Lacey Luzzi: S'mored: A humorous, cozy mystery! (Lacey Luzzi Mafia Mysteries Book 5)

by Gina LaManna

Luke rolled over onto the hardwood floor, impressing me with his level of dedication to doing as Meg asked.

  “Thanks, honeybee,” Meg said. “Guess what, sugar plum? Now we match. I got a bullet wound on my butt during my last job. In case anyone’s wondering, my butt-scratch is still healing.”

  “I’m sure we were all wondering,” The Fish said dryly.

  “You want to know what I’m wondering?” I chanced a glance over my shoulder at the man who’d threatened my family. I looked forward once I realized the gun was still uncomfortably close to my nostril.

  “What’s that?” The Fish was so close, his breath raised the hairs on the back of my neck.

  Trying not to let my fear show through on my face, I swallowed and spoke evenly. “The reason you’re here. Why? Why here?”

  “Why are you surprised to see me, Lacey?” The Fish’s breath smelled sharp – cinnamon mixed with a strong, expensive cologne that twisted my insides. “I told you I’d be back. I also told you to have better manners by the time I came around, but I see that hasn’t happened.”

  “Is that job opportunity you mentioned still open?” Meg nudged me with her elbow. “If you let Lacey go, I’ll consider being your assistant like you asked on the car ride from Anastasia’s house.”

  “Tempting, but it sounds like you’re already...attached.” The Fish’s eyes scanned the floor, to where Luke grew paler by the second. “I liked your independence before. But I don’t like attachments. They’re weaknesses.”

  “No.” My voice was firm. “That is false. Meg is the best attachment you could ever hope to have, not that you deserve her.”

  “Really?” The Fish took a few steps to the side, his gun still trained in my general direction. Nobody dared move as The Fish gestured for me to continue. “Do go on...I’m curious.”

  “It takes more bravery to have a relationship – an attachment, as you say – than it does to work alone. Meg just offered to work for you if you agree to let me go. Who’s offering anything for you?” I asked, raising my hands. “Who’s got your back? What Meg did takes more, excuse my French, gonads than you’ll ever have.”

  “I do have ginormous, excuse my French, gonads,” Meg said proudly.

  Glancing towards a horrified-looking Luke, who had now turned a shade of green with a side of pale, she shook her head. “We’re talking figurative, Luke. Not literal. I’m two hundred and fifty percent female, trust me.”

  “We have no doubt,” The Fish said. “But Lacey...you seem to feel quite strongly about this. So tell me now, where are the rest of your attachments? These relationships you speak of? Anthony – if I remember correctly – shouldn’t he be here?”

  Without knowing it, The Fish had delivered a sucker punch to my gut. I fell silent, unable to come up with a response. I’d been focused solely on Meg’s loyalty, her selflessness. I hadn’t considered that The Fish would recall mine and Anthony’s relationship.

  “Trouble in paradise?” The Fish asked.

  “Shut up,” Meg said. “Shut up, or I’ll…I’ll figure something out once you set that gun down.”

  “Sore subject. I’m sorry to hear that, Lacey.” The Fish moved closer, his eyes so pale they were almost translucent, his hair dark as tar. The combination was jarring. “Trust me on this, you’re better off alone.”

  I shook my head.

  “I’m not here to argue with you, Lacey—” he started.

  I cut him off. “Then why are you here? You never answered.”

  “I told you I’d be back, so here I am. I’m ready to make good on the favor you owe me.” He cast a sharp eye over to where Marvin had begun to inch off his bar stool. “I wouldn’t move if I were you, Twiggy. Unless you want to end up like your friend.”

  Marvin paled, glancing at Luke who was doing an excellent job of putting on a brave face. But I could see his resolve fading. Luke would probably live if he received medical attention. But if not...

  “I don’t owe you any favors,” I said. “I still don’t know why you brought me to Carlos’s. Why you hate us so much.”

  “Ah, yes. Well, that’s not your fault, and for that I do apologize. But a man must pay for his mistakes, and I warned Carlos to stop bothering me. I told him if he didn’t let up, I’d have to take measures to stop him. Unfortunately, that comes in the form of using you to help.”

