Daughter of Chaos (Red Magic)

by Jen McConnel

  “Good morning, sunshine!” Dad greeted me with a smile when I strolled into the kitchen. “You look like you’re in a fabulous mood!”

  “I am.” I grabbed a bagel and some peanut butter and sat down at the table with him. The paper was next to him, folded messily, and I glanced at the front page. “Anything interesting in the world?”

  Dad sighed. “Interesting, yes. Good? Not really. There was an earthquake in Asia last week, and a lot of people are still without basic needs.”

  I hummed as I spread the chunky peanut butter on my bagel, not really listening.

  “And I’m in the middle of a major project at work, so there’s a lot on my mind. Did you have fun with your mother yesterday?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, it was just what I needed.”

  Dad looked thoughtful. “I don’t know if it was what your mom needed.”

  I looked around, realizing for the first time that we were the only ones in the kitchen. “Where is she, anyway?”

  “She’s got a headache, so she decided to lie down. I think she’ll be staying home again today.”

  My mother had only ever missed three days of work that I could remember: yesterday, the time I broke my arm in third grade, and the previous winter when Dad had walking pneumonia. She never stayed home when she was sick, trusting instead in magic and herbs to heal her quickly. What if the ritual we’d done yesterday had sapped her strength? Fleetingly, I wondered if there might be a way I could use Red magic to recharge her. I’d never done anything like that before, though, and I didn’t really want to experiment on Mom. Still, I should try to do something. “Maybe I should stay home with her.”

  “No.” Dad shook his head. “You can’t afford to miss any more school.”

  I shrugged, not making eye contact as I bit into my breakfast. “I guess. Well, I’ll at least come right home at the end of the day. I’ll tell Rochelle we can hang out later.”

  Dad beamed at me. “That’s my girl. It wouldn’t break my heart if you stopped hanging out with Rochelle altogether.”

  Usually, when my dad said something like that, I got angry. Today, nothing seemed to faze me. I shrugged again. “She’s my best friend. I’m not going to ditch her.”

  Dad folded the paper and tossed back the rest of his coffee. “Just think about it, sweetie. You don’t want to spend your time with someone so … negative, do you?” He didn’t wait for my answer as he picked up his briefcase and glanced at the clock. “I’ll try to be home around six. Look in on your mother before you leave, okay?”

  I nodded as the door swung shut. Finishing the second half of my bagel in one bite, I raced up the stairs two at a time. I tapped gently on the door, and when I didn’t hear any response, I opened it slowly. My parents’ bedroom was dark and I could barely see Mom’s lumpy shape passed out on the bed. Quietly, I shut the door. She probably just needed to sleep, I reasoned as I grabbed my bag and cell phone off my desk. Once I was out the door, my worries about Mom were quickly replaced with heady anticipation. I had a feeling that my spell would yield results today, and I knew just the place to wait for that to happen.

  ***

  It hadn’t changed: the same ivy crept up the brick walls, and the same creepy gargoyle grinned down at me as I passed beneath the gate. I don’t know why it would have changed. I hadn’t been out of school for that long, but everything in my world was different. I guess I had expected that things would be different here, too.

  School had already started, so the courtyard was deserted. I snuck past Snout’s office and headed straight for the library. I could hide out there all day and no one would ever find me unless I wanted them to.

  The library at Trinity was the one thing I had missed since my declaration to Red magic. The school had reappropriated the old gym when the book collection surpassed our athletic skills, and a new space hadn’t been built yet to house the books. Shelves were arranged like prison bars across the court, and no matter where I stood, I could see at least two basketball hoops. It was weird, but kind of cool at the same time.

  I slipped between the biography and miscellaneous shelves and began browsing. Some of the books were shiny and new, while others were bound in dusty leather with gold lettering. Still others were so old that they had no writing on the spines. It was insane how much knowledge was stored at Trinity, and for a moment, I wondered about Rochelle’s suspicion. How much magical information was the school keeping from us?

