Fighting Back

by Cathy MacPhail

  The neighbours’ eyes moved to Sandra for an answer.

  She leapt forward. ‘My friends know me better than that. I might punch you in the face, but I wouldn’t do it behind your back.’

  Then Sandra turned her attention to me. ‘Should you not be taking care of your wee lassie?’ she said coldly. Her voice was shaking. ‘Ha! But I forgot. You can hardly take care of yourself.’

  That took the fight out of my mother. She allowed herself to be half carried, half dragged, into Mr McCurley’s flat.

  Chapter Nineteen

  We were still there, drinking tea, when the police arrived. Sergeant Maitland and PC Grant – did they never go off duty? Even in shock, I was glad I had been sleeping in my lilac silk pyjamas rather than the flannelette nightdress old Auntie Jenny had got me for Christmas.

  Sergeant Maitland crouched down in front of Mum.

  ‘The firemen say you’re right, Mrs Graham. Someone did start that fire deliberately. It seems someone doused some rags in flammable liquid, set them alight and pushed them through your door. We’ve found an empty kerosene can on the stairs.’

  Mum gasped. ‘And I know whose fingerprints you’ll find on it!’ she shouted.

  His voice was soft. ‘That was a very serious allegation you made out there.’

  ‘It was the truth,’ Mum insisted. ‘After everything that’s happened, you must believe me now. I want her charged.’

  He drew in his breath. ‘The thing is – she says you’re the one who should be charged.’

  Mum almost exploded at that. ‘Me! Charged? After what I’ve been through?’ She reached out suddenly and hugged me tight to her. I began to choke. ‘After what we’ve been through! She has the cheek to want me charged?’ All at once, she stopped, puzzled. ‘Charged with what?’

  He hesitated, as if he was afraid to tell her. ‘Mrs Ramsay thinks you might have started the fire yourself.’

  Whoops! Big mistake. Wrong thing to say. Mum was off again. She jumped from her chair and almost sent the Sergeant, still crouching, flying across the floor.

  ‘I started a fire? Risked my life, my daughter’s life? Nonsense. How can she say that? Why? Tell me that. Why would I do such a thing?’

  ‘You did manage to put the fire out yourself.’

  ‘Just as well. No one else was going to do it for me, were they?’

  ‘And you were heard to say you’d do anything to get out of here. All the neighbours can verify that.’

  And suddenly I understood the look I had seen in their eyes. It was suspicion. Suspicion that Mum had started the fire. But after everything that had happened to us, how could they even think such a thing?

  I jumped to her defence. ‘That’s stupid. What would be the point of her doing that?’

  The Sergeant shrugged. ‘Maybe two birds with one stone. You get your own back on Mrs Ramsay – ’

  ‘I don’t care tuppence for Mrs Ramsay!’ Mum snapped at him.

  ‘– and you’d be rehoused. Fire-damaged property.’

  I saw Mum straighten, suddenly quiet.

  ‘We’ll be looking into the whole matter,’ Sergeant Maitland said, ‘but for the moment –’

  Mum interrupted him. ‘And will I?’

  ‘What? Be charged?’ There was almost a smile on his face. As if he wanted to reassure her not to worry.

  She brushed that aside. ‘No. No. Will I be rehoused?’

  His almost-smile disappeared. All the warmth and sympathy went from his voice. ‘No, Mrs Graham. You will not be rehoused. Workmen will be up tomorrow to repair any damage. There’s already a new door fitted temporarily. So, for the moment,’ there was a distinct coldness in his tone, ‘you’re stuck here.’

  ‘You don’t seem to be considering the most obvious possibility,’ I shouted. ‘The Laffertys!’ I was angry. Angry that Mum was even a suspect.

  The Sergeant looked straight at me. ‘You’re right, Kerry. A distinct possibility. A fire like this is a notorious way of warning people to either shut up or get out.’

  ‘Then why are you accusing me?’ Mum began.

  The Sergeant touched her arm. ‘The Laffertys will have cast-iron alibis. No one will have seen them. No one ever does. And there will be no fingerprints for us to find.’

  ‘All because of that silly incident in the shop? No!’ Mum wouldn’t be convinced.

