Trying It All

by Christi Barth

  “By the time you get your lawyers to wrangle a no-makeup addendum, the show will be long over.” Lara herded the men into a room with wide glass walls.

  Summer did not budge. She couldn’t.

  Riley would think she was weak. Think she’d lost her mind. That she didn’t have an ounce of courage in her whole body. And if this dragged out much longer, he’d have to deal with the beginnings of an honest-to-God panic attack. He hadn’t signed up for that. For dealing with a woman on the verge of breaking down. No man liked that, and with his straightforward approach to life, he seemed particularly disinclined to tears and drama.

  Two steps ahead, Riley stopped and turned back. With an easy smile, he said, “Sorry about this last-minute switch-up. But you look great. You always do.”

  “I can’t do this.”

  The smile turned indulgent. A just girls being girls twist of his lips. “Because of your outfit?”

  “No.” She’d forgive him that dig. It hadn’t seemed intentional. More that he was aware of her livelihood and attention to fashion, and realized she’d want to be at the top of her game. But it meant she’d have to reveal the truth. Or he’d just keep wheedling and hammering at her. Or offer to send a car to pick up another outfit. Which would solve exactly nothing. “Because of the cameras. I freeze up.”

  Riley crossed back to her. Took her hand, which she knew to be a disgusting mix of ice on the top and clammy wetness on her palm. “I don’t understand. You’ve been giving speeches for years.”

  “To an audience, not a camera. None of them were filmed.” She’d made sure of it.

  Forehead still furrowed in confusion, he asked, “What about when you did pageants?”

  “That’s why I’m so scared.” Summer’s mouth went dry as flannel. “The first time I did a pageant that was televised, I was all excited. Ready, confident, and with a new burgundy lipstick that was guaranteed to put me in the finals. But right before the question round, Colby Zuniga pulled me behind the curtain. She dug her nails into my arm and hissed into my ear that there were cameras out there and if I screwed up, everyone in the whole state would be watching and would see it and would know how stupid I was.”

  “Teen girls can be bitches.”

  Jerking her hand away, Summer fisted it on her hip. “Oh yeah? Well, boys have plenty of their own moments of cruelty.”

  “You really want to put on your feminist cape and fight?” Riley tilted his head and jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Or are you just trying any avenue to keep from walking through that door?”

  He’d seen right through her. When she hadn’t even realized what her knee-jerk flip-out was about. “Sorry.” And she put her hand back in the comforting warmth of Riley’s.

  “So she gave you the yips?”

  It was like he wasn’t listening at all. “You mean hiccups?”

  “No. The yips. It’s a golf and baseball thing.”

  This was what she got for hanging out with a man who worked in a primarily male field and lived with four other alpha males. Completely useless frames of reference. Next he’d probably pull out a motivational Star Wars/Trek/Whatever quote. Which she’d recognize if it was from the Hayden Christensen era, because he was hot. But Summer had been told by numerous men that his movies “didn’t count.”

  With a sniff and a slow eye roll that hopefully made it clear just how much he should’ve known better, Summer said, “Not really my milieu.”

  Instead of looking frustrated or annoyed—which she expected—Riley nodded. Patiently, he stroked the back of her hand and said, “It means she got in your head and put you off your game.”

  Oh. What a great word. “Yes. I yipped. I was petrified. I blew the question, made a fool of myself, got mocked in newspapers, and, btw, didn’t even make it into the final ten.”

  “That’s shitty. No way to sugarcoat it.”

  “Exactly. So you see why I can’t guest on your podcast today.”

  “Nope.” He tucked her forearm under his and patted her hand. Like they were about to promenade down a turn-of-the-century boardwalk in gloves, top hat, and parasol. “We’re going to do this.”

  Sweat beaded at her nape. “Riley, I can’t move. I’m terrified all over again. Terrified that I’ll ruin a podcast that today, of all days, will mean so much and be the start of helping so many people. Terrified it’ll go viral and my big Web launch in a few weeks will fizzle because everyone will assume I’m too stupid and flighty to run a successful business. I’m not doing it.”

