My Give a Damn's Busted

by Carolyn Brown

  Six hands were raised.

  The door opened and three people squeezed inside the Honky Tonk. A woman in a black power suit, blond hair cut chin length, and a leather briefcase. One of the two men had a bald head and looked vaguely familiar to Larissa. She frowned as she tried to remember where she’d seen him but it quickly turned to a grin when she looked beyond him and saw Hank.

  His black hair was feathered back and she imagined she could smell Stetson all the way across the room. She smiled and he bent his head ever so slightly.

  “Okay, then,” she said. “This place is packed and I don’t know some of you folks, so if Hayes Radner is here, we’ll give him the floor to make his offers.” She left her spot and sat down in a chair on the front row with Betty on one side and Sharlene on the other.

  The three people who’d walked in at the last minute made their way to the front. The woman and man stood behind the table and Hank propped a hip at the front of the table.

  Larissa looked up at him. “What are you doing?”

  He looked straight ahead. If he looked into her brown eyes he wouldn’t be able to utter a single word. “Hello, everyone. Some of you know me because you are regulars in the Honky Tonk. Some of you I’ve never met. I’d like to introduce myself, my mother, and our assistant. The man behind me is Wayne Johnston. He’s the one who’s been making most of the calls in an effort to buy your land. My mother, Victoria Radner, has had her heart set on owning this place for several years and has investors ready to put their money into an amusement park. I am Henry Hayes Radner Wells,” he said.

  Larissa shot up like a bottle rocket. “You are who?”

  Hank’s face was hardened steel. “You heard me. And I’m here to say that my mother and Wayne will still buy whatever land any of you are willing to sell at ten percent over today’s market price for land with the hopes that it will have the domino effect and others will sell if you do.”

  “But we thought you were going to pay millions,” an older lady said from the back of the room.

  Victoria stood up and spoke. “We have made our offer. We would have paid ten times what it was worth to have the Honky Tonk, but the rest of the land will be bought at ten percent over market. That’s quite an offer in today’s repressed market. I will be more than glad to have Wayne draw up intent to sell papers today. Are you sure you won’t sell me this godforsaken place, Miz Morley?”

  Larissa shot icy daggers at the woman. Larissa had seen her type before—every time Doreen came home to Perry from one of her trips. “It will be a cold day in hell, madam, when I sell this beer joint to anyone. Why are you so dead set on having it anyway? It could easily be outside your amusement park.”

  “Personal reasons. I will burn it to the ground and concrete the whole area for a parking lot for my amusement park,” Victoria said coldly.

  “Well, for personal reasons I would burn it before I sold it to you,” Larissa said.

  “Must be the place. Makes bitches out of everyone who owns it,” Victoria said.

  “That’s enough, Mother,” Hank said.

  Larissa turned on him. “This is between me and your mother. You keep your two cents in your pocket. Now…” she spun back around to face Victoria. “You don’t know me and you didn’t know Daisy or Cathy. I don’t know about Ruby Lee, but I can vouch the rest of us are loudmouthed and brassy. But we are not bitches. You are in my place of business so you’d do well to watch your tongue.”

  “If you have business to discuss with my mother, feel free to come forward. I’m leaving now.” Hank was exasperated. It all made sense now. Owning the Honky Tonk would be a slap in Henry’s face.

  Shock and anger hit Larissa in slow motion. “You bastard,” she whispered to Hank.

  “Don’t call my son that!” Victoria fired up for a second round. She didn’t care if it was an audience or that she’d lost her frosty business shell. She was in the wretched Honky Tonk, the place Ruby Lee owned.

  Larissa glared at her. “I guess it’s not appropriate since you and his father were married. I take it back, Hank. You are a son-of-a-bitch and that’s irrefutable.”

  “I’m not interested in ten percent above market. I’ll keep my land,” Delores Wilson said. “Come on, Mavis. Let’s go home.”

  “I’m sorry,” Hank said softly. He longed to reach out and touch Larissa, to hold her and apologize with more than two words. She hadn’t asked for any of this. He should have listened to his heart and now it was too late.

