Breaking Mr. Cane

by Shanora Williams

  Cane ignored his remark, putting his attention on me. “Kandy Cane,” he murmured, almost dreamily, and my belly flipped. “You look well.”

  I sucked in a breath through my teeth. “Thanks, I guess.”

  “You guys know each other?” Brody asked hesitantly, taking a slight step sideways.

  “He’s my dad’s friend,” I filled in quickly, before Cane could say something crazy, like he was the man who had my virginity in his back pocket.

  “Oh—that’s cool! I didn’t know your dad had a millionaire friend!”

  Cane grimaced then, his nostrils flaring. “Brody, would you give me and Kandy a second? I would like to talk to her—catch up on a few things. I haven’t had the chance to speak to her much since school started.”

  “Oh, yeah. Sure, man! No problem.”

  I nodded when Brody looked my way to make sure it was okay to leave us alone. “We’ll talk more later,” I told him as he started walking off.

  Cane and I watched him walk away, and when Brody entered the auditorium again, Cane stared down at me. “Who is he to you?”

  “A friend,” I stated.

  “A boyfriend?”

  I frowned up at him, narrowing my eyes. “How’s your girlfriend Kelly?” I countered, and at that, deep lines formed on his forehead.

  He sighed, not bothering to answer the question.

  “Still around, I assume.”

  “Kandy. Cut it out. She’s not my fucking girlfriend.”

  “Why are you here, Cane? Of all the places you could be, you come here? Why?”

  “They invited me to speak.”

  “Did they invite you, or did you hear about it and shove your way in just to show up and fuck with my head?” I spat.

  “I didn’t come here to fuck with your head, Kandy. Yes, I heard about this opportunity and wanted it, in hopes of seeing you, but is that so bad? I haven’t spoken to you in months!”

  “Well, who’s fault is that? You can’t just prance your way onto my campus and interrupt my life like this, let alone scare off my friends!”

  “He was touching you. I had no choice but to interrupt.”

  I took a step closer. “What do you think this is? A fucking game? I don’t belong to you anymore, Cane. For all you know, I’m free to touch by anyone.”

  His throat bobbed, jaw ticking. “We need to talk somewhere private.”

  I folded my arms. “I don’t think that’s wise. Wouldn’t want to get caught alone with a student, would you? Think of how much it would damage your reputation.”

  Cane grabbed my arm and slid his fingers down the inside of it until it locked around my wrist. “I don’t give a fuck about any of that right now. I’m not leaving until you understand why I’m here. Walk with me.”

  It wasn’t a request. It was going to happen, whether I liked it or not. He clutched my hand and twisted me around with him, leading the way down the hall. We passed several rooms until one became available. This room was darker inside than the rest of them, but the door was unlocked. He pushed it open and walked right in, looking around the corner to make sure it was vacant.

  He shut the door behind us, locking it, then walking to a corner away from the window to get out of plain sight.

  The room smelled like old paper and fresh wood. I took a look around, noticing several shelves, and came to the realization that this was a small library. A small sliver of light poured through the rectangular window above the shelf on the wall left of us, and the milky light revealed every angle and curve of Cane’s face. His strong jaw and chin, the sharpness of his nose, the dip above his upper lip, the smooth forehead, and even the light brown wisps of his eyebrows.

  He looked unreal, ghostly, like a figment of my imagination, and a part of me wondered if I was so delusional that I was dreaming about him right now.

  “I know I have no excuse,” he started. “And I know that whatever I say won’t be enough to justify not communicating with you or reaching out enough. But…my hands have been full, Kandy. I swear it—and not just with Kelly, but with everything. My life took a turn that night your father found out about us and then all of this crazy stuff started happening all at once.” He took a step toward me. I crossed my arms, doing my best to fight whatever emotion was trying to scratch the surface to forgive him.

  “Am I supposed to care?” I grumbled.

