The darkness was instantaneous when we stepped into the long corridors. They sloped downwards until we were completely swallowed up by the earth.
I hadn’t seen all the areas in the tunnels. The mole people didn’t like me. I was an intruder and they would have killed me several times by now if I wasn’t protected by Jet. Until I fell out of favor with him, they were ordered to not lay a hand on me.
We wound through the tunnels until we reached the main cavern. It was the same area where the handful of remaining adults lived. They were all a little nuts, full of incessant mutterings that meant nothing. The underground was the only thing still keeping them alive. If they went up, they died. I’d watched it happen to one of them and didn’t want to see it happen again.
Ever.
The hostility vibrating off the mole people as they realized I was with Jet was tangible. If looks could kill I would have died a thousand deaths just in that single moment.
They could all go to hell.
Someone had built a grill structure over the top of the bonfire, cooking unidentifiable meat like a barbeque. It had been a long time since I’d eaten any meat. It wasn’t something that existed since the Event without it being caught and prepared personally.
And I certainly wasn’t going to kill anything to get it.
Also cooking on the grill was a range of vegetables. Sitting on a makeshift table was a spread of sides – salad and bread. Someone had gone to a lot of trouble for the dinner.
Groups were standing around, talking, laughing, and mingling. There were more mole people in attendance than I had ever seen before. It looked like it could have been a regular get together from before the Event.
Jet was instantly lured into a conversation. He pulled me with him, including me in the discussion at every opportunity he got. I was introduced to so many people I had names swimming in my head thick and fast.
The food was served buffet style. There was a stack of plates and we lined up to fill them from the tables. Some sat down to eat, most stood and juggled. Silverware was distributed which added to the challenge.
I didn’t ask what type of meat it was. I wrapped a slice of bread around it and hoped for the best.
The food was… delicious.
Whatever it was, wherever it all came from, they sure knew how to do it. For the first time in a very, very long time, I actually ate until I wasn’t hungry anymore.
It was a feast.
Fit for a king.
The feeling of having a full stomach was foreign and odd. To not have that constant hunger ache deep in my belly was unusual. I’d had it so long it became a part of me. Now, being full was a weird feeling.
When Jet was pulled away, I found myself alone. Thankfully, a girl standing nearby shuffled over to me. She was about my age, her long brown hair falling down to her waist.
“Hi! You’re Everly, right?” she asked, her voice high and perky.
“Yeah. And you are?”
“Laney. You’re here a lot lately, aren’t you?” She cocked her head to one side as she asked the question. Her green eyes were so large she reminded me of a big puppy dog.
I couldn’t dislike her.
“Now and then,” I replied. I didn’t realize anyone was keeping tabs on my visits. “Jet and I were working on something. But it’s done now. I probably won’t be around much anymore.”
Laney snorted. Apparently I said something funny. “Oh, you’ll be around. Jet wouldn’t let you get away.”
“I don’t think Jet will mind that much.”
“Are you kidding? We’ve all been taking bets on how much longer it will be before he locks you up so you won’t leave at all.”
“Why would he do that?” The whole conversation was making my head hurt.
She rolled her eyes and shifted her weight between her feet. “He’s crazy about you. Haven’t you seen the way he looks at you? It’s the same way I look at chocolate. Like I can’t wait to devour it.” Laney giggled, reminding me that we were all still kids here.
My cheeks flushed and it had nothing to do with the heat of the bonfire just a few feet away.
“I don’t think he looks at me like that,” I said. Surely I would have noticed? Jet and I were just friends. Just because his presence made my heartbeat kick up a notch, it didn’t mean I had the same effect on him.
No, I was certain of it.
“You must be blind then,” Laney replied adamantly. “If I were you, I would snap him up before anyone else does. He’s a good catch. Actually, he’s an excellent catch. He’s so nice, and kind, and gorgeous.”
I wanted to escape from the conversation but there was nowhere to go. The only defense I had was to steer the conversation back to safer ground. “Is there anyone you’ve got your eye on?”
“Nah. Most of the kids my age are already paired up down here. Those that aren’t, well, there’s a reason for it.” Her eyes had a faraway wistfulness to them for just a moment.
“I’m sure you’ll find the right guy one day.”
“Yeah, one day.” She gave me a small smile. “Just make sure you don’t waste any more time with Jet, okay? It would be a shame to have Perry get her hands on him.”
Perry.
Ugh.
I had to agree with her there, even though she was completely wrong about Jet’s feelings.
Someone cranked up a battery powered stereo and music started thumping in the cavern. It was just loud enough so you couldn’t have a comfortable conversation without needing to yell.
“We should dance!” Laney exclaimed happily.
Before I could stop her, she took both my hands hostage and pulled me over to where others were already dancing. We mingled with the bodies as they tried to keep up with the rhythm.
This kind of dancing wasn’t exactly my thing. I didn’t like letting go of my limbs and letting them do whatever they wanted and call it dancing.
