Bearly Accidental (Accidentally Paranormal Book 12)

by Dakota Cassidy

  There were monitors with all sorts of mugshots of some pretty rough-looking men, and maps with all manner of scrolling feeds of some kind.

  But it didn’t look terribly official. Not from the way it seemed he’d jerry-rigged a bunch of tech she didn’t understand and several modems.

  Wouldn’t it just figure this guy was of the tinfoil hat variety? Maybe some kind of doomsday prepper? It made sense, living all the way out here in the woods as far as he could get from civilization. He was probably one of those conspiracy theory nuts with a YouTube channel and more guns than the Armed Forces combined.

  Wanda, who’d knocked Cormac down as if he were made of nothing more than tissue paper, ground out another order. “Sit. All of you. Anywhere. Introductions are in order.” She dragged her gloves from long, slender fingers and laid them over the crook in her arm before she folded them over her chest.

  When everyone hesitated, she sneered and bellowed, “Do it!”

  Teddy dropped where she was, crossing her legs and pulling her hiking boots up under her, right along with everyone else—except for Cormac, who had the audacity to resist.

  Somebody was gonna lose their balls…

  Because Wanda wasn’t havin’ it. She sauntered toward him, her eyes ablaze, her cheeks sucked inward. “You want another piece of this?” she taunted in a comical Brooklyn accent, pounding her chest with her palms.

  As though he realized he’d be foolish to defy her for even one more moment, Cormac actually blanched and dropped down next to Teddy, but it wasn’t without an expression of palpable silent protest. He oozed defiance from every pore of his sexy-sexy brickhouse body.

  “Thank you. So, how about we go around the room and introduce ourselves? I’m Wanda Schwartz-Jefferson from Staten Island, New York. Married, wrangler of the WrestleMania Twins, occasional dabbler in the authorial pool.”

  Everyone remained silent until she nudged Marty with her toe.

  “Oh! I’m Marty Flaherty from Buffalo, New York. Cosmetics company owner, mother, businesswoman, fashionista. Pleasure to meet you all.”

  Wanda glared at Teddy, making her face flush hot and red. “Oh, sorry. Um, Theodora…uh…Jackson—Denver, Colorado. Wildlife rescuer, single, helluva Sudoku solver.” She cleared her throat, looking down at the floor and its colorful braided rugs. It wasn’t exactly a lie.

  She was a crappy liar so she’d kept it brief, but no way was she telling them what she was really doing here. Nuh-uh.

  Wanda’s gaze turned to the brunette, who was busily fishing through her backpack. She pulled out a Ziploc bag with a squashed sandwich in it and held it up like it was the biggest catch of the day. “Thank fuck. Found it!”

  Marty rolled her eyes and unzipped her sky-blue down vest, shrugging it off to reveal a sapphire-blue turtleneck and colorful paisley scarf. “Phew. I was so worried you’d starve to death, you human garbage can.”

  Wanda hissed in Marty’s direction before tapping Nina the Discontent on the shoulder. “Before you shove that in your mouth, use your words and introduce yourself.”

  The brunette sighed, expelling a raspy breath. “What is this, fucking Romper Room? Nobody gives a shit who we are as people. I don’t give a shit who they are either. We don’t need a round-robin of bullshit surface stuff to do what we gotta do.”

  Wanda swiped the sandwich bag from her friend’s hand, held it up for a brief moment, a maniacal gleam in her eye, then dropped it to the ground and stomped on it, flattening it until the plastic broke and what looked like tuna oozed out from the crust.

  Everyone gasped. Even Cormac.

  “I said, introduce yourself.”

  Nina made a face up at Wanda but then she peeled off her thick black gloves and said, “Nina Statleon. Hungry. Cold. Hate everyone.”

  Marty clapped her hands, a set of bangle bracelets clinking together. “Yay! Look at you, using your words and emotions.”

  Nina scraped the crushed sandwich bag off the floor after she flipped Marty the bird.

  When it was Cormac’s turn, Teddy turned to look at him, the lines of his face chiseled in granite, a tic in his unmoving jaw. Talk about a long simmer—he was like a Crock-Pot of slow burn.

