My Give a Damn's Busted

by Carolyn Brown

  On Wednesday morning Sharlene called her parents and told them she’d be home for Christmas, good lord willing and if the creek didn’t rise. Merle called Larissa to pout that there was no way she was going to drive south to Angel and Garrett’s ranch. Luther couldn’t get out of Texas to take Tessa home to meet his family in Ardmore, Oklahoma. Larissa’s pilot canceled all chartered flights for the rest of the week.

  They opened the Honky Tonk that night. Luther and Tessa were there because Luther drove them in the tow truck. Four of them sat at a table and talked about the unfairness of the weather until ten o’clock. Then Sharlene jumped up and grabbed her cell phone.

  “Hello, Merle. You got a turkey in your freezer? You do! Great! I’m having Thanksgiving dinner at the Honky Tonky on Thursday at noon. I’ll send Luther for you and turkey and cornbread dressing at noon. Call Tinker and tell him if he can get into town he’s welcome to come eat with us,” she said.

  “Now you call Linda, Betty, and Janice and tell them to bring something to our dinner. There ain’t no way their kids are going to get here. They might as well join us. And call Hank. Tell him to bring Henry and Oma,” Sharlene said.

  “You are a genius,” Tessa said. “Get some paper and a pencil. Put me down for pecan pies and sweet potato casserole. We’ll push the tables all up together.”

  “I make the best damn ham in Oklahoma. I’ll bring it,” Luther said.

  Sharlene tossed her phone at Larissa. “Hank first.”

  She dialed the familiar number. It was on the tenth ring when Hank finally answered. “Larissa, what are you doing calling at this time of night? Aren’t you at work?”

  “I am but Sharlene has an idea. Since none of us can go home for the holiday we’re having Thanksgiving in the Honky Tonk. I know Oma will make dinner there but…” she paused.

  “Are you inviting us to your dinner at the Tonk?” he asked.

  “I am.”

  “Let me ask Oma and Dad. Can I get back with you in a few minutes?”

  “That’ll be fine.”

  Sharlene reached for the phone. “You call Janice. I’ll take Linda and Tessa can call Betty. List is right here.” She laid a yellow note pad and pen on the table.

  Twenty minutes later the list was growing. Janice offered to bring hot rolls and baked beans and was grateful that she didn’t have to do a full-fledged meal for two people. Betty said to put her down for pumpkin pies, chocolate cake, and potato casserole. Linda had planned on a big family to-do and had all the paper goods plus decorations and would bring broccoli casserole, green beans, and pumpkin gooey cake.

  Hank called back to tell her that Henry said they could put the chains on the four wheel drive truck. And Oma wanted to know what to bring.

  “Anything she wants to fix,” Larissa said. “Looks like we’ve got about sixteen lined up right now. It’ll be fun. We plan on eating at noon, so start early and drive slow.”

  “Do I have to leave early and drive slow?” he asked.

  “You could stay late and not drive at all,” she teased.

  “Wooo who!” Tessa raised both arms and did a jig on the dance floor.

  Hank laughed. “It’ll be nice to spend the day with you.”

  “Same back at you,” Larissa said and flipped the phone shut. “Let’s close it up, folks. Ain’t no need in sitting here until two and we won’t open tomorrow night. Weatherman says it’s not going to melt until Friday. Ain’t that the shits?”

  “If there’s anything worse than shit, then that’s what it is. But now I’m looking forward to the day at least. I was dreading spending it all alone,” Sharlene said.

  “You and I would have had bologna sandwiches if nothing else,” Larissa said. Her stomach lurched at the thought of putting a bologna sandwich in her mouth. She hoped she wasn’t getting the flu right when they’d figured out a way to have a nice family dinner.

  “Yuck,” Sharlene snarled her nose.

  Tessa bundled up in a wool lined denim duster and Luther ushered her out the door. They waved and said they’d have Merle there by noon on Thursday and if the weather got worse to call and they’d make trips in the tow truck to get the rest of the guests.

  “You might as well stay here tonight. You can have my bed and I’ll take the sofa,” Sharlene said. “Ain’t no way Hank is going to heat up your bed anyway.”

