“Can I tell you I love you even if I don’t know if I mean it? I don’t think I mean it, that way.”
“With that caveat, yeah.”
“I love you so much. It hurts.” I say as I bury my nose in his chest hair. I’m crying again. His hand strokes down my back. He kisses the top of my head.
“I love you too.”
Saturday was much heavier than we both want to admit. Sunday we decide to chill. He walks Titus without me. I’m conflicted about this when I wake up, like actually kind of pissed. I needed the sleep and I wasn’t in the mood for an early morning walk through the woods, but I hate it when Shep leaves me in the house alone. I know he locks the doors and we’re in the middle of nowhere, but still. I’ve been in the middle of nowhere before. But I did need the sleep. He’s up making breakfast when I finally wake up and realize I desperately need a shower.
There’s coffee when I get dressed. After we eat, Shep forces me to watch First Blood. I pretend to hate it, but I break down in a combination of hysterical tears and laughter when I admit that I used to make Miles watch it all the time when we were kids because he did the funniest impression of Sylvester Stallone.
Shep admits to me that his grandfather and Jad used to watch this movie together like it was Monday Night football. He also vows to find something I’ll really hate for making him sit through almost a whole season of The Originals. I tell him if he digs up Weekend at Bernie’s I’ll burn down his house and steal his dog. He gets that I’m not joking.
We manage to keep our genitals apart all day, but I am horny as fuck by the time we finish doing the dinner dishes. I tell Shep that we need to do something about his jizzing all over me. I’m half joking, but he gets serious and sits me down on the island stools.
“I want to check in with you first and see if you’re still interested in submitting to me this week.” he asks.
“Yes. Of course I am. We’ve been fucking all weekend. Why? Do you have a new quest for me?”
He makes a face, but nods. “Yes.”
Now I’m concerned. “What’s up?”
“I’ve never been with anyone who talks back as much as you do, but I like it. I finally figured out a way to punish you that won’t end up being a backhanded punishment for me. We took this weekend off, but I would like to start fresh tomorrow.”
“We can do that.”
“Do you understand what a safe word is and how it works?” I make a face, but he is dead serious and he’s not budging. I cough and sit up.
“A safe word lets you know that I’m not cool with what’s happening and I want you to stop.”
“That’s correct. I want you to pick a safe word.”
“How about ‘hedgehog’? I have no reason whatsoever to say that word.”
“Hedgehog works just fine. Tomorrow you will be with me all day, including first thing in the morning when I go out to photograph the mountain so we’re going to go to bed early. The post office will let me know when our stuff is here. We’ll head down to town and pick that up and run some other errands. Probably have dinner down there and then we’ll come back up and play for a little while. If you behave.”
“Okay…” I’m dying to know what he means. “Will this be another tits out dinner?”
“Probably. Is that a problem?”
“No.”
“Good. Go take off your clothes and go lie on the bed.”
“Yes, sir,” I say with a little two fingered salute. His eyes narrow at me as I hop off the stool. I laugh. “What? I’m following your directions.”
“Mhmm.”
I go into the bedroom and I find that I’m back in the mood by the time I’m naked on top of the bed spread. I look up when he walks into the room. The sight of him pulling off his shirt makes me swallow.
“Roll over,” he says. I roll onto my stomach and wait, listening to the sound of him pulling off the rest of his clothes and then he’s crawling over me. I love the heat from his body and feeling of his chest hair along my back. He kisses me all over, my cheeks, my shoulders, all the way down my back.
He moves me to my knees and his mouth is on my pussy. His licks every inch, kisses my lips open for him, sucks on my clit. His tongue pushes inside me. It feels so good. I tell him. I tell him not to stop, but he does. I whine and complain, but I know it’s just getting started.
The next thing I feel is his hips pressing against my ass and his shaft rubbing along my slit. It’s like the night before but it feels different. It feels better. He grips my hips and starts moving me back and forth, slowing until I’m moving on my own, driving myself crazy.
“That’s right,” he says. “Get me nice and wet.”I lean forward a bit, spread my legs even more. My pussy is open, clenching for him. I can almost feel him entering me from behind, feel every inch, like a phantom sensation. All he has to do is shove his way in. I start to feel myself going over. Just a few more seconds and I know I’ll come.
Shep stops my hips. He pulls away. I whine some more, but he tells me to be patient.
He slides back up the length of my body, moves his hand along my stomach then lower on my thigh to urge me to lay flat again. I feel his cock along my ass and then he’s gathering my hair in his hand, bracing himself with his other hand just beside mine in the sheets. Shep turns my head and kisses me properly.
I’m almost angry at how good he is at kissing. I could kiss him all night and be satisfied. I won’t tell him that because I really want to come. His knee slips between my thighs and nudges them apart just a little bit, leaving just enough room for his hand. His whole hand is cupping my pussy. I’m so wet I know I’m soaking all of his palm. He slides three fingers in and swirls them around just for a moment before he’s cupping me again.
“Shep,” I beg.