  “No. But I’m telling you anyway.” He held my upper arms, leaving me no choice but to meet his eyes. Beneath the moonlight they were shimmery and desperate and my chest tightened out of pity. “I miss the fuck out of you, Kandy. I do. I miss you so much that it’s hard to concentrate some nights. I think about you every damn day, wonder what you’re doing, how you’re doing. I know it’s useless to wonder but it still happens. A lot.”

  I drew my bottom lip in, biting into it, refusing to cave.

  “I just…I wanted you to have a chance at something new. I wanted you to see that there are other options out there besides me. It’s no excuse, I know. We were in muddy waters and still kind of are, but I still should have called to check on you a few times. I just…didn’t feel like it was my place to call anymore. Plus, we promised to move on, right? We agreed.”

  “Yeah, that was before everything went to shit, Cane!” I finally had the strength to pull away. “I was worried sick about you, don’t you realize that? Not only that, but I went through what happened in Georgia alone! I thought that if I didn’t have my parents to talk to about it, I would at least have you to tell me that things would be okay and return to normal, but you didn’t! You weren’t there and that…that hurt me.” My voice cracked, my chest weighed down with every emotion I’d been trying to fight. “I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve cried, wishing you’d call me. Wishing you’d say something to me without making it feel like what we did never happened!”

  He stared at me, eyes hard, still shimmering.

  “I know what we did messed things up. I know that it probably caused a few things to change in your life, but after that one empty call, nothing else, Cane?”

  He opened his mouth to speak, and I waited for the words to pour out, but nothing happened. There was only silence. I huffed a laugh, swiping the stray tears away that’d run down my cheeks.

  “Yeah,” I laughed dryly. “Just keep being quiet. It’s what you’re good at.”

  When he didn’t say anything to that, irritation swallowed me whole. I scoffed, waving my hands in defeat and going for the door. I didn’t have time for his shit.

  “You wasted your time coming here. Just leave me alone.”

  Before I could make it to the door, his hand caught mine and that same hand spun me around. His thick arm locked around my waist and reeled me in to his large body. His head fell down and our mouths were left with no choice but to connect.

  His smooth, warm lips pressed to mine, and I wedged a hand between us, my palm flat on his chest, ready to shove him away, fight him off and pretend I didn’t care, but I was helpless. Stuck. Torn. Caving, slowly but surely.

  This. This wasn’t a dream. It couldn’t be. I could feel him everywhere. This was what I’d missed—what I’d longed for, and it pissed me off knowing it.

  My belly was slowly unknotting, the emotions running through me in a passionate frenzy. I ran my fingers through his hair and over his chest and everywhere else I could grasp. I’d hoped this was real, and not some dream. I’d hoped this was happening, and that he was here and he was mine and that this moment would never end.

  I didn’t care if it was happening in a library full of old books and a silvery moon revealing us.

  There was only us.

  Us. Again.

  I couldn’t believe I’d missed this so much.

  He picked me up in his arms and carried me across the room to a desk. When my bottom landed on it, he shoved himself between my thighs, knocking some of the pens and supplies onto the floor as he placed his palm flat on the desk.

  “Fuck, I’ve missed you,” he rasped on the h
ollow of my neck. His breath was warm and tickled my skin. I wanted his mouth again, so I ducked my head, meshing our lips together and moaning when his tongue skimmed my upper lip and then his mouth claimed mine all over again. The kiss broke once more. We both gasped, in dire need of air.

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he groaned.

  “But you did hurt me,” I whispered back. “When I needed you most.”

  “I know but…fuck. We aren’t good for each other, Kandy.”

  “If you think that,” I breathed on his mouth, “then why come here? Why bother showing up and hoping to see me?”

  He pulled his head back, and drew himself away just enough to look into my eyes. “I don’t know how to forget about you,” he confessed. “I don’t know how to make the memories stop. You were apart of my life for so long and then you just disappeared and I don’t know how to cope with that. I know it didn’t have to be that way but I thought it would be the best way for you too. For all of us. I’m fucking stupid, I know.” His forehead dropped on top of my shoulder and I let out a sigh. He was quiet a moment, a noise forming in his throat, as if hesitant to say what was next. “My sister is back in Atlanta. My mother is out of rehab and living with my sister in an apartment. And my father…he gets out of prison in a month or two.”

