We Are Always Forever

by Campbell, Jamie

  I snapped to attention, picking up the roll of surgical tape and pulling off four strips so he could secure the pad. He moved her T-shirt back into place before standing.

  “You’ll need to keep her temperature down and make sure she eats,” Jet said as he packed up the small kit. “She’ll need all her strength to fight the infection.”

  “Do you think she has a chance?” Brett asked, so quietly I think the question startled even him.

  “I’m sure you’ll help her through it.” He danced around the answer but nobody pulled him up on it. Nobody in that room wanted to hear the truth.

  “Brett?” The small voice came from the door, snapping all our attention to the child. It was Ruth.

  “Stay with your brothers,” Brett replied, as kindly as he could muster, given the circumstances.

  The poor kid sniffled with unshed tears. I hurried over to her. “Why don’t you introduce me to your brothers?”

  She accepted my suggestion and led me back to the living room. I discovered a lot about the family while I waited for Jet. Her brothers – who weren’t really her biological brothers – were aged seven and three. Ruth was actually thirteen and had found the boys alone in another house after the Event. The small home they lived in now used to be hers. Her mother had been hanging out the washing in the backyard when the Event happened.

  It felt right that these five kids clung to each other. They were managing to survive in the harshest of worlds and still finding it in their hearts to love. To create a family where none existed.

  It made me want to hope again.

  If these kids could do it, then maybe others could too.

  Maybe I could.

  It was almost dark outside when Jet emerged from the bedroom with Brett. He still clung to the first aid kit like it was a life jacket.

  “Is she okay?” I asked, well aware of the six little ears around me wanting an answer, too.

  “She’s asleep. We’ll pray for her tonight,” Brett said. Despite his size, he was gentle. Gentle with his girlfriend, gentle with the kids, gentle with us. It was a rare quality these days.

  Jet looked at me as he spoke. “It’s too late for us to leave. Brett said we can stay here for the night.”

  I shot to my feet quickly. “But we need to get back. We’ll just have to drive in the dark. The car has lights, doesn’t it?”

  “It’s too dangerous. We’ll wait until morning.”

  “No! We have to get back.” I couldn’t lose another day. I needed to be in the library, finding a way to kill Kostucha. I’d only agreed to one day, I couldn’t let it stretch out into two.

  The familiar exasperated look crossed his face. “It’s going to be pitch black out there soon. I’m not risking both of our lives when it can wait until morning.”

  “I’ll drive then.”

  “Everly, no. We’re staying.”

  “How about we eat,” Brett interjected. “I’m sure we could all do with some food. Ruth, will you please start a fire and warm this place up.”

  The girl nodded and went to the small fireplace as Brett gave us one last look before disappearing into the kitchen. I glared at Jet but he remained impassive.

  Time was running out. The longer I let Kostucha live, the more spirits he consumed into oblivion. Each ghost he ate made him stronger and I was facilitating the horror by wasting time.

  Jet took a step closer so the little boys couldn’t hear. “I’m sorry. But it really is too late to go. I don’t want to crash into anything. You know how dangerous the roads can be.”

  “You said we’d only be gone for a day.” I kept my voice low too, not needing anyone to overhear our disagreement.

  “We’ll be home by lunchtime.”

  “It’s still too late.”

  His eyes went to the ceiling as if he would be able to see the answers he needed written there. “I’m sorry, Everly. But it’s not like I planned this.”

  He had a point but he was still the reason why I was so far away from the city and all the books in the library. I had told him I didn’t want to come and he talked me into it anyway.

  It was his fault.

  Plain and simple.

  Chapter Four

  Our makeshift bed for the night was the living room floor. At least it had carpet, which actually made it more comfortable than my apartment.

  The last of the fire crackled merely a few feet away, offering warmth as well as light. We had one blanket to share and Jet’s jacket for a pillow. I was trying to get to sleep, as far away from him as the blanket would allow.

  I didn’t want his arm around me tonight. I didn’t want Jet anywhere near me. Spirits were suffering every single day and I was gallivanting around the countryside. I was lying in front of a nice warm fire while they were in constant pain.

  Jet moved closer again, the heat from his body dangerously close to mine. “You’re hogging the blanket,” he mumbled.

  I would have thrown him the entire thing if it wasn’t so cold. I didn’t fancy the thought of shivering all night just out of stubbornness.

  Instead, I remained completely still and pretended to be asleep as he inched closer again. His arm slid over my waist, pulling me back against his chest.

  It was so warm there, so safe, so… nice.

  So wrong.

  “Don’t,” I said, forgetting I was supposed to be asleep.

  “Is this about staying? I’ve already said I’m sorry a thousand times, Ever.”

  There were no words that came to mind that I wanted to share with him. How did I even start to explain why I didn’t want him touching me? That I liked it too much when I shouldn’t? That every shiver and tingle was accompanied by a sharp stab of guilt?

  “Just don’t,” I repeated.

  His arm recoiled back to his side. I missed the weight of it holding me instantly. But I deserved to suffer. I loved Oliver, I would not forget that.

