We Are Always Forever

by Campbell, Jamie

  A fist flew too fast for him.

  Jet didn’t duck in time.

  He copped the five knuckles on his left cheek. His knees buckled just enough to make his body sway. My heart stopped. I was watching it all in slow motion, unable to move, to help, to scream, to think.

  The boy may as well have hit me, I felt it just the same.

  “Jet! Jet!” My voice was too loud, too shrill, too terrified to be coming from my mouth.

  I didn’t realize I was moving until I hit the wall of moving bodies. I had to dodge elbows and fists and knees just to make it one inch closer.

  My hands reached for Jet, clutching at him like he was the life raft that would take us to safety. The boys kept pushing me back, lost in their bloodlust. I wasn’t a person to them, just a roadblock in their way.

  “Everly, get back,” Jet yelled. I wasn’t going to get anywhere until he was with me. He had never abandoned me and I wouldn’t do that to him now.

  Never.

  The ferocity of that silent promise surprised me.

  It only took me a second to realize how much I meant it.

  Jet took a blow to his kidneys, the boy behind him grabbing his attention away from me. He pushed the kid back, muttering something to him to warn him away.

  There were too many of them. We had no chance of walking away without further harm. There was only going to be one winner to this melee and it would be the last one standing. He alone would take victory. The rest were all going to die.

  Pain suddenly shot through my shoulder.

  Stars danced in my eyes.

  “Get out of my way, little girl,” the boy standing in front of me snarled, raising his fist and getting ready to take another strike at me. All I could do was stare at him, my eyes so wide I wondered whether they would snap my head in two.

  My arm tingled as the blood started to flow down it again. I shook it out, hoping it would recover enough so I could use it to defend myself when he took another shot.

  But I didn’t have to.

  The boy went down.

  Jet’s hand was still raised, his knuckles bloodied from the impact with the boy’s skull. His eyes were on me only a moment later, still crazed and wild. “Are you okay? Everly, are you okay?”

  My voice was lost, abandoning me in my time of need.

  I took a step back.

  And then another.

  Before I knew it, I was running.

  There was no place I had in mind. No destination that I could deem safe. I couldn’t get Jet’s face out of my head. He was so angry, so… primal. He had thrown that boy to the ground like he was the enemy. Like he deserved to be hurt.

  It reminded me of everything I used to think about Jet. How terrified I used to be by his mere presence. He might have apologized about kidnapping me, but maybe that was all an act? Maybe this was the real him and the fight had unleashed the sleeping beast.

  I needed to be far away from it all.

  I needed to make sure I couldn’t be found.

  My entire body was shaking as I came to a stop outside a building. There were no kids down the alleyway that led to a backdoor. It creaked open, too loud in the sudden quietness.

  There was nothing but darkness inside.

  It was perfect.

  I crawled into a corner, my shoulder still smarting from the blow. I leaned against the cold wall and let my head rest. The tears were not allowed to fall. Now was not a time for crying. Now was a time for being strong.

  But, God, I missed Oliver.

  He would have been comforting me right now if he was still here. He would make some random joke and make me forget about everything that had happened. He would change the horrible image floating in my mind and replace it with something warm and welcoming.

  He would remind me there was still goodness in the world.

  And I really needed that kind of reminder right now.

  Chapter Nine

  The sunlight poked its head in through the window I didn’t realize was there. It said good morning and reminded me of all the aches in my body.

  Memories of the fight played in front of my eyes like a horror movie. The noise of the blows, the metallic smell of the blood, the primal desire to kill or be killed.

  Jet in the middle of it.

  I couldn’t think of him right now. He was the one stupid enough to get involved. He was the one who had refused to fight until I had been hurt. And then…

  My shoulder hurt like I’d been punched.

  It was right on target.

  My stomach growled for food and my throat was scratchy from screaming. I must have called out for Jet more than I registered at the time.

  I pushed myself up onto my feet. At least they still worked. I needed food and something to distract me. I needed to wipe everything from my mind and focus solely on the spirits. There was something I could do for them. The kids were another story all together.

  Checking in on Kalinda and her grandparents was my best shot at getting somewhere. They’d had the book all night, surely that was enough time to come up with something.

  It would be near impossible to find my way back to her shack by myself. Her community was nothing but a maze, designed to turn strangers around and around until they simply gave up.

  Or starved to death.

  Or were beaten.

  The tunnels were the closest option for food and I would be able to ask Jet for directions. If he had survived the fight. My stomach clenched for reasons that had nothing to do with the lack of food. If he hadn’t…

  But I was still angry with him. So, so angry.

  And scared.

  I would never be able to forget the look in his eyes. I had seen it before. When he had realized his gang members were trying to kill me, they had flashed with the same intensity. Again when I was attacked on my way to my apartment and he knew who had done it.

  Jet was a coiled spring, ready to attack at any moment.

  It was that kind of unpredictability that made him so dangerous. What happened if he decided I was the enemy? He had protected me so far, but what about if he decided to stop?

  I couldn’t think about it.