  I paused, my fingers hovering over a book entitled Love, Lust, and other Longings. It wasn’t the kind of thing I usually went in for, but I was feeling all mushy that morning, so I pulled it off the shelf and curled up on the floor, leaning up against the bleachers. Before long, I was immersed in the book, fantasizing about trying some of the spells on Justin. There was one in particular involving feathers and cinnamon that I thought would be interesting, and I made a mental note of the page. I was totally focused on memorizing the spell when someone coughed.

  “Oh, good, you’re studying.” I jerked my head up to find Aphrodite sitting next to me.

  I exhaled in surprise. “I really wish you would stop sneaking up on me! You’re going to give me a heart attack.”

  “You’re a Red Witch, Darlena. Toughen up!”

  I closed the book with a snap. “Are you here to lecture me?”

  She looked genuinely surprised. “No, I’m here to see if your spell has worked yet.”

  “How did you know about that?”

  “Darlena, when will you learn that there is little about you that I do not know?” Her words grated on me, but I tried to keep my temper.

  “Well, if you know so much, you should know if it’s worked or not.”

  Aphrodite eyed the dusty book on my lap and glanced around the room. “I’d say not, unless you’ve hidden your boy somewhere in the bookshelves.” She stood up and crossed to the nearest shelf. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” She searched around for a moment, then looked at me and smirked. “Nope. I was right. You aren’t hiding a boy in here.”

  I glared at her, fighting the urge to blush. “It will work. I’m just waiting to be around when it does.”

  “Child,” Aphrodite chided, “you are sworn to a goddess of love. You of all people don’t have to mope around wondering if a boy will call. He will call.”

  I turned an even brighter shade of red. “Fine. While I’m waiting, maybe you can teach me something. We haven’t had many lessons yet.”

  “You’re right.”

  I was surprised that she agreed so quickly, so I stuttered, “Can you teach me how to bind the spell so it lasts?”

  She looked at me for a moment, her face expressionless. “Are you so sure that you want it to last? It is not in the nature of love to be unchangeable.”

  I paused, trying to put my thoughts into words. “It’s just that, in the past few days, I’ve felt like I’m totally alone. My parents don’t remember anything about me being a Red, and now Justin stopped talking to me because—” I broke off, not sure I wanted to say anything to the goddess about my suspicions, but of course she could read my mind.

  Her eyes grew wide and her face flushed in anger. “Someone has been using your image to work magic?”

  I protested quickly, even though she’d just voiced my own deep fear. “Maybe not. Maybe Cindy just saw someone who looked like me, and in the chaos after the fire, she wasn’t thinking clearly.” I felt a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach as I realized my theory wasn’t plausible. Someone had posed as me. I just had no idea why.

  “I am beginning to understand.” Aphrodite’s comment took me by surprise. She went on. “You said you feel isolated, and now because this boy thinks you are lying, you have lost his support, too. Someone is trying to make you vulnerable, Darlena. It is easier to attack one who stands alone than to target a person surrounded by love.”

  “But I don’t understand. Who would want to attack me?”

  Aphrodite narrowed her eyes. “Don’t lie. You know exactly
who is behind this.”

  I saw Hecate’s flashing yellow eyes in my mind, and I swallowed. “Yes.”

  “What I don’t understand,” she continued, “is how she is going about it.”

  “What do you mean? She’s the Queen of Witches!”

  Aphrodite shook her head in irritation. “The gods are bound by different laws than mortals. You may remember our part in the Trojan War.”

  I thought hard, and grasped a scrap of memory. “You pushed the mortals to act, but when it came to the actual fighting, all you could do was watch from above and hope that they would carry out your conflicting wishes. Does that mean that you—any of you—can’t actually do anything in the real world?”

  She looked down and nodded. “I have always hated the fact that I am, essentially, powerless when it comes to the lives of men. I may manipulate, I may plan, I may cajole, but in the end, I may not act for myself.” She clenched her robe in her fists. “For all that I am, a goddess, possessed of powerful magic, I am sometimes helpless without the assistance of my sworn mortals.”

