Marco responded in Italian. I couldn’t understand a word of his answer.

  “Please, English so the ladies can understand.” Anthony flicked his eyes my way.

  Marco looked annoyed for a moment, then nodded. “Of course. Anything for my lady.”

  “I’m not your lady,” I chimed in. “I’m just Lacey. I’m my own lady.”

  “Dude, Marco,” Meg shook her head. “You need a new pickup line. It’s not working.”

  “Who are you? Where are you from? And why are you here?” Anthony asked, his tone serious.

  “You have no business knowing.” Marco crossed his stumpy little arms.

  “I certainly have business knowing.” Anthony’s eyes flashed with energy; he was in his element. “And if you’re such a dear friend to Nora and Carlos, you won’t have any problem giving me the answers I need. Then, I’ll consider leaving you alone.”

  “I’m a friend of Nora’s,” Marco clarified.

  “Lacey was kind enough to let you stay here on good faith last night. I’m not so nice. If you don’t give me the answers I need, I’ll have you removed from the premises.” Anthony’s arms twitched as if anxious to remove Marco himself. “You and your two friends.”

  “How you know Alfie and Dan?” Marco looked confused.

  Anthony leaned forward, his voice low. “I’m watching you. Now answer the damn questions.”

  Marco cleared his throat and puffed his chest out, but his attempt to be bold and brave fell far short.

  “I will answer, then.” He took a sip of espresso. “I am from Milano, the north of Italy. Alfie and Dan are from Chicago. All three of us are Italian, obviously, and my grandfather knew Lacey’s grandfather back in Italy.”

  “What does that have to do with your showing up at my girlfriend’s vacation house?” Anthony’s voice remained level, streaked with a threat.

  I barely heard Marco’s response, focusing instead on the fact that Anthony had called me his girlfriend. Though we held the “relationship” title now, I still wasn’t used to him admitting it in public, in front of others. I definitely liked it.

  “I don’t know how our grandparents knew each other, but I do know that Carlos and my grandfather fell out of touch. I immigrated to America one month ago, and I know nobody. Alfie and Dan are Italian also, so when I met them I asked them to be my friends. We live in piccola – how you say? Little Italy.”

  I bit into a piece of toast, my nose wrinkling at the stale flavor. I caught Meg eyeing it hungrily, so I passed my plate to her. She happily devoured it, making me feel a tiny bit good about my attempt at cooking. Maybe I had inherited Nora’s talents in the kitchen. That didn’t bode well for Anthony – an Italian girlfriend who couldn’t cook. I was a rare bird, that’s for sure.

  “You’re still not telling me why you’re here. Now. Today.” Anthony shifted from his stool, taking the moment to stand and stretch. He’d dressed in his standard black shirt and pants, and the sheer number of abs visible through the material worked as a threat against Marco.

  Marco must have deduced a similar threat because he fiddled with his espresso cup. “My mother in Italy talk with Lacey’s grandmother, Nora. The two ladies figure that we’re about the same age, we’re both Italian, and Lacey is okay-looking.”

  “Whoa, whoa! Only okay?” I held up my hand. “My own grandmother said I was okay-looking?”

  “You’re better than okay,” Meg chimed in. “But I think if you let me dress you, we could really bump up your status to sexpot. You know, really work your assets.” I stared at the heavens, telling myself I’d never go on vacation again. It was more relaxing working on an assignment for Carlos, and that wasn’t saying much.

  “Lacey, it’s simple. You’re of the age to have babies. Nora wants great-grandbabies.” Marco smiled, his eyes shining. “I want babies and woman.”

  “Oh, my goodness,” I sighed into the crumbs on my plate.

  “So, you came up here just to meet Lacey?” Anthony crossed his arms over his chest. “Your mother and Nora set up this little rendezvous to surprise Lacey, and that’s it? There’s nothing else?”

  “This is just about getting married,” Marco said. “When I explained to Nora that I wanted a woman and babies, she invited me up here the same weekend as her granddaughter, to meet. Alfie, Dan, and I – we flew from Chicago to Minneapolis and drove here. And then last night, I met Lacey, mi amore.”

  “I’m not your woman, and I’m not your amore,” I said. “Just to throw that out there. I had nothing to do with planning my future wedding with you.”

  “And what are your plans now that Lacey has explained she wants nothing to do with you?” Anthony locked eyes with Marco. I could tell the thought of my not being interested had never crossed Marco’s mind.

  Marco raised a hand to cover his mouth as he cleared his throat. “Ahh, well. I work to take Lacey back as my bride.”

  “That’s kidnapping, for starters. Secondly, don’t I get a say in my future?” I crossed my arms.

  “It’s not kidnapping if you fall in love with me.” Marco shrugged.

  “Marco, I...” I sighed. I just couldn’t explain anymore. Clearly, nothing was getting through to the man. “I need a real breakfast. Meg, are you interested?”

