Into The Deep

by Lauralee Bliss

  “Well, if it weren’t for the sick folk you got and you needin’ to find the massah right quick, we could do a little exploring. But I knows we got important things to do.”

  Susanna couldn’t see Jared’s reaction for the small amount of light generated by the lanterns, but she could sense it. Their entry into this dark place had ignited some strange curiosity within him, like a flame of fire bursting to life in a lantern. She wondered about him, even as she felt her own anxiety increase. To her, this dark, dank, cold place was alive, a breathing monster of sorts, ready to swallow them up if they were not careful. She drew closer to Jared, seeking his warmth and protection, even as he continued to pepper Stephen with questions.

  “How far is it to the sick area?” he asked.

  “Maybe a mile. Hard to say.” He then stopped. “We call this part of the cave the Rotunda.”

  Jared held up his lantern, the light glinting in his wide eyes. “It must be a big room. I can hear the echo of my voice.”

  “I’ll show you how big.” Stephen fumbled with a long stick and the lantern. In one sudden motion, Susanna saw something all aflame fly high into the air before them.

  “This is amazing,” Jared answered under his breath.

  Susanna watched the change in Jared with confusion. The cave had begun to do a work in a way she had never anticipated. Where was the man who despised this place? The one who believed it was dangerous? The one who wanted to see it closed? She dearly wanted to ask him but instead concentrated on the dirty path before her, all the while sensing her own growing displeasure with the passages that seemed to close in around her.

  After a time of muted silence, Jared turned. “Susanna? Are you all right?”

  She was fumbling with the lantern while trying to keep her dress from dragging in the dirt. She was glad for his concern but less so about his zealousness for this place. “I’m just surprised how eager you are to see the cave.”

  He didn’t seem to hear her as, once again, he hurried up to Stephen’s side and asked him about the guide’s adventures in the deep. Only when they came to a place Stephen called the Church, where the invalids celebrated services with a minister, did Susanna find a bit of comfort in the dismal surroundings.

  Jared ran ahead. The lantern illuminated his excited features as he came before the rocky pulpit. “So this is where the ministers stand to preach,” he exclaimed as if trying to envision such a meeting.

  “You thinking you might become a minister like that?” Stephen wondered with a chortle.

  For an instant there was silence. Susanna could see the question had begun to spin interest within Jared. “A minister,” he repeated. “Preaching the light of Christ in a dark place such as this. You’ve given me something to think about, Stephen. Maybe you were sent from the Lord.”

  He laughed outright. “Ha! When we see the massah there, you tell him you said that. Tell him that I, Stephen Bishop, was sent from the Lawd.” He turned thoughtful. “If only it were true. Then I’d be no one’s slave, no sir.”

  The comment cut Susanna to the quick. She saw Jared abandon the rocky pulpit to approach the guide. “I know,” he told Stephen softly. “Men are men. They shouldn’t be owned by others, except as slaves of righteousness. But I know, too, that the Bible talks about being a servant. We’re all supposed to be servants one to another, Stephen. And I think you are doing something great here. Who else could do the work of discovering what God has created under the ground?”

  “Tell that to my missus. My massah gives me free rein to explore my cave, but my wife, she sees my work as fool’s work. ‘Why you go down there, Stephen?’ she says. ‘You’ll go down there and one day you ain’t nevah coming back. Then what am I gonna do? I’m gonna have to raise Thomas all by my lonesome, and you be some kind of statue down in that hole, turned to stone, you will.’ ” He sighed. “But it’s in my blood. I go where the good Lawd leads. And I keep finding things.”

  “Please,” Jared prodded. “Tell me what else you’ve found?”

  His eyes gleamed. “Just you wait.”

  They continued on. The rocks shifted and clinked together beneath Susanna’s shoes. She felt like she was balancing on some rickety log across a creek, certain she would lose her footing. The lanterns began to flicker as the men suddenly turned right, off the main path.

  “Oh no,” she moaned in dismay. “Jared! Where are you?”