  “Do you remember what you said to me? In your store? The day we declared a truce?”

  Many, many bad things. Until the kiss, anyway. “I probably called you a jerk. There might’ve been some reference to the giant stick permanently lodged up your ass.”

  “Not where I was headed. All true, though.” And it got him to release her arm. Which at least gave her a chance at bolting down the stairs when he wasn’t looking. “You told me that you wished people would look at you and see the brains inside the beautiful brunette.”

  “By me stammering and not making complete sentences?” Maybe their truce had ended. Now he was intentionally torturing her.

  “How old were you when that little cheat messed with you?”

  “Fifteen.”

  “More than a decade ago.”

  Point to Riley. Too bad logic didn’t work on fear. “Phobias don’t lessen just because time passes.”

  “But you’re not the same person anymore. How much has changed since you were that nervous teen? You made it through college. Started your own business. Got drunk. Had sex. Made other mistakes and rebounded from them instead of wallowing or avoiding. For Christ’s sake, Summer, you survived getting shot. You’re strong. Stronger than fear.”

  She was a different person; Riley had no idea just how true his words rang. Now wasn’t the time to tell him, though. “It’d be one thing if I tried this solo. But Riley, I won’t be responsible for being the weak link in your podcast.”

  “You’re looking at this all wrong.” Riley put an arm around her waist and pushed and scooted her over to stand in front of the studio’s wide glass wall. “You’ve been waiting, hoping that people would see past your boobs to your brains.” He pointed at the cameras in the corners. “This is your chance to show them. This is your vehicle.”

  It was a complete U-turn in thinking. One that appealed to her stubborn streak. The part of her that insisted she could sleep with any guy she wanted, make any business she chose successful, try anything she wanted. Summer had no idea why she hadn’t come around to the idea herself. Or how Riley had realized it was exactly what she needed to hear.

  “You’re right.”

  He staggered back three steps, one hand at his heart and one to his forehead. “Sweet Jesus, I’ve been waiting to hear those words from you for so long!”

  “Very funny.” Summer swatted at his hand and kissed him with great tenderness and care on the cheek. What he’d just done for her, how he’d helped her shake off the chains of the past, was enormous. “Thank you for the pep talk. I didn’t know you had it in you. It was a nice surprise.”

  “I surprised you? Unspontaneous me with the giant stick up my ass?” Riley tickled her rib cage until she squealed.

  “I want to do this. I want to try, anyway. You’ve given me the courage I needed. But there’s still a chance I’ll yip.”

  “I’ve gotta teach you the proper way to use that word.”

  “I’m serious. You should warn the other guys. Ask if they want me to stand down.”

  “Summer, you’re one of us now. We’re a team. If you stumble, we pick you up. Remember, it was their idea to invite you on. Like you said, this is an important day for us. We wouldn’t have asked you to share it if we didn’t believe you’d make a meaningful contribution.”

  “Only you could turn something so sweet into something so wordy and dry.”

  “If you’re bitching at me, you’ve got swagger. Which means we’re ready to head
in.” He pushed open the door. “You’ll do great.”

  Summer wasn’t so sure she believed that. Just getting through it would be a major accomplishment. But she tossed her hair back, jutted out her chin, and said, “I’m going to be brilliant.”

  “I’ll hold your hand the whole time.”

  Now that she had no trouble believing. The trouble came when Summer realized just how much comfort and strength Riley’s promise gave her.

  Chapter 15

  Surreptitiously, Riley licked his index finger and held it in the air. Nothing. Not even a little breeze. Which was good news, considering Summer was pulling him down the path at the National Zoo. The less breeze to stir smells through the fencing, the better.

  She squeezed his hand. “What’s your favorite animal?”

  “To eat?” He said it just to tease a laugh out of her, and enjoyed her giggling response, the simple silliness that lifted her features from pretty to gorgeous.