  Emerging from the building, the winter was taking a break and allowing spring a moment to get settled. There was no breeze, just a rising sun intent on melting all the snow and turning it to slush. That slush would soon turn into water and melt away like it had never been there in the first place.

  I looked forward to that day.

  My injured arm swung around a few times, testing the shoulder socket. It didn’t seem broken or dislocated. I would probably have a nasty bruise and nothing more. It was just another scar to add to the canvas on my skin.

  I’d had worse.

  When I reached the tunnels, they were much quieter than they normally were. It instantly put all my senses on high alert. Since the Event, things didn’t happen for no reason. If there were fewer kids in the tunnel, there was a reason behind it. I hated to think what it was.

  My first stop was Jet’s room.

  It was empty. His bed was neatly covered in a blanket, like he hadn’t slept in it.

  As I turned to leave, I ran straight into Kendall. Seeing her outside the farm was like seeing the Easter Bunny at Christmas. Completely and utterly wrong. We all existed in our little worlds and she was mixing two together.

  “You’re that girl,” Kendall said, pointing at me with a lazy finger. “Evelyn, right?”

  “Everly,” I corrected, certain she did that on purpose.

  She shrugged her shoulders like getting my name wrong was no big deal. Like it wasn’t an insult or anything. “I’m looking for Jet.”

  I wasn’t going to admit that I was too. I wasn’t like her, I wasn’t needy or desperate. “He’s not here.”

  “I can see that. Do you know where he is?” She shifted her weight to her other foot, clearly enjoying this conversation as much as me.

  I mimicked her and shrugged my shoulders. “How did you get here
?”

  “I caught a ride with one of Jet’s workers. I wanted a change of scenery.”

  More like she wanted to stalk Jet.

  While she seemed so chatty, I decided to get as much information out of her as possible. There was one matter in particular that kept haunting my thoughts. “You know a lot about the farm, don’t you? Liev relies on you a lot.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, suspicious of where my compliments were going. As well she should be. “I practically run the place. The farm couldn’t function without me.”

  I suspected that was a lie.

  But… whatever.

  “I was thinking about the red barn the other day.” The red barn that Liev was so cagey about. I hated not knowing something and my curiosity was prickling to fever pitch. “Would we be able to use it for storage, or is it too full of something else?”

  Her gaze travelled all over me before coming to rest on my eyes. “It’s full.”

  “Of what?”

  “Supplies.”

  “Supplies? Like grains and seeds and stuff?” That wasn’t exactly the conspiracy I had envisaged.

  “Yeah, like stuff that will keep us alive,” Kendall replied, her words dripping with attitude.

  And I thought Perry was bad.

  “So why wouldn’t Liev tell us that?”

  Kendall faltered, as if just remembering he had kept the information a secret and perhaps she should have done too. Oh well, too late now. “He doesn’t want anyone to know so people can’t steal it. It’s enough to keep the farm going for ten years. Maybe even longer. Would you want people to know about that?”

  The empty warehouse that Taz had pillaged came to mind. It felt horrible knowing all the vital supplies were gone. Liev had every right to keep that information to himself.

  I would have done the same.

  Kendall sighed and uncrossed her arms. “Will you keep it a secret? I’d rather we didn’t starve and all. Especially considering we’re helping you.”

  “I won’t tell anyone,” I said sincerely.

  “Good. Now, where can I find Jet?”

  “Try the cavern.”

  She rolled her eyes and started the long walk further underground. Even if she didn’t find Jet, at least she would be far away from me for a while.

  I turned and my feet continued on in the other direction while I remembered my reason for finding Jet. I pushed the panic down. It was threatening to creep up and take over every cell in my body. I could not let that happen. Not yet. Not until I knew what was going on.

  Voices stopped me midway between the room and the cavern. One belonged to Perry, I would recognize her whine anywhere.

  The other belonged to Jet.

  Relief shook away the panic, letting it settle down into the pit of my stomach where it usually lived. It never truly went away anymore.

  I trailed the sound of their conversation. They were in a room, I’d been in it once before. It held nothing more than a table and a few chairs, some kind of maintenance room. I cracked the door, taking in the scene before me.

  Jet was perched on the edge of the table, his shirt not on. Perry was dabbing a gash on his chest with sterile white gauze, soaked wet with antiseptic.

  They were talking quietly, intimately. It felt like I was watching a private moment between a couple as she tenderly slid the gauze over his angry wound. He winced and she apologized. He said it was fine and she gave him a small smile.

  The gash looked like it might have come from jagged fingernails. Except it was deep, deeper than little human fingers should be able to delve. Claws might have been more appropriate.

  Seeing them together ignited a special kind of pain in my shattered heart. It shouldn’t have bothered me. I shouldn’t even be noticing how close they were standing. How gentle she was being. How naked his chest was.

  None of what I was viewing should have been registering as pain.

  But it was.

  Horrible, horrible pain.

  I shuffled one step closer, suddenly desperate to hear what they were saying. My breath held in my lungs, scared of making even the tiniest of sounds.