  The Sergeant shook his head. ‘And today young Tess Lafferty received word she’s to appear in front of the children’s panel because of that “silly incident”. Bit of a coincidence, don’t you think?’

  I waited until the police had gone before I asked her. ‘Just promise me it wasn’t you, Mum?’ I had to say it, though I knew it was impossible. But I knew too how desperate she was.

  There was a hurt look on her face when she answered me. Et tu, Brute? she said. I hadn’t a clue what she was talking about. She was obviously in shock. However, I took that as a ‘no’.

  In spite of the fact that Mum might be an arsonist, Mr McCurley offered to put us up for the night, which I thought was very generous of him. Mum refused curtly. ‘I don’t need any help from any of you!’ she snapped.

  She was being unreasonable and stupid, but in a way I couldn’t blame her. I couldn’t sleep thinking about what might have happened if we hadn’t woken up in time, if Mum hadn’t been able to put out the fire.

  I wanted it to be Sandra who was responsible. I would even have preferred it to be Mum.

  But if it was the Laffertys … then just how far would they go?

  Chapter Twenty

  Mum just couldn’t come to terms with the fire. For the next couple of days she lay on our couch, drinking tea. The television had almost broken her, the fire had finished the job. The Laffertys had won.

  All she wanted was out of here.

  ‘If your father was here, we could go to him. After all, it’s your safety I’m thinking about. Only for him, you wouldn’t be here – it’s all his fault anyway.’

  ‘It’s not, Mum,’ I tried to tell her. ‘It’s the Laffertys. That’s the only people who are to blame. If you have to blame someone, blame them!’

  That only made her angry. ‘Oh, of course, don’t say a bad word about your wonderful father!’ The same conversation over and over again. Always finishing with: ‘It was her next door that started that fire.’

  But it wasn’t. Ming assured me of that.

  ‘What are we going to do, Ming?’

  ‘It’s over, Kerry,’ he answered. There was even a hopelessness in Ming’s voice I didn’t understand.

  It was as if something really awful was hanging over us. I had never felt so depressed in all my life.

  Our door was mended. They even sent people to clean the flat for us. But nothing helped. Mum still lay along the couch, her eyes rimmed with red, never changing out of her dressing-gown. It was me who had to go to Ali’s for anything we needed. It was me who had to venture out, even though I was terrified I might bump into the Laffertys. Mum couldn’t do anything except cry, and blame Dad for everything that had gone wrong for us.

  I prayed every night for Dad to come back for us. I missed him, wanted to talk to him so much. He had always been there for me, a tower of strength whenever I needed him. He wasn’t here now, and I needed him more than ever. I almost felt like throwing darts at his picture too.

  Then one day I came in from school and there was Mum on the couch with the duvet cover pulled up around her.

  ‘You’ll have to go down to Ali’s. We need milk, and something for the tea,’ she murmured.

  All at once I decided I wasn’t going to take it any more. I sat in the chair across from her. ‘No,’ I said.

  She turned to me very slowly. ‘What?’

  ‘I said no. Why didn’t you go down and get something? You’ve been in all day.’

  ‘I’m never going out there again, unless it’s to leave this place.’

  ‘But I have to go, is that it? I have to go out and risk seeing the Laffertys, is that it?’

/>   She waved her hands about to shut me up. She didn’t want to talk about it. But I did.

  ‘I don’t care what you do,’ she said.

  ‘I know that,’ I shouted at her. ‘As long as you can lie in here and lock yourself away, you don’t care what happens to me!’

  She suddenly sprang into life. ‘I tell you what! Why don’t you run back to your daddy? I’m sure he’ll cook up a nice meal for you.’

  ‘He always did!’ I yelled. And it was true. How often could I remember Dad coming in and him and me in the kitchen making a meal? He was a good cook. Had he only learned because Mum wouldn’t?

  ‘Well, just pop over to America and live with him – I hope the swim across doesn’t tire you out,’ she snapped at me viciously.

  ‘I wish I could,’ I screamed at her. I was crying now. Couldn’t stop myself. ‘He wanted me to.’