“Shhh. I got you.” He licks the side of my mouth. “Just hold tight, baby.” His yanks my head to the side. I let out a little yelp, but the pain just spurs me on. I need him inside of me. Shep sits back a little and his other hand is back between my legs, but it’s not enough. It’s just a tease. And then I feel his knuckles brushing over my ass. Over and over.
“Do you feel that?” he asks. I try to nod, but he’s still gripping my hair.
“Yes,” I say.
“I’m using everything I got from that dripping wet cunt of yours to jack my dick.”
My body reacts on its own. I wince because I’m so turned on at the thought of it, I try to move, but I can’t. He’s holding my hair too tight.
“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I say. “Please,” I beg.
“Soon,” he whispers and then he’s kissing me again.
This torture continues. I can feel his hand and his cock on my ass and at the base of my back and every few minutes he pauses to gather more of my juices from between my legs. His kisses become more frantic, more restless. He starts getting rough. I bite him, but not too hard. He bites me back, just hard enough. Then I know what’s about to happen.
“I’m about to come,” he says. His voice sounds so ragged. I close my eyes. “Fuck,” he says and then he says it again a little louder and then I feel it on my ass. The hot drops covering my skin, then the head of his cock spreading it around. He releases my hair and lets out several deep breath before he speaks again.
“I just came all over your ass. You want to see?”
“Yes,” I gasp. I turn my head and watch him as he grabs his phone. I lie there as he snaps a few pictures.
“You wanna taste it?” he asks.
“Yes,” I say even louder. I feel his fingers wiping up what they can. He covers me again with his whole body and holds the phone up in front of my face so I can see how nice my ass looks all red and painted.
“Open up.” I do and he shoves two cum covered fingers in my mouth. I swirl my tongue around, then suck them clean. He’s salty and sweet. “Next, I do it on your tits and then in your mouth. Don’t move.”
“’Kay,”I say as he hops up. I lay th
ere and hold still as I hear the sink running in the other room. He’s back a few seconds later and I feel the warmth of a wet wash cloth smoothing over my butt. Then he gives it a hard slap, and I hear the wet sound of the washcloth landing in his hamper. He leaves the room again. He’s shutting off the lights in the kitchen. He turns off the lights in the bedroom when he comes back, then moves me to the side of the bed so he can shift the covers out from under me.
“It’s time for bed,” he says as he pulls me into his arms.
“Now?”
“Yes.”
“Can we finish?” I turn my head and look at him. His eyes are closed.
“We are finished.”
“I didn’t come yet.”
“So? You wanted me to come on you. I did. It’s time for bed.”
“What?” I roll all the way over.
“You can come when you stop talking back to me.”
“Um, excuse me sir, but I have hands that work very well.”
“I’m sure they do, but I don’t sleep that deep. You try finishing yourself off before morning.” He rolls me back over and spoons me. I stare into the darkness and think about all the ways out of this. My mind is still turning over, but my body eventually gives up. I hate this game, but I can’t stop myself from wanting to play it so badly. I let out a rageful sigh and sag against him. I’ve never been more annoyed with a spent cock pressing against my ass in my whole life.
“Atta girl,” he says. I almost reconsider the blaze and the K9 theft.
Fourteen
Shep
I can’t remember the last time I’ve woken up feeling so smug, but I get some extreme pleasure from sending Claudia to bed wet and unsatisfied. I am not sure whether or not she’s broken the only rule I’ve set for her, but the few times I wake during the night and she’s peacefully sleeping in my arms or curled up against my side, her hands are nowhere near her crotch.
I’m still pissed at Jad for the shit he pulled over dinner, but Claudia is a nice distraction and I try not to think of that in all the ways it could be shitty. Her presence calms me and for the time being it's nice to remember there are other people who don't live on the mountain. I don't mind the sex all that much either.
My alarm goes off at its usual time. I sit up, then roll to the other side of the bed and wake her up. She jerks a little, but doesn't try to punch or elbow me. Definitely an improvement.
“Baby, wake up.”
“Hey,” she says, still groggy. “I’m up. What are we doing?”
“Every morning I go out and photograph different parts of the mountain. You’re coming with me.”
“Okay.”
She shuffles to the edge of the mattress and stands. I watch her as she gets her bearings and starts digging through her things.
I sit on the edge of the other side of the bed and don't realize I'm staring at her until she turns and looks at me.
“What?”
“I’m not gonna lie. I was starting to like the way you always argue with me. I didn't expect you to come along so willingly.”
Maybe she’s finally settled into the time difference and she’s too tired to argue. It is well before dawn. She goes into the bathroom and when she comes back I can smell the mint of her toothpaste coming off of her. I pull on my socks and watch her as she puts lotion on her face.
“Push back turning you on?” she says as she slips on her bra.
“A little bit.”
“I mean, I can make today a living hell for you, you just say the word, Master Shep.”
I pull on my shirt and walk over to her as she's hopping into her jeans.
“I'll think about it. Coffee sound good?”
“Yes please.”
I finish getting ready. We have our coffee and we head out. We head west again and I lead Claudia down the trail. She doesn’t say much, but I do laugh when she jumps at the sound of a screech owl. She slaps my arm and laughs quietly when she realizes she’s not in mortal danger. She finally speaks up though when we hit the clearing.