  He didn’t answer but had disappeared up a side passage. Slowly she inched her way along, trying to keep the lantern before her to find the way. This is how it had always been with Jared, trying to follow him amid the dinginess of life to see what awaited them both. It happened after his aunt’s burial and continued on even now, chasing him over hills and dales and now through the cave. At this point, tired and quite disheveled, she wasn’t certain she wanted to follow him much longer.

  When she caught up with them, the men were pointing at the cavern ceiling. Stephen had lit a torch and was showing Jared strange black markings from travelers of the past—etchings written onto the rock’s smooth surface for all time. She saw names and dates, a few pictures and other symbols, some recent, others from several years back, and even by a former owner of the cave, all bearing the mark of their presence here.

  “I would like to write my name up there,” Jared said wistfully. “Maybe one day I’ll come back and do it.”

  “And what will you write?” Susanna asked. “Jared Edwards, 1843? A cave of death?”

  He whirled then, the excitement in his eyes suddenly vanishing.

  “You told me so yourself.”

  The lantern shook in his hand. “Susanna. . . ,” he began, the doubt evident in his voice.

  “I’m only repeating what you once told me. But now I think we should be seeing about your uncle rather than finding places like this. Don’t you?”

  “We be at the sick cave right soon,” Stephen promised.

  Jared turned away. Nothing more was said as they retraced their steps back to the main tunnel. Susanna knew her words had buried the eagerness he held for the cave. But wasn’t he here to accomplish a purpose? She shivered as the cold began to seep into her. She found nothing exciting about this place, only dreariness that reminded her of a stormy night. The sooner they embraced the sunshine once more, the better she would like it.

  All at once, she began to smell the pungent odor of burning fires. Susanna choked and coughed as smoke filled the cavern interiors. The flicker of firelight danced across the steep walls as a stone hut came into view. Stephen stopped one of the attendants to inquire as to Dr. Croghan’s whereabouts, while Susanna gazed at the humble structures where the consumption invalids lived. Only a few of them still remained. The first huts were empty. Then she saw a bone-thin figure of a man, his beard long, his clothing dirty. He stood in the doorway of a hut, his cough biting the air. It was an image she might have conjured in a nightmarish dream. Then she saw another invalid, similar in appearance. These were not people. They were ghosts in a way, ravaged by their disease. She bit her lip to keep her emotions at bay and went off to sit on a rock.

  Meanwhile, Jared roamed among the huts, talking to a few of the people who still lived in their underground dwelling. Most were unwilling to converse, but he found one man eager to share. She watched from afar as they talked in earnest. Jared nodded, pointing at a wooden hut in a distance, perhaps the very hut where his aunt once lived. She tried to understand the changes in him—from a man once angry over the existence of the cave to one so fascinated that he had nearly forgotten his reason for being here. Moreover, when she examined herself, she saw one who wanted to support the cave with everything in her, only to find herself distressed by the disease and the darkness. She found little glory in a place marred by dripping water and the reality that some strange cave had consumed her life.

  Stephen approached her then, taking up her lantern so he could refill it with lard oil. “No one here’s seen the massah yet,” he said. “He comes by in the afternoon or thereabo
uts. Seeing as that fellar with you is interested in the bottomless pit and all, I could take you to see it ’til the doctor comes.”

  “I’d rather leave this place,” she declared. “I’ve seen enough.” It had been more than enough—the darkness, the cold, blackened names on the ceiling, the sickly ones.

  Stephen nodded and left. Jared soon ventured over to where she was keeping a lonely vigil on a stone bench of sorts. “Susanna, I’d like to go with Stephen. I want to see what else this cave has while we wait for the doctor to come. He’s going to show me the bottomless pit and the river. It isn’t far.”

  “What happened, Jared?” she chided. “So this isn’t such a terrible place, after all? A cave that should be closed forever?”

