Trading Places

by Anita Cox

  The limo dropped off Mike and his girlfriend before taking us home. When we got inside, we both immediately collapsed in the bed.

  A four-hour nap was all I could allow myself. Groggy, I dragged myself to the shower, then downstairs for some coffee.

  Comfy in my yoga pants and hoody, I padded into my office. A few more boxes had been delivered from work. I cut the tape on the inside. The entire eight-by-ten box was full of porn movies from my new clients.

  Porn. Hours and hours’ worth of porn.

  The next box contained pamphlets, brochures and erotica novels. Sex was my life now. I began to wonder if they made Viagra for women. I might need it.

  I did the only thing I could do. I called my friends.

  “Candy!” Janette, ever the energetic one, seemed too eager to hear from me.

  “I have a favor to ask,” I began, “so I’ll cut to the chase.”

  “Sounds good, what can I do for you, dear?”

  “Come to my place after lunch. Dress comfortably. And by that, I mean sweats, no gowns. Okay?”

  “Got it.” She hung up, not asking any other questions.

  I called Stacy and Olivia. They agreed to meet me as well.

  “God woman, don’t you ever sleep a full eight hours?” John stood at the door to my office.

  “I have a new business to open for some very wealthy people with high expectations. We also have our own business to get off the ground. There’s no time for beauty sleep right now.” I opened my laptop and booted it up.

  “So why are you inviting everyone over?” He asked, rubbing his eyes.

  “Come on in here,” I waved.

  John walked in looking down at the boxes. “What’s that?”

  “Work. I have to watch all this porn and I want the girls’ opinions as well.” I clicked on my email inbox and let it start to download. “That’s a lot of porn to watch. Right?”

  “Holy shit!” He started rifling through the box. “There must be thirty or forty of them in here.”

  I sighed. “I know.”

  “Mind if I borrow a few?”

  “After I watch them, sure.” I teased. “Animal.”

  He shook his head. “I’m still fuzzy. I’m getting in the pool.”

  I nodded at him, then turned to my laptop. After not even having it on for two days, I had nearly a hundred emails to sort through. This was now my life.

  By the time I finished, the girls started arriving. Everyone was dressed comfortably like I’d asked.

  “So, why are we all here?” Olivia asked.

  I smiled. “Well,” I grabbed the box of porn and set it on the dining room table. “I have all this porn to watch and my clients need feedback. So here’s what I’m asking. We’ll watch some today. Then I’ll send some home with you. In a few days, we’ll swap with each other. Make notes on each of them and tuck them inside the cover.

  “I’ll take ten of them,” Janette said. “I have a few girlfriends who would love to help, especially if it means porn free of renting, or the embarrassment of picking them out.”

  “Perfect.” I grabbed a few from the box along with the small notepads I’d stuck in there. John, being the darling he was, already had drinks and snacks waiting for us in the theatre room.

  “Holy shit, porn on a 72-inch television?” Olivia started laughing. “That’ll be the biggest dick I’ve ever seen.”

  We all snickered.

  I put the first one in the player. I don’t know why I expected this group of women to be mature. However, the amount of giggling and vulgar comments told me just how wrong I was. But, I settled for having fun.

  It was around nine in the evening when we decided to call it a night. I was happy to find that while they were laughing, all of my friends took detailed notes of their likes, dislikes and what they wanted to see.

  As soon as everyone cleared out, I started picking up. By the looks of the theatre room, one would think that a group of teenagers had squatted there. Empty soda cans, snack wrappers and wadded up napkins were strewn everywhere.

  “You girls sure know how to party.” John teased as he started helping.

  “I’m flat-out exhausted.” Throwing the last piece of trash in the bin I stood up and stretched.

  “Let’s turn in early. We have a big week ahead of us.

  “Actually, I’m a little stiff. How about the hot tub first?” I put my arm around John’s waist and my head against his chest, squeezing.

