In love and ruins

by Rachael Tonks

  “Baby.” Izzy strokes his arm gently. “She might be in shock. Give her time to process this.”

  “Me… what? I’m fine.” I look between the pair of them, my eyebrows drawn and my stare narrowed. Brax pushes his hands through his hair, his shoulders slumping.

  “I just don’t know what to do,” he says with a defeated sigh. “Taking action against him, eradicating the problem just doesn’t seem right. I mean, technically, he hasn’t done anything yet. But he’s a danger and I don’t want you to have to watch your back constantly, worried about him taking what he wants. These Savages play dirty. Real fucking dirty.”

  “What? You think he’s just going to kidnap me and keep me locked up at the clubhouse?” I say with a scoff. “You’re out of your mind.”

  “Tara.” He blows out a controlled breath, reaching for my arm. “You need to take this seriously. You don’t know the MC like I do.”

  “Brax,” I raise my voice a little, “I was born into this life of crime. My uncle and my cousin have always had dealings with the MC.”

  “But your mom protected you, Tara. That’s why she kept you away from Carter as much as she could.”

  “She thought she was protecting me. But I overheard their conversations. The stories of the men Carter had killed. The deals that made him millions and the one that lost him more men than he could count on both hands. I may have just been a child, but I was all too aware of what went on. All of it.”

  “You just need to be careful,” Izzy says with a smile. “You’re my best friend. There’s no way I’m losing you to some crazy, leather-wearing mad man.” She chuckles, and I know it’s her way of trying to ease the situation.

  “As hard as this is going to be to hear, I have to keep up good communication with Nate. He’s the only one that knows. He won’t let anything happen to you,” Brax informs me.

  My heart sinks at the words that fall from his mouth. He won’t let anything happen to me. But all I want is him.

  “Why can’t he stand by my side and protect me, huh?” My eyes bore into Brax, waiting for him to answer. Because, when all is said and done, I want to be worth the fight.

  “He was born a Savage. He cannot leave or go against his brothers. Not even for you. They’ll kill him first. He’s been given a direct order. Failure to follow will result in consequences. That means either you or him. Believe it or not, Tara, he is protecting you.”

  Panic races through my veins like I’ve been shot with adrenaline. I jerk my eyes to Izzy, her hand covering her mouth.

  “What?” Brax asks, looking between us.

  “Last night, Brax. He took me home…” I cringe, not really wanting to relay the full story. But there was no denying the look in Brax’s eye. He is angry and concerned.

  “Have you heard from him since he left your place?” he asks and I respond with a shake of my head. Rushing to dig out his cell phone, he holds it to his ear. Scraping the chair back, he steps and heads outside, all the while shaking his head from side to side. My eyes are glued to him as he makes his way through the door and outside, my throat bobbing when I swallow the dread that has built there. Suddenly, I feel cold and I can’t help but shiver.

  “What have I done?” I whisper, crossing my arms over my chest. “What if he’s been hurt… or worse?” I choke out, my throat feeling scratchy and unexpectedly dry. “Damn.” I press my hand to my throat. “Where’s my coffee?” I crane my neck, looking for the girl who had served us. I see her approaching and suddenly need the comfort that the coffee offers.

  “I’m sure he’ll be okay,” Izzy replies. “I’m not sure how anyone would know.”

  I nod, looking sideways as the young girl places the coffee in front of me. “Can I get you anything else?”

  I shake my head, declining her offer.

  “We’re good, thanks,” Izzy replies in an upbeat tone. Wrapping my hands around the large coffee cup, I bring it to my mouth, my hands shaking as I slurp the warm coffee.

  “Shit, this is good coffee.”

  “It’s the best, right?” Izzy says with a smile, only for it to fade almost immediately. The door flies open and Brax storms back toward us.

  “What? What is it, Brax?” Izzy asks, stepping up and standing in front of him.

  “It’s Nate…” he starts, but I don’t give him a chance to continue. I’m immediately up from my seat.

  “Is he okay? What’s happened?” I question him, tugging on his arm.

