Trading Places

by Anita Cox

  As soon as we were up on the balcony, sitting in our lounge chairs I inquired how Stacy’s training was going.

  “Well, about that…I’ve hired a personal trainer. It seems that I’m a bit out of shape. So between all the sex and the trainer…I may have trouble walking around.”

  Laughter erupted along with coffee from my mouth. Continuing laughing as I dabbed coffee off with a napkin, I fought to talk. “Sore puss?”

  She shook her head, looking exasperated. “Dear Lord, the toy experiments have been brutal. I’ve have more shit clipped on me, inside me and vibrating around me than I care to admit. My legs, my ass and even my arms are sore. It’s been quite a workout.”

  John and I shot each other knowing looks. He was smart to stay silent during that portion of the discussion. There was nothing he could add about sore lady bits that wouldn’t come off as awkward.

  “Well, whatever you have to do,” I teased.

  Stacy stared at the table thinking quietly for a moment. “Can you get callouses on your junk?”

  The laughter commenced again.

  “Stay hydrated,” John added, “and uh, lubricated. That’s what I learned in the last class. I had some real chafing issues with Candy at first.” His face burned red. It had been awhile since I’d seen him blush.

  “Thanks.” Stacy shifted awkwardly in her chair. I felt bad for her, knowing the discomfort she must have felt.

  “Skip the panties and wear loose fitting clothing when you can. Frozen peas are great to sit on too when things are, shall we say, tender.” I snickered behind my cup.

  She rolled her eyes, “I’m glad you two are enjoying this.”

  “My whole body is about to be sore. As you said, there’s a ton of work to do. So don’t whine to me about sexual pain. Sissy.”

  Stacy shrugged her shoulders in acknowledgement.

  John left for a swim while we chatted alone. It was nice to have girl talk once in a while.

  “Don’t overdo your sessions, Stacy. Really, if you’re that sore, slow down. You don’t have to learn everything at once. Lord knows when we’ll be able to open the doors.” I tried to reassure her after seeing her resituate herself for the tenth time.

  “I know. I’ve been doing all I can out of sheer, morbid curiosity. It’s been so long since I’ve really had any sex to speak of, notwithstanding the time with you two. I think I overdid it just a bit.”

  “You know, maybe you should take a swim. I bet the cool water would feel good on the tender vittles.”

  Stacy’s left eyebrow shot toward her hair line. “How many names do you have for the female genitalia anyway?”

  “Sorry,” I choked out. It was hard not to tease her.

  “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t have a suit.”

  “It’s private. You don’t need one. As soon as John is done, just go skinny dipping. No biggie. We’ll leave you alone.”

  She nodded in agreement, surrendering to what I could only assume was the fire in her underpants.

  We headed downstairs to the kitchen where I grabbed a quick banana for breakfast. When John came through to go shower, Stacy headed into the pool area and I sat staring at the drawings.

  I had so much to figure out it made my head swim. Everything from walls, to flooring, paint and lighting had to be decided. I could see the images flying through my head, but couldn’t write notes fast enough.

  “What are you doing?” John asked, sitting down next to me.

  “We should go to a few clubs. Don’t you think?” I asked. “I mean, I’ve only been to one. Before I open a business, I should go to more than just one. I need to know what I like and dislike about these places, so we can make the perfect club.”

  He put up his hands in surrender. “Gee, I just don’t know if I can handle going to a handful of swing clubs with you. That’s too much to ask.”

  “Yeah, I can see why that would be a challenge.” I rolled my eyes. “Let’s go this weekend. We’ll do Friday and Saturday. That’s two clubs down. Then we’ll hit it again next weekend.”

  He shook his head. “Not next weekend. That won’t work.”

  I looked at him, puzzled. “Why not?”

  “According to my calendar, that’s when Mother Nature is really rude to you for a few days.”

  Nice. He’s keeping track of my periods now?

  “I find it disturbing that you know that and I don’t. But I switched to the birth control shot. I haven’t had a period in three months.” Holy uncomfortable, Batman!