  “I was wrong to say all that without finding out more about this place,” he admitted, sitting down beside her. She was thankful for his presence, even if his unusual fascination with the cave confused her. “There is much more here than I ever realized.” He paused for a moment. “But I also need to tell you what happened, Susanna. One of the men in the sick cave knew my aunt. He told me things I needed to hear.” He picked up a smooth stone from the cavern floor. His dark eyes danced in the firelight. “I think God is telling me it was all right to have my aunt come here. That she didn’t die unhappy but happy, even if the cave didn’t cure her.” He blew out a sigh. “If only I could convince my uncle. Maybe if I could bring him here and have that man tell him what Mattie said before she went to be with the Lord.” He regarded her. “Susanna?”

  “I hear you, Jared. I’m glad you talked to the man.”

  Suddenly his hand gripped hers and held it. “So while we are waiting for the doctor to come, let’s go see what else is in the cave. You need to and so do I.”

  “I don’t need to see anything more.”

  He stared for a minute. “This place upsets you that much? Why?”

  How could she tell him she’d rather not walk about in darkness, that she preferred the light, the sunshine, the warmth, spring flowers, and a babbling brook at her feet?

  “Anyway, I don’t want you leaving this place alone. If you want to go back, we will. We can see the doctor at the hotel.”

  His concern for her felt like a warm wind passing over her heart. But she knew he had a renewed eagerness for exploration. Was it right for her to be so selfish? What should I do, Lord? Scripture filled her thoughts. He has not given me the spirit of fear but of power, of love, of a sound mind. He had bestowed His power through grace, the firmness of mind, and above all, His love to keep her safe. If Jared wanted to go, she would swallow down her apprehension. “All right. I’ll go a little further.”

  He leaped to his feet as though her words were like horehound candy to him. He smiled. “I’m glad.” He picked up her lantern. “I’ll stay with you every step of the way. We won’t go very far. Just to the river and then we’ll come back here so I can talk to the doctor and resolve everything.”

  His voice was persuasive, his hand firmly holding hers, his eyes warm. She was glad she decided to continue on. As it was, she could not leave this place alone, as he’d said, nor could she stay here among the sick. Instead, she prayed for the will to endure and for excitement to well up within her as it had in Jared.

  Thirteen

  He had been mistaken. Dreadfully mistaken. He wished now that all the words, the actions, the things he had whispered in the night and spoke aloud in the day could be undone. All the words about a dangerous cave, a cave of death, a cave no one should ever see again—he was wrong about it all. Never in his wildest imagination did he expect to find such a place beneath his feet. Yes, he had been grieved, guilt ridden, overwhelmed by his aunt dying in such a place. And yes, he wanted to see the cave closed. But having begun to experience this place for himself, there was so much more here than he ever realized. He could no longer harbor the anger or the guilt. Everything had been confirmed by the sickly man, sitting before one of the wooden huts, thin and dejected but with a willingness to talk. He was the sign Jared desperately needed.

  “Shore I remember Mattie,” the man told him when Jared inquired. “So she was yer aunt, eh? A fine lady. Good cook, too. But real sick. She was glad to be here, though. She knew she was a burden to everyone on the outside. Here in the cave, she was one of us. We all understood each other and what we were going through. She said she was glad her husband couldn’t see her like this—glad that she was here with us who also had the sickness. And she died like she lived, real peaceful-like.”

  Jared felt the burdens fall from him upon hearing these words. All the past inhibitions with this place of death faded, as well as the guilt. Mattie had been glad to be here. She was at peace. Everything was all right. He felt renewed in his spirit and ready for whatever came next.

  Now, if he could only understand Susanna. Her strange reaction to the cave puzzled him. Out of everyone, she should have the most exuberance for this place. It was her livelihood, after all. The place that brought her fine things and made her who she was. But as this place brought new knowledge to him, it seemed to birth within her fear and uncertainty, reactions neither of them expected.

  When the time came to depart, Susanna was on her feet, lantern in hand, ready to follow Stephen and Jared down another tunnel and to another new wonder. He hoped as time passed he could ease her fears, which seemed as cold as the rocky walls. If only she could see this place as he did, like a person awakening to a new dawn, eager to marvel at God’s handiwork carved from solid rock. But he also felt the need to protect Susanna. To care for her. To make certain nothing harmed her. He would leave the cave in an instant if he felt she was threatened by it. He knew that now, after seeing her vulnerability in this place. He would protect her with everything in his power and beyond.