But Laney made it pretty difficult to not go along with her. I let myself pretend I was a normal teenager for a few moments. I let the music infiltrate my blood and pump rhythm around my body. I imagined we were at a school dance, that our biggest problems were having too many boys chasing after us.
That nobody was dead.
And we were alive.
Not just existing, not just surviving, but really alive and able to look forward to a future that we could decide. We could go to college, get married, have spectacular careers that would allow us to travel, eat glorious meals, and have whatever we needed. Whatever we wanted.
For those few moments, it was a beautiful world. The giggle rose up in my throat and escaped before I could stop it. Laney took it as consent to keep dancing and she tugged me around the floor.
My eyes locked with Jet’s at one stage. He had an unreadable expression on his face, something between astonishment and indecision. Whatever he was thinking, I thought for sure it had nothing to do with me.
He obviously didn’t dance because he made no attempts to join us. I considered pulling him in, like Laney had done to me, but I didn’t know how he would react. Fear of rejection was a serious de-motivator.
“You’re really good at this,” Laney laughed close to my ear so I could hear over the noise.
“You’re pretty great yourself,” I replied.
She shrugged and twirled me around in a circle. I did the same to her when the dizziness subsided. We were having fun, more fun than I’d had in a very long time.
Even the adults were enjoying themselves.
And that was saying something.
The song ended and the music was switched off. The silence didn’t seem right after so much frivolity. Everyone turned their attention to the pathway up to the main tunnels.
“What’s going on?” I whisper-asked Laney.
“You’ll see.” She grinned.
We were suddenly interrupted by the sound of singing. It had been so long since I’d actually heard anyone sing that it sounded foreign to my ears.
And it wasn’t
just any song.
They were singing ‘Happy Birthday’.
Chapter Five
Perry emerged down the ramp carrying a cake with birthday candles. An actual cake. With real birthday candles. She led the round of singing right down to the bottom where she carefully placed the cake on the cleared table.
I joined in the singing. Purely because it was so long that I couldn’t help myself. We were all kids again, the problems of the world bearing down on us were lifted for the duration of the song.
It was difficult to think about hunger and death when there was a birthday cake in the room.
My eyes ran through the mass of mole people, wondering whose birthday it actually was. Whoever it was, everyone had gone to a lot of trouble for them. They were obviously well loved down here, so far underground.
Jet stepped forward.
Just in time for his name to end the song.
He’d never mentioned it was his birthday today. Not when we woke up in the shack, not on the four hour drive back to the city. Not when he was waiting for me at the library, or when he had invited me over for dinner.
Not once.
If what Laney said was true, he would have. I was right, he felt nothing for me except a tenuous friendship that was as strong as a spider’s web.
The song finished and everyone gave him three cheers before he cut the cake. Perry stepped in to help slice it into thin strips to make sure everyone got a piece. She started laying them on plates and distributing them around the room.
I held back, making sure everyone got a slice before accepting one myself. It was a plain vanilla sponge cake and it was probably the best one I had ever tasted.
Being almost two years without cake made even the worst thing taste like luxury.
After that, Perry stuck to Jet’s side like glue. Every time he caught my eye, he waved me over but I pretended I didn’t understand every time.
Perry hated me. She had even tried to kill me once, almost breaking my shoulder in the process. I had no desire to speak with her and give her a reason to loathe me more.
I looked for Laney again but she had been swallowed up into the crowd. Nobody else wanted to talk to me. I offered to help with the clean up and dishes, but even they looked at me with hatred and shook their heads.
There was no way I wanted to stick around. But I couldn’t leave either. Even I wasn’t stupid enough to attempt to walk back to my apartment alone.
I didn’t have a death wish.
I was about to leave and wait in Jet’s room when a hand rested on the small of my back. Jet leaned in, whispering in my ear. “Do you want to get some fresh air?”
Did I ever.
I nodded and we walked up the ramp. Jet’s hand stayed in contact with me right through the tunnels and up aboveground. If the heat radiating off that one touch burned so deeply even through my coat, then what would skin on skin feel like? I pushed away the thought.
The late winter sky was completely clear. A million and one stars twinkled in the inky black sky overhead. For once, the wind wasn’t making a nuisance of itself. It was like the weather was holding its breath, just for Jet’s birthday.
Jet steered us to the park one block from the tunnel entrance. The moon was bright enough to light our way, as long as we kept away from the shadows.
Which was wise anyway.
“Happy birthday, by the way,” I said, breaking the silence.
“Thanks.”
“The big eighteen. Were you worried?”
He shrugged, like turning the age that determined who died and who lived in the Event wasn’t a big thing. It must have worried him, even if he didn’t admit to it.
“Maybe a little,” he finally confessed. “But I survived, so it’s all good.”
“You didn’t tell me.” I tried not to make it sound like an accusation, that it didn’t sting me to say those words and know they were true.
I failed.
“I didn’t think they were going to make such a big deal out of it,” Jet replied. “I never expected a cake.”
