The Truth She Knew

by J. A. Owenby

  “I like peppermint on you,” he said as he drew me in for a deeper kiss.

  I lost all sense of time and my surroundings as we kissed. I could have stayed in that moment forever, with his body against mine. I never wanted to let him go.

  “I love you muches and muches and muches,” he whispered against my cheek.

  A giggle escaped me as his whisper tickled my ear.

  “I love you too, Walker. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

  The cars slowly dissipated from the parking lot, and only a few were left. I didn’t have much more time with him, but I hopped up on the hood of my car and wrapped my legs around his waist.

  “How was your day?” I asked.

  “I ran some errands for Mom and picked Garrett up from school. He was really excited—he got a B on the paper you helped him with.”

  “That’s fantastic! I’ll congratulate him when I see him next.”

  “Thank you for helping him. It meant a lot to Mom, too.”

  “How is she?”

  “About the same.” He paused for a moment and played with my fingers.

  “Lace, I never know what to expect. When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is, did she make it? One of these days I’m going to walk into her bedroom and she isn’t going to wake up. It’s going to be over. It makes me sick.”

  I pulled Walker in for a hug and gently rubbed his neck. There weren’t any words I could say that would make anything better; I could only promise to be there with him when it happened. I’d lost friends before, but not a parent or sibling. I wasn’t equipped to help him through it, or even myself for that matter, but I loved him and would be there for him and Garrett. I was grateful for Aunt Linda as well.

  “Walker, what happens to you and Garrett when—?” I couldn’t finish the question.

  I hadn’t thought about where they would live. Would he stay here? Would he find his dad and move? Did he have another relative that lived out of state? Was I going to lose him too? I bit my lip in an attempt to hide my panic.

  “We’re staying at the house. Garrett will move upstairs with Aunt Linda and I’ll live downstairs.”

  I tried not to show my immediate relief. It was selfish that I’d even had the thought when Walker was losing his mom, but I couldn’t help it.

  “Would you be sad if I left?”

  “It would shatter me times three.”

  “What? Times three?”

  “Walker, I love you. I’m closer to your family than my own.” My voice hiccupped as I fought back the tears. “I can’t lose all of you. Losing Susan is bad enough.”

  Walker leaned in and kissed me softly. He wanted to make me feel better, but he couldn’t when he felt worse than I did.

  He pulled my hips forward and into him. His response to our kiss gave me something much better to think about. I slipped my fingers underneath the waist of his jeans and tugged. His skin warmed my fingers. I wanted to take his shirt off and run my hands along his chest and stomach. I wanted to be in his bedroom. I wanted him.

  “Lacey Anne!”

  Walker and I snapped to attention. I peered into the darkness, but I’d already recognized the voice of the person who said my name. There was no mistaking her.

  “Son of a bitch,” I mumbled as I slid off my car and grabbed Walker’s hand.

  “So this is how you’re spending your time?” Krissy asked as her eyes traveled up and down Walker. “Won’t Mama love to find out about this.” She was almost rubbing her hands together with the excitement of her discovery.

  “I’m Walker,” he said as he extended his hand to Krissy.

  “So you are,” she said, ignoring his extended hand.

  “Krissy, you can’t tell Mama,” I stammered.

  “Oh, but I can, little sister. And I will.”

  She almost couldn’t talk she was smiling so hard.

  Walker stepped in front of me as he realized who she was and what was unfolding.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Krissy. I realize you’ve been away at college, but there’s been a lot going on. Lacey and I aren’t doing anything wrong. There’s no reason to say anything to anyone.”

  “That’s where you’re very wrong. I’m not sure what Lacey has been telling you, but I’d be happy to set you straight,” she said as she pushed her pointer finger into his chest.

  I didn’t even have enough time to step forward before Walker grabbed her hand.

  “If I want you or anyone else to touch me, I’ll make it unmistakably clear.”