  His last sentence caused me to frown. “What?” I gasped, forcing his head up to see his eyes.

  “He sent my sister this fucked up letter,” he went on, jaw flexed. “Said he was coming for my company. I’ve been doing all I can to make sure that he doesn’t come anywhere near it. So much that it has left me with hardly any time to do anything. I’ve got my family back and only get to see them twice a week, if that.”

  “Wow…I—I’m sorry. I didn’t know things had gotten this bad.”

  His lips pressed. “On top of all that shit, there’s Kelly, who won’t back off…but I think I know a way to get her out of the picture.”

  “Really?” I asked, and that made me hopeful. “How?”

  “It will lead me back to my old roots, lots of blackmailing, but I’m willing to do it if it means I’ve gotten her out of my hair for good.”

  “Your old roots?” My brows dipped. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  His chin lifted, eyes cloudy as they bore into mine. “It means that I have a bad past, Kandy, and that I’ve done some fucked up things to get to where I am.”

  I tried to swallow, but the lump was dry going down. “Things like what?”

  “A lot of shit.” He pulled a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Forgive me for not being there for you enough. I’m here now. Let me make it up to you.”

  “Make it up to me how?”

  “I’ll be flying out tomorrow night. Let me take you to lunch or something before that—whatever fits your schedule.”

  I chewed on my bottom lip, weighing my options. We had conditioning tomorrow, but it was only for two hours. After that, Morgan and Gina and I had planned to go to the mall. I could pass on it. Pretend I was sick or something.

  “Okay. Fine. We can do lunch, but you can’t pick me up on campus. I don’t want anyone seeing us. I’ll meet you at the gas station that’s not too far away.”

  “Okay. That’ll work.”

  I couldn’t believe we were still sneaking around, but it would have been strange for my peers to see me getting in the car with an older man. It would cause rumors. Whispers. The last thing I wanted was more fire under mine or Cane’s ass.

  “What if I hadn’t come to the seminar?” I asked.

  He smiled. “I believe there is a reason you did.”

  “But what if I hadn’t?”

  “Then I would have found you. I wasn’t going to leave this state without seeing you first.”

  My heart boomed.

  Bringing his hand up, he cupped one side of my face, and I couldn’t help myself by nuzzling my cheek into his palm and closing my eyes. I missed his touch so much. His cologne and powerful body heat.

  His lips came down on mine, and I think I missed that the most. His gentle, deep, intoxicating kisses. His tongue that teased me until I sighed, and how his mouth always tasted like a trace of spearmint and cigarettes.

  “Seminar will be ending soon. They’ll be looking for me,” he mumbled on my lips.

  “I know.” I’d said it, but my hold tightened around the back of his neck. I didn’t want to let go. Not again.

  He chuckled. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. Did you miss me?”

  “Every fucking day.”

  Another deep chuckle. It hit me right in the core. It was sultry and deep and so damn delicious that I wanted to rip his clothes off and tell him to take me right there. Right now.

  But as eager as I was, I knew we had tomorrow. He had to go. Our time was limited and my friends would start looking for me if I didn’t show.

  He finally found the will to pull away, and I didn’t put up a fight. I dropped my arms, allowing him to stand up straight between my legs. His cock had hardened, digging into the inside of my thigh. “You still know how to drive me crazy.”

  I fought a smile and stroked his chin. It was as smooth as I imagined. “Get back to the seminar. I’ll wait it out here for a while.”

  He blinked a few times, letting out a short sigh. “Tomorrow?”

  “Yes. Tomorrow.”

  He gave me a half smile, then leaned forward to drop a kiss on my forehead. Afterward, he drew back, took a few seconds to collect himself, and then walked to the door. He looked over his shoulder at me, a brief glance, and then he twisted the knob, walking out and going back to the auditorium.