  “Sorry?” Larissa raised her voice. “You have deceived me and all you’ve got to say is sorry!”

  “I’m going home, Mother. You and Wayne can take care of this,” he said. “A word outside, please, Larissa.”

  “Oh, you’ll get a word, all right.” She marched resolutely to the door without looking back to see if he was following.

  Victoria turned to Wayne. “This was a big waste of my time. What in the hell is going on here and why is my son going outside with that woman?”

  “That’s Larissa Morley and I guess they’ve gotten acquainted over the last month,” he said.

  “Well, he can damn sure get unacquainted. When it matters the most, he is too much like his father.” She looked around the Honky Tonk. “What is it about this shabby place that draws men? It’s nothing but a shack with a neon sign. Let’s go home and start looking for another place for our investors to put their money.”

  “I reckon that would be a good idea, ma’am,” Luther said.

  Victoria shot looks at the big man that would have frozen anyone. “Who are you?”

  Luther didn’t flinch at the icy glare. “I’m the bouncer in this place and I reckon you and your son have stirred up enough trouble in town for a lifetime. You got your answer once and for all. Don’t be comin’ around no more.”

  “What happened to Tinker?” Victoria asked.

  “Retired. He wouldn’t like you any better than I do.”

  “That would make us even. I didn’t like him either.” Victoria huffed as she picked up her briefcase and headed for the door with Wayne Johnston behind her like a pet pig on a leash.

  “What’d Tinker ever do to you?” Luther asked.

  “That is none of your business.” She threw over her shoulder.

  ***

  Larissa stomped all the way to the garage behind the beer joint. So he wanted a word? Well, she’d give him enough words to burn the hair out of his ears for the next twenty years. If he wanted just one word she’d have to hyphenate it because all she could think of in a single word was drop-dead.

  “Stop! Talk to me, Larissa,” he raised his voice.

  “You don’t get to tell me what to do,” she yelled and kept going until they were behind the garage. Then she turned around, popped her hands on her hips, and shot poisonous darts from her brown eyes. How could she have been so deceived? Hank was Hayes. She should have seen it from the beginning. Henry should have told her. She should have asked him for more details when she was out there hauling hay. A million thoughts tumbled through her mind and all she could get a hold on was the one that said she’d been such a fool to fall for him.

  “Larissa, I wanted to tell you who I really am but it all got out of hand and…”

  He paused and looked at her so bewildered that she might have felt sorry for him if she hadn’t been so mad.

  “…and what, Hank? Or is it Hayes now that you are wearing a custom tailored suit and dress shoes instead of jeans and boots? Was any of it real or was it all just a game to see if you could find out something about me that you could use to make me sell the Honky Tonk? And why in the hell is it so important that you have it?” Her tone was pure ice without a drop of warmth in it.

  “I couldn’t tell you because it was real. You’re right. I wanted to get to know you so I could find out if you had a weakness. Neither Daisy nor Cathy did but there was that possibility and Mother has been trying to buy the Honky Tonk for years. Every scheme she could come up with and every owner was a new challenge
. It’s her one obsession. It was my job and I didn’t intend to fall for you but I did and I couldn’t tell you,” he said.

  She looked up at black clouds rolling in from the southwest. An omen for sure that she’d made bad decisions and the storm they would bring would be disastrous. “Go away. I’m too mad to talk.”

  “Can I call you and we can discuss it more later when you aren’t mad?” he whispered.

  “No,” she said bluntly.

  “I’ll give you a couple of days to think and try anyway,” he said.

  “Just leave. Don’t call and don’t ever show your face in my beer joint again. Good-bye, Hank or Hayes, whoever the hell you are. I don’t even know you.” She turned to watch the storm. She couldn’t watch him leave. She couldn’t let him stay. All of it hurt too damn bad to bear.

  “You knew Hank better than anyone ever has,” he said. Walking away from her without holding her in his arms, burying his face in her hair, and tasting her lips was the hardest thing he’d ever done.

  When she was sure he was gone, she slid down the back of the garage and hid her face in her hands. Cars and trucks left the parking lot but she didn’t hear them. Everything was obliterated by one sentence that played over and over again: “I’m Henry Hayes Radner Wells.”