  “I don’t understand. What is Carlos doing?” My voice faltered. For a brief moment, I wondered if maybe Carlos was in the wrong. If he’d done something that might provoke retribution from a man as clever and sharp as The Fish.

  Just as quickly, I disliked myself for doubting my Family. I should’ve asked Carlos for details when The Fish appeared the first time, but I assumed the issue had been taken care of; it wasn’t as if Carlos included me on any matters of deep, essential importance to the family. He just gave me ad hoc tasks that didn’t require knowledge of sensitive material.

  “I’ll show you.” The Fish smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “But you’ll have to come with me.”

  Horror immediately filled my veins and I wanted to lash out, tell him that I’d never in a million years go with him. But it only took a moment for common sense to sink in, and with a note of resignation in my voice, I bowed my head. “Only if you leave everyone else here alone. Then I’ll go with you.”

  “You’re not going alone,” Meg said, her voice firm.

  “You’re taking me alone,” I said, my eyes still locked on The Fish. “That’s the deal.”

  “I have no problem with that.” He scanned the room, taking in the mismatched gang of people sprawled across the furniture. “No sense wasting any more time here. If you get that man medical attention within the next twenty minutes, he’ll be fine. However, if you try to stop Lacey and me from leaving, you won’t need to be calling an ambulance, if you catch my drift. He’ll end up just like Lacey’s trunk buddy.”

  Suddenly things began to fall into place. “It was you…you killed Facelli.”

  The Fish turned to face me, and I could read the message in his eyes, loud and clear. He didn’t show the slightest hint of surprise at the name, as if he knew exactly who Facelli was, and exactly how he’d ended up in my trunk.

  I stepped closer. “But why? Why me? What does Facelli have to do with anything?”

  “He was a warning,” The Fish said, his tone bored. “I bet none of you bozos have discovered the reason Facelli got in trouble with the Chicago crowd, have you?”

  I remained silent, as did everyone else.

  “He got in trouble because of me. He double crossed his bosses there and came to work for me.” The Fish smiled, and this time it lit up his face. “I have a way of getting things I want from people, regardless of who they work for. Regardless of the consequences. Regardless of their loyalties.”

  “So you bribed Facelli to double cross Chicago. He turned on them.” I paused, the wheels turning in my brain. “So they exiled him and kicked him out of the city, and he came up this way.”

  “Very good,” The Fish said. “You really are Sherlock-ette Holmes, my dear.” The words oozed with sarcasm.

  “But then he must have had second thoughts,” I puzzled aloud. “He hatched a plan to get back in Chicago’s good graces. Something about the diamond business...something to do with Luke and Marvin.”

  The Fish yawned. “You’re running out of time to figure this out. You know, Lacey, we’ll have plenty of time to talk in the car.”

  Another thought crossed my mind then. “Marvin, Luke…do either of you know this man?” They both shook their heads.

  “Strike two,” The Fish said.

  “Hey, I can count, buddy,” Meg burst out. “What the heck happened to strike one?”

  “I felt like skipping it,” The Fish said, his voice slithering coolly. “And never forget, the guy with the gun makes all of the rules.”

  With perspiration beginning to bead on my forehead, I tried again. “Well, he did something to make you mad. Otherwise, why would you h
ave killed him?” I stubbed my toe against the floor, stalling for time. “Did he double cross you back in Chicago?”

  The Fish’s expression flatlined. I was onto something.

  “I know what it is...” I shook my head. “You thought Facelli was working for you. But he decided he didn’t like working for you. So he offered to double cross you to get back in Chicago’s good graces. The diamonds were supposed to be delivered to your hands, but he gave them to Chicago. Am I right?”

  “Bingo.” The Fish’s tone of voice was nonchalant, but his posture remained tense, his eyes burning. “You’re just missing one key part.”

  “What’s that?” Meg asked. “I thought Lacey did a fine job solving that little brain teaser.”

  “Nobody double crosses me.” The Fish took a few steps towards the staircase, raking the room with the tip of his gun. “You’d all do well to remember that.”

