Blinded

by Maya Hughes

  “Alex, you’re nothing like your mother. Don’t even think that for a minute. No matter what happens with Gabe, you could never be that woman.”

  She let out the breath she’d been holding since bringing up her mom. The thought of being with a cheater curdled her stomach, no matter how much she might have still cared about him. It was a promise she’d made herself a long time ago.

  “Have you thought about custody? Visitation? Things like that?”

  “No, we haven’t even touched on that. He’s going to Scotland in a week. He wants Emma to go with him. He wants me and Emma to go with him.”

  “How do you feel about that?”

  “I don’t know! Emma would be thrilled. She’s already a daddy’s girl after just one afternoon and I know that being away from him this soon after meeting him would be hard for her. But I don’t know if I can handle that, so soon. And what if he does start talking about custody and visitation?”

  “Do you still have the custody papers you had me draw up a few years ago?”

  She pulled open the bottom drawer of her desk and pushed a few things aside before she came to the large manila envelope. With the issue of the money and what that meant as far as custody of Emma and how it might play out in court, she knew that she’d have to talk to him soon.

  She’d had these drawn up when she was afraid of him swooping back in to her life and trying to take Emma from her. Over the years that fear had waned, but she was happy to have them there, like a security blanket.

  Did he know about that money? It had been the only thing that kept her and Emma off the streets when she’d left LA and worked to finish school. Knowing that the money hadn’t come from him, but most likely from Aaron made things even more difficult. The no-contact clause that she’d assumed was from him also made things more difficult. Jen berated her for signing it initially, but that money did a lot of good for Alex and Emma. She’d eventually come around and admitted it had been a good decision.

  “Hello? Earth to Alex,” Jen called out from the phone.

  “Sorry, what did you say?”

  “I asked how you’re going to deal with being in such proximity with Gabe for the next week.”

  “I don’t know yet and we’ll see how this week goes when it comes to Scotland. I don’t know how Emma is going to react to having him here for the week. And she finishes school on Friday, so it wouldn’t disrupt school for her to go.”

  “I’m sure Emma will be fine; I’m more worried about you. How would you handle that? Being around Gabe? I know even with everything that happened, you still care for him. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

  “I know, neither do I. I just have to remember that he’s there for Emma and being a good dad to her doesn’t mean that he would be a good boyfriend to me. He’s proven that to me in so many ways. I’ll keep my guard up and ensure that I don’t fall back into that old trap.”

  “Ok, give me a call if you need me to go over the paperwork again or if you need to talk. I’m only in the office for a few hours after I leave here and then a little bit tomorrow.”

  “Jen! It’s the weekend.”

  “No rest for the weary,” she sighed. “But don’t worry, I’m going out tonight for a few drinks with a couple of people. And I will not be stuffy Jen the Lawyer, I will be Jen the Drinker.”

  Alex let out a laugh. “I’m glad to see you still let her out every so often.” In the background, a door opened again and someone started to speak to Jen in a raised voice.

  “One sec,” Jen said and there was a short, muffled exchange and Jen was back.

  “I have to let her out every so often or she tries to take over during lawyer time and gets me into trouble. Take care of yourself Alex and give me a ring if you need anything.”

  “Will do, and I can’t wait to hear about Jen the Drinker’s night out. I’m sure it will be epic.”

  “I hope so. Bye, Alex.”

  “Bye, Jen,” she said, ending the call.

  18

  The day before had gone uneventfully, at least compared to the first half of the day. Emma woke up after her nap, the three of them played some board games, went for a walk, and then eaten dinner.

  “Daddy, what’s your favorite food?”

  “I’d have to say it’s pancakes, specifically, your mom’s pancakes,” he said, shooting Alex an intense look.

  “Me too! Me too! I love Mommy’s pancakes. We only get them on special days though. And it was a super special day yesterday,” she said, bouncing in her chair.

  “It definitely was, Emma.”

  “What’s your favorite color?” Emma asked with her mouth full.

  “Emma, come on, you know not to talk with your mouth full.”

  “Sorry, Mommy,” she said after swallowing her food.

  “My favorite color is green.”

  “Mine is purple.”

  “Will you be going away again, Daddy?”

  Her question stopped both Gabe and Alex with their forks halfway up to their mouths.

  “I’ll get to spend all week with you, Emma. I can take you to school and drop you off. But I have to go to work at the end of the week, so we might not be able to see each other as much when I’m working.”

  “But I don’t want you to go away. I want to see you every day. It’s not fair. I’ve never had a daddy, so you can’t just go away again.” Her lower lip trembled. The pit grew in his stomach and the moment he hoped wouldn’t have to have with her yet was upon them.

  “Emma, I swear that we will be able to talk as much as you want and I’ll be here as often as I can.”

  “But I want you here all the time, living with us,” Emma moaned.

  “Emma, sweetie, remember when we had the talk about different kinds of families? We talked about how not everyone lives with all their family all the time. Do you remember that?”

  “But why not? Why can’t we be a together-all-the-time family?”