  I awoke in the morning, cold.

  Jet was facing away from me, curled into a tight ball. Separate from me.

  Wasn’t that what I wanted?

  Brett was already up when I joined him in the kitchen. “How’s Daisy?”

  “Cooler. Thanks to your boyfriend,” he replied. The creases on his face said he didn’t get much sleep overnight.

  “He’s not my boyfriend. I’m glad to hear Daisy’s doing better. Have you considered returning to the city? We might be able to get her some more help.”

  His head was shaking even before I stopped speaking. “No, we’re happy here. Daisy said she’d never go back to the city and I agree with her. We’ll be fine.”

  “You could always come back here once she’s better.”

  “She’d never agree to it.”

  There was a story there, a reason for their hatred of the city. I didn’t want to ask, I could only imagine it was because of the horrors that had occurred after the Event. It was enough to traumatize anyone.

  “We’ll leave the first aid kit with you,” I offered. “You’ll need to keep her wound clean.”

  “Thank you, for everything.”

  Brett insisted on feeding us before we left. They had a small garden and chicken coop out the back of the house that provided them with enough food to sustain them. I hadn’t had eggs in over a year and it was almost worth staying the night just for breakfast.

  Jet and I returned to the car in silence. We had barely said a word to each other since waking up. He started the car and we headed toward home.

  There was no small talk.

  No in-depth discussions.

  Just silence the entire way.

  We arrived back in the city right on noon, just like Jet promised. He slowed to a halt at my apartment building, not daring to take the car into the heart of the city.

  I was out of the vehicle the moment it came to a stop. Jet moved too, stepping out before I could go anywhere.

  “Where are you going in such a hurry?” he asked across the roof of the car.

  “The library.�
�

  “Let me come with you. I’ll stash the Audi and help you research all afternoon. We can make up for the missed morning.”

  Being stuck in a tiny room with Jet all afternoon was not something I wanted to do. “I don’t want your help.”

  “I don’t mind, we can-”

  I held up my hand to stop him talking. “I don’t want your help. Please just go.”

  He opened his mouth to speak, thought better of it, and closed it again. I started walking and didn’t look back. When I was half a block away, I heard the low rumble of the car’s engine whirring to life as he left.

  By the time I reached the library, my anger had dissolved down to a low rage. I ignored the ghost in the library and headed straight for the secret room hidden underneath the main floor. The flashlight hanging from the top of the stairs was the only source of light to take me down.

  I stomped along all the stairs and let myself into the room, vaguely aware of the librarian following me. Her spirit was especially cold, sending a shiver down the spine of anyone who dared enter her beloved library.

  It was the librarian who had shown me the room in the first place, she approved of me being here. She just didn’t like the interruption to her day.

  I started on the bookcase where I had last left my research. It was my mission to make it through every single one of the hundreds of books until I found a way to kill the demon.

  Most books said the only way to get rid of a demon was to vanquish it back to Hell. I’d already tried that and it didn’t work. Kostucha was probably having a vacation down there, hanging out with the devil, playing cards and gambling with souls.

  “You’re spending a lot of time here,” the librarian said.

  “I can’t find what I’m looking for,” I replied, not taking my eyes away from my latest book.

  “I figured that, seeing as though my soul can’t rest in peace and all.”

  Just what I needed.

  A ghost with attitude.

  “I’m doing everything I can,” I sighed.

  “Tell me what you’re looking for.” She waited. When I didn’t answer, she continued. “Maybe I can help.”

  “I need to kill Kostucha, the demon keeping you all here. But everything in the books says there is no way to kill a demon, only vanquish them.”

  She pursed her see-through lips as she considered the problem. Her light gray eyes still as eerie as the first time I’d seen them. Her body hovered by the table, she tended to float much more than the other spirits did.

  “You should look at the oldest of the books,” she started. “Way back, earlier than you can imagine, demons roamed the earth much more frequently. They were a part of everyday life, just like the angels were. There had to be some way to kill them back then. I think that might help your search.”

  That actually was helpful.

  “Thank you.”

  “Just don’t hurt the books. The oldest ones will be the most fragile too. I’d start over there.” She pointed to the far corner, an area I hadn’t made it to yet.

  She disappeared in the blink of an eye and the room instantly grew warmer without her presence. I crouched down to the shelves she had indicated and surveyed the books.

  They were old, very old.

  It felt like I should be wearing gloves just to look at them. I pulled one out, hoping I wasn’t damaging it. If the librarian killed me, I wouldn’t be able to save the spirits.

  All my hopes were dashed when I opened the pages. The book was written in another language. Unfortunately, I only understood English.

  I replaced the book and tried another few. They were all the same. The letters on the page looked familiar but they didn’t form any words I knew.

  Of course, the ancients wouldn’t speak English.

  I should have known.

  All the old books were the same. I had no idea what language they were in and there was no way to figure it out either. Unless… the librarian knew? It was worth a shot. She seemed to know much more than the average librarian should.