  “You still get quite cranky. Just an observation.” He ran his fingers through his hair. The conversation was making him nervous.

  “Right…thanks. But I’ll be fine.”

  This man was starting to know me better than I knew myself. What did he do, set an app on his phone to warn him when I turned into a chocolate-obsessed beast possessed by demons?

  “I’m here with you every step of the way, babe.” John kissed my forehead and retreated upstairs.

  Stacy thanked me for the swim as she left the house.

  I sat alone staring at the drawings. I had a ton of work ahead of me.

  Chapter 20

  The next few days flew by. The unpacking was finished. New furniture had been bought and delivered, and our new home was now complete. My office was completely furnished and boxes of material from the new branch had been delivered with a note that I was to work from home for a few weeks.

  I had gone shopping alone for the first time in recent history and purchased lingerie by myself. I had a cute, hot-pink corset with ruffles around the cleavage area, black leather panties with hot pink trim and black-and-hot-pink garter and hose.

  John wasn’t home yet and I had plenty of time to get ready for our trip to a club. After relaxing in the hot tub, I went for a refreshing swim. I tried to clear my mind, but it was next to impossible with thoughts of the club and my new career flying through my brain faster than I could handle. Finding myself unable to settle on a singular thought, I turned up the music as I hit the shower.

  I danced and sang in the shower as I prepared for the night ahead. We were going to do research, but there was no reason we couldn’t have fun too. After all, how long was it going to take to look around and make mental notes of likes and dislikes?

  A new club meant new playmates and that was always an exciting prospect. It could also be incredibly awkward, but I tried to ignore that possibility. The concern about running into someone I knew had run through my head on more than one occasion.

  My brain finally shut down as I sang one of my favorite songs while moisturizing post shower. No thoughts were clogging my brain, only lyrics. Humming, I flipped through the clothes hanging in my closet. I really wanted to look hot. There was a burning desire to drive John wild.

  I finally settled on a tight black miniskirt and glittery blue spaghetti strap shirt that hung loose around my breasts. Just enough to hide the girl parts but tease him at the same time. At the back of the closet were my knee length, high-heeled boots. Those would be perfect. Digging through, I pulled them out and buffed them to perfection.

  I packed a bag for the two of us, adding a few of my favorite toys, extra condoms and several pieces of lingerie, including my latest purchase.

  Hearing the shower, I knew John was home, but giving me plenty of room to get ready. So I grabbed my things and as soon as I was dressed, started rolling my hair. Tonight, I wanted big, obnoxious hair with lots of wild curls.

  As soon as the rollers were in, I applied my makeup and headed to the bar to make a pre-game drink. John must have heard the martini shaker.

  “Candy, can you make one for me too? I’m nervous for some reason.” He called from the top of the stairs.

  “Coming right up!” I shook my head. By now, we should be pros at this, not nervous. But the nerves weren’t bad. I wondered if it wasn’t partially due to the excitement, but nerves were nerves, none-the-less.

  “I have a surprise for you,” John said as he swaggered int
o the bar.

  “What’s that?” Absentminded, I poured the drinks into martini glasses and handed one to John.

  “I’ve rented a limo for the weekend. The club we’re going to tonight is an on-premise club, but you can’t stay. We have a suite a few miles away. Tomorrow, the limo will take us to the second club where we can stay and it’ll take us home on Sunday morning.” He kissed my neck as soon as he was done talking.

  “Holy shit, how much did you spend?” My mouth fell open. We had to dump a lot of money into the club and it seemed wasteful.

  “Candy, I told you…I won’t have to worry about money any more. The houses I sold can carry me for the next twenty years and I’m still doing more. Just relax and let me do this.” His hand slid down my arm, then he clutched my hand, bringing it to his mouth.

  The man kissed my hand. He kissed my hand! Who does that anymore?

  “Now, I need to go shave and get dressed. The limo will be here in half an hour. Will you be ready?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I just need to finish my hair.” I pointed up at the rollers.