  He walked beside her, his hand holding her arm to steady her gait on the shifting rocks. She murmured how her shoes were not made for this kind of adventure. When he asked again if they should leave, she shook her head. “No, I will do this,” she said. The lantern light reflected the determination in her face. If not for the excitement of the surroundings, he might have been inclined to gaze at that pretty face even longer, allowing his heart to absorb its beauty, maybe even succumb to the feel of her lips on his. But now, they were on an adventure of the body and the spirit. There would be a time and place for such things again.

  “Yonder is the bottomless pit,” he heard Stephen say. Susanna stopped in her tracks, holding up her lantern. Scanning the deep pit, they heard a trickling of water far below the wooden bridge where they stood. She sucked in her breath and gripped Jared’s hand.

  “I can’t cross this,” she murmured, even as Stephen easily ambled over the makeshift bridge to wait on the other side.

  “Susanna, you see how Stephen crossed it safely. I’ll go each step with you.” Every step in life together, if you’ll have me, he thought.

  “I don’t like the idea of some bottomless pit under me,” her voice faltered. She gripped his arm. “Just help me across so I don’t need to look down.”

  He smiled at her willingness to go forward, even if she felt uncertain. She trusted him. How he prayed for it, especially after he’d endured his uncle’s scorn and ridicule as he’d called Jared an untrustworthy fool. With confidence, Jared took her lantern in his hand and, with slow steps, helped her across the bridge.

  “This is sure a better bridge than what I first used to cross this here pit,” Stephen said with a laugh when they had made it over the chasm. “Why, I only had long tree poles then and had to scoot my way to the other side.”

  Susanna shuddered at the thought, staring straight ahead, refusing to look back at what they had just traversed. “I can’t believe young ladies actually do these tours.”

  “They do indeed, Miss, and they enjoy it, too. So, as I tell them, just enjoy yourself. There ain’t nuthin’ like it.” He began to whoop and cheer as if to settle any remaining fear and uncertainty.

  Jared returned Susanna’s lantern to h
er. In its flickering light, he saw her smile at the man’s antics. “He is a good guide,” she agreed. “No wonder everyone loves him.”

  Dare I say that I think I’m also falling in love with you, Susanna? Jared thought. Maybe when all this was done, God would show them their future through His unfailing mercy, a mercy that Jared had witnessed time and time again. As scripture said, His faithfulness was new every morning. He would bring to pass His will for their lives. How Jared prayed that God’s will also included Susanna.

  “Winding Way is up ahead,” Stephen announced. “Be careful here. The passage is real narrow, and you need to stoop there some.”

  Jared took his time maneuvering through the narrow crevice between the rocks. Susanna murmured in dismay as the sharp edges of rock rent her dress and her lantern banged against the stone. He ducked beneath the rock that jutted low from the ceiling, looking back several times to make sure Susanna was still with him. “How did you ever find this passage?” he asked Stephen.

  “Twernt easy. I was dun buried up to my chest here.” Stephen paused. “I had to dig it out.”

  “Then how did you know it was even a safe passage to walk through?”

  The lantern illuminated the sheepish grin on his dark face. “That twernt easy neither,” he only repeated. “But I dun looked at my chest and then at my feet. I saw the dirt there, but the way the rock came down and separated at my feet, I said to myself, this here’s a passage. And if it’s a passage, I’m gonna find a way to git through so’s I can see what’s on the other side.”

  Jared admired the man’s tenacity. If only I could be so determined to conquer life’s struggles, to find a passageway even if buried chest deep in trials and tribulations.

  “Jared, I’m caught!” Susanna exclaimed.

  He helped her undo the hem of her dress, which had snagged on the jagged rocks. “So is this what you wanted to show me?” she asked. “That I should release my vanity to God by letting it all be wasted in this place?” She showed him her dress, torn and dirty from their ramble in the cave.