  “He got in trouble last night at the clubhouse. I gotta go see how he is.”

  “I’m coming with you.”

  “No way. No fucking way.”

  “I need to know he’s okay, Brax. Please…”

  “I said no, Tara. You go into the office with Izzy. I’ll call you as soon as I know anything. But stay at the office. I need to know you are okay. Got it?” Leaning forward, he kisses Izzy on the forehead before snaking his hands onto the back of her head and moving his mouth close to her ear. He whispers something I can’t quite make out. She nods, wrapping her arms around his neck before kissing him deeply.

  “Love you,” she murmurs against his lips.

  Rubbing the tip of his nose against hers, he smiles widely and mouths his “I love you,” before turning and racing out of the café again.

  “We should go to the office,” Izzy says, grabbing her purse from the table.

  “Not until I’ve had my coffee,” I say with a tut. “This is the best damn coffee I’ve ever tasted,” I say, reaching for my huge cup.

  “We’ll get it to go.” She smirks.

  “What did Brax say to you before he left?” I ask with a tilt of my head, my eyes hard on her.

  “What?” Her eyes bug out. “That he loved me?”

  Rolling my eyes, I exhale heavily. “No, you know that’s not what I’m talking about. He whispered something to you, something he didn’t want me to hear. What was it?”

  “Something he didn’t want you to hear.” She shakes her head giving me a sarcastic look. Walking toward the counter, she orders two coffees to go.

  “Izzy, come on. I’m so sick of being left out of the loop. I get that you two are married and totally inseparable, but if it concerns me I have the right to know, surely?”

  Shooting me a sad smile, she says, “You’re right.” She sighs a little. “But, he’s just looking out for you, honey. He wants me to make sure you stay at the office with me today. No visits or seeing clients.”

  I throw my arms in the air. “But that’s my job.”

  “Not today,” she says giving me a look of warning. “We have to keep you safe. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

  “You know I can’t promise that,” I say with a serious face. Izzy chuckles, tapping the top of my arm playfully.

  “I’m being serious, Tara,” she says, smiling at the waitress who places two to-go coffees on the side. Grabbing them she says her thanks and turns to make her way out.

  “What, you’re not going to pay her?” I say jabbing my thumb over my shoulder as I follow after Izzy.

  “I don’t have to.” She smirks. “Brax just bought the place. We officially own the best coffee house in the area.”

  “Unbelievable,” I mumble to myself. Following Izzy outside, she walks over to the huge black Mercedes parked just out front.

  Stopping just beside it, the driver jumps out, opening the rear door for her. I frown a little, my nostrils widening as I look at her getting in the car.

  “Ma’am.” He offers his arm out to me, guiding me around the other side of the car. I follow, albeit, a little bemused. I fall into the luxurious leather seats and immediately turn to Izzy. Holding out her hand, she offers me the coffee and I take it from her, never once breaking my stare.

  “What?” she asks, widening her eyes.

  “We’re getting driven around in a goddamn Mercedes,” I all but screech. “What has happened to you?” I say jokingly.

  “It’s not like we can’t afford it,” she replies quietly
as she reaches for her belt, pulling it over her shoulder and securing it into the clip. I run my hands through the front of my hair, removing the few strands that have fallen onto my face.

  “He’s a businessman. We have to look the part.” She continues to speak quietly. “You know I’m not into materialistic things, but it’s all part of the show.”

  “I feel like I don’t even know who you are anymore,” I say with a stifled laugh.

  Heading the short distance to the office, I can’t help but notice a hell of a lot of men standing outside the building.

  “What’s with the welcome party?” I ask as I gawk out of the window.

  “Extra security, that’s all.”

  “That’s all,” I repeat, looking at her with wide eyes. “Izzy,” I sigh but pause for a second. “I love that he cares so much, but I really don’t think I need protecting. Don’t you think if Jeffries was going to come for me, he would have done it a long time ago? It’s been a year since Carter… well, you know, since he passed. If what Jeffries said was true, wouldn’t he have staked his claim sooner?”

  “I guess you’re right. So why now?”