  “This is going to hurt even worse, sorry,” Perry said, holding up a tube of ointment.

  “It’s okay,” Jet replied.

  He tried to be brave but the hard set of his jaw gave him away. Perry was hurting him with her stupid ointment but he wasn’t going to tell her to stop.

  “You should have had this looked at last night,” she admonished.

  “It’s not that bad.”

  “Until it gets infected and you die.” She smiled, like it was a joke but they both knew it was a strong possibility. Denial was a survival mechanism since the Event.

  Jet shrugged. “Thanks for doing this.”

  “Where were you, anyway? With her?”

  My ears instantly grew more alert. Was she talking about me? Or one of the many other girls he associated with?

  His jaw twitched before he answered. “No, I couldn’t find her.”

  “So you thought running around the city at night, bleeding, was a good decision?”

  “I had to know she was okay.”

  Perry rolled her eyes, I could feel the hostility roiling off her in waves – all headed in my direction, even though she didn’t know I was there. “When are you going to realize she doesn’t belong here? She doesn’t care about us or anything that goes on. The first sign of trouble and she runs away.”

  Perhaps they were talking about me.

  “She cares,” Jet replied seriously. “She’s just scared of getting close to people. I don’t expect her to join in. And she’s important to me. That should be reason enough for her acceptance here.”

  Perry made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort. “It takes more than that to be accepted around here.”

  “Perry.” There was a warning in her name.

  My stupid foot slipped. I grabbed the door without thinking, making it creak like a burglar alarm. I cringed as all my muscles tightened to fine balls.

  Their eyes both found me.

  “Everly, thank God,” Jet said, the words rushing out of his mouth partway between a sigh and a sob. He tried to stand but Perry pushed him back onto the table. “Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you.”

  “I… I had to get away,” I replied, kicking myself for the words all sticking to my throat like a damp lollipop.

  Perry ignored my presence.

  That was fine by me.

  “Are you okay?” Jet asked, desperation filling his voice with every word.

  “I’m fine. You look more injured than me.”

  Along with his angry gash, several purple bruises covered his head, neck, stomach, and abdomen. I’d never known he had such a perfectly sculpted chest before. Every muscle was defined, probably hard to the touch, too.

  “Everly,” Jet said loudly, like he might have had to say it a few times to get my attention.

  “What?”

  He looked back to Perry, ignoring me. “I’ll be able to finish up from here. Thanks for your help.”

  I was reduced to a pile of ashes from the glare she gave me on the way out. I closed the door behind her, not wanting to allow for eavesdroppers like they had.

  His gaze went back to me. “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

  My hands went to the medical supplies, busying myself there instead of having to face Jet. I carefully cut off a piece of gauze that would fit over his gash and started applying it to the wound. My fingers kept brushing his skin accidently, making my skin burn.

  “You scared me,” I said so quietly I wasn’t sure if he would be able to hear.

  Jet didn’t say anything. I could feel his eyes watching me but there were no words to give away what was running through his thoughts.

  Making sure the surgical tape was in perfectly straight lines around the gauze suddenly became the most important thing in the world to me. I lined it up, checking twice before pressing down onto hi
s skin. Only when I was satisfied did I cut the tape from the roll.

  When Jet spoke again, the noise startled me. “I’m sorry for scaring you.” He paused, but I wasn’t going to say anything. “But I’m not sorry for doing what I did.”

  “You could have been killed.”

  “I was trying to break up the fight.”

  “It’s not your job to save everyone in the city.”

  “So I should let them prey on the weak? Take advantage of the little kids?”

  My eyes flicked up to meet his, instantly seeing the fire burning there. “If you got yourself killed, you wouldn’t be much good to anyone.”

  He gasped as my fingers traced the gauze, making sure the tape was secure. “I had to help.”

  “And punching that guy? How was that helping?” The memory of seeing the boy’s face slack and out cold flashed into my mind unabated.

  “He hurt you.”

  “I was fine.”

  “Nobody hurts you and gets away with it.”

  I let the tape roll fall to the table, banging as it landed. “I didn’t ask you to protect me. I’ve never asked you to protect me like that.”

  “In case you haven’t noticed, Everly, it’s a war out there. And we’re all soldiers in it. Every one of us is fighting and I can’t think of anything better to fight for than you.”

  The world was spinning around me. Those words. His close proximity. The heat radiating off his skin and zapping me like we were both made out of electricity.

  Jet was dangerous.

  Jet was dangerous.

  Jet was dangerous.

  I took a step back, needing to do something to break away from his spell. He was an earthquake and I was a building, swaying with his effects like a powerless kitten.

  Oliver.

  I loved Oliver.

  My head shook, trying to settle my thoughts back into a pattern that made sense again. “Don’t fight for me again, okay? I don’t want that. I’m not yours to fight for.”

  His huge brown eyes drilled into me. They were sad now, all the fight gone. My insides twisted into unnatural shapes. I wanted to take back my words, make it all better again.

  But I couldn’t.

  Because Jet was dangerous.