  The gaping hole in her chest where her heart had been that morning was a yawning abyss filled to the brim with pain. She’d never felt so alone in her life. Sharlene sat down beside her and threw an arm around her shoulders. She didn’t say a single word, which Larissa appreciated more than all the speeches in the universe.

  Larissa wanted to cry. She wanted to cuss, rant, and rave like a lunatic, throw things, kick holes in the garage, yank up mesquite trees by the roots and throw them all the way to Dallas at the almighty Radner Corporation. But none of it would come out; it stayed inside and ate at her soul like fiery acid.

  ***

  Hank got into his black BMW and laid his head on the steering wheel. He’d made the biggest mistake of his life. He should have told her before the meeting and then left the whole thing to his mother and Wayne. He’d handled it in the most juvenile, stupid way possible and he felt like the fool that he was.

  He looked up when he felt a presence in the open window. Hoping to see Larissa, even if she was still angry, he turned his head to find Luther’s big round face not ten inches from him.

  “That was one dim-witted stunt,” Luther said.

  Hank nodded. “Yes, it was.”

  “Rissa has been my friend since the first time I set foot in this place. I thought you were a stand-up man. I was wrong. You get this one on the house. You show up here again, I will wipe this parking lot up with your sorry hide. Understood?” Luther said seriously.

  “I didn’t mean to hurt her, Luther. I didn’t plan on the deer hitting my truck. I damn sure didn’t plan on falling for her,” he admitted.

  “Sometimes it’s too late to do what you should’ve done from the beginning. Guess you’ve learned a tough lesson. Still don’t give you any right to come sniffing around, though, so go on back to Dallas and let her heal. You done her dirty. I shouldn’t give you another chance but I believe you.”

  When Luther moved Merle was right behind him. “I knew it. You are just a drugstore cowboy. She deserves the real McCoy. What are you going to do about this, Hank or whoever the hell you are?”

  “There’s not much I can do. I goofed. I’ll take my pride and my mistakes and leave her alone. Take care of her,” he said hoarsely and hit the button to roll the window up.

  Merle shook her head from side to side and scanned the parking lot for Larissa. As Hank pulled out of the parking lot, she headed toward the garage. She found Larissa with her head in her hands and Sharlene sitting beside her.

  Sharlene touched her fingers to her lips. Merle sat down on the other side, took Larissa’s hand in hers, and waited.

  Thoughts darted through Larissa’s mind like feisty children on a school playground at recess—with no intention of slowing down or staying put long enough for her to get a handle on them. One second she was angry, the next sad. But when it boiled down to the kernel of the matter, she was bewildered.

  What right do you have to be mad at him other than he made a complete fool out of you? You weren’t up-front and honest with him either. But my dishonesty wouldn’t have hurt him like his did me. So he’s Hank Wells in Palo Pinto County and he’s Hayes Radner in Dallas. Two people. That’s what I am. I like Larissa Morley and she’s happy here in Mingus. So happy that I’d almost forgot about that other one.

  Crying was a sign of weakness and she would not be weak. She’d found her niche in life in a peaceful community and in the Honky Tonk. She would not let one crazy day or one cowboy destroy all that she’d discovered. She was Larissa Morley all the time now. He was Hayes Radner for the next eleven months. Those two people didn’t know each other and wouldn’t like each other if they did.

  It was over.

  She raised her head, swallowed twice, and said, “Let’s go drink a beer and get ready to open up the Honky Tonk tonight. We’re going to have a record number tonight. The saints will be joining the sinners just to talk about Hank Wells turning out to be Hayes Radner.”

  “That’s my girl,” Merle said.

  The Honky Tonk parking lot was empty and the beer joint as quiet as a tomb when the three women trooped inside. Merle and Larissa sat on bar stools and Sharlene popped the tops off three beers. She tipped hers up and gulped down a third of it before she came up for air with a healthy burp.