  “I’d be stiff after that many hours of porn watching too.” He chuckled as he squeezed me back.

  Clothes thrown on the floor, I eased into the hot water. “Oh man, that’s nice.”

  John slid in behind me, rubbing my shoulders. Between the hot water and his strong hands, the tension and stiffness started to ease away.

  “Candy?”

  “Hmm?” I rolled my neck.

  “Promise me something.” He pulled me back, wrapping his arms around me.

  “What’s that?” My heavy lids barely open, I tried to look at him over my shoulder.

  “No matter how much work we have, or how stressed we get, we always take time out together…not to drift apart.”

  “I promise. Even if I have to schedule it on my damned calendar, I’ll make time for us.”

  A sigh of relief escaped his lips. “Good, then let’s go to bed.”

  Chapter 27

  When the closing came, I had butterflies in my stomach. By the end of closing, John and I both had sore wrists and huge smiles.

  We drove straight to the property from the title office. The weeds had nearly taken over the property since the last time we’d been there.

  “Glad we thought to bring boots.” John laced his up as quickly as he could.

  “Me too.” My heart raced as I struggled to get the last boot on and race John to the entry of the barn.

  He got his boot laced up and sprinted in before I could, laughing the entire time. When I made it inside, I screeched. John had me scooped up, swinging me around before I knew what happened.

  Neither one of us could contain our excitement.

  “Now, the work begins.” He kissed me on the forehead.

  He wasn’t kidding about work. Once we both had gloves on, John handed me a weed eater and threw the strap of another over his shoulder.

  “Why don’t we just mow it?” I asked.

  “Don’t know what’s underneath.” He shrugged. “So first, we weed eat.”

  Two hours later, we’d only managed to clear the acreage from the building to the road. You could see the barn and drive now. John lowered the tailgate of his truck. “Come on, sit down and have some lunch.”

  We ate in silence, my arms were hurting so bad, I could hardly lift my sandwich to my mouth. No exercise plan in the world was going to do me as much good as working on this property. No wonder John was so muscular.

  When the sun started to set, we had no choice but to stop work and head home, though I wasn’t too brokenhearted about it. I suddenly found myself very thankful we had a hot tub.

  “Don’t touch yourself or anything else until you’ve had a shower,” John ordered.

  “Why the hell not?”

  “Because you could get poison ivy all over everything. The large white bottle of soap in the shower is ivy wash. All clothes need to go in the plastic bag,” he said as he pulled a bag out of the cabinet, “then get in the shower. Wash your hands first, then the rest of you.”

  I did as he told me. The thought of poison ivy covering my body was enough to make me follow orders. As soon as I had finished with the ivy wash I went about using my own products.

  As soon as I was done, I wrapped myself in a robe and headed to my office to check my email. A message from the new owners had asked me to meet them in the morning at the new office building. Suddenly, I felt less equipped to handle this than ever before.

  “There’s boxes that were delivered for you.” John set them down on my desk. “Dinner is ready whenever you are.”

/>   “What did you order?” I asked as I cut the packing tape.

  “Order? He laughed. “Sweetheart as many years as I’ve been doing this, I learned to use a crockpot. Throw it in before you leave in the morning and dinner is ready when you come home.”

  This man, this man was mine and he was perfect. Every time I thought he couldn’t amaze me anymore, he’d pull it off again.

  Looking inside the boxes, I found every movie the company had sent with notes from a dozen women. Thanks to my girls, I had a nice dissection to use.

  I set the box aside and headed for the kitchen. I was starving and didn’t want to risk cold food. A meeting in the morning meant I needed some rest and at that moment, I wasn’t certain I could even lift a spoon to my mouth.

  * * * *

  The next morning I suffered with painful calves as I strode in my heels into the new building.

  “Ah, Ms. Kavana, you’re early.” Mr. Takahashi held out his hand to greet me.