  Larissa shook her head. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll drive very slow. It’s not that far and I feel like I’m coming down with the flu. I’m going home and drinking lemon tea until it passes. I sure don’t want to give it to you.”

  Sharlene threw up her arms in a cross. “Get thee behind me, devil woman. I don’t want to be sick right here when we’ve got a wonderful meal all planned out.”

  Larissa picked up her coat from the back of her chair and started across the dance floor. Everything started spinning and she had to grab the doorjamb to keep from falling on her face.

  “You all right?” Sharlene called out.

  “Got a head rush when I got up. It’s that blasted flu. If I’m sick on Thanksgiving I’m going to cry.”

  “Go home and get well. If you need anything, call me and I’ll make Luther go get it for you. If you don’t feel like cooking tomorrow I’ll make enough for both of us to contribute to the dinner,” Sharlene said.

  “I might take you up on it if I don’t get to feeling better,” Larissa said. Twice on the way to the garage she had another dizzy spell but they were both very brief. She couldn’t be sick on her first Thanksgiving with Hank.

  The five-minute trip from the Honky Tonk to her house took fifteen minutes with the slick roads and Stallone was meowing at the back door when she pulled up in the driveway.

  “Come on in, old boy. I bet you are cold tonight even with that fur coat. I’ll fix a litter pan and you can stay in the house but don’t expect it every night. Only when it’s cold and miserable outside,” she said. “Besides, I miss Hank. This once a week crap isn’t enough anymore.”

  Stallone darted into the house as soon as she opened the door and went straight for the heater vent. He lay as close as he could get and the look on his face said he’d died and St. Peter had given him the ticket to get past the Pearly Gates.

  Larissa showered, donned a pair of flannel pajamas, and curled up on the sofa with a cup of lemon tea and the remote. She wished it was Saturday night instead of Tuesday. Had it really only been three days since she’d lain in Hank’s arms after they’d made love? It seemed like a month.

  Her cell phone began playing the first bars of “People Are Crazy.” She stuck the remote to her ear and said, “Hello, Mother.” When she realized what she’d done she threw the remote down on the sofa and flipped the phone open and said it again.

  “I was about to leave a message for you to call me later. What is that horrible song that plays before your message machine comes on?” Doreen asked.

  Larissa laughed. She’d forgotten that instead of a message, “My Give a Damn’s Busted,” played after the fourth ring. “I should change it. I put it on there when Hank and I were never going to see each other again.”

  “And that has changed for sure?” Doreen asked.

  “It has. He’s busy in the day and I’m busy at night. That sounds funny, doesn’t it? Sounds like I’m a two-bit hooker.”

  “Well, a beer joint is barely a step up from that,” Doreen said. “I was calling to make Christmas plans. Rupert and I will be in the States. You want to come to Perry?”

  “I’d love to.” Tears welled up in Larissa’s eyes and she had to swallow three times to get the orange-sized lump out of her throat.

  “Bring Hank with you. Bring Henry if he wants to come along. Just let me know so there will be presents under the Christmas tree for everyone.”

  “How about Oma?”

  Doreen hesitated. “Is that your cat?”

  Larissa laughed. “No, it’s the cook, dishwasher, surrogate grandma person who keeps the place running for Henry.”

  “
If it’s not an animal, it’s welcome,” Doreen said. “Got to go. Rupert is pouring wine.”

  “Good-bye, Mother,” Larissa said.

  “Change that horrid message.”

  Stallone’s purring was the only noise in the house until she pushed the power button on the remote and surfed through the channels until she found a late night movie to watch. There wasn’t a bit of sense in going to bed before two thirty. She’d just lie there and try to make sense of the whole situation with Hank and there was no figuring the man out.

  “And they say women are hard to understand,” she mumbled.

  She fell asleep on the sofa and felt wonderful when she awoke the next morning. The lemon tea must have kicked the flu right in its hind end because she had energy and all the dizziness was gone. She dragged down the two cookbooks she’d bought at a garage sale and pored over the gorgeous pictures and recipes.