  Nina, who sat on the other side of him, elbowed him in the ribs. “C’mon, dude. I don’t want to see you lose your sacs in front of everybody. Plus, I wanna get the fuck out of here pronto. I like the woods as much as any bitch, but this shit for four days solid is for the birds. All this Grizzly Adams trees and fucking caribou just ain’t my rap, yanno? So stop prolonging my agony and play the game so I can get on up outta here. If you do, I’ll share my Combos with you. I got a shitload of ’em,” she coaxed with an enticing shake of her backpack and a grin that decidedly mocked.

  When Cormac finally spoke, he sent a chill up along Teddy’s spine. Calm, his voice was like silk washed in honey. Rich and deep with a hint of a rasp.

  “You already know who I am. The question is, why are you here and how do you know who I am?”

  Wanda let out a sigh, crossing her feet at her furry-booted ankles. “We’re here to help you, Cormac. Toni sent us.”

  Instantly, Teddy was on alert, coiled and ready to spring. Who was Toni?

  Cormac cracked his knuckles, making a sucking noise with his teeth as though he was preparing for confrontation and his restraint was close to coming undone. “How do you know Toni?”

  It was then that Wanda must have realized Teddy had no relation to this scenario—whatever this scenario was—and from the masked expression taking over her face, Teddy guessed Toni was private.

  Which was the moment Wanda set her sights on Teddy, and she realized she needed an alibi. Fast.

  Wanda’s perfectly plucked eyebrow rose. “Why exactly are you here, Theodora?”

  Yeah, Theodora, what brings you to the outermost reaches of the Colorado forests, with a dart gun, no less? Hmmmm?

  Better stall.

  “Teddy, please. You can call me Teddy,” she said, hoping her voice wouldn’t crack while she hatched a story in her busy brain.

  Wanda swung her long arms in front of her and latched her fingers together in a basket. “Okay, Teddy,” she drawled, her tone making Theodora squirm. “What brings you to Cormac’s—with a dart gun?”

  “It’s kind of hard to explain…”

  “Aw, fuck,” Nina spat with disgust. “Here we go. Listen, Kitten Pants, spit it the shit out. Just do it and get it over with because if you don’t, I’ll miss dinner with my kid for the fourth night in a row since we got to this strange land of fucking icicles and free-range moose.”

  Wanda reached down and tugged on a long length of Nina’s incredibly shiny, unbelievably thick almost-black hair. “Shut up.” Then she turned that I-have-ways-of-making-you-talk gaze back to Teddy. “How about you try? And I suggest you try really hard or this could turn into an incredibly long night of epic, unpleasant proportions for you.”

  Nina cackled that cackle that said she took pleasure in another’s pain. “Oh, hold the hell up now. If we’re talkin’ Wanda and torture, don’t say a word, lady. I’d be willing to give up one more night of missed grub if she’s gonna put the screws to you.”

  Marty reached around Nina and gripped the cap of her shoulder, making Nina wince and shrink back until there was the glisten of a tear in her eye.

  “Get off, ass-sniffer! That stings!” Nina growled.

  But Teddy held her hands up as white flags. “Okay. I’ll try to explain. I’m here because…”

  Because O-M-G, what, Teddy? What-what-whaaaat?

  Wanda sucked in her cheeks, turning her peachy-glossed lips into that of a fish. Meaning she was gonna lose her shit if Teddy didn’t answer.

  She swallowed hard before she blurted out, “Because Cormac is my life mate!”

  Chapter 3

  You’ve done it now. You might as well have told him you planned your wedding on Pinterest and picked out names for your forthcoming children, Teds. Jesus, girl.

  Teddy winced as
silence pervaded the room. Silence and shock. Mouths fell open, eyes widened, and there was a snort from the appointed queen of snark.

  That had come out all wrong. Way faster than she’d planned. She’d wanted to do a bit of warm-up to the subject. Maybe explain where she came from, and a bit about her background, her family, before making such an outlandish statement; hopefully get Wanda of The Schoolmarm Gaze of Death off her back.

  But no, much like everything else in her life, relationships, bungee jumping, hotdog-eating contests, she’d hurtled headlong into the fire.

  “Have you spent too much time watching Lifetime movies and tending your brood of cats?” Cormac asked in disbelief, leaning away from Teddy as though she’d just told him she was from the planet Pluto.