  ‘I wish you had.’ She was crying too. ‘And you seem to forget something, Kerry – I’m the one that stayed with you! I might not be your wonderful father, but I didn’t leave you.’

  ‘I didn’t leave you either, Mum. I stayed with you!’

  At that moment the doorbell rang.

  Through her tears Mum shouted, ‘If that’s anyone complaining about our shouting at each other, I’ll kill them!’

  I opened the door to find Mrs Ramsay standing there, looking very uneasy. Lucky it was me opening the door. If it had been Mum, Sandra would have gone bouncing headlong down the stairs. I stared at her in surprise.

  ‘Mrs Ramsay.’ I swallowed, then whispered, ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘I want to speak to your mother.’ And she was pushing past me and thundering into our living-room. The room was a mess, I was never so aware of it until now. Cushions scattered everywhere, dishes lying on the floor, clothes draped over furniture. Mum had never been quite as bad as this. I began lifting things and stuffing them under cushions as soon as I followed Sandra in.

  ‘Who was it, Kerry?’ Mum asked. She had her back to us, wiping her eyes with a tea-towel.

  ‘It’s me, and I’ve come here with the best intentions, so hear me out!’

  Mum sprang round and almost made a leap at Sandra. I ran towards her and held her. ‘Please, Mum. Listen.’

  ‘Listen to her? She should be in jail for what she did!’

  ‘Look, hen. I know it wasn’t you who started the fire … everybody knows that.’

  Mum wouldn’t even give her the chance to finish. ‘Because you know it was you who did it!’

  Sandra shook with indignation. ‘It was not me! Will you listen, woman!’ She took a deep breath. ‘It was the Laffertys. They’ve been warning you to do what they tell you. And you’d better listen this time. It’s not worth getting on the wrong side of them. You must know that now.’

  It must have taken Sandra a lot of courage to come in and tell us that. I had a feeling no one was supposed to mention that the Laffertys were responsible for the fire.

  ‘If you know it was the Laffertys, why don’t you tell the police?’

  ‘I keep well back from the police, and on the right side of Ma Lafferty – it’s the only way up here. Can you not see that?’

  ‘All this because of that day in Ali’s shop?’ Mum still couldn’t take that in. ‘I don’t believe it!’

  ‘She won’t let anybody hurt her family. And she likes people to know who’s boss, toe the line. And since this all started she’s been really vicious. For everybody’s sake you have to just drop it!’

  Something about the way Sandra said this, and the little bead of sweat on her lip, made me wonder even more if something had happened.

  It was the wrong thing to say. Mum straightened. ‘Oh, I see, so all this has nothing to do with Kerry and me. You couldn’t care less what happened to us!’ She paused. ‘Been threatening you too, has she?’

  And I knew by the way Sandra’s eyes widened that that was just what had happened. Mum didn’t seem to notice.

  Now it was Sandra’s turn to be angry. ‘Look, we’ve all got to live up here, so stick to the rules and everything will be all right.’

  ‘The rules being, do what the Laffertys say! They might be your rules, but they’re certainly not mine!’

  Was that my mum who had just said that? I looked at her, and there was a fire in her eyes – a fire that had almost been extinguished with the other one.

  Sandra turned from us. ‘I knew you wouldn’t listen. Well, on your head be it.’ And she stormed down our hallway and slammed the door so hard the whole flat shuddered.

  Mum walked to the balcony and looked out over the river. She covered her face with her hands and I could hear her breathing hard. She was going to cry again. And I didn’t know if I could take any more tears. Yet in a way I was relieved.

  We were going to do what the Laffertys wanted. Become just like everybody else. What else could we do if we were to survive here?

  ‘Can people really be that bad?’ she said softly, to herself, not to me. ‘This whole estate is terrified of that one family. They want us to be afraid too. We have been afraid.’ She turned to me. ‘Haven’t we, Kerry?’

  I nodded.

  At last, she’d realized just how bad the Laffertys were. She was giving in. What was the point of fighting it any longer?

  ‘She won’t let anybody hurt her family, this Ma Lafferty.’ Mum looked at me, and a little tear appeared at the corner of her eye. She wiped it away with her fist. ‘When I think of what could have happened to you in that fire. I’ve been awful these past days, haven’t I?’