  “It’s not that easy Emma, we are a family and that’s what’s most important, okay? And your daddy and I will do everything we can to make sure that you get to see him as much as we can. Okay?”

  “Okay,” she said glumly.

  They both put Emma to bed. Apparently, the excitement of the day had gotten to her and she only requested two books that evening instead of trying to negotiate for more as Alex said she always did.

  “You’ll be here when I wake up in the morning, won’t you Daddy?” Emma asked, looking up at him with such big innocent eyes that it nearly broke his heart.

  He knelt and gave her another kiss on the head. “Of course, I will Emma. I’ll be here for the whole week. I’ll be here when you wake up.” She gave him a nod and then rolled over onto her side. Emma’s question had cemented his desire to have them come with him to Scotland. He didn’t want Emma to think that he would just disappear on her.

  He swore she wiped a tear from her eye as she turned off the light and they went back downstairs. He was sure to help her with the dishes this time. They settled into a quiet companionable silence as they went about their work. The spark that zinged through him whenever he was near her came to life. It was hard to think straight when she was near him.

  After they cleaned up dinner, she excused herself to her office. He thought she probably went in there to avoid him, not that he blamed her. He didn’t expect the shock to wear off after only a day. Heading upstairs, he laid down and fired up his laptop. There was a flurry of emails from Aaron, Aaron’s assistant, and a few others. He deleted everything from Aaron and was emailing his assistant about planning for Scotland, when he looked up and saw Alex.

  “We’ll go,” Alex whispered so softly that Gabe almost didn’t hear her. She was standing in the doorway to his room, standing rigid like a statue.

  “Sorry, what was that?” he said, sitting up in his bed making sure he’d heard her correctly.

  “I said we’ll go. I talked to work and I can take some time off and do remote work, if need be. So, we can
stay for a while there. Maybe three weeks or so.”

  “Alex, I don’t know what to say! Thank you!” he said, elated that he would be able to put Emma to bed every night and wouldn’t have to be away from her. “You don’t know how much this means to me. Can we tell Emma in the morning?”

  She nodded and leaned against the doorjamb.

  “There are a few things that you’ll have to arrange for to make things easier when we are there.”

  “Of course, anything,” he said, nodding his head emphatically. He put his computer on his lap to add the items to the email he was already sending.

  “It would probably be better if we could stay in a house instead of a hotel. A place where Emma can have her own room and a yard to play in. I know you’ll be on set a lot, so somewhere that’s close to a park or other places for her to play would be ideal.”

  “Yes, great suggestions, I’ll make sure it’s all arranged.”

  “If you could get someone to get information about kids’ classes and activities in the area, that would also help. She’s a ball of energy and I’m sure there are cool things that we could do while we’re there.”

  “Perfect. I’ll make sure it’s all set before we even go. I’ll get us a three-bedroom place—”

  Alex interrupted. “Three bedrooms?”

  “Yes, one for me, one for you, and one for Emma.”

  “I thought it would just be me and Emma.”

  “Alex, part of the reason I want you both to come is so that I can spend as much time as I can with you, with Emma. I want to be there to tuck her in and for breakfast in the morning. I want to be there every moment I’m not working,” he said, swinging his legs off the side of the bed.

  “Right. That makes sense. Three bedrooms will work,” she said giving him a forced smile. “You’ll let me know what we need to bring over?”

  “If you have passports, I can take care of everything else. Bring a few things that she loves to put in her room, but otherwise, we’ll take care of everything there.”

  “Okay, thanks Gabe. I’m sure she’ll have a great time while we’re there.”

  “You both will; I’ll make sure of it. I can get you anything you need to help with work and stuff.”

  “If there is an office and reliable Wi-Fi, I’ll be fine.” Alex hesitated and he started to stand. “Goodnight Gabe,” she said before darting off and going into her bedroom. Her bedroom door closed and he dropped back down onto his bed.

  That could have gone better, but at least they were coming with him to Scotland. It would give him more time with Emma and more time to show Alex just how much she meant to him. He needed her to see that he was serious about them being together because if she didn’t believe it, they would never be a family.

  Alex stared up at her bedroom ceiling and the thumps and thuds of Gabe moving around in the guest room came through the walls. The decision to fly to Scotland had been a difficult one. In a small way, she wished Emma hadn’t taken to him so quickly—it would have made the choice easier—but every minute she chatted about him if she wasn’t there with him. Piggy back rides, pushes on the swing, taking a nap on his chest; Emma was not one to be separated from her dad.

  Going to Scotland would help them bond even more and maybe she would think about having her go for visits sooner than she initially intended. She hoped it was the right choice. For Emma, it was an easy decision, for her it was trickier. Being this close to he was wreaking havoc on her resolve to stay away from him and not get involved again.

  It had been less than forty-eight hours and she was already imagining his arms around her. Slamming her hands into her head, she hated herself for even thinking that. He’d cheated. She’d resolved to never, ever be with a cheater. She had to value herself more than that; if she didn’t then she might as well move back in with her mom and become that woman’s clone.