  “Shhh. Don’t say that.” Head whipping around from side to side with exaggerated dramatics, Summer whispered, “Not here.”

  “I like the elephants.”

  “Me, too. We’ll go there first.”

  Riley tugged her to a halt. Out of his cargo pocket he palmed the map that Summer had refused at the turnstile. “That’s inefficient. We should follow the marked paths so we don’t end up walking in circles.” He started to point at the route that would take them past the line for the giant pandas, but Summer snatched the map, crumpled it, and executed a pretty decent three-pointer into a trash can.

  “In your perfectly ordered world, yes. In my messier but more fun version of life, I’m taking you to the elephants first so we can enjoy them alone.”

  “I don’t need ‘alone time,’ ” Riley said, making air quotes, “with elephants. We’re not that close.”

  Giggling again, Summer pressed against his side. God, she fit perfectly. Soft and curvy and just the right height so he could comfortably drape his arm over her shoulder. So that he could drop a kiss on the top of her head whenever the urge struck. Which happened all the damn time. “You need alone time with me,” she declared.

  Weird. “Aside from the ankle biters running around us in hordes, won’t we have that all day?”

  “Not exactly.”

  Uh-oh.

  He knew. Riley didn’t know what it was, but he knew that his spontaneously inclined girlfriend had done something. Something she was sure he wouldn’t like, but hoped to cajole him into trying. What could they do at a zoo that he—or anyone with a safety-minded brain—would see as dangerous? Something that Summer would think of as fun? Hold a python? Throw slabs of meat at the big cats? He wouldn’t put it past her to try all of it.

  “What have you done? Because if we leave here in an ambulance, just know that I’ll be pissed. Doesn’t matter if it’s you or me that gets their foot chewed off by a cougar. Either way, I’ll be pissed.”

  She ruffled his hair. “You’re so grumpy in the morning. I gave you coffee.”

  “You gave me more than coffee,” Riley reminded her in a low growl. Their shower sex had gotten his eyes open and his blood pumping way more than any triple-shot espresso could have.

  “It was only fair. I had to reciprocate for the very special dessert you gave me last night.”

  That flashed him a memory of the whipped cream can he’d wielded on their peach cobbler. And other places. Other places way sweeter than a late summer perfect peach. “Stop turning me on in the middle of a zoo. The timing’s impossible.”

  “Nothing’s impossible,” she said, drawing the word out and looking at the buses around them.

  “No. Hell to the no. Sex in a car was one thing. Sex in an official branch of the Smithsonian with children running around and the even slight possibility that a wild animal might decide to use us for a snack is a hard limit.”

  Her smug smile alerted Riley that she’d only been pushing his buttons. “Good thing that wasn’t what I planned for today. The complete opposite, as a matter of fact.”

  Dangerous. And the opposite of sex. Yeah, the clues didn’t add up at all. “What have you done?”

  “My parents are driving through D.C. on their way up to spend a week in New York. They miss me. So I told them to meet us here.”

  Holy shit. That did fit both categories. Risky as hell and a complete cock block. It’d be nice to be a cartoon character right about now. To spin his legs into a blur and disappear backward with just a whoosh and a streak of dust. Because Riley didn’t even know where to start. Besides shaking his head until he puked. Yeah. That’d be a reasoned, rational response.

  Shockingly, the part of him that coolly juggled interjurisdictional teams and victims and family and press at accident sites rose to the occasion. Riley lifted an eyebrow. “Us? You specifically mentioned me?”

  “Of course. I wouldn’t want to surprise them at the last minute.”

  Okay, after he picked his jaw up off the ground at her obvious-as-jock-itch double standard, Riley crossed his arms. Because now they were going to get into it. “Like you just did to me.”

  “The easiest way to try something out of your comfort zone is to not have the chance to worry about it incessantly beforehand.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. Preparing for something new affords you both the chance to gather all necessary information and to lessen anxiety.”

  “Whatever. There’s more than one way to fold a towel. When you’re done, the towel’s still folded.” She stuck out her tongue.

  Seriously?