  Meg swallowed the last of Anthony’s leftover toast and set her dish in the sink. “That sounds fabulous.”

  “I’m coming with you,” Anthony said. “Protection.”


  “No, please.” I walked across the room, placing my hand gently on his chest and lightly kissing his cheek. “I appreciate all you’ve done, but this is still a ladies’ weekend, and I promised Meg some girl time. Let us go get breakfast in peace, please.”

  “Where are you going?” Anthony asked.

  “There’s a diner in town, I’m sure. We’ll just head that way and stop at the first pancake house we can find.” I didn’t quite meet Anthony’s eyes. There was the slight fact that we might stop by Gabe’s on the way back, and I didn’t want him to worry.

  “Do you have your phone on you?” Anthony raised an eyebrow.

  I nodded.

  “Will you answer if I call?” he asked.

  I grinned. “Of course.”

  “Will you answer if I call?” Marco asked.

  I shook my head and grabbed my keys from the counter. “We won’t be gone long. Just let us have some alone time to girl talk.”

  Meg and I waltzed out of the house, down the front steps to the porch. As soon as I saw the Lumina, I turned around and waltzed right back inside.

  “That was quick.” Anthony had barely moved from his intimidating stance in the kitchen doorway.

  “Can I use someone’s keys?” I asked the room in general. “I’m not driving my car.”

  “The body’s gone,” Anthony said. “The police took it away last night once they were done taking pictures and gathering what they needed. I had a cleaning crew come by before you were awake this morning.”

  “That is incredibly sweet of you, but I’m still not taking my car.” I shivered. “Please don’t make me take it.”

  Anthony moved to pull keys from his pocket. “How about I chauffeur you to the diner?”

  Marco was quicker to respond. “Use my car, mi amore. A thank you for letting me stay another night.”

  “Another night?” My eyes narrowed. “No. If I take your car that means you can’t leave.”

  “I wouldn’t leave anyway. Not without saying goodbye,” Marco said. “So you might as well use it and have fun.”

  I considered his proposition. If he wasn’t going to be leaving anyway, then what was the harm in borrowing his car?

  “Thank you very much,” I huffed. I appreciate it. We won’t be gone long.”

  Chapter 16

  “This is amazing.” Meg stared at her concoction of hash browns, gravy, fries, mayo, ketchup, and a variety of other greasy looking things. “This diner is the holy grail of breakfast food.”

  “Thanks, sweets!” The sweetest, tiniest woman I’d ever met swooped by the old-timey counter, heaping another serving of potatoes onto Meg’s plate. “I’m Laurelei. I own the place. Glad to hear you’re liking the food.”

  “This isn’t a matter of like.” I shook my head, halfway done with my plate already. “I think I’m in love.”

  “Well, no matter how long I’m here, that’s still music to my ears. My husband, he died twenty years ago, and I kept this place up all by my lonesome.” On the outside, the woman looked like the perfect grandmother: coiffed gray hair, a syrup-scented, adorable apron draped over her shoulders, and a ready smile for anyone who walked in the door.

  Which is why I was so surprised the first time I heard her speak. Her voice came out as gravelly as a torn up side street, and I caught a glimpse of a tattoo peeking out from under her T-shirt as she poured me more coffee.

  “How long have you been here?” I asked our hostess. I nodded towards Meg. “We’re having a girls’ weekend, and it’s the first time we’ve been to Tonka.”

  “I been here since the glaciers cleared out, honey,” Laurelei said with a smile. “This here’s my home. What did you say your names were?”

  “I’m Lacey and this is Meg,” I said, speaking for my friend who was busy inhaling sausage.

  “Pleasure to meet ya.” Laurelei glanced at Meg. “I like your friend here, she knows how to eat like a real woman. Can I get you some more?”

  “Boy, do I wish I could answer yes,” Meg said, patting her stomach. “But I am full to the brim, and if I have one more bite I will burst. And I don’t want to do that to your restroom, ma’am.”

  Laurelei barked a laugh that morphed into a cough. She shook her head affectionately. “Oh Meg, you sweet thang.”

  “Say, Ms. Laurelei,” I said, casually leaning over the counter.

  The place was a real, old-school diner complete with leather swivel chairs behind the bar and pictures from the local Tonka newspaper up on every wall. “What’s new in town? We just got in last night, and the rumor on the street is that your diner here is the place to come for the latest news. Anything we should be doing while we’re here?”

  Laurelei blew out cigarette smoke from behind the counter, standing off to the side as if I wouldn’t be able to smell the smoke from a few feet away. “Stay safe.”

  “What on earth do you mean?” I glanced at Meg, hoping she understood that we were to play it cool. I wanted to hear the locals’ perspectives of the happenings around town.