  “Maybe it’s all bullshit. Maybe it’s a story he made up to keep us apart.”

  “But why?” She turns her body until she’s facing me. “Why would he not want you two to be together?”

  “Good question,” I say with a raise of my brows. My door opens, causing me to jerk a little at the unexpectedness. “Ma’am.” The driver holds out his hand to me.

  “No need, honestly, I can manage,” I reply, offering him a smile. He nods, stepping back to allow me to make my way out of the car. Izzy steps out of the car and we both stand on the sidewalk, looking at the mass of men all talking in hushed voices.

  “What’s going on here?” I ask, and they all spin, turning to face us.

  “Tara.” One guy holds out his hand to me. He has a bald head, and I notice a radio in his ear. I glare at his hand, grimacing a little. Dropping the hand he offered me, he says, “Please, let’s speak inside.”

  Tutting, I step toward the door. Another one of the guys opens it and I make my way inside.

  “Don’t you think this is all a little unnecessary?” I sip on the coffee, my eyes finding Izzy who has followed me in.

  “Please, Tara. I know this has all been a little scary, but believe me, these men are here to protect us. Don’t take it out on them.”

  Looking at the guy who appears to be studying me, I say, “You all need to stand down. There is no need really.”

  “NO,” Izzy shouts. “This is not your call to make, Tara.”

  “But… it’s too much. I get that he cares, that he’s trying to protect me, but it’s all making me feel a little claustrophobic,” I say, my free hand clutching my throat. Izzy continues to talk, but I’m zoned out, a mild panic setting in as I feel my anxiety grow. I feel a hand on me, guiding me upstairs and into the office. Words tumble from her mouth, but I can’t comprehend.

  “Tara.” Her face comes into my line of sight. “Honey, it’s okay,” she says, her voice calm and soothing. “I know this is a lot to take in, but you can never have too much protection. After what happened with me, I know he’s taking no chances.”

  I snap, suddenly digesting what she said. Jesus, this girl has been through so much shit, and here I am, freaking out when nothing has happened.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” I say wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into my embrace. I know just how hard Izzy works to deal with her nightmares. Most days she’s okay, but some days are harder than others. The memories haunt her and sleep evades her. “I’ve been silly, forgive me.”

  “The way you’re feeling is totally understandable. I get it,” she says parting from me and offering me her beautiful smile. For someone who has endured so much, her beauty shines through, even at the darkest times. I feel something buzzing in my purse. Placing my coffee down on the table, I reach inside, retrieving my phone and swiping across, answering the call.

  “Hello?” I answer as I wait for the unknown number to speak.

  “Tara.” The man’s voice is gruff down the receiver.

  “Yes, who’s this?”

  “You may remember me, you may not. This is Jeffries.”

  Placing my hand over the speaker, I drop it from my ear, stifling a gasp. “It’s Jeffries,” I whisper to Izzy.

  “Put it on speakerphone.” She points to the phone I have clasped in my hands. I do as she says, placing the phone on the table and initiating the speaker mode.

  “You still there?” he asks.

  “How did you get my number?” I question him and look at Izzy. She nods approvingly.

  “That’s not important.” His smug tone reeks through my phone.

  “It’s pretty important to me,” I reply snarkily.

  “I’ll cut to the chase, Tara.”

  “Please do,” I quip and I can’t help myself.

  “Such a livewire,” he chuckles. “You know, I like that about you. I think together we can make sparks.” Covering my mouth, I mock gag at his insinuation.

  “Tonight, I’m having a party. It’s an initiation, and it’s the best kind. You should come join us.”

  I look at Izzy, who is shaking her head mouthing “no.”

  “I’m really sorry, I can’t. But thank you for your kind invitation.”

  “That’s a shame.” He sighs. “I will get you here with me,” he continues. “You know it’s a shame you fell into the wrong Savages' lap. I would’ve liked to have had the first taste of that sweet pussy of yours.”

  “Excuse me?” I exclaim.

  “Yeah, I know about you and my son. He’s nothing more than an apprentice. You should come take a ride with the master.”