  Words exploded from Sharlene’s mouth like a bull let loose from a chute at a rodeo. “God Almighty that shocked the shit right out of me. Who’d have thought Hank was Hayes. Guess Hank was named for his dad, Henry, and got tagged with the nickname. I thought for sure he would be the cowboy that would carry you off on a big white horse. All goes to show what I know. I’d do better to write fiction. Maybe I will start that book, Larissa. This is horrible. Can I do anything to make it better?”

  Larissa shook her head.

  “Well, I told you he wasn’t a real cowboy. I was about to amend my decision there toward the end and think my first impression wasn’t right but I won’t doubt myself no more,” Merle said.

  “Thank you both for your support.” Larissa tilted the bottle up but had trouble swallowing even the smallest sip of beer. Her cell phone rang and she flipped it open.

  “Hello,” she said.

  “Larissa, I can’t think of anything but how sorry I am,” Hank said.

  “Wait a minute,” she said.

  “Hank?” Sharlene mouthed.

  Larissa nodded and motioned toward the cash register. “Hand me a dollar bill.”

  Hank yelled into the phone. “Larissa, are you there?”

  “I said for you to wait a minute,” she said coldly.

  She fed the money into the jukebox and hit the right buttons. Jo Dee Messina’s voice came through singing “My Give a Damn’s Busted.”

  “Listen to every word and then hang up. I don’t want to hear anything you’ve got to say. Don’t call. Don’t come around. I don’t ever want to see or hear from you again.” She laid the phone down on the top of the jukebox and went back to her beer.

  When the song ended she waited a few seconds before going back to the jukebox and picking up the phone again. “I guess he got the message. He’s gone.”

  “That song is perfect,” Sharlene said.

  “There’s a country song for every mood or problem in the world,” Merle said. “Like George Strait and Alan Jackson sing about in that one about murder being committed on music row. George says that nobody wants to listen to them old drinkin’ and cheatin’ songs. Well, if they would, they’d hear life being sung. I got to go home, girls. Y’all need me, you call. I’ll be back here in a little bit. You want me to put out a contract on him?” Merle finished off her beer.

  “No, he ain’t worth it,” Larissa lied with tears flowing down her cheeks.

  “Go ahead
and cry. Get it out and over with,” Merle said.

  “He’s not worth it,” Larissa repeated even though she didn’t believe a word of it.

  Hank Wells was worth it but Hayes Radner had taken over her cowboy. She’d fallen for Hank Wells who was trustworthy and decent. He was kind and sweet. Hayes Radner was a different man. What she knew about him, she didn’t like.

  Chapter 12

  Larissa peeked out the fish-eye in the hotel door, sighed, and opened it. She’d hoped for half an hour to get ready for her mother but she was there and she had no choice.

  She slung open the door and stood to one side. “Hello, Mother.”

  Doreen flowed into the room with the grace of a seasoned ballerina. She stopped to air kiss Larissa on the cheek and kept going until she reached the overstuffed recliner beside the window. She sat down, crossed one leg over the other, and smiled. “You look like hell. Only a man can make a woman look so horrid. What’s his name?”

  “And you look like your usual young, lovely self.” Larissa picked up a bottle of expensive water from the top of the entertainment system, twisted the top off, and downed half of it. Her mother’s red hair was short this time and framed her perfectly oval face in springy curls. Crow’s feet were beginning to play around her eyes. Was that bit of flesh under her chin a wee bit saggy? Oh, dear, was Doreen going to look her age?

  “Don’t be bitchy with me because you’ve got man problems, darlin’,” Doreen said in her sweetest Southern accent.

  Larissa blushed at her unkind thoughts. “Sorry, Mother. How was your trip?”

  Doreen’s smile was brilliant. “Lovely. And I can’t wait until you meet Rupert, but we’ll save conversation about him until later. Please tell me you’ve given up this crazy notion of living in a pigsty and you’ve gone back to Perry where you belong.”

  “Can’t. It would be a lie and besides, I like my pigsty. The mud is warm and the food trough is always full,” Larissa answered.

  Doreen sighed.

  “I painted my house turquoise with hot pink and yellow trim. It reminds me of those in the islands,” Larissa said. “I brought a picture of it and the Honky Tonk.”