  “But why my trunk—”

  “A warning, Lacey, to you and your Family. I asked Carlos for a favor – stop messing with my business. He didn’t listen. I don’t like when people don’t listen to me. I asked Carlos for a simple favor, just like I asked Facelli for a simple favor. Unfortunately, you didn’t feel the need to tell Carlos about the body in your trunk, so my warning wasn’t delivered.”

  I took long, deep breaths. So this whole thing had been a warning for Carlos, and I was just the go-between. I didn’t much like this game of telephone.

  “Why didn’t you tell him about this?” The Fish gave a one-shoulder shrug. “It seems you tell him everything else.”

  “Not true,” Meg cut in. “She hasn’t told him about her and Anthony yet.”

  I rolled my eyes towards the ceiling.

  “Whoops. Probably shouldn’t have said that. Bad, Meg.” She raised her eyebrows, looking sheepish.

  Ignoring the exchange, he continued. “Carlos would have recognized it for the warning it was, but only because we have a history...a history that goes far beyond anything you’ve ever known in your short life, Lacey.” The Fish seemed to be lost in memories I’d never know or understand. A moment later, he snapped out of it, and a calm, collected look passed over his face as The Fish resumed his clipped, clean dictation.

  “Let’s go.”

  With a helpless glimpse at Meg and a worried look at Luke, I understood that now was not the time to argue. Luke needed medical attention, and the longer I stayed here, the more likely something bad would happen to my friend. I couldn’t risk Meg getting injured on my account, not again. After all, her rear end was still healing from the last guy we’d encountered on an assignment.

  “Get him help,” I instructed Meg, forcing my voice not to crack, “I’ll be fine.”

  “We’ll save you, Lacey. I promise you that,” Meg said. “I’m your attachment for life.”

  With a small, brave smile, Meg nodded reassuringly in my direction. I returned the best smile I could muster, which was a pretty pathetic showing, before I followed The Fish up the yacht’s stairs.

  I made it halfway before the entire ship went dark.

  Chapter 36

  The only glimmer of light came from the stars. Complete silence descended on the yacht.

  I held my breath, waiting in the calm before the...smoke storm?

  All at once, a few small, circular devices bounced down the staircase and into the cabin where Meg and the diamond runners were still captive. Meg yelled a few unintelligible words, bodies thunked, and I did my best to hold my breath. I opened my mouth to call out, but at the last second stopped myself. If I screamed, he’d be able to find me. If I remained quiet, maybe I could disappear into the smoke.

  I pressed my body against the wall, making myself as small as possible. More smoke in a variety of colors exploded above and below the deck, enveloping all of my senses. My eyes teared, my tongue tasted the burn, and my nostrils became coated with thick layers of charred smog.

  Footsteps thundered above deck. I didn’t know who they belonged to, though I hoped for my sake they were Luzzi feet. Anthony, maybe? I didn’t dare get my hopes up. It could just as easily be any number of persons or groups wanting in on the action.

  My back pressed against the wall, I slid to the floor. I flopped onto my stomach and tried to army crawl up the staircase. If I could just get a breath of fresh air…

  An icy hand clamped down on my wrist. I couldn’t help the shriek escaping from my lips. Smog flooded my mouth, and I coughed, knowing without being able to see that The Fish had found me. It didn’t matter who was on deck, dumping one smoke bomb after another down the staircase. The Fish was getting away, and it didn’t look like he planned on leaving me behind.

  “Follow me, or you and your friend are dead,” The Fish warned.

  Judging by his terse tone, I guessed that he didn’t know anything about the surprise attack. Which, if it wasn’t Luke or Marvin’s doing, left a wide-open chance that Anthony might have figured out something was going wrong and come to help.

  I shouted a stream of nonsensical words as loud as possible. Anthony’s name came up a few times, as well as Meg’s and Clay’s. I wasn’t really paying attention to the letters I’d strung together, I was just stream-of-conscious-ing in the moment. I might have mentioned mashed potatoes and cookies, but it didn’t matter. I just wanted someone to hear me.

  Unfortunately, my shouting had only one result. A firm smack to the head with the butt of The Fish’s gun.

  “Shut up, Lacey,” he snarled. “Come with me, or next time I’m firing.”