  I watched him go until I could no longer see him through the window, and then I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply and letting it go.

  Hopping off the desk, I walked out of the room. On my way back, I spotted Morgan and Gina by the restroom. Gina turned her head when she heard me coming, relief taking hold of her. “There you are! I thought you fell in the toilet or something, girl! Where’d you go?”

  “Just looking around,” I told her with a shrug. “I’ve never seen this building before. I like the architecture.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Gina nodded, taking a look up at the arched ceiling. “That’s one of the best things about this school. The architecture.” I was glad she took the bait.

  “Yeah, well that program is a big yawn fest. You ladies ready to go?” Morgan asked, turning toward the door. Gina and I nodded and we left, but before we walked out the door, I looked over my shoulder.

  Through it, I could see a corner of the stage. Cane stood there, his hands in front of him, and was looking right out of the door, watching me go.

  I started to smile, but stopped when my eyes dropped down, and I noticed Brody looking at me. His eyes were narrowed as he focused on me for a bit, and then swung his line of vision back to the stage to look at Cane.

  I hurried out of the building and didn’t look back again.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  CANE

  I had no idea what the fuck I was doing.

  I was stupid, yes, but I’d always been a moron when it came to Kandy. When it came to her, my mind ran in circles, like a dog chasing its own tail. It wasn’t smart of me to fly here and take this opportunity just to see her and it damn sure wasn’t smart of me to shorten my speech at the seminar and walk out, just to get the chance to talk to her. Who would have known it would be so easy? That she’d show up in the place I would be?

  When I walked out and saw that boy with his hands on her, my morals went flying out the door. My heart boomed and my fists wanted so badly to clench, or better yet yank him by the collar and shove him away.

  He had his hands on Kandy. My Kandy. That shit didn’t sit well with me at all, so yes, I whisked her off to a room and kissed her in the dark. Yes, I begged for her forgiveness and held her and kissed her. I needed her to remember what was important—that she was always going to be mine and there wasn’t anyone getting in the way of that.
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br />   She’d told me to meet her at noon, and I was parked at the gas station, waiting for her to arrive. I checked the dashboard for the time. 12:34 p.m. Maybe she’d changed her mind.

  Shit, could I blame her? I’d gone weeks without speaking to her. She had plenty of time to forget about me. It may have only been a maximum of eight weeks, but people changed when something bad happened. Hopes failed and dreams crashed like planes and as humans, our only defense is to detach ourselves from the situation.

  Had she detached herself from the idea of me?

  I waited ten more minutes, ready to throw in the towel. I push-started the car and grabbed my phone, about to text her, but then someone knocked on the passenger window.

  “Shit,” I hissed, looking through the window, spotting Kandy on the other side. She was waving with a soft smile. I unlocked the doors and she opened it right away, sliding right in. “Scared the shit out of me,” I told her, chuckling lightly.

  “Oh—sorry!” she snorted.

  “What took you so long?”

  “I had to walk from the opposite side of campus. The walk was longer than I thought.”

  “Well, I’m glad you showed up.”

  She put on a bashful grin. “I’m glad too.”

  I grabbed the wheel with one hand, putting the car in gear with the other. “I thought it would be best to have lunch at my hotel. It’s a little ways from campus, but there shouldn’t be any students there. We can walk through the back to be safe, though. How does that sound?”

  “Good…but I hate that we still have to sneak around. So dumb.” She continued to smile.

  My hotel was a twenty-minute drive away. During it, I could tell she was anxious. I was too nervous to comfort her. Instead, I asked her how her day was going so far—small talk, which I hated doing with her because it didn’t feel right.

  It was fucking with my head. For some reason, after seeing her with that boy in the hallway, I felt like I had to win her back. Fucking ridiculous considering I was a grown-ass man and he was just a boy. It was a petty thought, but it was getting to me. It hit me that yes, she could move on from all of this and I thought I’d wanted her to…until I’d seen her with someone else.