  I couldn’t see Walker’s face, but I couldn’t miss the sharp tone in his voice. He was pissed.

  “And let me make something else clear. Whether you like it or not, I love Lacey.”

  Krissy’s laugh echoed through the parking lot.

  “You’re just as stupid as she is. Let me give you a tip for your own well-being, Walker. Stay away from her. Lacey is dangerous. She rips through people’s lives like a tornado, destroying everything around her and only leaving pain in her wake. She will lie to you about her family, lie to you about her school—hell, she’ll lie to anyone about anything. You can’t believe a word she says.”

  “Krissy, stop! Walker, it’s not true.”

  “And here’s the icing on the cake. She’s a mental case, crazy, she does bizarre shit and then blames anyone she can. She even shoved her own mother last week during a fight!”

  “That’s not true,” Walker said, taking a step toward Krissy. “You’re not getting the truth, Krissy. Did you even ask Lacey what happened and who pushed who?”

  “I didn’t have to, Mama told me everything,” Krissy said as her chin jutted upward.

  “I suppose she said demons made Lacey push her? Made Lacey act that way?” Walker asked as he closed the gap between them.

  If I hadn’t been so shocked that Walker had stood up for me, I would have laughed my ass off at the stunned expression on Krissy’s face. No one had the balls to get in her face. My heart beat faster than the Grinch’s at that moment—Walker didn’t believe my family’s vicious lies.

  “I know the truth, Krissy. Maybe it’s time you did too.”

  Krissy took a few steps back and then walked away. It was then that I spotted her car on the other side of the parking lot. I hoped she tripped over a rock and ate pavement. It served her right for what she’d said.

  Krissy pulled out of the parking lot and Walker wrapped his arms around me. I snuggled against him as his heart pounded against my cheek. He was mad. I had just witnessed firsthand Walker Farren getting pissed.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I nodded. I didn’t want to let him go, ever.

  We stood in silence for a few minutes until I pulled back.

  “Walker, she’s going to tell Mama. There’s nothing I can do to stop her. I’m in deep shit.”

  “I’ll come with you and meet your Mom, then. Maybe it will help calm her down.”

  “You can’t. She hates it if I bring someone over without asking. It will make things worse, if that’s possible.”

  “What do you want me to do? You can’t stay there with them.”

  “I have to go home, Walker. I have to tell her I’m dating you. I’m glad Krissy showed up. I’ve wanted to tell Mama anyway. I love you. I don’t want to hide you. I don’t want to hide our relationship anymore. It’s time—I just wish I’d told her sooner. This is my fault. If I’d already told Mama, Krissy wouldn’t have anything to hold over my head. She still doesn’t. I won’t give her the satisfaction. I’m sorry.”

  “Stop, you can’t apologize for your sister. She’s responsible for her own actions, not you. Call me later?”

  “I’ll do my best. It might be tomorrow, though. I have class at nine and a break at noon.”

  “I’ll be there,” he said and kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll be there.”

  I let our hands slip apart as I searched his blue eyes.

  “I love you—” I began.

>   “—muches and muches and muches,” he finished.

  I got into my car and locked the doors. I peered in the rearview mirror as I pulled away. Within a few short minutes, Walker had protected me and then stood helpless as I drove away. I wanted to reassure him that everything was going to be okay, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even tell myself that.

  Guilt reared up its familiar head as I once again realized that I shouldn’t have brought Walker into this messed-up situation. I suspected that Krissy was at home telling Mama what she’d seen and I was going to walk into a shitstorm.

  My mind raced with exit strategies: where the doors were, where I should stand or sit while Mama was casting demons out of me and screaming. I had my bag packed and hidden in my trunk, so I had enough clothes to make it a few days.

  I mentally kicked myself all the way home for not being honest with Mama, but it was no use now. I’d screwed up and it was time to confess.