  “Didn’t you hear about the dead guy?” Laurelei said, her voice hushed. “I heard they found him late last night, bleeding out of twenty holes in his head.”

  “Wow, that sounds terrible.” I gave Meg a pointed look. She’d stopped chewing, and I didn’t want her giving anything away, even on accident. “Any idea what’d drive someone to do that?”

  “Oh, I dunno,” Laurelei said. “I don’t have the slightest idea. Do you?”

  I shook my head. “Where’d they find him?”

  Laurelei paused. Meg looked at me as if I were an idiot. Then, at the same time, both Meg and Laurelei spoke. “In your trunk.”

  I looked between the two, wondering if they’d met before.

  “Jinx, you owe me a Coke!” Meg laughed.

  “Lacey, are you trying to play me for a fool?” Laurelei pulled a Coke from the fridge and slid it down the bar to Meg. “Don’t look so surprised, honey. I know everything that happens here in Tonka, including your arrival.”

  I shot Meg an accusatory glare, as if she’d had something to do with Laurelei finding out about the crime scene.

  But Laurelei waved a hand dismissively. “Before you go getting all upset at your friend, she didn’t say a thing to me. Billy – the fire chief’s oldest kid – told me about the body this morning, when he stopped by for his daily breakfast. Two eggs and a piece of toast. Skinny little thing.”

  Still trying to shake off my surprise, it took me a minute to put the pieces of the puzzle together and find an appropriate response. “Do the police know anything about the murder yet?” As soon as I spoke, I glanced around the diner to make sure that we were, in fact, alone. To my relief, the place was empty.

  Besides the newspaper clippings on the wall, the place had been simply furnished. Tables lined the edges of the restaurant while license plates, trophies, and sports patches lined the wall behind the bar. Nora would be proud. In the back corner sat a small microphone, the kind usually used for karaoke in a dive bar. I made a note to ask about where Gabe’s was located, so Meg and I could get double the gossip. Laurelei’s had been an unexpected gem to find, and we were lucky to have stumbled upon the place.

  Laurelei looked pointedly at me. “Are you being nosy, Miss Luzzi? Would Carlos approve?”

  “Hang on. You know I’m a Luzzi?” I looked at the table, embarrassed she’d let me carry on my ruse for so long before calling me out.

  “Like I said, I know everything,” Laurelei repeated.

  “Me too,” Meg chirped. “I’m a seer. Figured out my psychic powers a few days ago when I met a real witch named Anastasia.”

  “Anastasia’s not a witch,” I clarified.

  “I’m not either,” Laurelei said. “And I’m also not an idiot. I know you’re staying over at Carlos’s vacation house, and that man don’t let anyone stay there except family. That, and you’ve got your mother’s nose.”

  I raised a hand to my larger-than-average schnoz. “You knew
my mother?”

  “They used to come here back when she was a child,” Laurelei said. “You don’t look much like her – must have been your father’s genes – but the nose and the eyes, something about the way you carry yourself is familiar.”

  “I’ve never heard stories about my mother from when she was little,” I said quietly. “Carlos and Nora don’t talk about her much.”

  “Is she…” Laurelei trailed off. “She ran away, didn’t she?”

  I nodded. “She passed away just over three years ago. As far as I know, she never had contact with her family again.”

  “I’m real sorry, dear.” Laurelei’s voice turned somber, and I knew she meant it to her core. “Your mother made this earth a better place.”

  I forced a small smile, but I couldn’t speak. A lump clogged my throat, and my eyes had begun the familiar tingle that always accompanied painful memories of my mom.

  “It was that man, wasn’t it?” Laurelei shook her head. “I knew it. That’s the reason she ran away, wasn’t it? Your grandmother, ah, yes. I remember it now. The summer after your mother ran away, Nora was a wreck. I couldn’t get her to eat an egg to save my life. Just about killed that woman to lose her daughter. It hurts my heart to hear they never reconciled.”

  I’d never considered how my mother’s disappearance might have affected Nora back in the day. Now, my grandmother was a cheery, sprightly thing full of life and energy, and it was hard to imagine her falling apart, or feeling any pain at all.

  But over twenty years – nearly thirty, to be exact – had passed since the day my mother ran away, pregnant with me. Nora had since had time to heal, to figure out how to cope with the extreme emotions of becoming separated from her child.

  A wave of guilt crashed into me as I realized how selfish I’d been these last few years. Nora, Carlos, and I rarely spoke of my mother. When I’d shown up on their doorstep, I hadn’t considered that I was delivering the news of their daughter’s death…how that might affect them, hurt them deeply. They’d managed their shock well, probably because they didn’t want to lose me in the same way they’d lost their daughter. Early on in my relationship with my grandparents, I’d asked often about my mother. Why she’d left, why she’d kept me secret from them – but I’d never gotten a straight answer.