  The dizziness set in, full force now. The stairs wobbled before me as The Fish half-dragged me up them, cursing me to use my legs and walk. But his words seemed farther and farther away. Blood dripped from the back of my head – I could feel it, wet and sticky, when I reached my hand back. Not to mention, I didn’t like blood. So when I noticed the small splatters of shiny red liquid dripping on the floor near my feet, a strong wooziness drowned out anything The Fish was saying.

  I took one more step before my body gave out, and I sprawled onto the steps. I reached out, clasping someone’s hairy ankle before succumbing to the darkness. The swirling smoke twisted before my eyes as I faded deep into unconsciousness.

  Chapter 37

  “Sugar, are you okay?”

  The words pricked at my brain through a black fog, confusing the heck out of me. I could pick out Anthony’s voice, but then there was a girl...Meg, where was Meg? It wasn’t her voice I could hear murmuring above me. A warm hand clasped my wrist and I flinched; the last time someone had yanked my wrist, a blow to the head followed soon after, and my reflexes still remembered it.

  “It’s me.” The fog started to dissipate and I could make out Anthony’s calm voice. But there was a note of something else. Hurt? Fear? Sadness?

  I wanted to explain that I wasn’t flinching from his touch, that it’d been a gut reaction left over from The Fish, but I couldn’t get my voice to work.

  “Come on, sugar. Open your eyes,” Anthony commanded me gently, slipping his hand behind my head and trying to pull me into a sitting position.

  When his fingers grazed the wound on the back of my head I flinched again, but the pain helped to shock me back into consciousness as I swatted Anthony’s hand away. Finally, I opened my eyes, meaning to thank him for rescuing me, but it wasn’t his face holding a penlight and staring into my eyes. It was her.

  “What are you doing here?” My voice came out harsher than I intended. I raised a hand to block the light blinding my pupils.

  “Lacey, please, everything is okay now, let me explain. It’s not what you think, I promise you.” Anthony eased closer to me, brushing Leanne out of the way as he took both of my hands in his. “I wanted to tell you, but I needed—”

  “It’s okay, I reacted badly back at the bar,” I said, hanging my throbbing head. “I was so worried when they took me, worried you’d think—”

  “Shh, relax.” Anthony twisted so that he sat next to me on the staircase. He guided my head so
it rested gently on his chest, careful not to touch the back of my skull. “It’s nothing you did. If anything, I was worried I’d messed up the best thing I’ve ever had in my life.”

  “You’re not talking about her, are you?” I peeked out from one eyelid.

  Anthony opened his mouth, fear and terror widening his eyes. “Of course not, Lacey, I meant you!”

  I gave him the smallest of smiles. “I was just kidding. I really care about you, Anthony…I don’t want anyone, or anything, to come between us.”

  “I won’t let that happen.” Anthony squeezed me tight, and I could sense the promise in his arms as he swaddled my body with warmth and protection. “You’re mine.”

  “Just one thing before we continue this romantic moment. Did you see The Fish? Is he…?” I glanced around wildly, having forgotten about him in the heat of the moment.

  “We’re aware he was here.” Anthony’s voice turned grim. “But he escaped.”

  I sighed. “I suppose that’s fitting, seeing as how he was a Fish out of water.” Anthony just stared at me with an unamused expression.

  “I thought it was a good joke,” I said with a lame smile.

  Anthony shook his head. “Do you see what I mean? How can you ever think someone could take your place?” A small smile quirked up Anthony’s lips. “I don’t know anyone else in the world who can get herself kidnapped, and then find humor in it. And then make a terrible joke while her head is still bleeding.”

  By the time Anthony finished speaking, we were both smiling.

  “It wasn’t terrible,” I said, leaning my head back on his shoulder. “Plus, I think I might have a concussion, so we can agree that it was a mediocre joke, considering the circumstances.”

  “It was brilliant,” Anthony said, tilting my head upward and planting a kiss on my lips. His lips were soft, sweet. A rush of dizziness nearly caused me to pass out again. It could have been the kiss, or it could have been the quick motion of my head. I steadied myself.

  “Speaking of,” I said, my words groggy. “Luke needs medical attention.”