  I pulled my Mustang into the driveway and took several deep breaths. My hands shook as I gathered my purse and stepped out of my car. I should have stayed with Walker. I shouldn’t have come home and pretended that I wanted to be brave. I was eighteen, almost nineteen. I didn’t legally have to come back at all.

  I leaned against my car and closed my eyes, thinking about Walker, Susan, and even Garrett picking his nose the first time I saw him. I was going to talk to Mama because I loved them. I loved all of them and I wanted to spend as much time with Susan as I could before she left us.

  It was Susan’s support that moved my feet up the steps, across our porch, and through the front door into our living room.

  Chapter 24

  I was shocked by the image in front of me. I blinked a few times, thinking the light was too bright after standing outside in the dark, but the picture before me didn’t change.

  Mama sat in her chair, Patsy on the couch, and Krissy in the recliner. They didn’t even look at me as I came in. In fact, they were watching TV and laughing.

  I stared at them for a moment until Krissy waved at me to close the door.

  I walked to the kitchen table and put my purse and books down. I wanted to have everything close in case I needed to make a run for it, but this wasn’t what I was prepared for at all.

  “What are y’all watching?” I asked. I could barely hear my own voice over the pounding in my ears.

  “Miami Vice,” Mama said, not really paying much attention to me.

  I glanced at the TV again, picked up the books I’d left on the table, and made it a few steps before Krissy spoke.

  “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you I met Lacey after work today, Mama,” she said.

  I stopped in my tracks and turned around to stare at her.

  “Well, why are you home so much later, Lacey?” Mama asked.

  I tried to collect my words, but there was no right way to say it.

  “I . . .”

  “She was with a boy,” Krissy blurted.

  I glanced around the room. No one said a word, but all eyes were on me. Mama turned the TV off. That was my cue to run if I was going to, but I didn’t want to run. I didn’t want to hide Walker anymore. My shaking knees argued with my decision.

  “Mama, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first,” I said as I shot Krissy a look. It should have sent her to hell, but unfortunately it didn’t work. She still sat in the living room with a smug expression on her face.

  “Who is he?” Mama asked. Her voice remained steady. The calm before the storm; I recognized it all too well. She was just gathering additional information before planning her attack.

  “His name is Walker.”

  “Oh, so you did lie to me. You said you didn’t give him our phone number when he called that night. You also denied seeing anyone when I asked you last week.”

  “I didn’t lie, Mama. Tammy gave him my number and told him it was okay to call. She was being a brat. She knew it wasn’t okay for him to call after nine.”

  Mama stared at me for a moment longer and remained unusually quiet. I leaned against the wall, my books still in my hands.

  “So, you’ve been going out with him for a month now?”

  “Yes, almost a month.”

  “Krissy, how did you meet him?”

  “He was all over her in the parking lot at work. They didn’t even care that other people were around. They are definitely sleeping together, you can tell by the way they act.”

  “That is not true!” I yelled. “We are not sleeping together, Krissy, you’re just guessing. You met him for five seconds and you already think you have us all figured out!”

  “Enough!” Mama sat up straight in her chair. “Sit down, Lacey!”

  This was it. I put my books down and sat in the rocking chair farthest away from Mama. I was regretting my decision. I shouldn’t have come home at all. Krissy was enjoying the entertainment of Mama getting pissed that I was dating someone. Krissy dated all the time, but Mama never found out because she was away at college, so it never became an issue.

  “Lacey, I’m glad Krissy spotted you. She just confirmed what God has already shown me. I knew you were with someone that Sunday, but you lied to me then, too. I spend entire days praying for you and this is how you repay me? This is how you treat a family who loves you? You ungrateful little bitch,” she snarled.

  I drew in a sharp breath as she talked. I would never get used to her calling me names.

  “Krissy is right and you’re sleeping with him, aren’t you? Those demons are leading you around on a leash and you just give in to any boy who pays attention to you. There’s a part of you that enjoys it, or you would be free of them by now—I pray too hard for you not to be. This is your fault. You want them to stay!”

