Montana Bride

by Jillian Hart

  Nerves fluttered inside her. At least she hoped it was anxiety and not the nausea that plagued her each morning and lasted throughout much of the day. She took small breaths, wishing she had something to nibble on, something to put into her stomach. She swept snow off the seat beside her and swung her feet around.

  “What do you think you are doing?” Harsh words admonished her. Austin broke out of the shadow beside her, but his rugged face wasn’t pursed with harsh displeasure. A merry light twinkled in his eyes. “You wait for me to help you down. If you are to be my wife, you will have to let me be courteous to you.”

  “Oh, I—” She fell silent, her tongue refusing to work, her mind going blank. The back of her eyes burned as she placed her hand on his palm. Her knees shook as she hopped onto the running board and landed on the ground with a jolt.

  He towered over her, brawny and substantial and powerful enough to break the bones in her hand if he squeezed, but it was only his gentleness she saw. Her throat closed up entirely and she could not thank him. She could not speak as he offered her his arm.

  “It’s slick, so be careful.” He shortened his long-legged stride to accommodate her as he led her down a snow-covered path and into the shelter of the church’s tiny vestibule. There was no darkness to hide in and no falling snow to veil him. In the fall of the bright lamplight, he was even more handsome. The pleasant lines of his face, the wide intelligent eyes and the hint of a smile upturning his mouth, naturally took her breath away.

  Why would Austin need to write away for a wife? The question ate at her again, undermining her confidence and feeding her fears. And worse, he could see her clearly. Was he regretting his decision? Was he trying to hide his disappointment as he led her into the sanctuary?

  “I’ll be right back,” he promised, the low, resonate tone full of an emotion she could not name. “I need to tend to the horse.”

  “Yes.” She watched him go, then wrapped her arms around her middle, feeling intensely alone as the door swung shut behind him. His opportunity to escape, she thought, shaking her head. Snow tumbled from her plain dark hair as she stared at the closed door.

  “Austin tells me you’re a widow.” The reverend’s sympathy appeared genuine. “But you aren’t wearing black. Your mourning period must be over?”

  “My husband died six weeks ago.” She flushed and stared hard at the plank floor, where a dust of snow lingered, the building too cold for it to melt. She could feel the stranger’s scrutiny. How did she admit she did not own a black dress and she couldn’t begin to afford the fabric to sew one? She was sad Jed’s life had ended but she did not miss him. She wished she did. “Brain fever took him.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” Compassion, where others might judge. The minister’s gaze lingered at her waist, wondering.

  She tightened her arms around her middle, unable to speak of something so private to a man she did not know. Ridiculous because she could not hide her condition forever. The door swung open, icy wind swirled past her and Austin returned. The snow on his shoulders accentuated his physical power, his breadth and height and strength, but it was the kind gleam of concern in his blue eyes as he focused on her that affected her.

  “You must be cold clean through.” He pulled off his gloves. “I should have noticed earlier you didn’t have any mittens.”

  They had worn out beyond repair, but she didn’t tell him that. In the bright light he must be able to see the patches on her clothes and shoes. He must be able to see what she was, and still the kindness in his gaze remained.

  His boots knelled on the planks as he paced closer. She shivered when he drew near. The tiny hairs on her arms and the back of her neck stood straight up and tingled. Air caught in her chest as he gently slid his gloves on her hands. Way too large, they dwarfed her, but the sheepskin lining was toasty warm from his heat.

  “Are you ready to get married?” he asked.

  Too choked up to answer, she managed a single nod. On jelly knees and shaking like a leaf, she followed the minister to the front of the church with Austin at her side.

  Chapter Two

  “In sickness and health until death do you part?” Reverend Lane paused, allowing silence to fall in the small church. The gust of wind outside battered the eaves, sending a chilling breeze through the already unheated building.