  Finally, she decided on a three-layered banana nut cake like Rosa would be making in Perry. It would at least bring a bit of home to the Thanksgiving table at the Honky Tonk. She checked ingredients and luckily had everything she needed in the house. By mid afternoon it was made and sitting perfectly on a cake stand she’d bought the same day she’d gotten the cookbooks. She put the glass dome on the top and heated up a can of chicken noodle soup. If there were remnants of a flu bug in her system, surely chicken noodle soup would flush it out.

  Sharlene called a dozen times to tell her what she was making and keep her up-to-date on the other ladies who were making food in their kitchens. Merle was excited because she said that Ruby Lee’s spirit was still in the Honky Tonk and they hadn’t had a holiday together since she died. Janice, Linda, and Betty were happy to be in good company. Luther said the ham had his whole house smelling wonderful and that he and Tessa were arguing over whether to chop pecans or leave them whole for the pies.

  At nine thirty Oma called to say that she’d be bringing chicken and dumplings and peach cobbler, and to thank her for inviting them. “It’s the first time in all the fifty years I’ve been at the ranch that I don’t have to make the big meal. It’s quite a treat for me. And I get to be among all you young people too.”

  “Merle’s not so young,” Larissa said.

  “I met Merle once. I won’t tell her you said that,” Oma said.

  “Thank you,” Larissa said.

  She flipped her phone shut and pulled Stallone up into her lap and suddenly the thought of dough balls floating in chicken broth gagged her. She threw her hand over her mouth and barely made it to the toilet in time. She felt like she’d thrown up her toenails right along with everything else she’d eaten that day.

  Stallone washed his face at the door and waited.

  “It’s back,” she groaned. “I thought we’d kicked it, but it’s back in full force.” She stood up and everything did a couple of spins before it settled down. She gagged when she brushed her teeth and the cold wash cloth felt icy on her skin. “Please not a fever. I don’t want to be sick tomorrow. Nothing about this holiday is working for me. Just don’t let me have fever or I won’t be able to go for fear I’d be contagious.”

  Stallone rubbed around her legs and followed her back to the sofa where she went right to sleep and didn’t wake until morning. She eased one eyelid open and waited. She moved slightly but her stomach didn’t seize up. Very carefully, she stood up and felt wonderful.

  “It’s got to be something I’m eating at night. Lemon tea! I wonder when I developed an allergy to that. I haven’t had it in a couple of years but it looked so good at the supermarket that I bought a box. That has to be the culprit. No more lemon tea, Stallone.” She bent over and petted the cat and didn’t even feel dizzy when she quickly stood up.

  ***

  They spread the tables with plastic tablecloths decorated on the edges with pumpkins and turkeys. Each table had a fold-out centerpiece that was either a turkey or a pumpkin and two gingerbread scented candles glowing brightly. Sharlene had strung orange, green, and brown crepe paper from the ceiling and had votive candles strung up and down the bar.

  Larissa sat on a bar stool and told all four of the women doing the decorating that the place looked like a kindergarten classroom. “But it is beautiful and I’m glad to be here today.”

  Merle and Luther came inside and quickly shut the door against the cold north wind. Luther carried an enormous roaster holding a turkey and dressing. The aroma joined with the others and the whole Honky Tonk smelled like a restaurant.

  “I think it’s all beautiful, no buts about it,” Merle said. “Where’s Hank and Henry? It’s been years since I’ve seen that tall old cowboy. I’m looking forward to visiting with him about Ruby Lee.”

  Sharlene hugged her and then handed her a beer. “He’s on the way. Should be here any minute. Larissa doesn’t want us to notice but she’s been watching the door for an hour.”

  “I have not.”

  “Have not what?” Hank opened the door, let Oma and Henry inside, and then shut it behind him. “You have not what?”

  Sharlene went to take the casserole dish from Henry. “She’s been watching for you and getting antsy. You know what that means?”

  Hank nodded. “That she’s hungry.”

  “That she’s going to throw rocks at you on the playground during recess. I think she might like you,” Sharlene said. “The curse of the Honky Tonk has struck again.”