  I couldn’t argue with that.

  ‘I’ve felt so useless, so helpless. She won’t let anybody hurt her family, this Ma Lafferty. She’s probably a better mother than I am then.’

  ‘NO!’ I shouted. ‘She’s horrible.’

  She closed her eyes, then she shook her head. What was going on in there, I wondered?

  Suddenly she lifted her head high. ‘Well, she’s going to find out that here’s another mother who won’t let anybody hurt her family. We’ve been pushed up against the wall, and there’s nowhere left for us to go. They think it means they’ve won. They almost had, Kerry. But now – now we have no choice. Now we’ve got to turn, and start fighting back. We’re not going to be victims any longer, Kerry. I’m going to get them for starting that fire. If it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to get them.’

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I thought, I hoped, that by next morning she would have forgotten all about what she’d said last night. I could even have taken her lying along the couch again.

  By next morning, however, she was ready to begin her investigations in earnest.

  ‘What are you going to do, Mum?’ I asked. I was almost afraid to leave her alone. There was no telling what she would get up to.

  She whipped a notebook from her pocket. ‘I’m going to ask questions, Kerry.’

  ‘No one is going to tell you anything,’ I reminded her.

  ‘I’ll be very discreet,’ she said. ‘They won’t even know I’m asking questions. It’s amazing what people tell you when they’re off guard.’

  She’d been reading too many detective stories. But still, I had to admire her. This was so much better than sitting in the house day after day.

  ‘I’ll ask questions too,’ I said quickly, before I could change my mind. ‘I’ll ask Ming’s pals, the children round here. They see everything and they’re not so scared to talk.’

  She beamed from ear to ear. ‘Me, Sherlock Holmes. You … ’ she hesitated. ‘Oh, bother, I can’t remember his name, but he was a doctor.’

  I did ask Ming later that day when I came back from school. He was standing round the door of the Wee Hippy with his friends. They were all getting stuck into chips.

  ‘Not you as well!’ he said as soon as I asked him if he had seen anything suspicious on the day of the fire. ‘Your maw has been driving everybody batty today. Going round the doors, demanding they tell her what they saw!’

  Oh dea
r, I thought, and she was going to be so discreet.

  ‘At least she’s not sitting in the house, scared!’ I told him.

  His eyes narrowed. ‘My maw’s not scared!’

  And I wondered again what had happened. Something was going on with Ming’s mother. ‘I didn’t mean your mother, I meant mine. Is everything all right, Ming?’

  He snapped back at me and I was sorry for my concern. ‘Of course it is. What’s it to you?’

  ‘Absolutely nothing. I don’t care. I only want to know if anybody saw anything on the night of the fire.’

  One of his pals, the littlest one, leaned forward. He looked as if someone had sprayed freckles across his nose. ‘Kerry, hen – see, if the whole of the flats had seen the Laffertys carrying up a box of dynamite to your door, they wouldn’t say a word. So don’t ask.’

  I shook my head. ‘I don’t understand how you can all be so afraid of them.’ I looked at Ming, deciding I would appeal to his manhood. ‘You, Ming – you’re not afraid of anybody – did you see anything?’

  Ming’s eyes couldn’t meet mine. He screwed up what was left of his chips and aimed the paper at a wall. ‘Forget it, Kerry,’ he said, and he was off running, pulling his pals behind him.

  Mum had even less luck. Hardly anybody would even talk to her, and when they did they usually threatened her with grievous bodily harm.

  ‘I won’t give up, Kerry. I’ve only just begun.’

  ‘People did see something, Mum. I know it. They’re just too afraid to say.’

  She nodded and sighed. ‘If only there was something that could unite them against the Laffertys.’

  If only.

  It was after seven and just as we were clearing up the tea dishes Sandra’s television went on full blast.

  ‘Oh, no, not again!’ Mum clapped her hands to her ears. ‘That is ridiculous!’ She banged on the wall a few times, but to no avail. The television still blasted away. ‘Right, I’m going next door. I’ll tell her!’