  This wasn’t the way Austin had envisioned the ceremony, but the train had been late and he was a man of his word. He had promised Willa he would marry her the moment she stepped foot off the train, to provide for her and her unborn child and to keep her safe from harm of any kind. He wanted to show her the man he was. He unclamped his teeth, afraid they would chatter, but managed to speak in a strong clear voice that carried the power of his conviction. “I do.”

  Her hand, so small within his much larger one, trembled even harder. The poor woman, hardly more than a girl, with her blue doe eyes and soft-faced vulnerability. Several rich molasses locks had escaped her chignon to curl around her cheeks and chin. Her high cheekbones, small sloping nose and dainty chin must have been carved by angels they were so flawless.

  It was her unassuming beauty and soulful eyes he liked the most, but he had not expected a woman so comely or, he hated to admit, one so young. He was in his late twenties and she could not be eighteen. Age was not something he had asked about in their brief correspondence.

  “I pronounce you man and wife.” The reverend said the words with a hint of gravity and sympathy that rang like a bell tolling in the quiet sanctuary. “You may kiss the bride.”

  Tension shot through the small hand resting in his. He felt the cool wedding band on her finger when she jerked away. She gazed up at him, vulnerable and so small, half his size. Such a petite slip of a girl, and he must seem like a giant to her. He felt like one as he leaned in, feeling the air snap with tension. Uncertainty passed across her face. He recognized the plea in her big beautiful eyes, the look he’d come to know so well as a blacksmith. He worked with horses all day long, animals subject to a man’s whims of temper and thoughtlessness.

  A thousand vows rose into his heart, ones he could not find the words to say. He hoped he had the chance to show her every one so she would no longer be afraid. So in time she could see some promises were made to be kept. Some anxiety slipped from her face as she watched him tilt to the side, away from her rosebud lips that were so tempting. But there would be time later for that.

  Her silk tendrils brushed his forehead as he dropped a kiss against her satin cheek. Unprepared for the tenderness that swept through him, he jerkily straightened and settled his hand protectively against her shoulder blade.

  “We should get home where it’s warm. You too, Bill.” He could feel Willa trembling through her worn, wool coat. “Thanks for staying late for us.”

  “Drive safely,” the reverend called out, his words echoing in the high ceiling as Austin opened the door and Willa disappeared ahead of him into the blinding night.

  Was it disappointment that dug into him as she forged ahead without him? He rubbed at the painful spot on his chest and followed her tracks through the deepening snow. He caught up to her at the buggy and seized her forearm.

  “Thought you could get away from me, did you?” He helped her onto the seat, making sure there was no hint of his disappointment in his words, just the warmth he wanted her to believe in. “The drive home isn’t far. Are you warm enough? I can give you my coat.”

  “Oh, no.” She wrapped her arms around her middle. “Thank you, but I’m used to the cold.”

  “Fine.” He patted her arm once before stepping away to remove the horse’s blanket. The wind disbursed the warm impression he left, and she felt alone. She was not used to sitting in a buggy while a man worked.

  No, not just any man, she thought. Her husband. She gulped, drawing in air to stay the kick of panic in her chest. She had give
n him back his gloves in the middle of the ceremony, when he had produced a smooth gold band for her to wear. The ring felt foreign on her finger and cold against her skin. Jed had not been able to afford a wedding ring, although he had been able to find the money to buy bottles of whiskey.

  She had married Jed straight off the stagecoach. He had met her at the stop, treated her to a fine lunch at the small town’s only hotel. He had been on his best behavior then, too, behavior that had covered his true self like a fine, fancy veneer. She’d learned the hard way men showed you what they wanted you to see. She huddled into herself as the spikes of cold on the wind became bitter.

  Austin’s low baritone mumbled, his words indistinguishable as he uncovered the horse. He was nothing more than an impression in the dark. She caught a glimpse of the crown of his hat, the solid line of his shoulder and the blur of movement as he folded the blanket. This inclement night was vastly different from the hot summer day Jed had tossed her trunk into his battered wagon and driven her across the vast, lonely Dakota prairie, yet she recalled it vividly. The following two years had gone by slowly and unhappily. She lifted her chin, determined to handle this marriage differently. At least she knew the truth. She would be realistic. She no longer believed in a man’s good side or in the fiction of romantic love.