  The stairs shook my legs back to life as I took them one by one. I half expected the librarian to materialize in front of me at any moment but I eventually had to find her myself. She was hovering in the fiction section – romance, of all genres.

  “I need your help,” I started, my voice immediately demanding her attention.

  She slid over to me, her feet unmoving. At least Oliver used to pretend to walk so it didn’t seem so freaky. “Haven’t I given you enough help already?”

  “Apparently not.” I opened the book and turned it around so she could get a good look at the text. “Do you know what language this is?”

  She studied it, her hand gripping her chin as she did. “I think it’s Romanian. Yes, that’s what it is.”

  “I thought it might be Latin.”

  The librarian laughed, it was a rare event. “It probably was, once. But Romanian is almost as old and more widely used in ancient times than people realize.”

  “I don’t suppose you happen to speak it, do you?” It was worth a shot. A question never asked was a question never answered.

  Another laugh.

  Not a good sign.

  “No, I don’t. But there are books on learning the language which might help.” She took off and I hurried to keep up with her. She knew the stacks like the back of her hand. Weaving through the shelves like traffic on a four-lane highway, she abruptly stopped at a stand in the back.

  A big sign read ‘Language’ overhead.

  The librarian started running her finger along the shelf, careful not to actually touch it. “Ah, this one will work.” She pointed to one in the middle, a thick one.

  I pulled it out. ‘Romanian for Idiots’. Cute.

  “Thanks.”

  “Good luck.”

  I took both books and found a table by the window. It was dirty but there was nothing I could do about that. The sun was streaming in, casting warm rays of liquid fire across the area and highlighting the dancing dust particles.

  Starting with a flick through the language guide, I tried to get a grasp for the foreign words. If I could somehow get a basic understanding, perhaps I would be able to recognize words in the book.

  I was wrong.

  Three hours later, I had translated exactly nineteen words.

  Slamming the books closed, the individual letters were all swimming in front of my eyes. None of them formed sentences. It may as well have been Latin.

  The librarian was hovering by the front door, ready to spring on any poor, unsuspecting kids that wandered in from the streets. She eyed me as I approached. “Well? Finished?”

  “Nowhere near it,” I admitted. “It’s going to take a lot longer than I have today. Can I take the book home so I can work on it overnight?”

  “Absolutely not.”

  “Please? I’ll look after it, you won’t even notice any change to it when I bring it back.”

  Her head shook from side to side as her arms crossed over her chest. Every inch of her reflected her stubbornness. “You can read it here. All books must stay in the library.”

  Probably because I didn’t have a library card.

  Right?

  “It’s going to take too long that way. If you want to pass over into the hereafter, I’m going to need to take it with me.” Surely her eternal peace should be worth the risk that I might accidently damage the damn book?

  “All books stay here.” She punctuated every word like they were full sentences by themselves.

  I was too tired to argue with her. The chances that I would be able to change her mind were practically zero. One thing I had learned about spirits was that they didn’t practice politeness.

  “Fine,” I sighed. “But I’ll be back tomorrow so I’m going to leave it out. I’m not going back down to that room again today.”

  She rolled her eyes and watched me place it gently on the table. I left without receiving a goodbye.

  The librarian had a seriou
s attitude problem.

  Stepping out, the cold wind went right through me. I pulled my jacket around me tighter, wishing for warmer weather. It was on its way, just too slow for my liking.

  “Hey.” The voice startled me. My head snapped around to see Jet leaning casually against the library wall.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked. Because, really, didn’t I make it clear enough earlier that I didn’t want his help anymore? I’d released him from any sense of responsibility he might have toward me.

  “Waiting for you,” he said, like it should have been obvious.

  “I don’t need a babysitter.” I started walking, hoping he would give up. I didn’t need distractions and Jet was the epitome of a walking distraction.

  He fell into step with me. “I know, but I was hoping to ask you something.”

  “What?”

  Jet gently touched my elbow, stopping me. I didn’t tug my arm out of his grip, which I should have done.

  I should have kept walking.

  I shouldn’t have listened to him.

  “We’re having a dinner thing in the underground tonight,” he started. I could feel the warmth of his fingers even through my jacket. “I was hoping you might want to come?”

  “What’s a dinner thing?” I wasn’t agreeing to anything without knowing all the details. I’d learned that the hard way before. Never again.

  “We’re all having a special dinner together.”

  “Why?”

  “Just because. Will you come? I can walk you home afterwards, you’ll be safe.”

  I’d be safer if I went back to my apartment now and locked the door. Any time spent with Jet was dangerous. But that probably wasn’t what he meant.

  “I’d really like it if you were there, Ever.”

  I don’t know when he decided to start calling me Ever instead of my full name. But it was better than princess so I wasn’t going to call him out on it.

  Secretly, I kind of liked that he had a nickname for me.

  Danger alarms rung through my head.

  Still, I found myself nodding and traitorous words were escaping from my lips. “Okay.”

  His smile was worth it.

  We turned around and headed in the opposite direction of my apartment. Right through the city until we reached the entrance to the tunnels.