  Switching my coffee cup to my left hand, I shook his, giving the same firm grip men used. It was a nice trick taught to me early in college. A firm hand showed confidence and it was important to give that impression whether you were comfortable or not.

  “Good morning Mr. Takahashi.”

  “Please, you must call me Hori. Now let me introduce you.”

  My heart jumped. Introduce me to who? I followed him into a conference room. Inside were five people, men and women.

  “This is Candy Kavana, your new advertising executive. Candy, I’ll let them make introductions.” He stepped back and allowed everyone to introduce themselves. Their names escaped me as quickly as they came in.

  “Do you all have business cards?” I’d certainly hoped they did. Thankfully, they each had a card to exchange with me. “Please call my cell for now. My cards don’t have my new office number.” Each of them were from various adult entertainment industries. Some were pornographers, some were publishers of erotica and one had an adult toy manufacturing business.

  Hori asked everyone to excuse the two of us. As we walked away he took me by my arm, which was sore.

  “I want you to throw a party tomorrow for your new clients. Please, don’t make me spell this out for you, but make sure it’s industry appropriate.”

  “In other words, sexual.”

  “Indeed.”

  “You’re not implying I fuck them, are you?” I cringed. That was a little crass.

  “Not unless you want to. You don’t necessarily have to provide them with sex. Visuals are enough.” He nodded. “Shall we.”

  The meeting was odd. They all eyed me as if I were fresh meat on a platter. Maybe it was fatigue. Maybe it was that I hadn’t said anything intelligent. Dammit, I needed Olivia now more than ever.

  “I’d like to invite you to an intimate little party at my house tomorrow evening at eight. We can have a little business and a little fun.” Smiles began spreading over their faces. “I’m excited to work with all of you on our new venture.”

  That was a bold-faced lie. I wanted to go home and curl up in the fetal position.

  Hori took us all on a tour of the new building. He had spared no expense. The place was decked out with everything but a staff. When the tour was over, Hori excused me and called limos to take our guests to their hotel.

  I called John once I got to the car. I couldn’t work on the property today as I had boards to prepare and a party to plan at the last fucking minute.

  “I’ll be there to help with the party. I have my guys working on stuff you can’t do right now anyway.”

  Perfect man.

  As soon as I got home, I stripped down and threw on a pair of John’s boxers and a t-shirt, putting my hair in a bun.

  I phoned Janette first. I needed ideas how to find staff and get around the sexual harassment and discrimination laws. As usual, Janette was helpful, spouting ideas. By mid-afternoon I had several interviews scheduled. As much as I loathed interviewing, I needed help.

  I’d also gotten the number for the caterer John had used for our housewarming party. It cost me an extra five hundred dollars due to short notice. Thankfully, I had an expense account to take care of these things.

  Another expense was incurred as I had a cleaning crew scheduled to clean the house from top to bottom. They were coming in the morning, so I had to remember to tell John not to walk around in the buff.

  My head was spinning by dinner time. Whatever was in the crock pot had the entire house smelling like heaven. My stomach churned. I had to remember I could not exist on coffee alone. It was a bad habit when I got busy—too busy to eat.

  John wasn’t home, so I dished out the stew and got to work on my story boards. I had to throw together a marketing plan and a party in less than forty-eight hours. I needed wine.

  Half a bottle later, I was satisfied with my presentation. I printed off the final photos before leaving my office for the night.

  I heard the gentle waves of the pool slapping against the walls. John had come home and stayed away so I could concentrate.

  “Hey sexy!” He smiled and waved from the center of the pool. “Get in. The water is great.”

  I put my wine glass down, stripped to my birthday suit and jumped in. He swam up to me and gave me a quick kiss.

  “You have no idea how great it is just to see your face.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. A full, wet body hug was just what I needed.

  “A clingy Candy. This is a side I haven’t seen before.”

  I leaned my head back, dipping my bun in the cool water. “Ah, John, it’s just that all work and no play sucks. I just wanted some sugar.” I kissed him, nibbling his lip as I pulled away.