  Which might be easier to process at this point.

  Teddy shook her head and inhaled, feeling a headache forming right between her eyes. “No. Please, let me explain.”

  Nina dragged a bag of cheese popcorn from her backpack and ripped it open, stuffing a handful in her mouth. “Yeah. Explain, Theodora.”

  She smiled at Teddy. Beautiful, damn near perfect in fact, and maniacal, as though she enjoyed the most awkward of situations.

  “So is it your habit to shoot all your life mates with dart guns and carry them out of the forest like sacks of potatoes? Some kind of ritualistic hunt for anything with a penis I missed the memo on?” Wanda asked, suspicion written all over her classically gorgeous features.

  Teddy frowned and winced. “No. That was…it was an accident. I was just…just practicing while I…”

  “So you could get it right when the time came to knock out your unwitting, very unwilling life mate?” Cormac asked, disbelief still heavy in his tone.

  She paused at the way in which he used the words life mate. He didn’t sound surprised by the term, only that she’d claimed he was hers.

  “No! Look, I’m sorry. I was target practicing, I still had some darts in my backpack. I just didn’t realize they were tranquilizer darts.”

  Liar, liar, pants on so much fire!

  Nina popped her lips while pushing her way out of the heavy parka she wore, kernels of cheese popcorn falling to her crossed legs. “Ya know, I gotta give it to her. That’s a pretty good line of bullshit. Very creative. Two thumbs up.”

  Teddy licked her dry lips, digging herself in deeper. “I work at a wildlife preservation called Sanctuary, in Denver. You can look it up on your vast array of computers if you’d like. Sometimes we have to tranquilize an injured animal and it’s important to get it right the first time you take a shot. I was just killing time while I looked for Cormac…I’m sorry.”

  Ugh.

  Marty’s brow furrowed. “But you said you were here because Cormac is your um, life something or other, right? What does that mean?”

  Ah. Now Teddy had the upper hand. Marty was a crappy liar. She damn well knew what a life mate was because she came from a circle of people who thrived on them. However, they didn’t know she knew.

  And Teddy knew they were all paranormal, from all the fighting they did as she’d tracked them. She just didn’t know exactly what kind of paranormal. The word vampire had been used, but she didn’t know how to identify scents of paranormal species other than that of her own kind.

  One thing she definitely knew? The reason Cormac had covered his scent—because he was a bear.

  Just like her.

  Rather than stay on the floor where she felt small and overpowered, a feeling she didn’t relish, Teddy rose with caution, keeping her palms facing outward.

  “Okay, so let’s just be honest here. It means that I know you’re all paranormal—and Nina was once paranormal.”

  “Ohhh!” Nina squealed her delight, pounding her fist on her backpack. “Boom, baby! Shit just got real!”

  Wow, this woman really did take extreme pleasure in the awkward.

  Wanda’s eyes flashed angry and bright as she approached. “And you know this how, Teddy?”

  Teddy folded her hands in front of her and edged backward. Wanda’s wrath was real, and she didn’t want to invoke any more than was necessary.

  “I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but you guys were really loud out there in the forest. So, I sort of heard bits of your conversations about vampires and all. But I’m still not sure what you are.”

  Marty rasped a sigh and shook her head in obvious understanding. She swiped her index finger in the air. “That’s what that smell is. It’s you!” She pointed at Teddy. “I don’t mean to offend. I mean, I honestly thought you’d just neglected to shower or use deodorant or whatever. I kept getting whiffs of damp fur and mud mixed in with Nina’s bite-sized Snickers.”

  Teddy fought the impulse to sniff her armpits. She’d showered today…

  Nina rose now, too, towering over Teddy. At five-seven, she’d never felt so small. The woman’s nostrils flared, but she shook her head. “That means Katniss Tranquilizer Gun here is paranormal, too. So what are you and why can’t anyone define you by your fucking scent? Shit, I hope it’s something new. I’m damn tired of vampires and werewolves.”

  Teddy stretched her neck upward, shoving her hands inside the pockets of her down vest. No backing down, no matter how big and scary. And if Nina was anything, she was intimidating. Yet there was a hint of vulnerability to her Teddy didn’t understand.

  “What are you?”

  Nina rolled her tongue in her cheek, squinting one almond-shaped eye as she cocked her head. “Former vampire.”