  John laughed. “Damn, you look so fuckin’ hot in that outfit, I didn’t even notice the rollers.” He smacked my ass before leaving me.

  I snickered and rubbed my ass as I made my way back up the stairs. How could this man be romantic and playful at the same time and get away with it?

  Once I was satisfied with my coiffure, I pulled on my boots and grabbed the bag.

  “No you don’t!” John said snatching the bag from my hands. “That’s my job.”

  “Ah,” I said, raising an eyebrow, “chivalry lives?”

  John gave me a weird, formal bow before grabbing my hand and leading me downstairs. He was certainly in a peculiar mood.

  He peeked out the window in the door. “Limo is here. Ready to go, beautiful?”

  I grinned and nodded. The nerves had settled to excitement and I climbed in the limo. The privacy window was up, champagne was chilled, uncorked and waiting. There were hors d’oeuvres waiting as well.

  “Wow, you went all out!” I giggled as I threw my legs over his lap.

  “Only the best for you. This is our second step on this journey. I thought it should be a celebration as well as research. We have a lot to celebrate, don’t we?”

  Instead of responding, I planted a hot kiss on his lips, nibbling on his bottom lip before giving him a little space.

  “Wow,” he gasped.

  “Wow, indeed.” I winked at him, then poured two glasses of champagne. “So what’s on the menu?”

  John lifted the silver lid on the first plate. “Well, I know how much you like your sushi.” He gave me a knowing smile. “We also have,” he looked under the next lid, “shrimp cocktail, bruschetta, and little cucumber sandwiches.”

  He fed me appetizers for the first half hour of the ride. The champagne had been a nice touch and went well with the food he chose.

  By the time we arrived at the club, I’d had enough champagne that I was loose and relaxed. John carried in our bag and I paid the fees and filled out the card before getting the grand tour.

  “My name is Jacquleen.” Our hostess’s enormous breasts swayed back and forth as she spoke. I tried not to laugh watching John’s head move with them.

  “This is our bar area. We have a liquor license, so you can buy drinks here. Smoking is allowed on the deck only. You can go out there nude, it’s completely private.” She waved around as she spoke.

  We walked through the dimly lit building. I noted that while I didn’t want bright lights, the lack of light was uncomfortable. I had to be certain I didn’t do that in our club.

  “The rooms are through here,” she said pointing down the hall. “No clothing beyond this point, except for lingerie or underwear.”

  “Is there a locker room?” I asked.

  Jacquleen gave me a dirty look. “Of course there is.”

  My partying mood was quickly waning.

  “Are condoms provided?” John asked.

  “No, you can purchase those yourself. If you didn’t think to bring any, we sell them at the bar.” She rolled her eyes. “Are you two new to the lifestyle?”

  I wanted to punch her in the throat. “No, I think we can find our way from here, thanks.”

  She shrugged and walked away.

  “Bitch,” John grumbled.

  “No doubt,” I said. “Let’s go find the locker room and stash our stuff. I need a drink. She was a total buzz kill.”

  “So hospitality has to be our number one priority. I want to leave already.” John said shaking his head.

  Hearing a locker down an adjacent hall, I grabbed John’s hand and pulled him in that direction. What I saw when I looked in the locker room turned my stomach. It was filthy. Dirty towels were everywhere along with wadded paper towels with God-knows-what on them.

  “At least the alcohol will sanitize the glass.” I gulped.

  “We’re not playing here tonight. Let’s have a drink and leave.” John wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Don’t need a staph infection.”

  I nodded in agreement. This club was a prime example of what not to do.

  As we approached the bar a cute girl with long red pigtails stood behind it. “Hello! What can I get you?”

  “Beer.” Apparently, John was unwilling to test her skills.

  I smiled at her, thankful for a friendly face. “What’s your specialty?”

  “Huh?” she scrunched her face.

  “Do you have a drink that is your own, or that you make really well?” Dear Lord.