“This is where we came the other day.”
“Yeah.” I hand her Titus’s leash and set my gear down on the rock ledge. There’s still another fifteen or so minutes before sunrise. “I'm doing a series for the forest service and the Smithsonian called New Day. I've been photographing sunrises for almost five years.”
“Jesus. Is there an end point?”
“I'm aiming for a twenty-year series. When I was a kid I did a project for school on global warming and my grandfather was telling me how you could see subtle difference in the climate. You know, he’d noticed that the winters were shorter, summers hotter since he moved into the cabin, but it was the last ten or fifteen years they started really noticing differences in the migration patterns of some of the birds and the butterflies. The water levels of the streams and rivers, even the foliage. I wanted to visually document changes in the mountain as a whole. Some universities have been using some of my stuff too.”
“That's really cool. And a little bit frightening. We’re all gonna die.”
“Too true. But this will all go on, unless we nuke the planet down the center. I'll show you more of my shots from this spot when we get back.”
I look out over the Western rise and start snapping photos of that side of the valley. Claudia is quiet beside me, only whispering to Titus every now and then when he tries to convince her to follow him on an adventure into the trees. The sun crests over the peak in the East and I am able to capture the perfect outline of its shadow. When I have what I want, I lean on the bolder next to Claudia.
“You in a hurry to head back? Are you hungry?”
“A little. But we don’t need to rush. It’s nice up here.”
I lift my camera off my chest and turn to her. “Do you mind?”
Her eyes go a little wide for a moment, but then she shakes her head. “Do I need to pose or act natural?”
“Do what feels right.”
“’Kay,” she says. Then she crosses her eyes and sticks out her tongue at me. Then she’s smiling and then she’s making a kissy face. “Wait, get me with my new best buddy.” She hops off the boulder and squats next to Titus and I get a few shots of him trying to lick her face and Claudia laughing.
“Okay it’s my turn.” I watch her as she takes her phone out of her coat pocket and turns its camera on me. “You ready?”
I try not to roll my eyes. “Yeah, sure.” I never intentionally smile in pictures.
“Let me help you.” She steps in front of me and starts snapping selfies of us both. I cave and kiss her forehead and she’s able to capture that. Then she turns to me. “I fucking hate when people do this, but whatever.” She leans up and kisses me and when she pulls back, she pulls up her photo album. She’d managed to snap two slightly crooked pictures of us kissing.
“See the light here? I wanted this to express the elements of hopefulness and helplessness that plague the modern, yet slightly older millennials,” she says.
“We should frame it.”
“You want me to send it to you? As soon as we get back to your place ’cause there is no service out here.” She sings the last bit.
“Yeah, send me all of them. And I’ll email you the photos I took.”
“Thank you.” She leans against my arm and I shift my camera out of the way and wrap my arm around her shoulder. I want to tell her that I’m enjoying the mountain in a different way now that she’s here. I want to tell her that she’s making the trek out to these more remote spots easier. She’s quieting the dull buzz in my head that usually comes with the noises of the forest. I like having her with me.
“What brought your grandfather up here?” she asks.
“The tent boom in the seventies.”
“What?” She looks up at me. She has this little smile on her face.
“Lightweight tent engineering was a game changer. They needed more rangers and he was the first to show up.”
“And now here you are.”
&n
bsp; “Yup.” A natural silence falls between us again. I just need to enjoy this morning and not think ahead. She’s going to leave, she has to. I pull her closer and kiss the top of her head. And then I hear it. Movement on the trail.
“There's some people coming, that way,” I say as I nod to where the trail splits down to the southwest It’s less worn, more overgrown and not the way I usually travel to this point.
She stands away from me and I watch her as she presses her hands behind her against the boulder. She swallows and keeps her eyes trained on the trees.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. I'm fine,” she says, but her eyes have suddenly gone wild.
A few moments later two hikers come up the trail, two women. One Black, one Asian. They’re holding hands even though they're loaded down with gear.
“Good morning,” the Black woman says in a chipper voice.
“Morning,” I reply with a nod.
“Glad to see we’re not the only ones up to witness God’s glory at this ungodly hour.”
“It's the best time to witness it,” I say.
“Beautiful dog,” the other woman says. She holds her hand out as they come closer and smiles when Titus gives her palm a lick of hello. “Hey, buddy,” she coos.
“You guys local?” the Black woman asks.
“I am, yeah. You heading up to Dixon’s Peak?”
“Yes,” they both laugh.
“Is there a shortcut? We want to get up there by lunchtime,” the Asian woman says.
“This is the best way. The only shortcut I know of involves a helicopter ride over a ravine. You should be at the site by eleven if you keep a steady pace.”
“We better keep moving, babe,” The Black woman says. She has the look in her eye. I’m sure there’s a proposal at the end of their hike.
“Yeah. Thanks for the tip. You have a good one.”
“No problem. Enjoy the view.”
Both women nod their goodbyes and I watch them for half a second then look back to Claudia. She's not breathing right. I slip my lens cap on then run my hand down her back.
HAVEN: Beards & Bondage Page 15