  I thought about what she had said. If the gods couldn’t act on their own, the attention of the various Red goddesses suddenly made a lot more sense to me. Filing that piece of information away to think about later, I asked, “So you’re saying that Hecate isn’t behind all this?”

  She shook her head. “Not at all. I see her hand clearly. But she is not able to carry out these actions without mortal assistance. Someone”—she spoke softly—“has betrayed you.”

  ***

  Aphrodite spent the morning teaching me to shield my thoughts. “I hate to see you learn to close yourself from me,” she said regretfully, “but it now seems imperative that I offer you whatever protection I can.”

  I agreed. Secretly, I wasn’t as thrilled as I had expected to learn how to block my mind from invasion. It was irritating when the goddess read my mind, but her ability also meant I didn’t have to waste time explaining things every time I saw her.

  “Like any spell, this isn’t permanent, but until you discover who means you harm, it would be best for you to shield your thoughts at all times.”

  “Even when I’m at home?” I argued.

  “Especially then. Hecate would have no scruples about turning your own family against you; in fact, it would suit her purposes to not only weaken you through her magic, but also leave you betrayed by those you love most.”

  “But what does she want?”

  “I believe that her hope is, once you are weakened, she will be able to influence you again.”

  I shuddered, remembering the satisfaction I had seen in Hecate’s eyes the day of the car accident.

  Aphrodite continued, making my stomach turn over. “If she can, she will wield you as a weapon of chaos. It would be best,” she added wryly, “if you do not allow this to happen.”

  I felt a stab of guilt at her words. Even though I had not allowed Hecate to use me, I felt as though I had given her the advantage when I stopped actively trying to avert chaos. Since the hurricane, I had only focused my efforts on learning love magic. If I had continued to work with the more powerful Red forces, would Hecate have been able to gain a foothold in my life so quickly?

  I didn’t know the answer. I only knew that I had to prepare myself to stand against the goddess I feared most. Even my horror of Kali paled in comparison to the calculating appetite for death I had seen in Hecate’s eyes. I worked hard at the spell Aphrodite showed me, and I had just sealed it with a careful knot when I heard the library door open behind us.

  I spun around, hurriedly thinking of an excuse to justify my presence if the intruder was Snout, but I needn’t have worried. Justin was crossing the court, peering at the bookshelves for a moment before he spotted me. I glanced back at Aphrodite, but she had vanished.

  He walked up to the bleachers where I sat and bounded up them two at a time. All at once, he was there beside me. I grinned at him and tried to resist the urge to fling my arms around him. First, I needed to see if my spell had worked.

  “Darlena.” He whispered my name as if it were a prayer, and I felt a ripple of goose bumps cascade down my arms. Then his lips were pressed to mine, and I melted into his warmth. I forgot everything, savoring the sensation of his kiss.

  Justin and I spent the afternoon walking hand in hand through the neighborhoods surrounding Trinity. The fall sunshine cast a golden light on everything, and I felt like I had when I’d snuck champagne at my cousin’s wedding the previous spring. It was wonderful.

  “I have an idea.” Justin’s eyes sparkled, and I smiled up at him.

  “What?”

  He shook his head. “It’s a secret. You’ll find out soon enough.”

  Turning, he led me through a labyrinth of streets lined with charming World War II–era homes. After a few twists and turns, I was hopelessly lost, but then we came around the bend and I spotted a brontosaurus through the trees.

  “Seriously?” I laughed and squeezed his hand.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I haven’t been here since my tenth birthday.” We had stopped walking, but I was smiling.

  “So? It’s high time you went back.”

  I laughed and let him lead me through the entrance to the science museum. It had been one of my favorite places as a child, but I’d outgrown it a long time ago.

  “We’re the only people here without kids!” I whispered self-consciously, glancing around.

  He slipped his arm over my shoulders. “Aren’t we lucky? We can do whatever we want.”