  “It has not,” Larissa said right behind her. She walked into Hank’s arms and laid her head on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat in her ears was so peaceful that she hated to open her eyes.

  Chapter 23

  The sun came out late Friday afternoon and the wind twisted around to the south. By night the roads were clear enough that pickup trucks could navigate and folks were tired of being homebound. Luther didn’t have to count the customers but there were enough people to fill up the dance floors and keep all three bartenders busy most of the time.

  Larissa felt Hank’s presence before she noticed him skirting a double string of line dancers taking up most of the floor. He claimed a stool at the end of the bar and their eyes met in the middle. He pointed toward the Mason jar she was filling for someone else and she nodded. When she’d finished that order she picked up a pint and pulled the handle marked Coors.

  “I wasn’t expecting you tonight,” she said.

  He handed her a five-dollar bill and she made change. “Roads were clear enough to drive on. Ice patches still on the bridges but they have been sanded. Just have to be careful.”

  “Are you staying in town?”

  “Depends on whether I’m asked.” His eyes twinkled.

  Justin Langley claimed the last two bar stools on Hank’s left. “Asked what? I brought someone for you to meet, Larissa. I can’t believe you are still around here. What was your name? Hank something? I figured you’d have given up on her by now. Most cowboys only last a few weeks.”

  “How about you?”

  “Justin?” the tall brunette with him asked.

  “Ah, honey, you know I like to tease. Larissa, meet my wife, Denise. We got married the day before Thanksgiving and were on our way to Branson, Missouri, for a honeymoon when the snow stopped us. We spent two nights holed up in a motel and now we’re back on the road to Branson. The Christmas stuff is all lit up and she loves Christmas, don’t you?”

  “I do, and it’s nice to meet you, Larissa. I’d like a Grey Goose martini.”

  “Nice to meet you. Your first drinks are on the house. Glad to see that you roped Justin down and I hope you have a long and wonderful marriage,” Larissa said.

  “Thank you,” Denise said.

  “Beer?” Larissa asked Justin.

  “No, I’ll have whatever she’s drinking tonight.”

  She hustled two real martini glasses from under the cabinet, cleaned them until they sparkled, and poured the drinks into them.

  “Where’s the jars?” Justin asked.

  “Denise deserves something fancy if she’s go
ing to put up with your sorry hide the rest of her life,” Larissa said.

  Denise was still smiling as they carried their drinks to a table, removed jackets, and draped them over the back of chairs and hit the dance floor just as a slow Alan Jackson song started.

  “And another good man bites the dust,” Hank said.

  “You better watch your smart mouth or you’ll be driving right slow across the bridges tonight,” Larissa said.

  “Is that an invitation to stay over?” he asked.

  “It is,” she said.

  “Could I get a pitcher of margaritas and one of hurricanes?” a man at the other end of the bar asked.

  Larissa nodded and went to work. She set them on a tray when she finished and took his money. When she looked back down the bar, Hank was talking to an older couple who had taken Justin and Denise’s places.

  “Can I get you something?” she asked without even looking at them.

  “Larissa, this is James and Elvira Morleo. They came from over in Abilene,” Hank said.

  She was so engrossed in Hank that it took a few seconds for what he said to sink in. When it did, she looked across the bar and gasped. Her father had been right. She was looking into the future forty years at the reflection of herself. Her grandmother was about the same height, had black hair sprinkled lightly with gray, and brown eyes. The face shape was the same and although Elvira carried twenty or thirty extra pounds it wasn’t hard to imagine her at thirty looking exactly like Larissa.

  “Quite a shock, isn’t it?” Elvira said.

  “Unbelievable,” James muttered. He was the same height as Elvira. His hair was gray and his face shape and eyes were like Larry’s.

  “I think I’ll have a Coors in one of those jars. James likes Bud in a bottle. Larry is outside parking the car. This might not be a good time or place but the family wanted to come over here and meet you. They all love country music and dancing. Don’t worry about remembering their names. It’ll all come with time. Right now we just want to see you,” Elvira said.