  “Calvin is none too happy with me.” With the hint of a wry grin, Austin climbed up and settled onto the cushioned seat beside her. “I’ve spoiled him.”

  “Have you?” She wished she could be the girl she once was, one who could look at a man hoping to see the good. She could tell Austin wanted her to see he took fine care of his horse, but the way he sat so straight, shoulders back, reminded her of Jed’s self-pride that had known no bounds. Her insides clenched tight. Please, let him not be like that. Austin seemed kindly and pleasant, but how deep did those qualities go?

  Her heart stammered as if she were standing on the crumbling edge of a very high cliff with no way to save herself from falling. She was about to find out. She was about to discover exactly how her life would go. As the horse pulled them down the snowy lane, she fought the urge to leap out and stop the future from happening.

  But it was too late. She was bound to this man for as long as they both drew breath. She had to be prepared for silent evenings made longer with a man’s displeasure at her and for long days of physical work.

  Night had fallen, making the trees towering on either side of the road look like frightening creatures of the night. A wolf’s howl called eerily through the forest, reminding her they were in wild, high mountain country. Every passing mile reminded her how much her life had changed only to stay the same. She was still a wife, she still carried a child she might not be able to love and she was still convenient to a man who had chosen a mail-order bride because he could find no other.

  “Calvin isn’t used to standing in the cold,” Austin explained. “He’s never been up this late before. He’s old and set in his ways.”

  She heard the note of humor in his voice but did not smile. She curled her hands into fists. “Have you had him for a long time?”

  “Since the day he was born. He’s like a brother to me.”

  “A brother?”

  “A horse brother, then.” Austin’s chuckle rumbled deep, a sound that tried to reach out to touch her heart.

  She inched back on the seat, needing distance. Shyness washed over her. She felt small, and he was so big. The dark night world surrounding her echoed with a vastness she could not see or measure. She did not like being vulnerable. How much farther to the cabin?

  “Sometimes you meet someone and you just know.” Austin’s conversational tone held a note of strain. Perhaps he was nervous, too. “That’s the way it was for Calvin and me. Has that ever happened to you?”

  “No.” The word sounded abrupt, and she winced. She was stressed, that was all, and she hated that it showed. “I was close to my mother and grandmother.”

  “Was?” His deep voice gentled, asking for more information. He turned toward her with a hint of concern in his posture as he loomed on the seat next to her.

  “Scarlet fever.” She swallowed hard, holding back the memories of being fifteen and their sole caretaker. “We all fell ill, but my case was light compared to theirs. My mother went first. It was—” Words failed her. She didn’t know how to begin the story about her mother.

  “I lost my ma, too.” He swallowed hard and although the night hid him fully from her sight, she could feel the essence of him and the strength of his heart. “It was like the sun going out. Like morning without a dawn to light it.”

  “Yes.” Her jaw dropped, surprised this giant of a man understood. Not that she dared believe him too much. “Gran never recovered. She said she’d lost everything.”

  “Everything? What about you? She still had her granddaughter.”

  “Two days later, she was gone, too.” How did she explain? The circumstances of her birth and her existence were a shame to her grandmother and a tragedy for her mother. She laid her hand on her stomach, thinking of the babe within. Life was complicated and love was a myth.

  “We’re here.” Austin’s announcement broke through her thoughts, scattering them on the wind like snowflakes. “This is home.”

  “Home.” Relief ebbed into her. She saw nothing but a slope of a roofline against the iridescent black sky. A good strong roof, by her guess, one that would keep out the wet and the cold. Sturdy walls that would provide the shelter her baby would need.