“It was really good.”
He laughed. “It was, wasn’t it? When’s your birthday?”
“Why?” I eyed him suspiciously.
“Because I want to know how long I have to wait to have another piece of cake.”
I shook my head. He was joking. Nobody would make a cake for my birthday. He stared at me expectantly, still waiting on an answer. “August 5th.”
“Six months. I guess that’s not too long to wait.” The smile lit up his face, making his eyes sparkle with nothing but the moonlight to illuminate his features.
He was lying. Six months now felt like six years.
Every day was a struggle for survival.
But I wasn’t going to point that out, not when it was Jet’s birthday. He deserved to have good things, especially when it was so rare to see him relax and enjoy himself.
“My parents used to make a really big deal out of birthdays,” I started. “They said everyone should celebrate their birth because it was such a miraculous event. They’d let us take the day off school so we could do something fun.”
Jet’s eyebrows lifted to the sky. “They sound like they were really cool.”
“They were.” Silence filled the air between us but it wasn’t awkward. We were both lost in the memories that we normally tried to block out. When I spoke next, I wasn’t even sure I was speaking out loud. “I never fully appreciated them like I should have.”
“You were just a kid,” Jet said quickly.
I shrugged. Being young was no excuse. I should have told my parents I loved them every single day.
Every. Single. Day.
Just like I should have said those words to Oliver.
There was nothing more to say on the topic that wouldn’t lead to tears. It was time to change the subject. “Did you always have parties for your birthday?”
“I didn’t really have many friends, so no, I didn’t.”
The frown on his lips told me he wasn’t joking.
My heart broke just a little bit more.
“You have plenty of friends now,” I pointed out, thinking of how many people were still down in the cavern celebrating. They weren’t there because they had to be. They weren’t even there for the cake. They were there for Jet.
Jet shook off the bleakness as he flashed me a broad smile. “I only need one friend.”
My gaze focused on my feet as I made them start moving again. The park was illuminated by the moonlight, casting shadows dancing in all directions.
The darkness held no fear for me now. I had Jet with me, he was enough protection.
“Tell me about your favorite birthday,” Jet said. I could feel his eyes on me, even though I wasn’t looking at him.
I trawled my memory, flashes of my seventeen birthdays running through my head. There were so many options. My parents’ smiling faces, my little sister giggling. The time my friends started a food fight in the middle of a restaurant, when my father decided a water fight would liven up my fifth birthday, the time when Oliver had attempted to bake a cake.
There was a lot of competition for the title, but there was one memory that stood out above all others.
“It was my thirteenth,” I started, conjuring up the memory like a magician. “I didn’t want to take the day off school because I had an exam so we waited until the weekend to celebrate. My parents took me and my sister to the ballet because I said I wanted to do something grown up. You know, considering I thought I was a grown up at thirteen and all.”
“As you do,” Jet added.
“The ballet was amazing, I’d never seen anything like it before. I think I watched the whole thing with my mouth open. Afterwards, we went out for ice cream. I went to my first ballet lesson the next week.”
“You dance?”
I nodded, remembering all those hours I’d spent in the studio. All those tutus, cramped feet, tight hair buns. It seemed like it was someone else’s memory.<
br />
In my mind, structured dancing like ballet was the only real kind of dancing. None of that disco stuff.
“Ballet was my new favorite thing. I loved everything about it.”
Jet stopped suddenly. I was a few steps ahead before I noticed he was no longer by my side. “Show me.”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“Show me. I want to see you dance.”
I started walking again. “No. I don’t do that anymore.”
He ran to catch up with me, his hand finding a place to rest on my elbow. “Please? I really want to see it.”
“My shoes are hardly dancing slippers,” I pointed out, wriggling my toes inside my trainers. They didn’t even belong to me, I’d found them in an empty house.
“I don’t care. Show me.” Jet crossed his arms over his chest, obstinately refusing to move until he got what he wanted.
The last thing I felt like doing was ballet dancing. I hadn’t performed one move since the Event. There didn’t seem any reason to anymore. Dancing was elegant and beautiful, two things that didn’t exist in this world now.
But he wasn’t going to move.
If he wanted to see me make a fool out of myself, I guess that was what it would take.
“Promise me you won’t laugh,” I said.
“I promise.”
Taking a few deep breaths, I took a dozen steps backwards so I had some room. Then… I danced.
My once graceful movements were clunky and there was no way I could do points on the tip of my toes but I danced anyway. My body remembered the moves, the muscles knew when to clench and hold, my arms knew how to sway and bend.
I was transported back to a time when I couldn’t imagine there was anything more important in the world than dancing. When I could perform on a stage and know my parents were in the audience cheering louder than anyone else. A time when my sister used to beg me to let her try on my tutu.
A time that was impossible now.
And probably would be forevermore.
It took me two minutes to go through my warm up routine. I completely forgot about my audience, about the boy watching my every move like he was fascinated.
We Are Always Forever Page 5