  “Oh, uh…” she looked at the ceiling deep in thought. “I’ll make something special for you.”

  She opened a can of beer and slid it to John. Then she pulled out a highball glass and started pouring in a bunch of liquor before adding a splash of Coke. I could only deduce it was her attempt at a Long Island Iced Tea.

  “Thirty bucks,” she said, smiling at John.

  He laughed and handed her the money.

  “Raped for two drinks,” he said as we headed for a table. We found a spot in a corner.

  “I’m afraid to even taste this,” I said as I swirled my drink.

  “That’s going to put some hair on your chest,” he teased.

  I braved a sip, regretting it as soon as it slid down my throat. The fire made its way to my belly where it sat and burned. I coughed several times, trying to get some oxygen into my lungs.

  “I’ll be back.” John went to the bar, bringing back a can of coke and a glass. He poured a little of the nasty mixture into the bottom of a glass then filled the rest with Coke.

  I braved a sip. It was nasty, but drinkable. “God, let’s go have a smoke.”

  I carried my two glasses, trying not to stumble down the dark hallway to the glass doors leading to the deck.

  The deck was full of people. Not all of them smoking, but there was a crowd.

  “What the hell did we get ourselves into?” The woman behind me was speaking to her friend.

  “This is just horrible. I wanted to party, but I’m afraid to use the toilet.”

  This was my cue. “Hey ladies,” I said holding out my hand. “I’m Candy, this is John.”

  He nodded at them.

  “I couldn’t help but overhearing that you feel the same way we do. I’m just grossed out right now.”

  “Oh man, I know. This place had high ratings online.” The woman had jet black hair knotted in the back with the remainder falling low on her back. “I’m Chanelle.”

  “I’m Becky.”

  “We’re thinking about leaving. I’d rather get a room. My wife and I can have plenty of fun on our own.”

  I turned to see who was talking. A tall man with salt and pepper hair was holding a glass of scotch. The woman next to him was a buxom blonde who needed a little help in the makeup department, but was otherwise attractive.

  Others joined in the conversation, echoing the same sentiment. Everyone wanted to leave. The place was nasty, and the
drinks were worse.

  “I have an idea,” John whispered in my ear. “I’ll be right back.”

  “So what brings you two here?” the buxom blonde asked.

  “Actually, John and I are opening our own club. So we’re club hopping and making a list of things we do and do not like. I think this place filled up our ‘do not’ list.”

  Three of the girls squealed.

  “How exciting!” Chanelle clapped.

  “I’m pretty thrilled. But this is just not what I had anticipated. This whole experience has been horrid. Not one person is naked and that’s a bad sign.”

  John stepped back on the balcony. “Hey everyone, I have two adjoining suites at a hotel. We’re moving the party for anyone that wants to join us.”

  “John?” I poked him in the ribs.

  “C’mon, we got what we came here for. Now we can go have some fun.” He kissed me hard and fast.

  “I wish we could, but we took a cab.” Becky said, whining.

  I smiled at her. “That’s okay, we brought a limo. You can hitch a ride with us.”

  “Here,” salt and pepper guy handed John a fifty dollar bill.

  “No,” he said shaking his head. “We’re not charging for a party. We just want to have a good time.”

  “It’s towards the room. Take it or I’ll be offended.”

  I grabbed the money out of his hand. “Thank you.”

  He laughed. “You two must be married. The wife always gets the dough.”

  The crowd of ten followed us back outside. The limo driver waited for the other cars to pull behind him before he left the driveway.

  “Thank you for doing this. I thought our night was ruined.” Chanelle patted John on the knee.

  He nodded while uncorking a fresh bottle of champagne. “Here, to wash that taste out of your mouth.”

  I took the glass, kissing him on the cheek. “You sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.”

  He snickered, shaking his head as he poured glasses for our guests. “The ride is short so drink up.”

  Becky reached over, pulling Chanelle’s tits out of her top. She poured a little champagne on them and started licking it off.