  After some splashing in the pool, dinner and a hot shower, I was spent. Snuggled in bed with John, I was blissfully on my way to sleep.

  Chapter 28

  The day was a flurry of activity with a cleaning crew, papers flying in my office and strangers running in and out interviewing for the staff I needed.

  I’d hired everyone I needed to, except my own assistant, which I needed in the worst way. My phone ringing nearly sent me over the edge. I didn’t recognize the number. Tempted to ignore the call, I groaned knowing ignoring it would mean I’d have one more thing I had to do later.

  “Candy.”

  “Is this, uh, the woman I met at the party this past weekend? The one who was looking for a bartender?”

  Rachel!

  “Yes. Is this Rachel?” Hopeful, I crossed my fingers.

  “Yeah, I uh, I have bad news.”

  Dammit! “Oh?”

  She sighed on the other end. “I just lost my job, and with school payments, I have to find another right away. I’m afraid I won’t have time for two jobs and school. I’m really sorry. I really want to work with you. I just gotta find something quick and I know you won’t be open for a while.”

  “What are you going to school for, Rachel?” I had to keep her on the phone while I thought. I liked her.

  “I have six months left until I get my Associates in Business Management. Why?”

  Yes! “I think I can help.” I gave her my address and she agreed to meet me with her resume.

  A glance at my watch had me in a near panic. I was running out of time to get ready for the party. Running up the stairs, I tripped twice on the way to the shower. I managed to get showered and in my robe right before the doorbell rang.

  Rachel’s eyes nearly fell out of her head. I can only imagine what she must be thinking.

  “Sorry, I’m trying to get ready for a cocktail party I’m hosting in a few hours. So please, excuse the robe.” I waved her inside.

  “I brought my resume,” she said, handing it to me.

  Once inside my office, I felt a little better sitting behind the desk. I scanned her resume. She hadn’t had much experience in the way of office work.

  “Rachel, I need you to be absolutely honest when you answer my questions. I don’t have much in the way of room
for error.” I glanced at the clock on my desk. Shit.

  Rachel nodded.

  “Okay, I know this is the fastest and weirdest interview of your life. But I assure you, I pay my people well. So, since you have no office experience to speak of, I need to know a few things. Are you organized?”

  “Very. I have a tad bit of OCD.”

  “Do you take direction well?” She nodded. “Pass a drug test and background check?” Again she nodded. “Now the big one…I work for a large marketing firm. We’ve recently opened a division for the adult industry. I’m heading up the new division and I’m in desperate need of a personal assistant.”

  “Like sex stuff?”

  This poor girl. I was overwhelming her. “You don’t have to handle any of that. It’s all appointment setting, getting me coffee, party planning and things like that.”

  Rachel leaned back in the chair and stared at me. I knew it. It was too much. Hell, John and I had just ravaged the girl after a huge swingers’ party.

  “When can I start?”

  I still had no assistant and this party…”Wait. What?”

  “When can I start?” she said again. “I’m desperate and this seems like a good place to start. As long as I don’t have to, uh, have sex with people or anything.”

  “No, your job is legitimate. And how do you feel about staying and helping with the party?”

  She looked down at her jeans and concert t-shirt. “I, uh, am a little under dressed.”

  I grinned…from our time in the shower I knew she was the same size as I was. “I got your back. Do you have mine?”

  She smiled back. “I don’t understand.”

  Two hours later, we were both in cocktail dresses and heels. John came running into the bedroom stark naked.

  “Oh God!” Rachel threw her hand up over her eyes.

  “What the hell?” John covered his junk.

  “Sorry, uh, we’ll meet you downstairs.” I guided Rachel out of the room since she refused to take her hand off of her eyes.

  We both started to giggle. “It’s not like you’ve never seen it before.” I teased her.

  “Like I expect some random naked dude to run in a room. It startled me.” Her face was still red.