  I relaxed and started to enjoy myself. We wandered past rocks and fossils, space mission equipment and X-ray machines. I was heading for the animals; the museum kept bears, wolves, and lemurs in outdoor habitats on the land surrounding the building, and even though I hadn’t been there in years, I still remembered where my favorite exhibits were. Laughing, Justin grabbed my hand and ran with me to the first habitat.

  “I love the bears.” I was breathless from rushing toward the cage.

  “They are pretty cute.”

  We pressed against the railing at the viewing area, wedging our way in between children and their parents. Shoulder to shoulder, we stood in silence while we watched the three brown bears sleep, eat, and splash in the water. I sighed in contentment. I would have been perfectly willing to stay right there for the rest of the day, but Justin wanted to see the wolves, so I reluctantly pulled myself away to follow him.

  The keepers were just finishing laying out food when we reached the second large fence. I watched, fascinated, as two red wolves slunk along the top of their enclosure, stalking the tray of raw meat. Justin turned away after a second.

  “I don’t really want to watch them eat.”

  But I was mesmerized. The first wolf had reached the meal and was sniffing it cautiously. Then, with a low growl, it began to tear at the flesh. The kids beside me let out a collective “Eeeew!” before their parents pulled them away. My ears started to ring, but my eyes were fixed on the feeding wolves. It was like I was entering a trance. My hands started to tingle, and I knew that at any second, I’d start shooting Red sparks into the air. Just then, Justin leaned down and kissed me quickly.

  I looked at him, my reverie broken. He smiled at me, and my heart flipped.

  “Let’s keep walking.”

  I nodded, and let him lead me back to the path. I glanced over my shoulder toward the wolves once, but after that I kept my attention on Justin. It was amazing to be with him, and I whispered a silent thank you to Aphrodite for teaching me the importance of love magic.

  ***

  When Justin left me at the door of my house, the sky was already turning the purple of twilight. He kissed my cheek gently, and I reached up to draw him close for a real kiss. After a long moment, he pulled away.

  “I should get home.” He didn’t move.

  I nodded and kissed him again.

  When I finally broke away, I glanced at the house. The lights were on, but the front
curtains were drawn. I giggled nervously. “I wonder if my parents are watching us.” For a second, I thought I saw the curtain move, but it must have been my imagination. Still, I pictured my dad standing there with his eye pressed to the sliver of light, trying to see what we were doing. Just to be silly, I waved.

  Justin glanced up at the window and smiled. “If they are, they must know how much I love you.”

  My throat tightened. “What did you say?”

  “That I love you, Darlena.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. There was a pause while I smiled up at him like an idiot, but then he playfully flicked my hair and said, “Well?”

  I blinked, confused. “Well?”

  His eyes looked troubled, but he didn’t say anything.

  “Oh!” I exclaimed. “Oh, of course. I love you, too.” I’d thought the words often enough, but I’d never imagined I’d get the chance to say them.

  He kissed me again, and a traitorous thought flickered through my mind: did he really love me, or was it just the spell talking?

  “I’ll call you tonight.” He lifted my hand up to his lips, and gently brushed my fingertips against them. I shivered in delight.

  “I know you will.” I blew him a kiss as he turned and walked down the street. When he had rounded the corner, I looked up at the rapidly darkening sky. I put my arms out and started to spin giddily.

  “That was even better than I expected!” I whispered when I staggered to a stop. I started to laugh, realizing that I was standing there, in the dark, talking to the clouds like a crazy person. It was a good thing Justin had already left! Even as I thought it, I knew it wouldn’t matter. He loved me, and that wouldn’t change because I was acting a little crazy. But would it change if he knew about the spell? I tried to ignore that niggling thought as I went inside.

  ***

  That night, my dreams were filled with the heavy perfume of roses and summer, despite the autumn wind that blew outside my window. I didn’t hear the pelting rain, nor did I notice the wind. I dreamt of fields of flowers and sunshine and had no idea that, as I slept, a late-season hurricane was inching closer to the Atlantic coast.