  Should he have guessed? Riley skimmed his gaze down her outfit. Tank, shorts, flat sandals. Looked like normal zoo clothes to him. Of course, Summer also sported dangly earrings, three necklaces, four bracelets, and a fancy handbag. But that in no way was a clue that he should’ve expected her freaking parents to join them. It was her look on any given day.

  He scrambled for another fact to prove that this whole idea smacked of insanity. “We only declared our truce eighteen days ago.”

  “Awww, how cute.” This time she blew him a big, wet kiss. “You’re keeping track? Then here’s a stat for you—you took the risk of kissing me exactly twenty days ago. None of that changes the fact that my parents will be here soon. Excited to enjoy an early autumn afternoon with their daughter and her friend. Who, I’m sure, will be on his best behavior.”

  “I always am,” Riley shot back automatically.

  “Yes. You’re quite dependable. Which is sometimes frustrating. On the other hand, your dependability when it comes to bringing me to a screaming orgasm is a plus.”

  The woman was going to kill him. It’d be the first documented case of death by blue balls in D.C. “For the love of God, stop talking about sex. We’re talking about your parents now. And the fact that I should not be meeting them today.”

  “Why not? I didn’t hatch the plan to trick you, or make you uncomfortable. They happen to be in town. No big deal.” She took his hand and swung it between them as if the world wasn’t about to implode.

  “Huge deal. It’s too soon,” Riley said flatly.

  “For my brand-new boyfriend to ‘officially’ meet my parents? Yep. It sure is.”

  Huh. He’d been geared up to go at least a handful of rounds with her on this. Riley didn’t mind that she’d rolled over so fast, though. He’d even reward her by throwing caution—and efficiency—to the wind and take her to visit the elephants first. “Good. Glad you see that.”

  “So what?”

  OMtothefuckingG. “So what?” He jerked back his hand so Summer wouldn’t feel the panic sweat starting to collect in his palm. Because Riley still couldn’t admit to himself—not entirely, anyway—what she meant to him. How much she mattered. The thought of her dad putting the screws to him on the subject? Deservedly, no less? He tried again. “So it means something.”

  “It could. Or it could just be random timing and opportunity. We’d planned to spend the day together. I didn’t want to bail on you. I didn’t
want to miss the chance to see my parents. So yes, we’re taking a tiny risk. It isn’t the end of the world.”

  “They might have expectations. Want to know my intentions. When we’re still working on being fucking civil to each other.”

  “We’ve got that down cold. Look, my dad isn’t going to ask you if you bought a ring for me. And that has everything to do with him knowing his daughter. Knowing that I haven’t had anything close to a steady boyfriend since high school. Knowing that I enjoy living in the moment.”

  Funny how Riley did not enjoy hearing Summer remind him that she could move on to another man at any second. Sure, they’d agreed to give dating a try. It’d been working well so far. He didn’t want to think about what would happen when it stopped working.

  His phone buzzed in his pocket.

  “Do you need to get that?”

  “I always have to check. It comes with the job.”

  “I get it. Don’t worry.”

  The text from the NTSB informed him of a train versus a single vehicle accident down in Florida. It went out to all the investigators in charge for something this small on the weekend. Whoever had the time and the inclination could jump on it, or it’d get assigned in five minutes to the next in rotation. Riley usually jumped. After all, he didn’t have kids or a dog to answer to on this Saturday. Easier for him to hop a plane than for some others. Plus, he liked pulling more than his weight.

  It’d be the perfect way to get out of meeting the Sheridans. Summer had proven time and again that she understood the extra time requirements of his job. She wouldn’t be mad. He might even be back in time for the podcast tomorrow.

  But…no.

  As tempting as it was to take the easy out, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Riley wanted to spend the day with Summer. He’d already told her that he would. There’d be enough other times he’d have to go. This time, he chose to stay put.

  He chose her.

  Over his job.

  Man, the guys were going to laugh their asses off about this. He pocketed the phone. “I’m done. Sorry for the interruption.”