  That explained the discontent she’d sensed earlier. “Former?”

  “Long fucking story, part of the reason we’re here. Now ante up or I’ll have you breathing through your belly button in ten seconds flat.”

  “So you’re officially human now? No super vampire powers to speak of?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Then I’d like to see you try.”

  Nina’s gaze was straight on and deadlocked on Teddy’s face. Her posture changed, her body language riddled with tension so real, she was like a bow ready to snap an arrow off. “Correct me if I’m fucking wrong, but am I hearing a challenge from your ruby-red lips?”

  “You’re hearing my defense in regards to your threat. I like breathing from my mouth, thank you.”

  Marty grabbed at Nina’s arm, dragging her out of her imposing stance. “This is exactly what I mean. You no longer have the muscle to back up the claims, bully! If you keep this up, you’re going to get us all killed one day. Do you want this to end the way it did with that poor man Eddie in the parking lot of the Dollar Store?”

  Nina rolled her eyes in response, shaking Marty off. “Oh, fuck off. He deserved to have his shit handed to him. He was parked in a damn wheelchair parking spot. I just told him so.”

  “No. That’s not the entire story. He was picking up his elderly mother, Mad Dog. He almost took your head off with a tire iron when you went at him like some sort of raging bull, Nina! And now that you’re human, a guy the size of a fully stocked fridge can do you some serious harm. You made me make him doubt his manhood after I got done sticking up for you. In front of his mother!” she howled in outrage. “Now for the last time, back the hell off, and stop trying to fill a role you no longer fit the requirements for!”

  This particular admission left Teddy with instant remorse. How odd would it be to lose the part of her that had its own way of life? To lose the people closest to her because she didn’t have the same needs, the same abilities, the same struggles they did? It had to be like an average student ending up in the class for Mensa members.

  Nina was struggling. With this huge change in her life, with her friends’ resistance to the changes, with the inability to live on the same plane they did.

  She knew diddly squat about vampires—even less about how a vampire could possibly be a vamp one minute and human the next. But she regretted her rude words.

  Instantly she turned to Nina, placing a hand on Marty’s shoulder to indicate she should back off her fri
end. “It’s okay, Marty. Really. I’m sorry, Nina. That was rude of me. I apologize.”

  Nina flapped an irritated hand at her, slung her backpack over her shoulder and stomped to the farthest corner of the cabin where a small kitchen and a sink with actual running water was located. She dragged a misshapen wooden stool from the corner and plopped down into it, essentially turning her back on everyone.

  Crap.

  “So what are you?” Cormac finally spoke, his voice slithering over her like a sensual bath of silky warm water.

  Her eyes met his, head on without blinking. “I’m a bear. Just like you. Brown bear, if you’re interested.”

  Nina had that twinkle in her eye when she made scary bear paws. “You mean like roar, and shredding-unsuspecting-fucking-campers-while-they-roast-marshmallows, stealing-honey-from-hives, raw-fish-eating, Goldilocks-and-The-Three-Bears bear?”

  Under any other circumstance, she would have laughed. “Mostly that’s what I mean. Except for the raw fish. Just can’t do it.”

  “You’ve shredded unsuspecting campers?” Cormac asked.

  Teddy looked right at him. “Duh. Don’t all bears? Is there anything better than hearing, ‘Oh my God, please don’t eat me, you mean, vicious bear!’ as you rip their throats out and collect your booty of baked beans and kerosene lanterns?”

  “Aren’t you a real standup comedienne? You do The Improv when you’re done eating people?” Cormac returned.

  “Okay, so wait. Lemme get this shit right. Your name is Teddy?” The former vampire squeaked her name out on a high note.

  Did high school ever really end? “I know. Irony, right? Theodora/Teddy equals ha-ha-ha.”

  Nina’s head fell back, revealing her slender throat. “Buwhahahhaha! Oh, Christ on a cracker, that’s the best shit I’ve heard in forever!”

  “Wait, you’re a bear, too?” Wanda gasped out at Cormac. “Are you sure you’re the Cormac Vitali who has a sister from Jersey about yeah-high, gorgeous red hair, feisty as a coon who’s been cornered in a crawl space, with the heart of a warrior?”