  She had to stay strong or she would end up destroying herself. Going to Scotland would be a true test of her ability to resist him. She didn’t know if she could and more importantly, she didn’t know if she wanted to, but more than her self-respect was on the line when it came to him.

  19

  The week flew by and Alex had to admit that she enjoyed having Gabe there. He was up bright and early with Emma every morning. Emma was so excited for him to walk her to school that she was waking up before the sun and getting dressed in the dark. She was worried that even in his baseball cap and sunglasses, he would draw attention, and he certainly did. Although the other moms couldn’t see his face very well, his height and muscled body were hard to miss, especially at drop-off where almost everyone knew everyone else. Wearing his incognito attire, he could drop Emma off with her without too many questions.

  For the questions she got, she told people that he was Emma’s dad in town for a visit. There were a few shocked glances, but no one was too nosy. She was sure they were all talking about her behind her back, but she didn’t really care too much. The biggest issue occupying her days with him around was what to do when Emma wasn’t there as a buffer. He was wreaking havoc on her equilibrium. While she generally worked from home a couple of times per week, she found herself going into the office almost every day just as a respite from being in the house, feeling like he was tracking her every move.

  He’d practically set up shop in her office, even though there was a desk up in the guest room. He also found any chance he could to touch her when they were alone. It could be brushing against her when reaching for something, or not moving to the side when they walked down the hallway. She’d even walked out into the hall one day when he was coming out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around his waist. She swore that her legs turned to jelly as she placed a hand on the wall to steady herself.

  Gabe apologized as he hustled into the guest room with the water glistening on his body and muscles rippling as he adjusted his towel. Alex hadn’t even realized she’d been frozen in place and staring until he gave her a wink and closed the door right in her face. She had made sure that she went into the office that day and the following day, partially to tamp down her embarrassment.

  If she was in the office, he would pick up Emma on his own. When she came home, there were tales of their trip to get ice cream, or of him pushing Emma on the swing almost up to the sky. Emma was beaming every single day and that was how she knew that going to Scotland was the right choice. Maybe it wasn’t the right choice for her, but for Emma it was a no brainer.

  The only hiccup they’d had during the week was one day when she’d come home early from work. At first, she thought that maybe he had gone out, but then a raised voice came from her office. The door was slightly ajar and he was shouting inside.

  “If you think for one fucking minute you are getting another cent from me you are sorely mistaken! You’ll be lucky if I don’t kill you the minute I see you,” he roared. She pushed the door open a little bit further. He was in the office pacing and pulling at his hair with his phone to his ear.

  “I don’t care about your excuse. You kept my daughter from me for six years and you kept Alex away from me for even longer. Don’t call me again. And don’t even think about calling me from another number. I’ll talk to you through my lawyers.”

  She could hear raised voices through the other side of the line, but couldn’t make out what was being said.

  “I’ll get my own lawyers, Aaron. I don’t care.”

  “We’ll see about that. I’ll make sure that you never work for another client ever again. Don’t contact me again.” He slammed down the phone so hard, the screen cracked. He picked it up and cursed at it. She knocked on the door to make her presence known. He whipped around with his eyes wide.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard shouting and just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

  He dropped his head, shaking it. “I’m sorry Alex. I didn’t mean to get so loud.”

  “It’s all right. I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

  “
About as okay as I can be after realizing I let a snake run my life for the past seven years.”

  “So, Aaron’s done more than keeping the knowledge that Emma existed from you?”

  “That by far takes the cake and makes everything else pale in comparison,” he said solemnly.

  “If you want to talk about it, we have about twenty minutes until we need to pick up Emma. We could go for a walk,” she offered. He looked up at her and gave her a small smile.

  “Sure, that sounds good.”

  They began their walk the long way to the school in silence. The warm late spring air was filled with lively sounds of the neighborhood. The birds were out and a warm breeze was passing by them.

  “I knew from the beginning that Aaron was out for himself, but I always thought he was also on my side,” Gabe began. “He was just starting out as well when I started on Stargazer. I was his first big client in a major movie, so I thought we were a good fit. Navigating the world together. The first indicator that I should have seen coming was the relationship clause in the Stargazer franchise agreement,” he said, as he stopped and looked up at the sky. Alex stopped beside him as he seemed to be gathering his thoughts.

  “That fucking agreement. What a mess!” he said as he continued walking. “Aaron told me that the studio could have sued me for millions of dollars if I backed out of that agreement because of the relationship clause.”

  Her stomach turned at the thought of that Stargazer agreement. She’d known that he’d agreed to it, but she never got the why.

  “They would have sued you for millions?”

  “That was what Aaron was telling me. I had no idea how to read contracts back then. When I told him no way, that I was in a relationship with you and I wouldn’t do it, that’s when he threw down the lawsuit hammer. Said they would sue me for breach of contract and I would be on the hook for millions. What an idiot I was,” he said, his hands fisted at his sides.