  “Mama that’s not true, and just because I’m dating someone doesn’t mean I have demons.”

  Mama’s face turned red as she struggled for words. I’d never said anything like that to her before.

  “Who told you that?” she spat. “Your little boyfriend? And you believe him? He’s just trying to get you into bed, you stupid little girl.”

  “No he isn’t, Mama!”

  “You’re so naïve you’ll believe anything he says.”

  “Mama that’s not true. Please, just meet him and you can find out for yourself. He’s a good guy. I think you would even like his mom.”

  “His mother?”

  Dammit, I’d gone too far. When was I going to learn to keep my mouth shut? I wanted to slap the part of me that wanted Mama’s approval of my choices, my friends, and my relationships. When was I going to finally accept the truth that she’d never approve of anything I did?

  “You’ve met his mother?” she asked quietly.

  I nodded.

  “So now you’ve met his perfect little family who loves you? Is that it? But they have no idea, do they? They have no idea what you do, how you hurt people, how sick you really are.”

  I couldn’t answer the question. If Mama knew the truth, it would be the end of it. She would fly across the room and be on me in a flat second.

  “Answer me, dammit!” she said. “You brought this on yourself. You schemed and plotted behind my back and didn’t think God would tell me? He put your sister there at the right moment and she loves you enough to say something to me in order to save your sorry ass!”

  “That’s not true,” I whispered.

  “What? I didn’t hear you.” Mama stood up and took a few steps toward me.

  “I said . . .” My voice faltered.

  Mama’s face froze and her body stiffened. Her eyes glazed over and she stared through me. The floor shook violently as she dropped to the ground.

  “Mama!” I yelled as I jumped out of my chair and grabbed her hand.

  Mama remained rigid as her whole body twitched. Her head tilted back and only the whites of her eyes were visible.

  I don’t remember who called 911 as I talked to Mama. I didn’t know what was happening; Mama had never done anything like this before. Krissy held Mam
a’s head in her lap and tried to keep her from thrashing around, but she was strong.

  As abruptly as it began, it stopped. Mama lay still no matter what we did. Krissy, Patsy, and I were all talking to her at the same time. Patsy patted her face and I squeezed her hand, but there was no response.

  It seemed like hours before I heard the sirens in the background, but I knew that couldn’t be right. A fire station was less than a mile away. They’d be the first to arrive, with an ambulance right behind them.

  Strong arms pulled me up to a standing position and moved me away from Mama as the emergency team gathered around her. I stood rooted to the floor in horror as they checked her vitals and rattled off information to each other. They placed an oxygen mask over her face and her eyes fluttered open. She had a fearful expression; she was probably trying to understand why strange men were all around her, and what had happened.

  Patsy stepped in and took her hand. She spoke quietly to Mama as the team continued to work on her. Then they wheeled Mama out of the house on the gurney, and I followed.

  As Patsy was climbing into the ambulance, she told me to meet her and Krissy at the hospital. Krissy hopped into her car. All the vehicles pulled out of the driveway, and the red-and-blue lights broke through the darkness. This time the sound of the ambulance was for my family, not someone else’s.

  I stood alone at the front door trying to grasp what had just happened. Then I ran back into the house and called Walker’s house. The phone rang six times, and I was about to hang up when Garrett answered.

  “Garrett, it’s Lacey.”

  “Hey, Lacey, what’s up?”

  “Buddy, I need to talk to Walker. They just took my mom to the hospital.”

  “Shit, really? Walker’s not here. He ran to the store for Mom, but he should be back in about thirty minutes.”

  Thirty minutes would be an eternity, and I couldn’t wait to talk to him. I had to go.

  “Garrett, can you please ask him to meet me at the hospital as soon as he gets home?”

  “Yeah, I will—the second he walks in I’ll tell him, Lacey.”

  “You’re awesome, thank you. I have to go.”