  “You wait for me to help you.” He sounded stern, but the harsh notes did not ring true. He hopped to the ground, hurrying around the buggy to offer her his hand. Such a strong hand. He’d swooped her off the seat and onto her feet before she could blink.

  “It’s not much,” he said, grabbing her satchel. “I’ve already spoken to Mrs. Pole over at the mercantile to add your name to my account. You can buy all the frills and fabric you want to make curtains and such. I remember how my ma was, and my sisters are always stitching something pretty for their homes.”

  “You have sisters?”

  “It’s slick here.” His boots thudded on wood steps. “I’ll have to get this shoveled off. Yep, I have one sister and two sisters-in-law, which means I have two brothers as well.”

  “And they live in the area?” Her soft alto was calm and carefully controlled, but he heard the curiosity.

  “Hard to believe, isn’t it?” He kicked the snow from his boots against the siding and opened the door. The scent of freshly cut wood met him. “You would have thought having so many ladies around me would have civilized me better.”

  “Is your sister older?”

  “Younger.” He winced, wondering what she saw when she looked at him. A man older than she’d expected, no doubt, and that pained him. He’d known it was unrealistic but when he’d met her at the train he’d hoped she would instantly like him. That there would be a spark, some recognition between them that would tell him he’d made the right decision. It had been an impulsive decision to offer her marriage, one he wanted neither of them to regret.

  He struck a match and lit the wall sconce. The wick leapt to life and the flame chased away the darkness to reveal the sitting room, full of windows with old sheets for curtains. His sister was always offering to sew for him, but he didn’t need frills. Now, as he studied the sparse room, he fought off a sense of shame. He wished he had been able to build a bigger home for Willa.

  “I’m afraid there’s a lot of gussying up for you to do.” He covered his feelings with a grin. “My sister offered to sew and fancy up the place, but in the end I thought you might want to do things your way. Make this good and truly your home, too.”

  “I see.” Her eyes widened like a deer facing a hungry hunter. She said nothing more, gazing at the sofa he’d ordered from Chicago so his wife would have a comfortable place to sit with her sew
ing, and at the furniture he and his pa had made long ago before Ma’s passing. End tables, a rocking chair, two deep wooden chairs and a window seat.

  “This isn’t the only room.” She gestured toward the closed doors along the end of the room.

  “No.” He lit a table lamp. “There’s a kitchen and two bedrooms. We can add on as more children come.”

  She blushed, dipped her chin and focused on working the buttons on the tattered coat she wore. His wedding ring glinted on her slender hand, moving a little because it was a bit too big. He’d had to guess at the size. In the end, his sister and sisters-in-law had helped him and he’d simply gone with their advice. They had offered their advice on more than the ring, and those words drove him now.

  “Come, sit and warm up.” He rose and held out his hand, waiting for her to come to him. “You have had a hard journey and you need to rest.”

  “Rest? There’s supper to make. Is the kitchen through one of those doors?” She gestured toward the wall where three doors led to the different rooms of the house. The last button released and she shrugged out of her coat.

  “First things first. You need to warm up.” He lifted the worn garment from her slim shoulders, breathing in the scent of roses and sweet, warm woman. Tenderness welled up with a strength he hadn’t predicted and shone through like a light in the dark.

  The coat she’d worn had hidden so much, he realized as he folded it over his arm and helped her settle on the sofa. She was smaller than the bulk of the garment had suggested, a wee wisp who looked overworked and underfed. He noticed the patches on her dress were carefully sewn but there were many. He hung up her coat, frowning. Her advertisement had said she was in great need of a husband and a home. She had not exaggerated.

  “I want to tell you right off. I am not the best cook.” She gazed up at him apologetically. “Although, in truth, I am not the worst.”

  “I’m not picky. I will be grateful not to eat my own cooking for a change.” He knelt at the hearth to stir the embers. “You don’t have to worry about it tonight. My sister brought over a meal to warm up. She wanted to make things easier for you.”