  “Never. Going. To. Happen,” I say before reaching down and ending the call.

  “Oh, God.” Izzy looks at me with fear in her eyes.

  “Who does he think he is?” I ask, scrunching up my nose.

  “A man that women don’t often say no to. Someone who is used to getting his own way.”

  Staring at the phone, the silence in the room is stifling. Despite the fact that I’m shaking like a leaf, I look at Izzy, her expression full of dread.

  “Well that was fucking creepy,” I say, breaking the silence.

  “Tara, please…” Her eyes falter shut, and she pulls out the chair, sliding into it.

  “My God, are you okay?” I say, walking over and squatting down in front of her. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  Sucking in a huge breath, she lifts her shoulders letting out a controlled breath. “This… this situation,” she mumbles, “it’s bringing back too many memories.” Bolting her eyes shut, her head falls into her hands and stills. “I’m sorry,” she sniffles. “I should be supporting you, helping you, but it’s hard, you know?”

  “Babe, I know. Every day you amaze me with your strength and how you manage to push past the memories and the demons that haunt you. You have nothing to apologize for.”

  Lifting her head, her teary eyes meet mine. “I don’t want to lose you, Tara.”

  “You won't,” I tell her with every ounce of conviction I have inside of me.

  “You have to come stay with us.” Her voice wavers as she rushes out her words. “I know we can keep you safe. The idea of you being at your apartment, alone, scares the life out of me. Especially after he just called.”

  I chuckle. “You can’t keep watch over me all of the time. And let’s face it,” I say with a sigh, reaching behind me and pulling up a chair until I’m sitting in front of her. “He can’t make me be with him. If I suddenly disappear, then people are going to know something happened.”

  “But Brax said—” I hold up my hand, cutting her off, before she has a chance to go over what Brax said.

  “Yes, I know what he said, Izzy, but this is different.”

  “Tara.” She reaches, stroking my forearm. “I know you’re thinking positive, and you’re strong,
and I’m not trying to knock that or scare you, but the truth of it is, they are outlaws. The one percenters that take matters into their own hands. No rules, no boundaries. They will take what or who they want. You have to take this as a serious threat. We have to be prepared and protect you at all costs.”

  “For how long, Izzy? A week? A month? A year?”

  “For as long as it takes.”

  “I can’t live my life that way,” I reply with a sigh. And that’s the truth. No matter how scary Jeffries is, I won’t live in fear. Somehow, I have to finish this. Tell him I’m not interested and make it clear that I won’t ever be one of his biker whores. Not now, not ever.

  Nate

  Hobbling down the corridor, I try to make my way out of this horrible, sterile hospital.

  “Sir.” The nurse pulls on my arm, bringing me to a stop. I turn to face her. “Without surgery, your wounds will heal with serious scarring and contracture.”

  “I have the pain meds and antibiotics. I’ll be sure to keep it clean,” I dismiss her, turning to get out of here as quickly as I can.

  “Sir.” Her hand lands gently on my shoulder. “I’m worried about you. You should really stay and see someone. I’ve cleaned your wounds, but you may need surgery. Please, just wait a little while longer…” My gaze shifts from her face, to her hand resting on my shoulder. She drops it, holding her hands in front of her nervously.

  “Thanks, but no, thanks. Like I said, I’ll keep it clean.” Dropping my head, I march forward, storming out of the hospital. My eyes fall to the dressings on my legs, the pair of jeans now cut off to the knee, and I exhale as I look at the state I’m in. I try to move my legs, but the tightness I feel makes my feet shuffle rather than move. I’m a mess, such a fucking mess. Pressing my hand on the main door, I thrust it open, shivering as the morning air hits me.

  “Fuck, man. You look bad.” I snap my head upwards, meeting Brax’s eyes.

  “Jesus, what are you doing here?” I ask.

  “Came to see if you’re okay. But I’m not fucking sure you are.”

  I look up at his dark-green eyes, and behind the scary exterior is a man of integrity. Someone that cares for people, but also doesn’t take any shit. I swallow down as I look at someone I admire greatly.